Derek sucked air through his teeth, and he gave me a funny look. I knew that he had figured out that he probably shouldn’t press it. I didn’t get angry about very much, but there were some things that I didn’t like. One of those was that you didn’t talk about the woman I liked in any way that was disrespectful to her or to women in general. I wasn’t like him. I respected women. That might have made me look like a pussy in his eyes, but I didn’t really care. He seemed to realize just how serious I was because he didn’t press the issue any further.
The wave of anger and jealousy that rushed through me made me question everything, though. I hadn’t been this protective over any female since Whitney, and now the first thing Derek said about Rachel and I jumped down his throat. I felt very protective over her, and I didn’t get it. Was it because we had sex? Was it because I really do like her? I was so confused. I don’t think it would’ve been so hard if I wouldn’t have had a wife that passed away. But with Whitney in the back my mind all the time, it was making things a lot harder for me. Everything was more emotionally charged, and it was harder to figure things out objectively. I wasn’t sure what to do, and I wasn’t even sure where my life was headed.
I know that a big part of me really liked Rachel, and I wanted to be with her more than anything. But I also had to wonder about her. There were things she was holding back and hiding from me. Things that she didn’t want me to know. Did she really want to be with me? Maybe she was in the same exact boat I was. Maybe that was good, or maybe it just guaranteed that things weren’t going to work out between us. I just didn’t know.
“Well, I gotta take off. But I’ll see you on Saturday for my show,” Derek said.
I stood up with him. I kind of wanted to escort him out, mostly just to make sure he didn’t do anything rude in front of Rachel. I followed him down the stairs, and he paused for a moment when he passed by Nell and Rachel.
“See you later, ladies,” he said, and then walked out the door.
That left me feeling a lot better. He obviously knew that Rachel was off limits now, and I knew I didn’t have to worry about him. It wasn’t that I was worried about him going after her; I was more worried about him being disrespectful towards her, and that wasn’t okay. I wasn’t ready to tell him about us yet, but I didn’t want him to be rude to her either. She deserved to be respected and not treated like a piece of meat or a toy for men’s enjoyment.
“How about we go get a smoothie?” I asked the girls.
“Yes!” Nell yelled.
I looked at Rachel, who smiled and nodded her head. She was laughing at Nell’s reaction, which was pretty cute. I actually thought Rachel’s reaction to Nell was pretty cute too.
Once we were all out the door, I locked it behind us. We walked down the street to the local smoothie shop. It was just a few blocks away, and it was still pretty warm out, so it was nice to get out in the sunshine for a bit. We got down to the smoothie shop and ordered our drinks, and then sat down in a booth.
“So, Rachel. There’s a show this weekend for Derek, as you know. Would you like to come help me out with it?” I asked her, hoping that she would say yes. I would understand if she were to say no and wanted the weekend off though. She didn’t have to help me with this; I usually had shows handled pretty well by myself. It would be nice to have her with me, was all. Come to think of it, I’d never really had an assistant that was actually helpful, so it was a new experience all around.
She smiled at me. “I’d love to,” she said.
“Good,” I said, then I realized that might have sounded funny. So, I fixed it. “I mean, that’s good. I’m glad to hear that you can help me out.”
Get it together man, I scolded myself. I was falling apart. I was fumbling for words, and I had to admit I’d been pretty nervous when I’d asked her.
She laughed, and I knew that she knew it was only because I was nervous. I wondered if she knew what I really thought about her, and that I really did want to be with her.
“What did you think of Derek?” I asked. I wanted to know what she thought of him, and I wanted to find out if he had hit on her already. Maybe he’d made her feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t really sure.
“He’s, uh…” Her voice drifted off like she was trying to figure out what to say next. Maybe she didn’t want to upset me. Maybe she didn’t want to hurt my feelings by talking bad about my best friend. All I know is that I wanted to know more. She was hesitating, and it was making me uncomfortable.
“What? Did something happen?” I asked her.
She looked down at her smoothie, instead of at me, and I knew something happened.
“What did he do?” I asked.
“He might have hit on me a little bit,” she said finally.
“He did? Well, to be fair, I didn’t say anything, so he didn’t know.” I didn’t go into further detail with Nell sitting here, and I figured Rachel knew exactly what I was talking about by the way she looked at me.
“You didn’t?” she asked as if she couldn’t figure out why I wouldn’t tell him.
“Nope. It’s none of his business,” I explained to her.
Rachel smiled at me, and I think that maybe she respected me for doing that. For keeping my mouth shut, instead of being like a normal man and running around telling all my friends that we’d slept together. But I had never been like that. I never told anybody about Whitney and me having sex for the first time, and I definitely wasn’t going to start doing that with Rachel.
“This smoothie is so yummy,” Nell said.
I looked at her as she took one big gulp from her drink. I followed in suit, and so did Rachel. Soon the three of us were laughing from the brain freezes we all experienced. At that moment, I felt like my world was finally complete. I liked being there—just three of us, sitting there drinking smoothies and laughing. It was fun, and most of all, I had two beautiful girls with me who were both smiling and laughing. It was all I would ever need in my life, and I knew I didn’t want anything to ever change. I knew then that I wanted nothing more than to have Rachel stay in my life with me and Nell.
