The Sweet Road Home

by Jacki Kelly

  “Well, I’m not so sure I’d count Simeon as one of my successes. We’re just enjoying each other’s company for now. We’re not serious, no commitment.” Asa turned away from her sister. Being away from him for a week magnified the gap between them. “Dakota, how was your dinner with Brian?”

  “Don’t start with me, Asa. It was just dinner. Save me any sermons.”

  “Fine. I won’t say a word.” Asa crossed her arms under her breasts. “Let’s eat while we’re waiting on the pie. I’m hungry.”

  “Pie and lasagna, now that’s a meal that would make Mom cringe.” Dakota sipped her wine.

  “I decided to cook my favorites. I started to make a big dish of macaroni and cheese too. But my thighs are getting thick and I didn’t need all that pasta.” Asa grimaced. “Thank you for celebrating with me. Simeon is working to save the house; the shop opens in a month. I’ve hired an assistant.” Asa raised her glass again.

  “Here, here.” Dakota tipped her glass toward her sister’s. “So it’s final...the house isn’t being torn down?”

  “Well, it’s not for certain,” Asa hesitated. “But Simeon believes the other parcel of land will work for the mall.”

  “What if it doesn’t?”

  “Then I’ll move. As much as I love this place it’s...” Asa hesitated.

  “Oh, boy.” Dakota dropped her head in the palm of her hand.

  Asa placed a large piping hot square of lasagna on the center of the plate and handed it to her sister.

  “Oh, Dakota, relax. I’m a big girl. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll be fine. I promise I won’t break down and cry in my soup.” She shrugged her shoulder. “It’s just this house is filled with happy memories.”

  “Are you kidding me? Happy times?” Dakota raised her brow.

  “Yeah, why?” Asa focused her attention on her sister.

  “Never mind. Just forget it.”

  “What? What is it?” Dakota frowned. “What are you keeping from me?” Asa asked.

  “It’s just that I have different memories of this house, that’s all.”

  “Like what?”

  “First, it’s those block parties you thought were so great. We were always begging other people to bring food. We couldn’t throw the party on our own. I thought it was embarrassing and so did Dad.”

  “Back then neighbors came together and helped each other. That was the best part of the whole day.”

  “Well, Mim and Pepa may have thought so, but Dad sure hated it. He and Mom argued about them all the time,” Dakota said.

  “That’s not true.”

  “He called the house a money pit,” Dakota continued. “That last summer he finally convinced Mom to put it on the market.”

  “To sell it? But why?” The room was quiet for a moment. Asa’s skin began to tingle. “What?”

  “They were talking about divorce.”

  Asa clasped her hands at her chest. “Oh, Dakota, you’re suspicious of everything. Mom and Dad would never get a divorce. They loved each other.”

  Dakota cleared her throat. “It’s true.”

  Asa searched the small kitchen, looking for something solid to focus on. She saw the cookie jar with the painted brown gingerbread man that smiled back at her. She refused to look at her sister until her breathing slowed. “But what about Mim? Where...”

  Dakota stood behind her. She rubbed Asa shoulders as if the massage would make the words more palatable. “Mim was going to move with Mom. They didn’t want to worry you since you were in school. Mom knew your marriage was in trouble. She didn’t want to tell you until she knew for certain what they were going to do.”

  Asa couldn’t form any words. She picked up the fork. The sterling silver was heavy in her palm. It fell to the table with a loud thud. Her stomach tightened as she slumped against the back of the chair and shifted her gaze. This couldn’t be true. How could something this important be happening in her family without her knowledge?

  She pushed her plate away. “Why didn’t anyone tell me? Didn’t you think it was important for me to know? Even when I came back for the funeral, you could have said something then.”

  “What would have been the use? They died before making a final decision. No one will ever know if they were able to patch up their relationship or not. It was easier to mourn them believing they were happy together and still in love. You know how Pepa and Mim were. They never talked about unhappy or unpleasant things.”

