Whiteout

by Adriana Anders

  At the sound, he answered her with a hungry groan and pulled her even more tightly against him. From the time they were kids, Derek had always seemed so easygoing and carefree, but the man kissing her was neither of those things. He was desperate and intense and possessive, instead. In fact, he was acting like a man in love.

  At that thought, she startled, yanking her head back and breaking the kiss.

  “What?” His voice was rough and husky, his gaze locked on her mouth.

  “Uh…” How could she explain her thoughts without dying of embarrassment? The decreased noise from outside registered as her head cleared slightly, and she seized on the distraction. “The wind’s quieter. If we don’t get back to base sometime soon, they’re going to send people out after us.” All the events of the day rushed back to her, and she marveled at how simply kissing Derek could erase all her thoughts and worries so easily.

  “Right.” He blew out a short breath, as if preparing to return to reality, but his grip didn’t ease. “You’re right. But I don’t want to move.”

  Tipping forward so her forehead could rest on his shoulder, she found it was easier to be brutally honest with him when she wasn’t meeting his gaze. “I don’t want to move, either.”

  He chuckled, although there was still a gritty sound to it. “So it’s settled. We’re staying here for infinity. It would be nice to be somewhere with heat, though.” Glancing around the cabin, he grimaced. “And walls.”

  “And fewer rodents.”

  “A hole-free roof.”

  “Maybe a bed?”

  Laughing, he hugged her close. “God, I’ve missed you, Artie.”

  “I’ve missed you, too. So much.” Still hiding her face against his shoulder, she admitted, “If I’d refused to let you go, I would’ve saved myself so much heartache and misery.”

  “What happened? Between you and Randy, I mean?”

  Artie groaned. Everything had been perfect—Derek, the kisses, the bear-free semi shelter—until the mention of Randy made her stomach knot. “It really is getting late. We should be heading back to base camp.”

  “Nice try.” Ignoring her attempt at redirecting the conversation, he didn’t make any move to rise. “Tell me.”

  She sighed, knowing he was stubborn enough to keep them there until they froze into ice statues or she spilled her guts. “You’re not going to drop this, are you?”

  “Nope.” His arms tightened around her. “Dog with a bone here.”

  Although she hated talking about the mess her former marriage had become, Artie realized that she wanted Derek to know. Except for the past four years, he’d been her best friend. She missed that, missed telling him everything and knowing he wouldn’t judge her. After a few seconds of struggling to figure out where to begin, she just blurted, “Remember how Randy was always so…intense?”

  He snorted. “Yeah. He was a competitive bastard, too. Everything had to be a bet, and then he always had to win. Who could spit the farthest or yell the loudest or run the fastest…” Even as he shook his head, a nostalgic smile curled his lips. Artie understood. He, Randy, and Artie’d had a lot of fun growing up—at least until he’d dumped her, leaving Artie heartbroken.

  “Or whose ant could cross the line in the dirt first.”

  “And then he stomped on yours just before you won.”

  “Yeah.” Her body sagged a little, and Derek held her tighter. Despite the terror and stress of the day, with Chase falling in the water and the girls going missing, being able to press against him like that was a single bright spark in a dismal day.

  “So…?”

  “So, he kind of swept me up in that intensity. He loved me so much, and wanted me so much, I kind of figured, who was I to turn him down?”

  Derek choked. “What?”

  “I know.” She shifted so she could press her temple to his shoulder while keeping her face hidden in his neck. That was really nice, too. “I was young and dumb and, I don’t know, malleable, I guess. You’d just dumped me—”

  “Not because I didn’t want you!” he protested. “I’d gotten you arrested. Arrested, Artie. If you’d been convicted, no school would’ve hired you. Teaching has been your dream since I’ve known you, and I almost wrecked your life.”

