“I’m proposing that the town approves the building of five two-bedroom cottages on the property in the future.”
“For what, Cooper?” one of his brothers yelled out.
Cooper cleared his throat and turned to her. Her breath caught in her throat and her mouth went dry at the vulnerability stamped across his handsome features. “I was thinking that in the future, it would be nice for mothers with children to have a small place of their own.”
“That’s a great idea,” she whispered, waiting, praying, for more.
“Because families need more room…and maybe, one day, one of those could be ours.”
Her pulse raced, and he took a few steps toward her. The room was silent, and she was almost certain her heartbeat was loud enough that everyone could hear. “Us?” she whispered.
He gave a nod.
“I thought—” She paused as her vision blurred with tears. “I thought there was no us.”
He took a step toward her. “That’s my fault. There is an us as long as you want there to be. I love you. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry I was too afraid to tell you the truth. I love you. That’s what I should have told you that day. I was attracted to you the first time I saw you. I fell in love with you the day you threw that ball at my head.”
She sniffled and almost laughed. “I was aiming for your chest.”
“I know. You didn’t deserve my baggage, and I’m sorry you got caught up in it. I thought I was doing the right thing. I told myself I was ready to fall in love again.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to try to explain.”
“He has to, we want to hear!” Brody called out.
“I do, because it keeps sounding like I’m saying I can’t fall in love because of Catherine. That’s not it at all.”
“I have issues and you have issues. Together maybe we have too many issues,” she whispered.
He placed his hands around her waist, and her heart skipped a few beats. “I’m working through my issues, namely needing to have faith that I will never lose you. Your issues…like baseball, I can help you with.”
She frowned as he pulled a red jersey out of his back pocket. He held it up and turned it around. Her last name was stitched across the back. “We need a new first baseman.”
She fought her smile. “I may have to get a better coach.”
“You’ll never find a better one.”
“False. Pretty sure we can!” Austin interjected.
Emily tried not to laugh at his brother’s antics. “You did miss that ball I threw.”
He laughed, and her toes curled.
His gaze went from her eyes to her mouth, and he took a step closer, his voice dropping. “It might take a few days of one-on-one coaching. With no one else around.”
She almost smiled as a shiver stole through her, but she remembered the rest before she went in headfirst again. “I’m not going to do this without getting everything off my chest. I am who I am, and you need to know that. I’m not going to ever pretend to be who I think you need me to be. I’ve spent my whole life doing that. I will never be Catherine.
“I will never be your small-town, country girl. I like my spreadsheets, I like starting companies, I can’t throw a ball, and I hate mice. If I ever have a mouse in my house again, I will buy a hazmat suit. I like designer handbags, and Kate Spade ships internationally for a ten-dollar flat rate that I take advantage of on a regular basis. I like my imported SUV, and I’m never trading it in for a truck.”
…
Cooper smiled, but he didn’t want to offend her, he didn’t want her to think her fears were amusing, because she was laying it all out there. He’d made her think she would never be as good as Catherine, that he would never be able to love her as much. He’d rather never touch her again than have her think she wasn’t enough.
He walked closer, and she held up her hand, her gorgeous eyes filled with pain and heartache—that he’d caused. “I’m also…” Her voice cracked and tears spilled from her eyes and ripped through his heart. “I’m also a good person. I try to be a good person. I’m loyal. And I’m loving, and I will always try to take care of the people I love—”
“Stop it,” he choked. He didn’t need her standing there telling him she had good qualities, as though she had to advertise what he’d known all along. The crowd receded, and he stood close enough to Emily that no one could hear them anymore.
Everyone had scars. People were all the same in that they all carried war wounds. No one could get through life without them, especially not if you’d ever loved. He thought he’d be able to escape the pain that came with love if he just got out of the game, but he knew it wasn’t possible, and that wasn’t the kind of life he wanted to live. He wanted to live fully, completely in the game. He wanted to be all in…with Emily. He had realized he was strong enough to bear whatever the world had coming for him. Whatever their future, he wanted to face it with Emily.
Because maybe, when illness or death came knocking, there needed to be more than skin-deep beauty and lust. To the outside world, to strangers, his wife may have lost her beauty at the end. She may have just been a shell of the woman she once was, but to him she had been beautiful. When he’d looked at her, on her hardest days, on her sickest days, he’d seen the girl he’d fallen in love with. Beneath her tired, dark-circled eyes, he still saw the vibrant, sparkling ones. He still saw the carefree smile, he still heard the unencumbered laugh, when it was too damn painful for her to even fake a laugh anymore. He was a man who knew that all that superficial shit people spent time worrying about meant nothing in the face of death. It was love and kindness; that was all that mattered in the end.
He took that last step to Emily and framed her gorgeous face with his hands, desperately grasping for that faith he’d abandoned five years ago, because he knew he’d do anything to keep this woman in his life. “You have nothing to prove to me, but I have everything to prove to you. I knew the second you walked into Callie’s coffee shop, looking out of your element but incredibly beautiful, that there was something about you.