  “But this was too important to sugar coat. I feel like I’ve been living with a different family for the last several years, thinking my marriage caused the friction between me and Mom. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe her comments and reaction were more to do with her marriage, not mine. How many other secrets are just waiting to be dug up around here?” Asa glared at her sister.

  Dakota placed her plate in the sink. “Mom was never angry at you for marrying. She just didn’t want you to make the same mistakes she made. Marrying young. Struggling to make ends meet. Having her children so early.” She turned on the water before continuing, “When Mom found out Dad had a mistress—”

  “Whoa.” Asa squeeze her eyes tight. Her arms hung at her side. She couldn’t muster the strength to place them in her lap. “Mistress? What the hell are you saying, Dakota? Not our father. You can’t be serious.” Asa gasped for air. She willed her hands to stop trembling. “Who? What’s her name?”

  “We have no idea. It’s not like Mom and Dad shared all that with us.”

  Ice dropped from the icemaker. The oven timer rang. Asa couldn’t move. Her sister continued to stare at her as she took several deep breaths. The quiet that settled over the room was a relief. It allowed her to think. She remembered her mother’s words “Honey, I just want so much more for you.” Her mother told her that a dozen times.

  “Are you upset with me for not telling you sooner?” asked Dakota.

  “Hell, yeah. How could everyone keep that from me? What was the purpose?” Asa demanded.

  “We weren’t trying to keep it from you. It was just easier not to talk about it. This place already felt like a morgue, you were the only cheerful note around here.” Dakota turned off the water and faced her sister.

  Asa shook her head. “Simeon thinks his family was dysfunctional. It seems every family has a little dysfunction. At least he knew what he was working with.” She placed her hands in her lap. “I guess I didn’t make it easy for Mom to talk to me. I was always so defensive. Do you know how hard it is to admit it when your marriage is in trouble?”

  “I think it’s easier to walk across burning sands.” A tear rolled down her sister’s face.

  This was supposed to be a happy night, a joyous occasion. But the revelations hardly qualified as celebration. The solid ground Asa expected to have at home seemed to be crumbling under her feet.

  “Some celebration this turned out to be.” Dakota leaned against the counter. “Well for sure, love affairs look different for the people in them.” She dried her hands on the paper towel and faced her sister. “Now what? Everything is different. Who knows? Everything I thought was true just got turned upside down in one night.” Asa pushed away from the table.

  The oven timer rang again. Asa padded across the tile floor and pulled open the door. The edges of the pie bubbled, the sticky syrup streamed over the crust. “Who’s ready for dessert?” She shoved the pie on the back of the stove and threw the potholder in the sink.

  Concern dotted her sister’s eyes. Asa waved her hand. “I’ll be okay. Stop worrying. Did you check their room to look for any indication of what they planned to do?”

  Dakota exchanged looks with her without replying. “Well, did you?” Asa asked again. “We boxed up a couple of their drawers—” Dakota stopped for a moment. “But we never checked those boxes in the bottom of the closet,” Dakota finished.

  Asa ran out of the kitchen. She scaled the stairs two at a time with the dog right behind her.

  “What do you expect to find?” Dakota followed her u
p the steps.

  “Something. Anything that will tell me what was going on.” Asa turned the knob and stepped into her parents’ bedroom.

  With Dakota by her side, Asa dragged a box out of the closet. She took a deep breath before peeling back the flaps. Together they pulled out old birthday and Father’s Day cards, Asa’s baby book, a few old report cards, and an assortment of pictures of their parents.

  Asa sat back, resting on her heels. She ran her fingers through her curls as she looked around for something more.

  “What did you expect to find?” Dakota asked.

  “I don’t know.” She hunched her shoulders. “A journal, an appointment book with rendezvous dates or a business card from an attorney. Something.”

  “You’re pretty good at this, huh?”

  “I had a cheating husband.”

