Only One Chance (Only One Series 2)

by Natasha Madison

  I get into my car and make my way over to her house. My mind replays everything in my head. She married another man. I can’t wrap my head around it. I can’t imagine her married to that man. A man who treated her like that, who didn’t cherish her. Who wasn’t proud to have her standing beside him. I pull up on her street and see her park her car. She gets out with her head down and her shoulders shaking. She stops right next to her car, and I see that she almost falls. But she catches herself and holds the wall on her way in.

  I watch as she closes the door behind her, and then I leave. My mind numbs as I get back home and walk into the house. I walk to the fridge, opening it and then closing it. Walking back to my bedroom, I stop in the doorway, and if I close my eyes, I can still smell her. I walk over to the bed and grab the note she left on there. I sit on the bed, unfolding the white paper and seeing her handwriting.

  Miller,

  Welcome home, and just so you know, I missed you. And your little friend, too.

  P.S. It’s not that little.

  I laugh and then cry, tears coming down my face as I open the drawer beside the bed that holds all her other notes. I softly close the drawer and then lie back on the bed, but I can’t stay in here. I feel her all around me. I get up, grabbing her pillow, and walk out to the spare bedroom. I kick off my shoes and fall onto the bed.

  “I love you,” I say out loud to the walls, hugging her pillow in my arms. My chest aches as I close my eyes and see her stumbling out of her car. I wonder if she’s okay. I wonder if she ate something. I wonder if it hurts her as much as it’s hurting me.

  The night is the worst when I reach out for her, thinking she’s there only to come up empty-handed. When I walk into the arena the next day, Ralph takes one look at me, and I just shake my head. He nods at me, and I want to know if he spoke to her. I want to ask him if she’s okay. But I don’t. I sit on the bench and look ahead as people get dressed to go on the ice.

  He waits for us to be alone before he looks over at me. “You didn’t have to come in today.” His voice is soft.

  “What else was I supposed to do? Stay in my fucking house that I want to burn down?” I look at him. “Is she okay?”

  He shakes his head. “Candace went over there last night,” he tells me. “I know how you feel.” He should. Last year, Candace took off on him only to come back, and he refused to let go of her.

  I grab a bottle of water from the table in the middle of the room. I take a sip. “Yeah, well, it was too good to be true.” I taste the bitterness in my words as I get up. “Better sooner than later.”

  “You going to be okay?” he asks, and I take a sip of the water. The truthful answer is no. I don’t think I will ever be okay. “I’m here if you need anything,” he says, getting up and grabbing his helmet.

  “Thanks,” I tell him, and all I do is sit here. I watch people come and go, and I don’t move. I get up only after Ralph comes back into the room. Sweat pours down his face, and he just looks at me.

  “Have you been sitting there the whole time?” he asks, and only then do I stand.

  “Yeah, I’m going to head out,” I tell him. “See you tomorrow.”

  “You still coming?” he asks, shocked now.

  “It’s the team Christmas party,” I tell him. “Of course, I’m coming.” I don’t tell him that I won’t stay long, or that I was going to attend with Layla on my arm.

  “Okay, I’ll see you then,” he says, and I make my way home. I shower in the spare bedroom and even sleep in the bed.

  The next day, I force myself to get up and get ready. I slip on my black suit jacket and look at myself in the mirror. The team Christmas party is the place where we let loose and just have a great time with each other. It’s always a blast, and I was looking forward to attending it with Layla. I shake my head. Grabbing my phone, I put it in my inside pocket and make my way over to the arena. I arrive at the same time as Ralph and Candace.

  “Hey,” I say, pressing the button to lock the car door. “Look at you two.” I smile at them. “Parents gone wild.”

  Candace smiles at me. “It took a lot to get my ass out of sweats tonight,” she jokes.

  “Who is watching Princess Ari?” I ask. They both look down, and my heart sinks.

