Succubus Lord 2

by Eric Vall

  “We really should not have left Todd in charge of organizing the trunk,” Sia said with a sigh as she put her hand to her face.

  “Aha!” the imp’s muffled voice arose from the clutter. “I found Quinn’s cowboy hat!”

  The imp pulled his front end out from the mountain of messiness and triumphantly held the white hat up into the air. He tried to push it down on top of his head, but his black horns stopped the head accessory in its tracks. Todd huffed, pushed harder, and then his horn and a half finally punched through the sides of the ten-gallon hat.

  “Howdy, partner.” The imp turned back and shot me a pair of finger guns.

  “Focus, Mr. Cowboy.” Cupiditas pointed back at the tailgate.

  “Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker.” He giggled and then turned around to rummage once more.

  “It’s strange,” Libidine commented. “I don’t even see any footprints or tire tracks on the ground.”

  “If there’s one thing I know about the Cult of Azazel, it’s that they are very good at covering their tracks,” Sia explained. “They’ve existed since Azazel was first banished to Earth eons ago, and yet their activities have never been discovered by any mortal men.”

  “At least, none who have lived to tell the tale.” Cupiditas nodded grimly.

  I placed a comforting hand on the blonde succubus’ shoulder. “There’s a first time for everything, remember? We kicked Earl’s ass and banished Azazel and his forces back to Hell. A few dudes in bad Halloween costumes aren’t going to be that much of a problem.”

  I felt a small tug on the right side of my robe, and I looked down to see Todd holding one of his books.

  “I finally found it, bro,” he sighed. “It was right between my old school Playboys and my cigarette-rolling machine.”

  “You have a cigarette-rolling machine?” I questioned as Todd began to leaf through the text.

  “It’s for when I go on a binge,” he explained. “I can only roll about a dozen by myself before my hands start getting tired. Now when I’m whacking--”

  “Do you have any idea what kind of spell we’re looking for, here?” I changed the subject. “I’m assuming a demon-worshiping cult wouldn’t use Vatican magic like at the Chapel of the Trinity.”

  “No,” Sia interjected, “but it would shock me if they had never developed a counter-curse to this sort of hex. We’ve been at peace for centuries, but there have been all sorts of espionage underneath the table.”

  “If that’s the case, then why was it such a big deal that Azazel entered the Chapel without a warrant?” I asked, now somewhat confused.

  “Because the fool had to go and make an interdimensional scene of the whole thing.” The tiny redhead rolled her eyes. “If you couldn’t tell, Azazel has quite a flair for the dramatic.”

  “So he could have entered the church even without the warrant?” I couldn’t believe my ears.

  “As long as he didn’t get caught,” Sia explained. “I told him he should have just sent another set of assassins in after the lot of you, but he didn’t listen.”

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this,” I chuckled, “but thank you, Azazel.”

  “So, the King of the Fourth Circle risked reigniting the war between Heaven and Hell just to prove a point?” Cupiditas asked, and her tone told me that she wasn’t even remotely convinced.

  “Cupiditas, Cupiditas.” The madame shook her head back and forth. “You know, for being both one of Heaven’s and Lucifer’s greatest warriors, you sure seem to not understand the inner workings of the demon mind.”

  The athletic blonde just crossed her arms at Sia’s words. “My entire life consists of two things, sister, fighting and fucking. If it isn’t related to one of those two, then I don’t really give a shit.”

  “Most demons, particularly the male ones, are egotistical to the core,” Sia explained. “I truly believe that Azazel would have cut you a deal before you decided to go and make it personal.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I held out my hands. “Are you telling me it was the dick jokes that set him off? Not the whole ‘murdering his pimp and assassins’ thing?”

  “The mind of a demon is a bizarre thing, Jacob.” The redhead looked up at me with her bright smile. “It takes but the simplest thing to set them off into a blind rage... although the girls were certainly telling the truth. Yours is much bigger.”

  “Well, at least I can take solace in that.” I laughed.