  That brought her head up so she could meet his gaze. “Is that why you broke up with me? Because you thought you were bad for me? And I just let you, too young and stupid and scared to fight back.” She closed her eyes for a second, angry with the both of them for letting youth and inexperience ruin what they could have had these last four years. “It wasn’t your fault, Derek. How could you have known that the motorcycle your dad gave you for your birthday was stolen?”

  “Because I know my dad.” His face tightened into furious lines. “He’s never paid for anything. Ever. I should’ve known that bike was hot, and I definitely never should’ve let you ride on it.”

  She scowled at him. “You weren’t the only one with an operable brain back then, you know. I knew all about your dad’s business, about the hidden compartments in his semitrailer. Everyone in Field County knows that your dad’s long-haul trucking business is just a front for moving whatever illegal goods need to be transported across the country.”

  His expression didn’t lighten. “My dad wasn’t the one who picked you up that day on a stolen bike. He wasn’t the one you trusted to keep you safe.”

  She wanted to smack him, but her hands were trapped under his coat, so she had to settle for pinching his side…hard.

  “Ow!” His body jolted beneath her. “What’s with the violence?”

  “Quit trying to make me the victim. You’d told me about your dad’s sticky fingers and then showed up on a motorcycle he’d given to you. I knew what I was getting into when I got on that bike, but I did it anyway because it was exciting and exhilarating and I wanted to be with you.” Familiar regret overtook her, and she dropped her eyes to his throat. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you when you ended things the next day. I, well, I guess I was still pretty freaked out about getting arrested. I’d never even gotten detention in high school, so that night in jail was kind of overwhelming.”

  “I’m sorry.” The same regret she felt was echoed in his words.

  She pinched him again. “Stop it, stupid. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry I didn’t stick with you. I’m sorry I didn’t fight to know why you were leaving and just assumed the worst. Instead, I took your words at face value and figured I had to find a way to get over you, so I kind of latched onto Randy.”

  “Right.” He cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded tight. “How did that happen?”

  “Now that I look back on it, I was such an idiot. Randy was there and interested and seemed like the safer choice, despite all his drama and jealousy.”

  “Safer?”

  Her cheeks flushed as she admitted, “I knew I’d never love Randy enough for him to hurt me like you had.”

  He groaned. “Artie…”

  “Quit with the self-flagellation, or I’m not going to tell you what happened.”

  “Self-flagellation?” Although he wasn’t smiling, his frown lightened a little. “I’d forgotten how much I loved it when you used your vocabulary on me.”

  “Stop.” Her face felt like it was on fire. “I have to get through this. As much as I hate talking about it, I want you to know everything. I think Randy always knew he was my second choice, and it kind of drove him crazy. He always had to know where I was and who I was with. I almost broke up with him a bunch of times, but it scared me.”

  His muscles tightened. “He scared you?”

  Instead of answering, she hunched her shoulders in a tiny shrug. “Mostly, I was scared of being alone. It’s tough for me to make new friends, for some reason. Maybe because I never had to as a kid. I had you and Randy, and I didn’t need anyone else. After you ended thin
gs, you just disappeared. That was”—her inhale shook—“hard. I missed you so much, and I didn’t know if I could handle losing Randy, too.”

  He opened his mouth, but she hurried to speak before he could say anything. It was hard to talk about the last four years, and she needed just to get it out before she lost her nerve. “Once I got my teaching job, things went from tense to, well, really tense. I love my job, love the kids, but it’s hard to turn off bossy-teacher mode.”

  “Why would you want to?” he asked, sounding honestly stumped. “I love it when you’re in bossy-teacher mode. It’s almost as sexy as when you use your big words.”

  “Thanks, Derek.” She relaxed a little, sinking against him as he rubbed her back. “Randy felt like he was losing control, so he tried to regain it. I’m different than I was when we got together, though, and I didn’t—don’t—want to be controlled. He started really pushing me about having a baby. I’d love to have kids, but the thought of Randy as a father… No. So we split.”

