A Season Lost

by Sophie Turner

  She cared only for the captain, however, and it was not until much later that day that he came to collect her from the wardroom dining-table, where she had been sitting and absently attempting progress on her needlework. His presence in the doorway was such as to put her in a state of violent, emotional trembling, and he seemed to understand the extent of his effect on her, for he held out his arms and closed the distance between them, holding her close.

  When last he had been shaved could not be told, but it was clearly much better than a day, and his cheek bristled against her forehead as they embraced. Georgiana did not mind – indeed, she preferred it – she found it a most real and raw reminder that he was still alive to hold her. Would Hawke have shaved him, before they laid him in his cot and sealed it, before they slipped him over the side of the ship and committed his body to the deep? Georgiana trembled and sobbed at the thought of it, and felt herself held all the more closely.

  “You are well? You are not hurt?” she asked, laying her hands on his head.

  “What?” he yelled, requiring Georgiana to repeat herself at a shout, although by now she had generally ascertained that he was well, aside from the effects of close exposure to the firing of the great guns over the course of many hours.

  “Perfectly well, dearest!” he said, nearly as loudly as her. “Not even a scratch, I assure you!”

  “But there were so many guns, and so many ships!”

  “If they had been the French, I believe they could have sunk us, although I would have called for quarter before it came to that,” Matthew said, finally beginning to lower his voice upon understanding by his wife’s reaction that he did not need to shout. “Thankfully, they are not. My uncle was wrong – an English frigate was a perfectly sufficient show of force in this part of the world, and a seventy-four could not have navigated this far up the river.”

  Georgiana sobbed again and pulled him back into a fervent embrace. He held her close, and murmured his reassurances that all was well, now, that they were both safe. When she had calmed a little, he informed her that the captain’s cabins should be reassembled by now, and she should feel welcome to have Moll change her and attempt some proper sleep.

  “I have some Company men coming to visit, to discuss what we must do in light of these events, but we will keep to the great cabin, and I will ask them to mind their voices,” he said.

  “What of you?” she asked. “Have you slept at all?”

  “I have not, nor am I likely to for some time,” he smiled grimly, before his gaze turned more tender, and he laid his hand on her belly. “I am not carrying a child, though.”

  To the captain’s cabins they went, therefore, his purse falling with a heavy clank upon the floor when Moll removed her stays in the sleeping cabin – Georgiana had forgotten she had tucked it away there. Moll retrieved it and handed it to her, and Georgiana, struck by sudden recollection, removed ten guineas and handed them to her maid. “To help with the wedding,” she said.

  “Oh, milady! Tis the greatest thing!” exclaimed Moll, flaring to life as though she was a candle that had just been lit. “And so generous of ye! Thank ye! Thank ye!”

  “I suppose all Taylor needed was an impending battle,” chuckled Georgiana.

  Moll laughed with her, and said, “Aye, but he said after, when I had a chance to see him, he said he’s been wantin’ to ask me for a long time, like you said. He said it just gave him a little extra push.”

  “Well I am glad,” Georgiana said. “My very best wishes to you both, and I hope you will remain in your position at least until we return to England.”

  “I want to, milady, as long as I’m able. Even once we’re back in England, if we can,” said Moll. “D’ye think we can be married in Bombay?”

  “I believe you could be married on the ship, if you wished it, once Mr. Griffith returns,” said Georgiana.

  “Milady, that’s a good thought, and it’d be nice of him to do it, but I’d like to be married in a church. Taylor wants it like that, too, all nice and proper.”

  “Moll – ” Georgiana began, struck by a sudden thought “ – are you intending to be married in an English church, or a Catholic one?”

  “Church o’ England, milady, for which your husband – or I guess his brother the parson – ought’a have the credit. Sarah was right, that the differences aren’t so big. And it wouldn’t do for Taylor to convert, not if he wants a proper warrant.”