“I avoided all those feelings for as long as I could, but hell, there was no way I could deny that I was falling hard for you, Emily. You blew me away—your plans, your drive, but most of all, it was your incredible heart. You give and you give, and I want to be the man who stands by your side and gives to you. I want you to know every damn day how much I appreciate the person you are. You are more than good enough. You will always be more than I deserve, and this was never about Catherine in the way you think.
“When she died, I didn’t know what hit me. While she was sick I was just going day by day, being the husband she needed me to be, to be strong for her when she had no strength, to be her voice with the doctors when she didn’t have a voice anymore. It scared the shit out of me, and when she died it ripped me in two. It destroyed me. I swore, never again.
“So then you come along with your big dreams and big heart, and you had me questioning everything. You had me wanting to take that chance again, and I got scared because I pictured you…gone.” He squeezed his eyes shut against the sting of tears and looked at the ground. “I couldn’t,” he choked out, trying to keep it together to get the rest out and reach her. “I couldn’t.”
She took his face in her hands. “It’s okay. Besides, we have a contract, remember?”
He blinked and cleared his throat, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his notepad.
“How much more do you have in those jeans of yours?”
“I saved the best for last, but it’s not appropriate to share in public.”
She leaned her head forward until it was on his shoulder and laughed. He kissed the top of her head. “Well, maybe one day you can show me. Maybe you can add that to the contract.”
“Gladly.”
“We should also add in something about any rodent situations.”
“Naturally,” he said, still smiling.
“Do you have anythin
g else to add?”
His smile dipped. “How about that you promise to trust me? With everything. When you’re scared, or tired, or lonely. You let me be your rock. You let me walk beside you and hold you up when you need it.”
She nodded emphatically. “That goes for you, too.”
“Done.”
“It’s about time!” Austin yelled as everyone erupted into applause and cheers. He leaned down to whisper the rest, because he wasn’t done and had to be sure she understood.
“You have to know…for me, this is it. You are it. I love you. I love you like I didn’t know I could love, and I swear to God, I want so badly to believe, to have that hope you’re filled with. But if I dared to believe in all of it, then I’d wish for a lifetime with you, Emily. I’d wish for babies, and I’d wish for all the crazy that goes with it. I will gladly deal with any rodent issues we ever have, for as long as I live.”
He leaned down to finally kiss her, to finally promise what was in his heart.
She pulled back slightly, only to smile up at him. “I love you,” she whispered.
Epilogue
Emily stood on the porch of The Maple Hill House for Women and Children and closed her eyes, the warm spring air filling her lungs and her soul with peace. She let the screen door bounce lightly against the frame, letting the excited chatter of women—her friends—slowly recede into the background. She took a sip of her cold peach Perrier and savored this moment. She knew Morgan, Noel, and Callie were busy getting ready for the wedding. The house wasn’t officially open yet, but it was already making a difference. Tracy, the sweet young woman she’d met that night in the ER, had moved in along with her kids, and Noel was helping her reclaim her life. Noel had become an invaluable asset and friend and had moved in as a full-time counselor. Morgan was doing well and graduating soon.
The sound of footsteps along the walkway made her turn, her heart in her throat, tension filling her body, not wanting anything to ruin this day for her.
She closed the silk edges of her robe with her fingers as a man approached. “Emily Birmingham?” he asked as he stepped onto the porch.
She nodded. “Yes?”
“Registered mail for you. Please sign here.” Emily took the pen from the man’s outstretched hand and quickly signed the form. She accepted the large envelope and mumbled a “thank you” as he walked away.
She flipped the envelope over, and her stomach twisted as she recognized the name and address of her family’s attorney. What could they want? Was this something she really needed to deal with on her wedding day? Or maybe she did, so she didn’t think about it today. She wanted to walk down the aisle free of her past, free of anger, not with the contents of this letter tucked away in the corner of her mind. If only Cooper were here.
She walked to the steps and sat down, placing her water beside her. Staring out at the river in the distance, she opened the envelope. Just get it over with. She reached inside, only to find another envelope. It was in her father’s handwriting.
She squeezed her eyes shut. Not today. This entire year had been about letting go, about finding a way to love her father’s memory despite his betrayal. Why, of all days, would this letter arrive today?
Emily stared at the envelope, at her father’s handwriting, but didn’t make a move to open it; she couldn’t. Her hands trembled, and she didn’t know if she was prepared to open her heart to him again. This year she had been on a path to finding out the truth about herself and her role in her family. She had gone down a road that she never imagined herself on. She had decided to let go of entitlement and bitterness. She didn’t ever want to go back to her old self. She didn’t want the contents of this letter to take her back there. She would never understand how her father did what he did, but she was trying to accept that and move on.