  She heard Derek’s molars grind together. “How exactly”—each word came out clearly and precisely—“did he try to ‘regain control’?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Her forehead rubbed his coat as she shook her head against his shoulder. “It’s done.”

  “Did he hit you?”

  The silence went on long enough to be an answer in itself. His muscles tensed against her, turning his body to rock. Artie wasn’t scared of him, though. She could never fear him—he was her Derek, and he’d protect her with his life.

  “Once,” she confirmed. “First and last time. I left him and stayed with my parents for a couple of months while I got my life together.”

  “He just let you go?” Derek’s voice didn’t sound like his.

  Her laugh, quick and silent, seemed to relax him a little. “Not exactly. It took a restraining order and a few chats with Sheriff Rob, but he finally moved to California. He said it was too hard to see me all the time when we weren’t together. I told him that he wouldn’t see me all the time if he weren’t stalking me.”

  Derek’s sharp bark of laughter surprised her. “Good point. Has he left you alone since he moved?”

  “Pretty much.” She shrugged. “There were a couple of texts and calls and emails, all of which I ignored. Everything’s been quiet the last few months. I have a feeling he has a new girlfriend.”

  “You okay with that?”

  “Definitely,” she said honestly. “Any remaining love for him faded before the divorce was final—probably even before his fist hit my face.”

  Just like that, all his furious tension returned. “Where in California is he?”

  She snorted. “Don’t try that oh-so-casual tone with me. I’m not telling you.”

  Pulling back just far enough to meet her eyes, he put on his most innocent expression. “Why not? Figured I’d just go catch up with my good friend Randy.”

  “Hah.” Smirking, she gave him another light pinch in the side. “‘Catch up’ as in kill him?”

  “Of course not. Hurt him, sure, but I’d leave him alive. Maybe.”

  “Thanks for the offer, but I’ve already gotten revenge for that punch.” Her lips curled in a smug smile.

  “Yeah?” His eyes strayed to her mouth.

  “Yeah. I had an awesome divorce lawyer. I’m now the proud owner of a Ducati Scrambler.”

  After a stunned second, a laugh burst from him. “But you don’t even know how to ride one. You said you never wanted to learn.”

  “I don’t ride it.” She shrugged, unable to stop her grin from lingering. It might’ve been petty and small-minded of her, but owning that motorcycle still warmed her insides. “I just go into the garage and look at it. It makes me happy that I have it and he doesn’t. He really loved that bike.”

  Laughing again, he hugged her hard. “I’m glad it makes you happy. That doesn’t make me want to kill him any less, though. How about you text me his address once we’re out of the forest-of-no-cell-reception?”

  “Nope. It’s a good life lesson to know that you can’t always get what you want.”

  His laugh faded. “All I ever wanted was you.”

  Her heart was tripping so fast that her heartbeats merged into a single sound. “You’ve always had me.”

  She felt his chest expand with his rapid inhale. “Do you mean it? Because if I get another chance with you, Artie, I’m never letting you go.”

  Her laugh was thick with the threat of happy tears. “I’ve been warned, and I accept your terms.”

  Despite the cold, all of Artie felt warm when his lips touched hers. This was it. She never thought she’d get another chance with him, not after Derek had dumped her and she’d screwed up her life with a series of Randy-based bad decisions. But here they were, older and wiser—or at least willing to try.

  “Is this real?” she asked, her words muffled by his mouth.

  He pulled back slightly, just enough for her to see his smile. “Doesn’t it feel real? Let me try again.” Dipping his head, he kissed her harder and thoroughly enough to leave her gasping by the time he raised his head. “Better?”

  It took her a moment to pick up the thread of their conversation. “I’m not sure. It could be that I’m freezing to death and having a cold-induced hallucination. You’d better try again.”

  She could feel the curve of his mouth as he pressed it to hers, and she marveled at how wonderful it was to kiss happy Derek, although she wouldn’t turn down mopey Derek or angsty Derek or teasing Derek or serious Derek or… The kiss intensified, and her thoughts were lost in a swirl of love and need and sheer joy.