  “Auntie Layla needed some cheering up, so …” she says, looking at me and then down again. I see that she wants to say something, but instead, she blinks away the tears. “Miller,” she says my name, and I shake my head. I try not to be affected by the fact that she needed cheering up. I try not to think of her at all. But every single time I force myself not to think of her, the only thing I can think about is her stumbling. Fuck, I should have gone to her. I shake my head. She doesn’t want me.

  “It’s fine,” I tell him, putting my hands in my pockets and ignoring the pain in my chest. “It’ll be fine. Now let’s get in there,” I say, pulling open the door and seeing a winter wonderland theme. “It looks like Frosty the snowman barfed all over the place,” I say, laughing, and I look around. “I’ll catch you later,” I say, walking away from them. I don’t want them to look at me with pity. I walk over and see some of the rookies with girls. I nod at them and walk away but then am called back by one of the girls.

  “Hey, can we get a quick picture?” one of them asks, and I want to say no. But I smile and nod my head, putting my hands in my pockets and trying to stand as far away from her as I can. She thanks me, and I just walk away, running into Manning.

  “Hey,” he says. “Where’s Layla?” I look down at the floor and then up again. “Oh, shit.”

  He slaps me on the shoulder. “I’m so sorry, man. I didn’t know. But …” I’m sure he wants to ask when this happened, and I just shake my head.

  “It’s all good. It is what it is,” I tell him, trying to ignore the pain from my chest. Fuck, this is going to be harder than I thought. This whole getting over her is going to be rough. “How do you do it?”

  “Do what?” he asks, looking around.

  “How did you stop loving her?” I motion with my head to his wife.

  “The question you should be asking me,” he says, “is when did I realize I was in love with her. The answer to that is never.” He shakes his head. “I don’t think I ever loved her. Liked her, sure, I’ll give her that. But love?” He shakes his head. “Never.” I look at the floor and then up again. “Shit, she’s coming this way.”

  “There you are, sweetheart,” she says sweetly and slips her arm in his. “I was looking for you.”

  “Where the hell do you think I’m going to go?” he says and tries to get away from her.

  “I’ll see you guys later,” I say and make my way around, saying hello to everyone I need to say hello to. We sit down and eat, and as soon as the plates are cleared, I make my way out.

  Being here is more than I can handle. I make my way home and stop in the middle of the driveway when I see two cars parked there, and I walk into the house and stop when I hear the soft Christmas music. “Shit,” I say, walking into the great room.

  “Hey,” the interior decorator, Judy, says, “we are almost finished here.” I look around and see that they transformed the great room into a Christmas wonderland. The tree stand in the corner almost touches the ten-foot ceilings. There are little trees everywhere with lights on them. The fireplace has a garland handing on it with an “Our First Christmas” frame that I told her to put up. Three white socks hang on the fireplace with fake candles flickering around.

  I was going to surprise Layla with the tree when we got home tonight. I was also going to ask her to spend Christmas with me and meet my family.

  “That’s fine,” I say, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “Take all the time you need. Close up when you leave,” I say, heading back to my bedroom and slipping out of my suit. My phone falls out of my pocket, and I look down to see Layla staring back at me. I pick up the phone and rub my finger across the screen.

  I take one more look at it and then erase it, replacing my sc
reen saver with the team logo. “It’ll be better tomorrow,” I tell myself. “It’ll be all better tomorrow.”

  After I slip quietly out of my bedroom, I enter the spare bedroom again. Tomorrow, I’ll go back to my old life. I lie on the bed, and I have this feeling of emptiness all around me. I feel lost. I feel empty. I feel pain. I feel numb. I feel all of it, and I know that all it will take is one look at her, and my world will be full again.

  Closing my eyes, I turn on my side and hug her pillow. “One more night,” I say to the darkness. “One more night.” I close my eyes and get lost in all the memories of her.