  “Why do ninety percent of our conversations come back to Jacob’s dick?” Todd interrupted. “I’ve got a massive demon schlong too, but you don’t hear me gushing about it. I leave that to the ladies.”

  Liby giggled. “Oh, if you’d ever seen it, you’d probably be gushing about it too.”

  “No homo, dudette.” Todd wagged his finger back and forth. “No like-o the sausage-o.”

  “You really need to work on your Spanish.” I chuckled to the imp. “Have you found anything yet?”

  “Ye have little faith, my friend.” Todd nodded. “I found something like five minutes ago, but you guys were too distracted talking about Jakey’s pork and beans.”

  “Never call them that.” Cupi made a disgusted face. “Never call them that ever again.”

  “Anywho, I found this generic spell for removing a demonic curse,” Todd explained as he pointed to a page in the book. “If those badass, robe-wearing cultists have put a spell on this place, then this should do the trick. Grab my hand, and repeat after me.”

  The five of us interlocked arms in a small circle, lowered our heads, and then Todd began the ritual.

  “Oh powers of the divine, hear our plea,” he mumbled in Latin. “Remove the curse placed upon this site by your enemies. Light the way in the darkness and show us the path to our destiny.”

  The four of us repeated the imp’s words, and we continued to chant until we were saying the incantation in a single, echoing voice.

  As we said the words, the world around us sprung back to life. I could hear the sound of a coyote howling off in the distance and the chirping of desert bugs ringing in my ears. Most importantly, I heard the dull hum of distant voices off to my right as they spoke in unison. Finally, we stopped, and I opened my eyes.

  Before us, along the side of the dirt road, sat a row of vehicles. I couldn’t see anybody inside of them, so I assumed they must have belonged to the cult members that were off in the forest.

  “Well waddya know?” Todd put his hands on his hips. “Cult members drive Priuses, too.”

  “I think we know where to find them now.” I nodded at my friends and then pointed to where the chanting was coming from. “Are you ready?”

  “James Todd was born ready.” The imp giggled as he turned invisible.

  “We’ll follow your lead, Jacob,” Sia added.

  “And if things go south, we’ll be ready to send these assholes to Hell to be with their master.” Cupiditas grinned.

  “Just remember Raphael's warning,” Liby reminded the group as we began to walk in the direction of the sound. “These men are going to be tougher than they look.”

  “If they all look like we do right now, that’s not very tough,” I joked and motioned to the robes on our bodies.

  “You have zero sense of fashion, bro,” Todd’s voice sadly said from my left side.

  As we continued toward the chanting of the cult, the terrain under our feet became more intense and rocky.

  The terrain of Tonto National Forest wasn’t exactly the first thing to come to mind when you hear the word “forest.” A large majority of the place was barren, with the occasional cactus or a cluster of bushes popping up from the landscape like clumps of matted fur on a sick animal. The setting sun illuminated the massive rocky cliffs that stood all around us, their cliffs dotted with wildflowers. Off in the distance, I could see a handful of desert trees that made up the “forest” part of Tonto.

  As the sun disappeared behind the horizon, a large fire stuck out like a sore thumb through the treeline.r />
  “Not very subtle, are they?” Cupi whispered.

  “Remember,” Liby reminded the blonde. “They still think their hex is shielding them.”

  “What is the plan, oh fearless leader?” Todd’s voice asked in the darkness.

  “Nothing too complicated, honestly.” I shrugged. “The girls and I will try to blend in and see what we can get out of the other cult members, and you go snoop around to see if you can find anything on your own. In and out with hopefully no blood spilled.”

  “What a shame,” Cupiditas said through gritted teeth. “I want to see every single person associated with Azazel burn.”

  “Now, Cupiditas,” the madame warned. “Remember what I taught you. Those who know when to walk away--”

  “Live to fight another day,” the blonde finished. “Yeah, yeah, I remember.”

  “Cupi is the sister with the most anger issues,” Libidine told me with a giggle. “It surprised all of us. Sister Ira was wrath after all.”