She took a deep breath and looked out onto the ravine filled with trees, their vibrant shades of green and the dense leaves almost plush enough that she wanted to grab a handful and hold onto a season that had served her so well up until now.
If she could have named a season, she would have named it the season of Cooper. He treated her like she was the most important, most special person in the world. He’d helped her find who she really was, and in turn, she’d helped him live again.
She took a deep breath and pulled out the two papers inside. Somehow, maybe it was easier to receive this letter now that she had Cooper, now that they had their whole lives together ahead. She knew that whatever the contents, Cooper would be there for her.
She forced her gaze to the paper, tears immediately blurring her vision at the sight of her father’s handwriting. It was dated the day before his heart attack. The writing was shaky, but it was undeniably his.
My sweet Emily,
I’m writing this to you from my hospital bed, and I pray to God that I make it out of here, but in case I don’t, there are things I need to tell you. Feelings that I was never able to voice because I didn’t know how.
I know you are probably very angry with me right now. I know you think that I’ve betrayed you, but you are wrong. You worked beside me day in and day out. You were my little companion, my little angel, and you brightened up every one of my days with your sweet smiles.
I know what life was like at home, and I did my best to change things, but because life is complicated and marriage is hard, I didn’t do enough to protect you.
I didn’t give you the company because I wanted more for you. I wanted you to leave. I wanted you to go to Maple Hill and find a new way of life and meet new people and hopefully fall in love with a man worthy of you. I didn’t want you living here, spending the rest of your life competing with your brother, trying to gain everyone’s approval, and wasting the best years of your life on bitterness. You are capable of so much more.
I didn’t make the stipulation about the financial inheritance upon marriage to belittle you. I did it because you are far too special to spend the rest of your life alone. You need a soul mate, Emily. You need more than business, more than approval from your family.
I hope this letter finds you well on your way to living the life you so deserve.
One of my biggest regrets was not making up with your grandmother. I wanted you to have her house because you are so much like her. Grandma Julia was a force to be reckoned with. She was smart and stubborn and powerful. Very much like you. I hope her house serves you well and brings you good fortune. To secure your future, enclosed you will find a cheque that you deserve for your loyalty and your hard work. I know that you will use it wisely for whatever business venture you embark upon.
And I hope you understand, now, that I didn’t think less of you because you were a girl. How far from the truth. You were more than I could have ever hoped for. I love you dearly.
Go and live,
Daddy
By the time she was done reading, she openly wept with the relief of knowing she hadn’t been wrong about her father for her entire life. He had valued her. He had just wanted more for her. He knew what she needed, and he was right. But she wept with the intense sense of loss. It was as though she was grieving his death all over again, except with guilt, because the first time, she’d thought he’d betrayed her. Now, it was like agony, knowing she had been angry with him for so long. What a gift to receive this today of all days.
She squeezed her eyes shut and saw her father. Not all the things he hadn’t done, or all the ways he hadn’t been perfect, but she saw him for the man he was—the man who’d loved his daughter in the best way he could. And that was enough. What she wouldn’t give right this moment to have him stand in front of her. She would have shown him the house. She would have explained her plans, the future she was building here. And she would have introduced him to Cooper, and he would have loved him.
She looked at the cheque and let out a long breath. The future of this house would be secure. These women and children and all the other ones that would one day fill the place would have the funding they needed to st
art a new life.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
Emily gasped and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes as Cooper sat beside her. She was going to yell at him for seeing her before the wedding, but one look at the concern on his handsome face, and she threw herself at him. He caught her better than he caught any baseball and held on tight. “I got this letter,” she managed to whisper, handing it to him, but holding onto the cheque.
He frowned, taking it from her and reading. After a minute he looked up, his own blue eyes filled with moisture. He took her hand and kissed her palm. “I’m happy for you. So damn happy for you. I always thought you deserved more.”
He leaned forward and kissed her, and soon his hands were tangling in her hair, but then she remembered what day this was and pulled back. “You’re not supposed to be here,” she whispered against his mouth.
“I know, but I’m not much for superstition, and I needed to see you.”
Who could argue with that logic? “Everything okay?”
He nodded. “I just wanted to make sure you knew…before you walk down that aisle, how much I love you. That this, what we have is special and unique, and you are the most important person in the world to me.”
She squeezed his hand. “I know. I know this must be hard—”
He cut her off. “It’s not. It’s not hard for me. Starting a life with you, loving you, that is not hard. I just want you to know that. You were meant to come here, to Maple Hill. We were meant to be together. You pulled me out of my hiding place, and you made me strong again, and I will be strong for you, I will be here to pick you up, to be your shoulder, to be whatever you need me to be. You made me take risks again. I’d do it all, I’d risk it all, for however long we have together. You are worth it.”
She threw her arms around his neck again and held onto the man that had given her everything.
He pulled back slightly and reached for something in his back pocket. She stared with puzzlement at the folded-up notepaper. “I thought I owed it to you to put it in writing.”
The Boyfriend Contract Page 25
