Not My Problem

by Ciara Smyth

  UNKNOWN NUMBER

  Hi! I only just got home. We were there all day. No breaks, just a sprain.

  AIDEEN

  Wrng #

  UNKNOWN NUMBER

  No, it’s not the wrong number. I know perfectly well whose number this is.

  AIDEEN

  R U actually sugestn there’s no way U cuda got a wrng numbr?

  MEABH

  Well, I didn’t, did I? Besides, that’s not the point. You know who this is.

  AIDEEN

  wel iz it sprained enuf 4 U 2 stay off d team untl aftr d election?

  MEABH

  Genuinely cannot continue this conversation if you’re going to type like that.

  AIDEEN

  K

  I grinned to myself and waited. Mam’s phone rang then; she got up and I heard it ringing all the way down the hall. She must have waited until her bedroom door was closed to answer it.

  MEABH

  Fine. Though I think translation of your messages will soon be used alongside sudoku and crossword puzzles to keep the minds of the elderly active.

  AIDEEN

  Wots ur prblm?

  MEABH

  I think you’re contributing to the downfall of the English language.

  AIDEEN

  Not tht u snob. i fixd ur lyf didnt i? sum ppl wud say thx

  MEABH

  I did say thanks. And I’m texting you because I wanted to warn you. I shouldn’t be telling you this but Dad was asking after you on the way to the hospital. He said that if you didn’t pull your socks up he’d have to pursue it. Then he realized he shouldn’t be saying it to me and stopped talking.

  AIDEEN

  lol

  This was actually bad news. I knew what “pursue it” meant. With a horrible principal it would mean expulsion or something. With a wannabe hero like Meabh’s dad it would mean education welfare, which was actually worse. They were the social workers who came after you if you didn’t go to school often enough. Busybodies.

  MEABH

  You are hopeless.

  AIDEEN

  Ur welcome

  MEABH

  Thank you. I owe you.

  Remember how I said this all started with Meabh and her tantrum? Well, it did. And she wouldn’t like to hear this, but it’s her fault it continued too. That text is important. It’s gonna come back to bite her in the ass.

  A couple of hours later, Mam got up to go to bed after spending the whole evening texting and I finally tore a few sheets of paper from a file block.

  “Are you not going to bed?” she yawned.

  “Homework.”

  “Right. Oh, by the way,” she added with a kind of casualness that set my teeth on edge. “I’m going away with Bernie after work tomorrow. Just for a night.”

  I said nothing.

  “She got a voucher for the spa at the Hillgrove and wants to take me!”

  I can’t stand Bernie. She’s a bad influence. She gets Mam all worked up about the little things and stresses her out until Mam starts seeing problems where there are none. It’s always my job to talk her down after that.

  But that’s not why I had that sick feeling in my stomach. Bernie didn’t have an expensive voucher for two people to a fancy spa. And if she did, she wouldn’t take Mam. I thought of her weird absence this morning, her secret phone call, the constant texting. This meant only one thing.

  Dad was back.

  After Mam went to bed, I tried to focus on my essay. I had to do something. I stared at the pages in my lap and tried flicking through the book. Having written ten lines that I had to squeeze out of me, I wanted to cry. How was anyone supposed to do this? Most of the words were easy, but they were in a jumbly, tumbly order so nothing made sense. I went to the chapter on my poem in our textbook and tried reading it, but concentrating on the long sentences made me feel like my eyes were crossed. I don’t think I understood it all, but the first two paragraphs at least explained what the poem was about so I wrote them out in my own words. The whole time I was really thinking about Mam though. Why was Dad sniffing around again? What did he want this time? Maybe he’d give us some money. Maybe he’d stay. Maybe he’d realized that Mam was the love of his life and he wouldn’t mess her around again.

  Why did Mam always let him come back? Why was she such a doormat? Why was I the one who had to fix our life after she blew it to smithereens again and again? Was there something I could do this time before it all got fucked up instead of trying to mend it afterward?