  “You know Mim and Pepe could have sanitized this room after the accident.”

  “Why would they do that?” Asa asked.

  “To protect us.”

  § § §

  After her sister left, Asa stretched out on the living room sofa. The dog jumped up next to her and laid his head in her lap. Emptiness settled around her.

  The house was quiet. The dog’s fur felt soft against her hand. The fog she thought she left behind in Atlanta, clouded her thoughts. It was time for her to face the truth. After the secrets revealed tonight, she needed to examine the secrets she refused to face; her relationship with Simeon. She wanted a commitment; he wanted to focus on his business. Love had betrayed her before, she couldn’t let that happen again. She couldn’t waste another minute hoping for the impossible.

  Scruffy lifted his head. His ears stood straight up, he charged off the sofa and barked at the door.

  Asa didn’t bother looking through the side panel. She opened the door for Simeon.

  “I missed you.” He gathered her in his arms and kissed her, devouring her tongue like a hungry man. She wrapped her arms around his waist. Her body pressed against him. God, she was going to miss him.

  When he released her, she said, “I missed you too. It seems like we’ve been apart for weeks.”

  She led him into the living room. “Why the sad look? I thought you said your trip was good?” He pulled her into his lap.

  She nuzzled under his chin to enjoy his warmth. “The trip was fine. It’s family drama.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” She laid her head on his shoulder. After a heavy sigh, she recounted the conversation that she had with her sister.

  “Wow, that’s heavy,” he replied when she finished.

  It’s almost as if I’ve lived my whole life under false pretenses. I thought we were this happily ever after family and we’ve got secrets buried in our closet just like everyone else. I don’t understand how I could have been so blind.”

  “Believe me, you were better off not knowing. Your family cared enough about you to shield you from the ugly side. It didn’t form the person you are today.”

  She pulled away from. “But it did. Instead of looking at life in a true way, I’m always looking for the bright side. The optimistic view, thinking all people are good and will do the right thing. But life doesn’t always work that way. I know that now.”

  She placed her head back on his shoulder and ran her hand over his chest. His tight muscles felt like steel. He reclined and rested his head against the back of the couch. His breathing was slow and even. Her love for him curled around her heart, moistened her core, and made her tingle all over. Her body reacted this way whenever she thought about him. But her feelings weren’t reciprocated. No other man had ever made her feel so helplessly giddy. But staying around until the fire in Simeon’s eyes died out and he moved on to his next conquest would destroy her. Maybe what she wanted didn’t exist, but she refused to settle or live another lie. Even her parents’ marital happiness turned out to be a façade.

  The sooner she accepted the truth, the sooner life could move forward. Her truth was tonight. Her longing for him would last a lifetime, but she’d find a way to manage. Just like she’d done when her parents died. She hoped Mim was right when she said, “Time heals all wounds.”

  His warm hands pushed her dress above her thighs. She spread her legs, allowing his hand to rest between her thighs. The warmth from his hand mushroomed through her core, across her breasts, and down her spine. She whimpered with pleasure. He kissed the hollow of her neck. She released his shirt from his pants and pressed her palm on his chest. The pulse of his heart echoed against her hand like a drum. Leaving him would be the hardest thing she ever did. But she couldn’t allow her feelings for him to swallow her or push her down a dead-end road.

  She found his mouth and wrapped her tongue around his. With her tongue she traced his lips then she pulled gently on his bottom lip. Her breathing came in short gasps that she couldn’t control. She wanted to fill all her senses with his essence.

  “Stand up,” he whispered. His voice was so hoarse she barely heard him.

  He lifted her off the couch and tugged her thong down her legs. He ran his hands along her legs under her dress, stopping long enough to knead the back of her thighs. His head was buried against her stomach.

  “Where’s the light?” his voice was husky. “Why?”

  “I want to see you. I’ve been making love to you in my head since high school. I want to see everything from now on.”