  Georgiana nodded. “I am very glad you were able to work that out. I do not believe it is an issue that is always so – so easily resolved.”

  “As am I, milady. And thank ye again, for the wedding-gift,” Moll bobbed her curtsey and left the room with an excessive lightness of step.

  Perhaps a quarter-hour later, there came a soft knock at the door, and Georgiana, who had climbed into her cot but was not yet ready to attempt sleep – too overcome with relief over Matthew and happiness for Moll – presumed it was one or the other of them and bade them to enter. It was Matthew, with a large bundle in his hands.

  “I hope I did not wake you,” he said. When she had assured him he had not, and was seemingly heard in a manner indicating his hearing had somewhat recovered, he continued, “One of the Indiamen here carried mail – fifteen letters for you.”

  “Oh!” Georgiana exclaimed, finding that this unexpected delight added still more to her happiness. She took the letters from him and eagerly began with the hand she recognised best – Fitzwilliam’s – and his apparent worry for her and for his estate, with such a run of poor weather as England seemed to be experiencing. This did cause some dampening of her spirits. Yet his wife and children were well, intelligence reinforced by Elizabeth’s letters, and reading of Pemberley, of England, brought her many tender recollections, which were only reinforced by those missives she had received from her aunt Ellen, Edward, Catherine, and Mary. Even the letter from her aunt Catherine, which contained a large amount of advice on how Georgiana should manage her household and entertain on board a ship – all of it wrong – made her smile fondly.

  She would not attempt sleep until she had read every letter, yet while she felt her heart swell with love to think of her family and friends, and those places they wrote of, Georgiana found she did not feel homesick. Had she been able to transport both herself and Matthew back to England, she would have been happy to do so, but she felt now that her place was with him, and if it meant she must be on the other side of the world, in the cabin of this ship, then this was where she belonged. Even thinking of her pregnancy and the events of the previous day could do nothing to dispel this feeling. She thought of the alternative, of having remained at home or having made the journey there alone, having no idea of how Matthew fared for months, and felt content with her decisions. When finally she did give herself leave to rest, she slept deeply and peacefully until late in the night, when she was awakened by the sensation of Matthew nestling up close beside her. This was a further aid to her contentedness, and she sighed, then slept straight through the remainder of the night.

  Chapter 15

  HMS Caroline suffered no further punishment for her insolence, nor did her captain. After his discussions with the East India Company’s factory men, Commodore Stanton had sent a strongly worded letter to the Chinese viceroy. He had not received a satisfactory response, and yet HMS Caroline was permitted to remain where she was among the Company ships, undoubtedly respected for the trail of destruction she had left in her wake.

  They were still awaiting the return of the embassy, but trade had resumed, at least within the East India Company factory, and while Georgiana could not go ashore to take part in it, she still felt its benefit, for Bowden and Hawke began coming to the ship with samples for her to examine. There was a series of tea cups and saucers she was to choose a pattern from, which she was informed would comprise an entire dinner service for the Stantons; a choice of teas, each of a pleasing lightness; and a great deal of silk fabric. The latter Georgiana found far too bold, yet she agreed to
purchasing several bolts of it, for it had become clear that her present dresses had not the capacity to hold her growing figure before they reached Bombay. They had not thought to hold back some of the muslin from Cape Town – all of it had been made into smallclothes – and while Moll had exercised a great deal of ingenuity in letting out Georgiana’s dresses, they were reaching the limit of such ingenuity. There was, of course, no mantua-maker on shore that could provide a finished dress in anything resembling European fashion, but Moll indicated optimism in being able to do so, particularly if helped by Bowden, who she claimed sewed neater seams than anyone. Once Georgiana’s least-favourite dress was sacrificed for a pattern, the pair proved equal to Moll’s word.