  Chapter 33

  Layla

  “Merry Christmas,” I say when Grandma Nancy opens the door. She claps her hands, and the bells that she is wearing around her wrist make noise. “Oh my,” I say, seeing the reindeer headband she is wearing. “It’s all Christmas up in here.”

  “Come in.” She pulls me in by the wrist. “What are all those presents?” She points at my hand.

  “It’s Christmas, silly,” I tell her, going over to her tree and placing them under it. She’s had this tree since I was a little girl. The colored lights always made me feel like it was home. Some of the ornaments hanging are the ones I made in school. “Did you lose more weight?” she asks me after I shrug off my jacket. I look down at my outfit of jeans and a bulky sweater, hoping that it would have hidden the fact that I did lose some more weight.

  “I’ve been super busy,” I lie to her. It’s been almost a month since I last saw Miller face-to-face and had my heart broken. I keep hoping that every day will be better, and I have to be the one to admit it’s not getting any easier. In fact, it’s getting harder. Of course, it doesn’t help that he is having the season of his life, and I have to talk about him daily. I watch the games alone, curled up on my couch. I fall asleep to images of him only to wake with my pillow soaked with tears.

  “You have to make time for yourself,” she says and just looks at me, and I nod.

  “What time is this party?” I ask, changing the subject. Every single year, I join her and her friends. The whole seniors’ home gather in the main dining room with all their families. Everyone brings a dish, so it’s a potluck. Last year, we had over two hundred people, yet we had food for four hundred.

  “I’m just putting the finishing touches on the brownies,” she says, walking to the kitchen.

  “Grandma,” I tell her.

  “Not those types of brownies,” she says. “I don’t share those brownies with anyone.” She winks at me.

  I watch her put her homemade chocolate frosting on with red sprinkles. “Now, let’s get to the party.” She points over at the five aluminum platters on the table. “Can you bring those?”

  “Sure,” I say and then pick it up. We walk down the hallway and come to the common dining room that is also a game room and where they watch movies. It’s now transformed with tables all along the wall for the food, and then round tables are set up all around with chairs. The middle of the room is left open for the dancing that is surely going to come. I follow Grandma to the table, and she points at the other table, so I walk over and put down the trays. I look around, seeing that the whole place looks so festive.

  “Every year, I just get more blown away.” I hear my grandmother say and watch her look around the room. “I have to scope out who is going to be getting a special Christmas present.” She smiles at a couple of the guys who are around her. “Oh, I see a good one under the mistletoe.” I look at the direction she is looking at.

  “There is no mistletoe,” I tell her, folding my arms over my chest.

  She pulls one out of her pocket. “When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.” She winks at me and walks away. I see her catch the guy who looks like a deer in the headlights, and then she just lays one on him. “Merry Christmas,” she tells him, then comes back over to me. “That should get his motors going.”

  I shake my head, and five minutes later, the room is filled with people. We get in line to grab our meal, and I wish I could say I felt festive, but I don’t. I grab the turkey and stuffing and a biscuit, following Grandma over to a table. We sit with her friends as they tell stories about how everything has changed. I eat until I’m stuffed and get up to go get some pie. When I get back to the table, the music starts to play, and I see her friends getting up to go bust a move.

  “Are you having a good time?” Grandma asks, sitting back in her chair.

  “You know I always have a good time with you,” I say, smiling.

  “Have you spoken to Miller?” she asks me, and I shake my head and blink away the tears that have struggled to stay inside all day. “Have you tried to call him?”

  “No,” I say the truth. “Grandma, he blocked me.”

  “You don’t know that for sure,” she tells me, and I look at her. “Okay, fine, I don’t know how those things work, but you can’t go on like this.” She puts her elbows on the table now. “You didn’t even take your divorce this bad.”

  I shrug. “I think it’s time for a change,” I tell her, and she just looks at me. “My contract is almost up, and I was thinking …” I say, looking out at the dance floor that is full of people with their families celebrating. Kids dressed in their best clothing, running around chasing each other with balloons. Sons dancing with their mothers, and fathers dancing with their daughters. “I’m going to talk to someone about transferring.” She doesn’t say anything to me.