  A crackle of static from the radio brought them out of their blissful world and back to the cold, dilapidated cabin. They both gave a sigh and then laughed at their mutual obvious disappointment.

  “The wind’s died down a little,” Derek said, his mouth still temptingly close to hers.

  “We need to let the others know we’re safe,” she sighed, wishing for a slightly less developed sense of responsibility. She would’ve been happy staying all night with Derek in the cabin.

  Although he groaned, he unzipped his coat. Before she could stand, though, he pulled her back for a final peck and a hard hug. Artie got to her feet quickly, knowing each second she stayed in his embrace would make it that much harder to leave it.

  As she zipped her coat, she couldn’t stop shooting quick glances at him, feeling weirdly shy and not quite believing that they’d just made out like a couple of teenagers. After four years, they were actually back together! The thought sent a surge of happiness and anticipation through her, making her bounce lightly on her numb toes. During the past four years, she’d had a hollow, Derek-shaped place in her heart, and it was finally filled again.

  They ducked through the low, lopsided doorway, and Artie shot a final look at the sad remains of the cabin. It had given them a windbreak and a chance to reconnect, and she felt almost fond of the slowly collapsing structure.

  She felt Derek’s gloved fingers wrap around her own. Turning toward him, she smiled, using her free hand to push stray strands of hair out of her face. Although the wind wasn’t as ferocious as it had been earlier, it still snapped around them, making the tree branches sway and moan.

  The afternoon had slipped away while they’d been happily occupied in the cabin, and dusk was fast approaching, lending an eerie cast to the forest. The pines were black against a dark gray sky. Normally, Artie enjoyed hiking, but she’d never tried walking in the forest this close to nighttime, especially in a snowstorm.

  The previous summer’s forest fire had decimated the area, and the dead trees still stood in blackened groups, needleless and foreboding. They wove their way between the lifeless trunks, the wind loud enough to erase any other sound.

  Uneasy, Artie tightened her fingers around Derek’s hand, wishing they were already home. Her m
ind returned to the fresh footprint from earlier and the flammable materials in the cabin. With the frantic urgency to find Zoe and Maya eased, Artie’s mind moved to the possible dangers in the forest—dangers to her and Derek.

  Every shadow between the trees became a bear to her unsettled imagination, and every squeak and tap of branches turned into footsteps.

  “You okay?” Derek asked when she jumped for the umpteenth time, squeezing the life out of his hand as she did so.

  “Sure.”

  “Artie.”

  “I’m fine. Just a little spooked.”

  “Don’t blame you.” His gaze swept back and forth with a watchfulness that didn’t help settle Artie’s nerves. “I’ll be happy to get back to base.”

  “Me too.” Something smacked against her leg, and she flinched before she realized it was just a cluster of dead leaves tossed by the wind. When she glanced at Derek to see if he noticed her scare, his smirk was obvious, even in the increasing gloom.

  “Shut it.”

  “I didn’t say a word.” The humor left his face quickly as he drew to a halt. “I’m going to see if we get radio reception here so we can let the sheriff know where we are.”

  Derek checked their GPS coordinates and lifted his radio, moving to face the blackened trunk of a dead tree to block the wind. Artie tipped her head back, watching the trees bend under a strong gust.

  A sharp crack rang out, and Artie spun around, startled. It had sounded almost like a gunshot. Another loud crash above them made her look up and suck in a hard breath.

  An enormous branch had been torn from the tree by the wind. It smashed through lower branches, the weight of it snapping the smaller limbs without slowing its fall.

  Grabbing the back of Derek’s coat, she ran, dragging him with her. After a few stumbling, backward steps, Derek twisted out of her grip and latched onto Artie’s arm, propelling her forward even faster—but not fast enough. The huge branch plunged to the ground, knocking both of them down with it.