  Thus, three new silk dresses formed under the rather impressive efforts of Moll and Bowden, and a great many crates filled with Matthew’s purchases filled the hold of the Caroline. Of the latter, Georgiana came to understand that Matthew desired more than just their own household goods – although these were his priority, and Georgiana was heartened to see him interested in such domestic cares – for he was also looking to carry some cargo as freight, meant to be sold at a profit when they returned to England. “A contribution towards the dowry of our daughter,” he had said, “or the education of our son.” It was a tremendously pleasing thought, for Georgiana, to think of returning to England with a son or a daughter who would need such funds.

  She would have written regardless, but the great quantity of letters that had been delivered by the Indiaman had given her correspondence that could actually be responded to, although it was months old. And she had, after some deliberation, decided it was finally time to inform Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth that she was in the family way. Now that she had experienced the quickening – now that her poor child had been tested with the hardships of a battle and a night in the forepeak, and yet remained with her – she thought they should be told, lest they be utterly shocked later.

  Her letters were to be carried by the next Indiaman to depart Canton, for the Caroline remained waiting for the embassy. Those men Matthew had worried for, had fought his way up the river for, were yet to even have need of the ship. Matthew had received a letter from Mr. Ellis informing him that they progressed slowly toward Canton via river and canal, but it was unclear as to when they should be expected, and vaguer still on what had happened at Pekin.

  The news of the embassy’s failure had become common, however, and when Matthew returned from his trips to the shore, this news was much of what he shared with Georgiana.

  Not liking to leave his wife to dine alone or with Mrs. Travis every evening, Matthew endeavoured to keep his invitations to dine on shore to a minimum, although some events could not be avoided. He was more desirous of reciprocating, and Georgiana found herself presiding over the first of several dinners with a group of Company men wearing the newest of her silk gowns. It was a rich red, sumptuous in its feel, and Georgiana felt entirely improper wearing it; she had worn silk but rarely thus far in her life, and never would have ordinarily considered such a shade.

  She felt it still more when Matthew introduced her to the Company men, and each of them looked at her a bit too appreciatively, and a bit too long. This did not serve to feed the very little vanity that Georgiana possessed, for she recognised that none of them could have had contact with any Englishwomen for quite some time, unless they had spent time in Macao, and thus she and Mrs. Travis were to be admired here as if they were the greatest beauties that had ever graced Almack’s in London. It did not matter that the drape of the dress sometimes betrayed the growing swell of Georgiana’s belly – indeed, even if this did not increase Georgiana’s desirability, it did seem to cause some number of jealous looks to be directed towards Commodore Stanton, for it made obvious that he retained a pleasing bedfellow, on this side of the world.

  Possibly as a result of this, Matthew was particularly amorous, when they had seen the Company men off in the ship’s boats and retired for the night, kissing his wife most passionately as soon as he had climbed into their joined cots.

  “You, dearest, looked positively luscious tonight,” he said. “I believe I would have been unbelievably jealous, if I had not seen how discomfited you were by such attentions. Instead, I must admit I felt rather delighted that it was I, who was to sleep tonight with the object of everyone’s desires.”

  “‘Tis that dress,” murmured Georgiana, growing hot in embarrassment. “I will be very glad when we are in Bombay, and I may purchase muslins.”

  “It is not just the dress. I thought only I felt it, for you are my wife and you carry our child, but there is something particularly attractive about a woman, when she is in the family way.”

  Georgiana looked at him sceptically: she certainly did not feel attractive, to be growing so that she required new dresses, and to be so easily exhausted as she was of late. “I believe it is more that women are so few that one in the family way appears more attractive than she should.”

  “I cannot agree with you, dearest, but I find your modesty most adorable,” he said, kissing her again and then giving her such attentions as made clear he wished for that which the Company men were not likely to have for months, if not years. Then, however, he stopped, despite his wife’s reciprocal enthusiasm. “Will it be too uncomfortable, for you? I believe you must reach a point where it is so.”

  “Yes, I believe I shall, but I have not reached it, yet, and I would very much like to continue, so long as you are careful,” she said, and Commodore Stanton, indeed with much care, proceeded to complete his evening in a manner that must have made him the envy of the other men, if they could have had it confirmed.