  6.

  Even though I was up half the night and could feel the eye bags, I was early for school because around six thirty I simply gave up on trying to sleep. I got the early bus and figured I could spend the extra time with Holly, since she was always early. I texted her to let her know I’d be there. While I was walking up the hill toward the main entrance, Kavi appeared as if from nowhere, holding a set of three helium balloons. Each one had a single word of the phrase “Get Well Soon” printed on it.

  “Please tell me those are not for Meabh,” I said.

  “But they are. Aren’t they nice? I was going to stick them on her locker. I have tape in my bag. One time I was off school for three weeks with glandular fever and when I came back no one even noticed I was gone and I thought it would be nice for Meabh to feel like she was missed.”

  I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Kavi, I don’t think you should give her those.”

  “Why not?”

  The truth was I didn’t want it getting about that Kavi was a witness. My gut said he had no intention of telling this story, but if for any reason Mr. K suspected anything I didn’t want him to grill Kavi. He seemed too good to outright lie to the principal.

  I was wrong about that.

  “They’re plastic. Meabh won’t like that.”

  “God, you’re right. They’re terrible for the environment. That’s like getting Meabh a reverse gift. She loves the environment.”

  “Right, Kavi, we all love the environment. Just stick them in your locker or something.”

  He nodded seriously and began sprinting up the hill without another word, the balloons trailing behind him in the air.

  No one was in the sports hall when I arrived early for registration, except Holly. Mostly people hung out by the lockers until the first bell. I imagined Kavi there now and realized I had not made the most inconspicuous suggestion. The thought of him wrestling balloons into his locker made me want to laugh and bury my face in my hands at the same time.

  Holly smiled and patted a bouncy ball beside her when she saw me. I took a wobbly seat and she handed me a coffee cup from the school café. She was shivering in the huge hall, which hadn’t quite heated up yet, because she refused to wear the puffy coat her mam had bought. Actually she’d given it to me and I was wearing it and it was super warm.

  I took my cup and sniffed. Steamed milk with cinnamon. My favorite. “Thanks.”

  “Anytime, hun. Why are you so early? What happened to you yesterday? Did you hear Queen Meabh broke her ankle? I saw her this morning by the lockers, and she was wearing some kind of special boot.”

  I ignored the other questions. Normally I would tell Holly I suspected my dad was back in our lives, but saying it out loud made it more real and I wanted to pretend for another little while. “She didn’t break it, it’s sprained.”

  “How do you know?” Holly said, shocked. I never knew the gossip from school unless I heard it from her. I quite enjoyed having information she didn’t. Even if I had to lie about it.

  “I was there when she fell.”

  “WHAT? Oh my God. Tell me everything. How’d she do it? Did she trip over her own ego? Did her head swell up so much that she couldn’t stay balanced and she fell over? Did she simply collapse under the weight of her own arrogance?”

  I laughed.

  “I think she just tripped like a regular person,” I said. “She was actually pretty hurt. Her foot swelled up and looked really weird.”

  “Is that it
?” she said, clearly disappointed that I didn’t have a more embarrassing story for her.

  “That’s it.” I shrugged. I obviously wasn’t telling her the real story. It occurred to me that maybe this was the first time I’d ever kept anything from Holly, and I felt a terrible urge to spill it all. But it just felt wrong. Like I’d be handing her the perfect way to take Meabh down, and even if I didn’t like Meabh, I had agreed to help her. I couldn’t stab her in the back now.

  Holly looked annoyed for a second. Then she rearranged her face into something more neutral and sighed.

  “I’m only sorry I won’t get the chance to be chosen as captain over her. She’ll think the only reason she didn’t get it is because she can’t get it.”

  “Who cares what she thinks?” I said. “She wasn’t going to get it anyway. You were. At least this way you don’t have to deal with her on the team at all.”