  “I do not have anger issues!” Cupi growled as she pointed her finger at Liby.

  “Shhh!” I hissed at the two girls. “Remember that this is supposed to be a stealth mission.”

  “Bro, I’ve seen you play Hitman before,” Todd pointed out. “If this ends up like any one of your ‘stealth’ missions on there, we’re going to have to kill the entire cult and anyone within a ten-mile radius.”

  “Quiet, or I’m going to make you dress up as a nurse,” I joked.

  “I don’t know Jakey, that might awaken some things in you,” Todd’s voice quipped. “And once that genie is out of the bottle, it ain’t going back in.”

  “There are plenty of incubi that we could bring in as part of the group,” Sia offered.

  “No homo, remember?” I chuckled and shook my head. “Now can we please, get back to the task at hand?”

  “Right,” Todd said from the darkness. “So you guys go in there all incognito, and I’ll run around and peek up the robes of all the women in the cult.”

  “That’s not--” I raised my hand.

  “Meep meep!” Todd cackled as a cloud of dust kicked up into the air, and the imp’s footprints sprinted toward the fire.

  “That little guy is lucky he’s so adorable,” Sia laughed, “or else I’d consider kicking him in the face. I always wanted an imp of my own, but Azazel would never allow it.”

  “Of course not.” I shrugged. “He seems like more of a cat person, anyways.”

  “He did have quite a few Wampus Cats during our heyday in the war,” Sia pondered. “But Cerebrus is still the only pet Lucifer allows in his dominion.”

  “The three-headed dog?” I asked. “That thing’s real?”

  “Oh, he’s a big softie once you get to know him.” Sia shrugged. “Give him a femur bone or two, and he’ll be your best friend.”

  “How are we going to sneak into there unnoticed?” Libidine asked and brought us back to the task at hand.

  “We’ll have to go around the back, wait until this ritual around the fire has stopped, and then try to slip in while the cult members are all spread out.”

  The four of us made our way around the line of trees, and the chanting grew louder as we approached the blazing fire. The flames rose at least two stories high and threatened to ignite the walnut trees that formed the canopy above. We were still about fifty feet away from the cult’s position, but I could now faintly feel the intense heat of the fire beating away at my skin.

  This must have been quite the ritual.

  I couldn’t make out exactly what the cult members were saying, but every now and again, I recognized a “devil” or “blood” come from their muttering. I guess four years’ worth of public university Latin courses were finally paying off.

  “What are they saying?” I whispered to the succubi. “My Latin’s a little rusty.”

  “They’re reciting the ancient Scapegoat Rite,” Sia explained. “It’s the ritual that sacrifices two goats, one to the Exalted One and another to Azazel. The ancient Hebrews used it as a way to wash away their sins, but Azazel’s followers see it as a way to make their master stronger.”

  As if right on cue, one of the cult members slowly walked in front of the roaring flames with two goats in tow. He swiftly unsheathed the goat-headed dagger from his belt and then held it above his head. The man’s action was met with a roar of excitement from the crowd, and he stood there for another moment, soaking in their adulation.

  The cult member then reached down, grabbed one of the goats by the horn, and lowered the knife to its throat. He pulled the blade across the animal’s jugular, and what looked like a geyser of blood sprayed out of its neck as it screamed in pain and struggled to escape the man’s grasp. After a few seconds of writhing, the goat collapsed to the ground, dead as a doornail.

  The crowd roared again, and the man in front of the flames waved his bloodied hand to silence them.

  “We have given this beast to the Exalted One, the enemy of our master.” the cult member boomed. “But what good, may I ask you, is a slaughtered goat?”

  The crowd hissed and booed at the man’s words.

  “Let this so-called ‘Lord’ have his dead animals,” he continued. “For the War of the Divine has been reignited at our master’s behest, and metaphysical entities have begun to pick their sides. I must ask you, my brothers and sisters, whose side are you on?”

  “Lucifer!” they called back in unison.

  “Who do we serve?” The pitch of the man’s voice was now growing more and more shrill.