  +++

  The Company men dined aboard the Caroline several times more, each with the same result, when finally word reached the ship that the embassy had arrived at Canton and would soon be coming aboard. Georgiana felt a little reluctance to have her space reduced again – she and Matthew had enjoyed having all of his cabins restored to him – yet knew the sacrifice was worthwhile, for finally the ship would be able to depart for India, and then home.

  Lord Amherst and most of the men stayed on shore for several days, visited there by Matthew as their trunks began to come on board the ship. When finally Commodore Stanton’s barge approached the Caroline with Lord Amherst sitting within, the ship fired off a nineteen-gun salute, which caused some degree of consternation among the Chinese ashore, who must have thought the ship was firing again.

  The baron was received in complete state by the ship, with Matthew in his best uniform, his lieutenants lined up alongside him, and the marines in a stoic red row with their bayonets gleaming. Lord Amherst was welcomed back to the ship by Matthew and encouraged to go below for refreshment. Georgiana had been on the deck to observe all of this, standing well back from the official receiving-line, but Lord Amherst forgot neither his manners nor her precedence, and offered his arm to her to go below. While the gaze he directed towards her was also appreciative, his manners were all that should be expected of a man who – when finally he returned to London – might sit with her uncles in the House of Lords.

  The most important men of the embassy joined them in the great cabin, where some little kickshaws as well as the Stantons’s newly acquired tea and some of the remaining Sillery were served out. The Sillery proved to be far more popular among the men, although Georgiana preferred the tea, and once they all had a drink in hand, Lord Amherst and Mr. Ellis told the story of what had happened to the embassy.

  The failure, the Stantons learned, was because in order to approach the Emperor, Lord Amherst would have been required to perform the ko-tou, an act of exceedingly deep obeisance that Lord Amherst, after careful deliberation, had determined to be too demeaning for a direct representative of the King. They had attempted to negotiate some manner of compromise, but both sides had remained unbending, the Britons’s negotiations with the Chinese often marked with the same insolence and confusion that had comprised the mandarins’s interactions with Mat
thew. The emperor’s representatives had, however, been more polite and gracious to the retreating party than Matthew had feared, and the embassy had returned to Canton in comfort, disappointed in their failure but firm in their resolve.

  “England should prostrate herself to no man,” Lord Amherst said, to conclude the account, to which he received vigorous nods around the captain’s table. There was a pause, during which the decanter began another round, and then Mr. Ellis said, “I understand we were not the only ones to have an adventure with the Chinese – I can hardly meet an Englishman without his speaking of the Caroline’s progress up the river.”

  At this, Matthew seemed to experience some moments of discomfiture, but since the countenances of the men around the table seemed pleased, he eventually began an account of all that had occurred before, during, and after the destruction of the fort. Georgiana had heard some of this, but not all of it, and listened with attention as rapt as any of the men. When Matthew had finished, the countenances around the table appeared even more pleased than they had been, although it was left to Lord Amherst to pass judgment on Commodore Stanton’s actions, and this he did, stating: “I may say with certainty that we did not accomplish what we had set out to do, on this embassy, and yet perhaps what we have done is more important. We have shown the British will bow to no-one, and demonstrated we are not to be trifled with. Indeed, if I now have any regrets, they are only that I did not better help them understand that your ship, Commodore Stanton, possesses hardly a third of the firepower of our great ships of the line. If the Caroline should cause such destruction, imagine what the Victory would have done.”

  “Yes, but the Victory could not have – ”

  Georgiana looked to Matthew, certain he was going to say the Victory could not have navigated so far up the river, and also certain that such a statement would have an undesirably sobering effect on the men gathered around the table. The idea of Victory’s presence within these waters was a fantasy for these men, none of them burdened by the practicalities that always formed Matthew’s thoughts.