“Why do these hurt so bad?” Nell asked, tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.
I was laughing too hard to answer her, and so was Rachel. The both of us just looked at Nell and shrugged. Rachel tried to talk, I think to explain to Nell why that happened, but instead, it sounded like a wheezing noise, which only caused us to start laughing harder. I think we laughed for three minutes straight. We finally calmed down when we realized that people were staring at us like we were crazy. Nevertheless, it was one of the best moments of my life.
“Can Rachel come home with us?” Nell asked as we were finishing up our smoothies.
I looked at Rachel, who answered for me. A pretty big part of me was hoping she would say yes. I would have supported that plan. In fact, I hoped that she would.
“Not tonight sweetie. I’ve got some things I need to do,” she said.
I tried not to seem disappointed after she said this, but it was hard not to. I loved spending time with Rachel. I just loved being around her. Looking at her, talking to her, all of it. But most of all, I loved the way she interacted with Nell. She provided something for Nell that I couldn’t.
“But I want to hang out with you more,” Nell responded, making a sad face.
“Aw, Nell. We’ll have plenty of time to hang out together; I promise.”
“Okay,” Nell said and went back to her smoothie.
After the smoothies, we walked back to the gallery. I didn’t have anything else to do that day, so we closed up early. Rachel headed home, and Nell and I went back to our house. We watched one of her shows together. It was becoming my favorite time with her because I had a feeling deep inside of me somewhere that the time for just Nell and I was winding down, and coming to an end. That made me nostalgic, but also pretty damn excited, because I knew, whatever the future held for me included Rachel as well. I hoped so anyway.
Chapter 24
&n
bsp; Rachel
I was headed out the front door on Thursday afternoon. James had given me the next couple of days off to prepare for the crazy busy weekend we were going to have. As I was leaving, James and Nell showed up. Nell ran up and hugged me.
“Daddy says you are leaving early,” she said.
I smiled at her and nodded my head, “Yeah, is that okay?” I asked her.
She shrugged, and I had to laugh at that. Sometimes, she did things that were so almost adult-like it amazed me. She definitely was a very curious child and picked things up like crazy. I had to constantly watch what I was saying around her. I had to make sure that I wasn’t cussing and things like that because she would probably pick it up. I would hate to have to explain that to James.
“I wish you were staying,” she said. “I’m going to miss you.”
It warmed my heart when she said that, and I knew I was going to miss her, too. I found that I missed her a lot whenever I wasn’t around her, and she wasn’t even my own child. I got down on her level and gave her a big hug.
“I’m going to miss you too,” I said to her, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing gently. She hugged me back, as tightly as she could. I thought it was so sweet, my heart melted.
“Are you coming to the art show?” I asked her.
“No, I’m going to spend the night at my friend’s house.” She paused and looked up at her dad, “Daddy needs to work so it will be easier if I’m not around,” she said.
James laughed, “I didn’t say that. Those were not my words, I promise.”
I laughed along with him. I knew he wouldn’t say anything like that. But the way she’d said it was funny nonetheless.
“Well, I hope you have a good weekend with your friend,” I told her. It must’ve been so hard on James to see that his daughter wanted to spend the night at a friend’s house every weekend. I knew that he felt like he was losing time with her, and it was true. But that’s what kids do. They grow up. I didn’t really know what it was like, but I could imagine.
“I will, but I’ll miss you,” she said.
“It’s okay sweetie. I’ll see you next week, okay?” I reassured her.
She nodded, and I stood up and turned to face James. “I’ll see you Saturday,” I said to him, feeling like I really wanted to kiss him right then. But I didn’t, mostly because Nell was standing there and she didn’t really need to see that. I also wasn’t positive what was going on between us and I didn’t want to push any boundaries and scare them away. Things had been going so well between us.
I turned to leave, and then felt his hand wrapped around my arm, and he pulled me back a bit. He embraced me, and we hugged, but he didn’t kiss me. I could tell he wanted to, but that he was nervous with Nell in the room like I was. Kiss or not, I could tell he liked me, just like Nell had said he did.
I said goodbye and made my way out the door. I decided I’d head over to Sadie’s and visit with her for a bit. I needed some good girlfriend time and hoped she did too. I knew I needed someone to talk to. I’d been so busy with work and spending time with James and Nell lately that I hadn’t had much time to hang out with her. I felt a little guilty for that. Like I wasn’t being a very good friend. But I couldn’t help it, and I was sure she would understand.
I got to Sadie’s bakery, and it was busy as usual. We exchanged hellos, but she was with a customer, so I sat down at a table. There were three customers waiting in line, and after she’d finished with each of them, she came over to the table and sat down.
“Hey, long time no talk,” she said.
I laughed, though I wasn’t really sure if that was a dig at me for not coming around much, or if she was trying to be funny. I decided to hope that she was going with the latter. I really didn’t want her to be upset with me.