  “I suppose,” Holly said, but she didn’t seem comforted. “You don’t get it though—you don’t have a thing. You don’t know what it’s like to be the best at something and then have someone else continually try and take it from you. She doesn’t even deserve it. She only got captain last year because her dad’s the principal and Ms. Devlin was being a lick arse.”

  Oh yeah, it must be so hard for you being great at things, and it’s so easy for me being rubbish at everything.

  That wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t think that. She didn’t mean it like that. I brushed off the prickly pin feelings.

  The rest of the class began arriving. A few grumpy, crumpled morning faces staring blankly, a lot more loud chatter and laughing.

  “Will you do my eyes?” Holly produced a liquid eyeliner pen from her pocket. “I spent twenty minutes on it this morning and I couldn’t get them even,” she pouted.

  Eyeliner is my one great skill. So in fact, I am the best at that. My expertise in perfectly equal lines and delicate flicks is mostly useless but definitely unparalleled.

  Holly’s face relaxed as she closed her eyes and her cheek was soft where I rested my hand to steady it as I applied the black liquid in one single swift motion.

  She checked it in her phone camera.

  “Perfect, even while bouncing,” she said, and smooched the air in my general direction.

  I took a sip of my coffee, feeling unreasonably pleased with myself. Holly was my best friend and I liked making her happy. Some days, like today, it was easy.

  “I really shouldn’t have wasted my morning on makeup anyway because I didn’t do that English homework. Did you?” Holly seemed hopeful that we would at least both be in the same boat. Although she didn’t have two strikes already.

  “I did for a change,” I said, and she slumped a little so I added, “but it’s terrible.”

  “Ms. Devlin is going to kill me.”

  “Why didn’t you do it last night?”

  “Oh. Last-minute thing. I met up with someone and went to see a film. When I got back I was too tired. Meant to get up early, but you know what I’m like.”

  I didn’t say anything. Holly joined the paper last year and made new friends. She introduced them to me and they were nice enough but they never became my friends. Since she got editor in September she’d been spending more and more time with them. Especially Jill. I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous even though I knew she was entitled to friendships outside of ours. She’d always had a lot of friends. But until Jill, there hadn’t been anyone she was really close to. That was me. I was the one she went places with and told her secrets to. Like the time she saw balls for the first time and was surprised to find out they weren’t separate on the outside. We had both pictured them as being a bit like a Newton’s cradle. No one else knew that. Holly admitted to me the thoughts and feelings that made her sound stupid. We had always trusted each other with those things.

  Meabh finally hobbled in and stood in front of a ball. I watched her glare at it as though the rubber sphere was telling her she couldn’t possibly maneuver herself onto it with that boot. Her eyes said challenge accepted. Gingerly she lifted her bad foot and in a sort of one-legged squat lowered herself onto it. A few people laughed. Meabh didn’t seem at all embarrassed and when she landed without incident her face said I told you so. Then she noticed me watching and our eyes met for the briefest second before I looked away. What were the rules now? Were we meant to say hello to each other?

  Ms. Devlin strode in and distracted me by pointing at both Holly and me. She didn’t even have to tell us to leave the coffee cups outside. I downed as much of mine as I could while slinking slowly to the door and setting the cup on the windowsill. Meabh’s eyes followed us, probably because she was worried we’d leave our litter behind when we left.

  Ms. Devlin called names and reminded people to check the bottoms of their shoes for gum because she’d found some stuck to the BRAND-NEW sports hall floor (which presumably she personally inspected each night and lovingly caressed) and she would rather assume carelessness than outright sabotage at this early stage.

  “Any more takers for student council president?” Ms. Devlin said, and she looked disappointed in us all when no one said anything. “There’s still time. All you have to do is submit a few proposals. It’s only a few pages.”

  I could feel Meabh’s energy humming from the corner of the room. She really believed someone was dying to snatch her new crown away before she could polish it.

