A Rumored Affair

by Lyn, Viki

  Chris leaned back in his chair, setting the book down. Too many thoughts about Graham made reading impossible.

  8

  Chris hunkered down in the passenger’s seat of Graham’s convertible, the wind whipping his hair. He clutched the handle of the passenger door as Graham took the curves at top speed. The guy was a demon behind the wheel.

  Chris turned to Graham, who, thankfully, had his eyes on the road. “Care to slow down? I want to live another day.”

  “Trust me. I took lessons with Nicolas Verano.” Graham patted the red leather dash of the convertible. “I know how to take the curves with this baby.”

  “Who the fuck is Verano?”

  “He’s won the Grand Prix, for one.”

  Chris didn’t follow sports, except an occasional football game, and definitely not car racing. “I don’t follow NASCAR.”

  Graham laughed. “Shit. You don’t know your sports. Grand Prix isn’t NASCAR.”

  “Whatever.”

  With the top down, the heat of the sun warmed Chris. Golden mountains with patches of pine trees whizzed past. Sunlight tipped the grasses shimmering in the breeze. The edge of the road hugged the coastline and its sheer drops to the sea. The ocean’s crisp scent mingled with the fragrance of pine and brush. And even with this potent fragrance, he could smell Graham’s cologne.

  He breathed easier once the car exited into Monterey. Graham slowed under the speed limit through town and found a parking spot in the aquarium’s underground garage. Chris lowered the sunshade, glad to see a mirror. His hair was a tangled mess, unlike Graham, who had to only finger-comb his hair back into place.

  Chris stepped out of the car and stood by the passenger door.

  Graham rounded the front of the car and approached Chris. They faced each other, Chris having to slightly look up at Graham.

  “Here, let me help.” Graham smoothed Chris’s hair back, letting his hand rest longer than necessary. “The windblown look suits you.”

  Butterflies battered Chris’s stomach. He looked down at his sandals, feeling his face heat up. Compliments about his looks made him uncomfortable. He absentmindedly touched his scars along his left temple. The worst of the fire’s embers had seared his skin when he’d tried to protect himself from the falling lumber. Not bad enough for skin grafts, but he still felt subconscious about them.

  Trapped by Graham, Chris couldn’t move back or forward. When he looked up, and their eyes met, Chris’s mouth parted.

  Graham played with Chris’s curls. “I’ve wanted to do this since I first met you.”

  Chris’s chest tightened as he anticipated what Graham would do next. Knowing what Graham could do.

  Graham leaned forward and nibbled Chris’s lower lip, mercilessly teasing him. He drew his tongue along the inner edge of Chris’s mouth, eliciting a groan from Chris.

  “You have such a sexy mouth,” Graham’s fingers rested under Chris’s chin. “You smell good, too. Like a part of this place,” Graham sniffed the curve of Chris’s neck. “Salty ocean air…pines…”

  Chris was unable to speak, his throat too dry. The gentle brush of Graham’s touch and the intensity of that green-eyed stare made his heart pound, his feet fused to the ground. He tried to hide his hands in his pockets, but Graham grabbed them, rubbing his thumb over the puckered skin.

  “Do they still hurt?” Graham asked.

  Somehow Graham had a way of asking that pulled at Chris’s emotions. “No—well, sometimes.”

  “I’m sorry. It must have been horrible losing your dads in that way. The resort. All of it.”

  Graham must have looked up the events of the fire on the Internet. Not surprising that he discovered how Chris had tried to save his dads, the resort burning to the ground, the grief the community had shared with him over losing Pete and Bob.

  “I had to design the resort from the ground up. Most of the buildings had fire damage.”

  Before Chris could say more, Graham lifted Chris’s hand, turned it over, and kissed the palm.

  Warm. The simple gesture was comforting.

  Graham held on to Chris’s hand. “You were heroic trying to save them. Not many would risk their lives like that.”

  “I was too late,” said Chris, bitterly. And the brief moment of comfort was replaced by sadness when remembering that horrific night. The thick, nasty smoke, the crackle of charring wood, the harsh sizzle of molten glass.

  Chris twisted away, but Graham wasn’t having any of that. He held on to Chris. “I want us to be friends.”

  Don’t you see? That’s going to hurt too much.

  Before Chris could escape, Graham kissed him, taking possession of his mouth and owning it. Not that he expected Graham to hold back. Graham was a man who went after what he wanted. Chris suspected he didn’t do anything by halves.

  Chris mirrored the kiss in intensity, unable to do anything else. The warm sensation of Graham’s lips woke a sexual need. Chris threaded his hands through Graham’s hair, keeping Graham near him, needing the closeness. Chris had missed the intimacy and the thrill of a man’s touch, and well…fuck, he’d never felt so electrified by a kiss. Trapped against Graham’s body and the car, Chris wasn’t going anywhere. Not that he wanted to. The kiss was too good.

  In the background, a father barked for his kids to quiet down. Snapped back to reality, Chris shoved Graham away. For fuck’s sake, he had to get a grip. They were in a crowded parking lot with families.