“Sorry haven’t been around much. I’ve just been so busy with my job with James, plus helping take care of Nell,” I said. She lifted an eyebrow at me, and I knew that had to deal with the conversation we’d had when I first started working for him. “Don’t worry, I’m still not trying to play mommy,” I said, putting my hands up in defense.
“I’m sure you’re not. But what else is going on with you guys?” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at me. I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I knew what she was getting at. I laughed.
“Well, I’m not 100% sure. We went on sort of a date a few weeks ago, and he didn’t even kiss me.” I said the last part sort of quietly. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to read too much into things.
“Why didn’t you just kiss him?” she asked.
That was a good question, and I hadn’t really ever thought of it. But we were past that now, and she hadn’t given me the opportunity to continue the update.
“I don’t know. But well, we went on another date. An official date this time, and one thing kinda led to another,” I didn’t say anything else because I figured I’d let her imagination run wild with that one.
She slapped her hand down on the table which sort of startled me a little bit, and I laughed. “No, no you didn’t. Did you?” She was laughing and looking delighted, so I could tell that she was really enjoying hearing about this. I debated whether I should just come out and tell her the truth or mess with her. Messing with her would be a heck of a lot more fun, but I wasn’t sure I was really in the mood to mess with her.
I nodded my head and left it at that.
“Oh my gosh. That’s awesome. You go girl. I was wondering if that was gonna happen,” she said.
“What do you mean?” I asked her.
“Well, you seem to like him and his daughter so much. I could tell you guys were getting closer and the way you talk about him tells me about the chemistry you both have together. I knew it was only a matter of time before he slept with them,” she said.
My jaw dropped open at what she said, and the way she said it made a sound like I was a floozy. That I would’ve slept with any boss I had, and I didn’t really want that reputation. I knew she was just messing with me, but if it was that easy for her to read, I wondered how many other people could see it as well.
“Also, you don’t typically attach yourself to somebody’s family members unless you’re really into them,” she said. I had to remember that Sadie and I had known each other for a long time, so she had been there for a lot of my life and the few boyfriends I’d had, none of which are really that serious, besides my ex of course.
“Listen, Rachel; I want you to know that I am in full support of this. And I am very happy that you’re happy. But I want just want you to keep in mind that you need to take things slow. I don’t want you to get way too involved and then have something happen to set you back. You’re finally doing so well, and I don’t ever want to see you go back to that dark place you were in. I hated when you were there. I wanted to help you, but I just didn’t know how. I just hope you realize this is coming from a place of love and concern,” she said.
I smiled at her. “I know what you mean. Thank you for caring so much. I want you to know that I am watching myself. I won’t let myself get to that deep dark place again. That was awful, and I don’t ever want to feel like that again,” I said to her.
She got up to help a customer get a refill, and then another customer came in. I pulled out my phone and saw that I had a text from James. He said that he already missed me. I thought it was cute that he said something like that to me, so I wrote back and told him that I missed him too. A few minutes later, Sadie came back over and sat down.
“So, there’s an art show this weekend. Are you going to be up to make it?” I asked her.
She made a face that told me that she had bad news. “I won’t be able to make it, I’m sorry. I have some new suppliers coming in, and I have to make sure to test out my recipes with these new ingredients. So, I have a very busy weekend. But, I’m so glad that you love what you do, and it’s so good to see that you have this new drive for something.” She leaned across the table and put her hand on mine.
“I’m serious, Rachel. It’s been years since I’ve seen you this happy and stable.”
I smiled at my best friend, so glad that she could be here for me. I squeezed her hand back. “Thank you, Sadie. That means a lot.” I said.
“After the divorce, you know,” her voice trailed off. “You just shut everybody out. So, I’m just really glad that you’ve let me back in.”
I had to admit that what she was saying was hard to hear because I didn’t want to hurt my best friend. I didn’t want to hurt anybody. But I’d been through so much that I really didn’t know what else I could do. Standing up, I gave my best friend hug and fought back the tears that threatened.
“I’m so sorry, Sadie. I will never do that to you again,” I said, “I promise.”
She hugged me back and told me she knew I wouldn’t. We sat back down, and she updated me on what was going on with her store. She’s getting ready to open the new location on the other side of town, and part of that required some new recipes. She wanted to bring in new recipes to up the hype of the new store. I told her that her ideas all sounded great. She also had ideas for making wedding cakes, which she had never sold before.
I was sincerely happy for my best friend. Everything was going so good for her, and, since things were finally going well for me, I didn’t feel jealous at all. Before, when I was miserable, I didn’t really like hearing about Sadie’s triumphs. I didn’t want to hear that things were going so great for her when things were so shady for me. Now that I was finally doing better, I loved hearing everything good that was happening for her.
I told her I couldn’t be happier for her. We hugged one more time just as some customers came in and I figured I’d better let her get back to work. I told her goodbye and said that I’d stop by again soon. When I got home, I picked up the picture that was sitting on my table and stared at it.
For the first time, I was able to look at it without breaking down into a blubbering mess. I was so glad and relieved that I was finally able to move on. I put the picture back down and went to take a bath.
Daddy Boss (A Boss Romance Love Story) Page 14