  On our way out I made a point of looking directly at her as I picked up our used coffee cups and took them with me. Holly didn’t seem to notice. She was babbling about something else.

  “We don’t have any classes together for the rest of the day,” she pouted. “Have lunch with me at the restaurant.”

  Transition years were allowed to go off campus to this café down the street. People called it the restaurant to differentiate it from the school café. Holly noticed me hesitating.

  I really wanted to go for lunch with Holly. I hadn’t got to spend much quality time with her lately.

  “It’s my treat,” she said pleadingly.

  “You already bought me coffee this morning,” I said.

  “And you did my eyeliner. Those are professional-grade skills. We’re even,” she replied.

  We were never even. But I smiled anyway. I could never say no to her.

  When the lunch bell rang I waited for Holly at the front steps of the main entrance. I stuck my headphones in and played my Creepy Vibes and Spooky Beats playlist through my covert Wi-Fi access and leaned my head back to soak up a rare ray of January sun. Dozens of students milled past me and I felt like I was in a music video. One of the ones where the singer stands still and everyone moves really fast around them. Then someone touched me and I jumped. I expected to see Holly when I opened my eyes. But the figure standing over me was blocking the sun. A feat Holly was not capable of.

  “Kavi?”

  So I know I said it all started with Meabh and her nonsense. But there was Kavi. Where would I be without him? Maybe it would have been a very short story about how I once pushed a girl down stairs and then carried on with the rest of my life as normal.

  “I have been looking all over for you,” he said, exasperated.

  I was skeptical. “What do you want?”

  “I need you to come with me,” he said urgently.

  “I need to get lunch. I’m starving.”

  “Don’t you even want to know why?”

  I shrugged and closed my eyes again.

  “Are you tired? Did you not sleep last night? Sometimes I don’t sleep well. You know those nights where you go to bed and you lie there and you’re like, ah, I really need to go to sleep right now because I have to wake up really early but then the weird thoughts come into your head and you get sucked into the weird thought place and forget that you’re meant to be sleeping until you’re like, oh no, I’m supposed to be trying to sleep, so you close your eyes again but then like ten minutes later you realize you’ve done it again. I don’t know why that happe
ns some nights, you know?”

  “You should try mixing sugar into your coffee during the day instead of cocaine, Kavi.”

  “What do you mean? I don’t drink coffee. You know my mam says that you shouldn’t drink coffee until you’re twenty-one because it stunts your growth and I don’t want to stunt my growth. I’m six feet but I’d like to be six foot one because my brother said if you’re over six feet you get more dates on Tinder. Even though I can’t go on Tinder yet, I’m thinking I will when I’m eighteen, and I want to be able to maximize my chances at finding true love.”

  Pulling my earphones out, I opened my eyes and took a long look at him. He was tall. Though to me everyone was tall. He had soft-looking skin and black hair with cute curls; his eyes were big, dark brown, and framed by long, thick lashes I’d kill for. He was very good-looking, but I wasn’t sure Tinder’s USP was long-lasting matches.

  “Kavi, I feel confident you will not lose out on the love of your life because you’re only six foot tall,” I said, not adding that he’d have to find a good fucking listener. “But tell me, and I cannot stress this enough, in one sentence, why are you here?”

  He frowned. His tongue started to peek out of his mouth and I knew he was struggling to fit everything he wanted to say into one sentence.

  “I brought you a new client,” he said finally, clearly proud of his restraint.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What are you talking about?”

  “Come with me,” he insisted.

  I had to admit I was curious. Then I saw Holly approaching. Jill was beside her. They were laughing at some probably very smart joke. I looked at Kavi. He looked so hopeful.

  “Hey, Jill’s going to join us, okay?” Holly asked. She didn’t even notice Kavi at first, until I glanced at him and she realized she’d interrupted our conversation. Confusion settled in the furrows of her brow.

  Oblivious, Jill looked brightly at me. “I thought we could go to this café near the cinema. We had the most amazing Malteser squares there last night.”