  “Azazel, the King of the Fourth Circle!” the voices of the cult members roared in unison.

  “Then give up to him this beast of burden!” the man shrieked. “Let this beast inherit your sins, and he shall bring our master strength!”

  Every member of the cult reached out their hands toward the remaining goat as they began to mumble. They each must have been saying different things this time because their words mixed together into an incomprehensible drone. After a few minutes, they all lowered their hands in what looked like a single motion, and the whispers stopped.

  The man at the center of attention placed his dagger back into his holster, reached down, and placed his left hand on the horn of the small goat. Using his free hand, he untied the animal and began to shoo him away. The goat fearfully dashed off into the Arizona wilderness.

  “What the fuck did I just witness?” I whispered to Cupi.

  “The first goat was killed and sent to God,” the succubus explained. “The group imposed their sins on the second and then sent him off into the wild for Azazel to snatch away in the night.”

  “They think that their sins will feed into their master’s Hellfire powers,” Sia added.

  “A lot of good that’ll do now,” I said with a chuckle. “That fucker isn’t coming back from Hell any time soon.”

  “No,” Sia whispered, “but I’m sure they think their sacrifice will help him continue to grow stronger while he is banished.”

  “Which makes me worried that we haven’t seen the last of that big red asshole,” Cupiditas said through gritted teeth.

  “They’re starting to disperse.” I motioned with my head over to the fire.

  The cult members had begun to wander off in a few different directions. Some headed back in the direction of their cars, but the majority of the group sauntered over to a small clearing.

  This was our chance.

  The four of us snuck over beside the roaring fire and then meandered our way over to the crowd. Maybe it was just the fact that we were all wearing the exact same outfit, but none of the cult members noticed us newbies in their midsts. Instead, they were all focused on socializing with their other brethren.

  Almost every member of the cult now had a drink in their hand whether it be a glass of wine or a can of cheap grocery store beer. The entire atmosphere of the event had completely changed from intense and serious to joyful and almost party-like.

  “Excuse me, you four,” I h
eard a woman’s voice from behind.

  “Be ready to attack,” I mumbled to the succubi as I started to think about things that would ignite my Hellfire.

  I turned around and was face-to-face with a serious-looking brunette in a cultist robe. The woman’s sharp eyes squinted back at me above her button nose and sharp features, and she wore an angry frown on her razor-thin lips.

  “Where are your drinks?” Her blue eyes lit up as a sly grin slid across her face. “Everybody knows that you need alcohol for this part of the ceremony!”

  “Uh, is beer okay with everyone?” I looked at the three girls, who all responded with a quick nod. “Four beers would be awesome, please.”

  “Coming right up!” The brunette cult member smiled and then rushed off to grab us some drinks.

  “That was close,” I sighed, “too fucking close.”

  “Why do we need alcohol?” Libidine pondered.

  “Wait…” My eyes widened with horror. “Is this a Jonestown sort of thing? Like, are all the drinks laced with arsenic?”

  “I wouldn't think so,” Sia whispered. “What good is it to have a cult following you if all of your followers are dead?”

  “Four beers for my brother and sisters,” the brunette woman said as she approached with four open cans of light beer. “Just remember not to drink them until the toast.”

  This shit was definitely poisoned.

  “Thank you, sister,” I thanked the woman as I grabbed the can from her outstretched hand.

  “I haven’t seen you around here before, brother…?” she started.

  “Pearson,” I said without missing a beat. “Brother Blum is the one who sent me here.”

  “You’ve spoken with Bifrons in the flesh?” The brunette’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Is he everything we’ve ever hoped for?”

  “He’s one of the Seventy-Two Servants,” Cupiditas butted in. “You tell me.”

  “Are you…?” the woman squinted as she stared into the blonde’s eyes. “You are! It’s always an honor to have a demon in our presence.”

  “I am Empusa, the devourer of travelers,” the blonde didn’t miss a beat in her response. “And let me introduce my friends, Batibat and Lamashtu.”