  “Running away isn’t going to change anything,” she tells me, and now a tear does come out of my eye.

  “It’s been a month, Grandma, and my chest still hurts when I think about him. It’s been a month that I wake up in tears. I just need a fresh start. I need to not say his name every single day. I need to not have to watch him on the television and have my heart break because I can’t talk to him or see him.” I look down at my pie, grabbing a napkin. “It’s just too much for me.”

  “You think that if you move away, it’s going to be better?” she asks me. “You love him, baby girl. That love won’t go away.”

  “I know,” I admit. “But it might make it a little easier. Maybe.”

  “Well, wherever you go, I go,” she says, and I look at her, shocked. “You didn’t think I’d let you move away from me.”

  “Your life is here,” I tell her, looking around.

  She shrugs. “If we are being honest …” She looks around. “It’s slim pickings these days.”

  I laugh now for the first time in a long time. “Why haven’t you gone to him?”

  I shake my head. “You didn’t see the hurt in his eyes or the way he looked at me. Whatever he felt for me, it was gone the minute he found out I not only lied to him but I was also divorced..” I swallow. “He’s going to make a great husband,” I tell her, the words almost not coming out. “I have to give him the chance to get to that.”

  “Why don’t you give yourself one more chance?” she says to me. “Why don’t you go and fight for him?”

  My heart goes to my throat. “What if he doesn’t want me?” I shake my head. “I don’t think I can survive it twice.”

  “Baby girl,” she says. “The best love is the one fought for.”

  “That’s what Google says,” I tell her, laughing at the little joke that reminds me of Miller.

  “May I have this dance?” The man who Grandma kissed before comes over and holds out his hand for her.

  “If you play your cards right,” she says, putting her hand in his, “you can get more than a dance.” He smirks at her, and I just watch her spend the night dancing. I smile at the kids who bump into me and smile at the parents when they kiss their kids goodbye.

  I get up finally and walk over to kiss my grandmother. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” I tell her, and she hugs me.

  “Don’t give up,” she says, kissing my cheek. I walk back to her apartment to grab my jacket and make my way home. I unlock the door and shrug my jacket off. I undress, slipping into my jogging pants and
a large shirt. I grab my cover and cover myself on the couch. I just lie here watching the white lights on my tree twinkle.

  I didn’t want to put up a tree, but Granma Nancy came over while I was at work and transformed my house. I grab my phone, and my heart speeds up.

  “Here goes nothing,” I tell the universe, pulling up Miller’s name.

  Me: Merry Christmas, Miller.

  Chapter 34

  Miller

  Gorgeous: Merry Christmas, Miller.

  It’s been two days since I got that text. Seven days and I was tempted every single day to text her back. But I just couldn’t; my heart was telling me that I had to see her to say what I needed to say.

  “What are you doing in here?” my father asks, walking into the game room. My parents arrived this morning. The rest of my family is coming in tomorrow morning for the festivities leading up to the winter classic game. The whole town has spent the month preparing for this. I still don’t get how they are going to have ice for us to skate on in Dallas, but they said it’s going to happen. We will finally be able to skate on the ice tomorrow.

  “Just thinking,” I say, and he sits in front of me. This whole month has flown by, one day into the next, yet I felt stuck. I spent Christmas with my parents at their house since it was easy for everyone. I made an excuse to bail out early, landing on the twenty-fourth and leaving the twenty-fifth at night. I spent Christmas night lying on my couch watching the lights on the tree, wondering if she was all by herself or if she was out with friends or maybe even with Grandma Nancy.

  “Well, the way you are looking at that phone, it looks like bad news,” he says, sitting in front of me. “What’s up with you?” I look up at him. “Your mother says something is wrong with you, and I told her she was wrong.” He puts his foot on top of his other leg. “Seeing you now, I think she might be right.”