  She turned on the table lamp without moving away from him.

  He slipped his finger inside of her shooting off a shiver that flared across her body. She pushed the apprehension away and pulled her dress over her head and dropped it on the floor. The muscles in her legs tightened to keep her upright. Each kiss he planted down the length of her body heightened her desire. By the time his tongue found her core, she couldn’t hold her hips still. Her body came alive with each thrust. Each stroke of his tongue sent a wave of ecstasy over her body. Nothing else mattered—not her job, not the house, not the uncertainty of tomorrow.

  “I want you, Simeon.” He laid her down on the couch and held her gaze while he peeled off his clothes. After removing a condom from his wallet and slipping it on, he entered her with such force she arched off the couch. He remained motionless for several moments with the thickness of his shaft throbbing inside of her. She wrapped her legs around his back, enticing him to pick up the tempo, but his thrust remained slow and controlled. He pushed deeper with each movement. She couldn’t fight her feelings another moment. As the last wave of ecstasy washed through her, she cried out his name and held on to him. He stiffened as his lunges came faster. He threw his head back and in a strangled voice he called out her name before collapsing on top of her.

  After years of yearning and wishing, she had what she wanted. But it wasn’t hers to keep. This was the danger zone and she needed to get out while she still could.

  § § §

  Simeon sat up in the bed. Asa’s shallow breathing echoed in the room. No matter the outcome he had to tell her. He promised to be honest and he always kept his word. She felt so soft.

  “Do you always wake up so early?” she asked

  “I just want to spend as much time with you as I can. I enjoy you more when I’m awake.” He chuckled. “You haven’t asked me about the house. I expected you to pounce on me as soon as I walked in the door last night.” Simeon ran his finger from her jaw along her golden shoulder.

  “Yeah, after the conversation with Dakota yesterday, I’m not so sure I want to stay here. The house seems secondary.” She hunched her shoulder. “It’s like finding a treasure, the one you thought you couldn’t live without only to open it and find it empty.” There wasn’t a twinkle in her eye. “So you have news?”

  “The strip mall will be built on the west side, near Sellers Point.”

  “So Golden Leaf is going to be okay?” She pushed up on her elbow.

  “Let me finish. The planned community with the center can’t be built on the parcel of land that we planned. The only available parce
l that works is Golden Leaf. We have to build it here. If we don’t it could be years on the drawing board.”

  Asa fell back against the bed.

  “There are hundreds of people that need that center. I hope you understand.”

  She stared at the ceiling without blinking.

  “Aren’t you going to say anything? Aren’t you going to go ballistic and swat me?”

  She was quiet for another minute. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes.

  “I know that’s not what you wanted to hear. But we don’t have any other choices.” His thumb swiped the tear away.

  “It’s okay. I understand,” she said.

  “We’ll find you another place to live. A glorious house, even if I have to build it myself.” He paused, adjusted his position. “One night I made a promise to my mother. I promised I’d build a place for low-income families to live. A place they could be proud to call home. When we started putting this project together, countless people told me how much the city needed this community center.

  “You know, your news didn’t knock me off balance as much as I thought it would. My sister’s news already did that.” She shook her head. Her curls covered her eyes. “It’s okay. After last night...hearing about my parents’ relationship, it made me realize it’s not about the house.” She looked around the room. “Maybe it never was. What I’m looking for is...it won’t be found in an old five bedroom house.”

  Simeon brushed her hair away to see her eyes. He searched her face. “Then why are you crying?”

  She sat up. The morning sun fell across her breasts. She placed her hands in her laps without looking at him. Something was different. The air in the room stood still. Even the dog was quiet at the foot of the bed.

  “Simeon…” She paused. “I don’t think this is going to work. You and I.”

  “Since when?” He sat up beside her in bed. “Is this about the house?”

  She wrung her hands. “No. It’s not the house. It’s everything else.” She spread her arms, encompassing the room.

  “What’s everything?”