  The loss of Graham’s touch ached. And Chris’s cock painfully reminded him of this fact. He half turned from Graham and tugged at his pants to ease the bulge.

  “This isn’t part of the deal.” Chris’s voice came out breathless.

  “I didn’t kiss you because of any deal. You enjoyed it, so what’s the harm?”

  The kiss had awakened something inside Chris that scared him. So many issues would come between them. Their beliefs were poles apart. If members of EAN found out he was attracted to Graham, he’d be kicked out on his ass.

  “Let’s get going,” Chris said. “There’s a lot to see.”

  Graham’s ridiculous smile remained. “Sure, I’m all yours.”

  As they made their way to the entrance, Chris went over what he’d do about moving Graham to another bungalow. First thing, he would phone Josh and see if one had become available. Maybe a guest had an emergency and left.

  As Chris led Graham through the aquarium, showing him the different exhibits, his anxiety slowly ebbed. He was enjoying Graham’s enthusiasm. Since the first exhibit, this polished, urbane man had transformed into an entranced kid.

  Graham walked ahead of Chris and entered the exhibit featuring the kelp forest. He stopped at the floor-to-ceiling glass wall. “Hey, we made the feeding. Isn’t that cool?” Graham pointed to the frenzy of activity as the fish scurried for food around a scuba diver.

  Chris absentmindedly nodded as he spied an empty bench. “Go for it, but I’m sitting down.”

  Chris sat on a bench behind the crowd, glad to rest. From the brochure he read that the kelp forest was one of the tallest in the world. The display was impressive, with a diver’s view of leopard sharks, eels, and other exotic fishes swimming between the kelp fronds. He looked for Graham in the crowd and chuckled to see him with his nose pressed close to the glass. Man, the guy was like a little kid, his curiosity insatiable.

  As Graham turned and waved, he stepped in front of a toddler peering through the legs of people crowded around the glass. He bent down on one knee and said something to the boy, and then after talking with a woman who appeared to be the mother, Graham lifted the kid onto his shoulders so he could watch the divers feed the fish.

  Chris’s heart swelled at Graham’s act of kindness and the pure joy on the boy’s face at having the best view in the house. Chris noticed that everywhere Graham went, strangers talked to him. People wanted a piece of whatever that “it factor” was that Graham possessed, and Chris was no exception.

  After the feeding was ove
r, Graham returned the boy to his mother and sat next to Chris.

  “That was nice of you,” Chris said.

  “What?”

  “The boy. He was beaming.”

  “Yeah. Cute kid. Though the mom was a little suspicious at first when I asked if I could heft him onto my shoulders.”

  “Can’t be too careful these days.”

  “I like kids. What about you? Ever want one of your own?”

  “Haven’t thought that far. First I would need a husband. Wouldn’t want to do it alone.”

  “Me neither. Kids take a lot of attention and commitment. I wouldn’t want to be one of those fathers who is never around.”

  The bitterness caught Chris’s attention. “Speaking from experience?”

  A tense smile followed Chris’s question. “You could say that. To be fair, my father worked hard, so my mother and I had everything. Unfortunately, he couldn’t give us what counted.”

  The urge to touch Graham overcame Chris, but instead he clasped his hands in his lap. They had an arrangement, and that was all this was. Graham might have another side to his ruthlessness, but it was best to remember the businessman was a shark, as deadly as the ones in the aquarium. He had threatened to expose Secretus to the press to get his way. Then again, Chris had something even more damning over Graham. Not that he’d ever out a person without their permission.

  “Let me see the map.” Graham snatched the guide from Chris’s hand. He unfolded the trifold and whistled. “Wow, you are anal.”

  “If you’re going to give me shit, give it back.” Chris tried to grab the map, but Graham held the brochure out of reach. So what if he’d checked off each exhibit and film they’d attended. There was nothing wrong with being organized.

  “No, no, just an observation.” Graham went back to studying the map. “Hmm, we’ve got to see the sea otters.”

  “They are cute buggers.”

  Graham unexpectedly rubbed Chris’s thigh. “Thanks. I haven’t had a day like this in a long time, having fun without an agenda.”

  The arrogant businessman had vanished, and in his place was a great guy having a good time with a friend. Graham’s smile never left his face, happiness showing in his bright eyes and his easy laughter.

  Chris wanted to feel carefree like Graham, not afraid that everyone he ever loved would leave him behind. Fostered from one home to another, he’d never belonged. No one had stuck around long enough for him to form a lasting relationship until Pete and Bob came into his life. They taught him about love. Then the fire and his life irrevocably changed.

  Chris checked the time on his cell phone. Thank God it was showtime because sitting near Graham gave him a warm and fuzzy feeling. A feeling he could get used to if he stayed within Graham’s presence any longer.

  He jumped up, and looked down at Graham. “Ah, the otter show is in five minutes.”

  “Let’s do it.”

  Graham rewarded Chris with a breathtaking smile.

  Oh God. The realization crashed over Chris. He really liked Graham. No way could he ignore that beautiful smile. Panic gripped his lungs. He had to get away from Graham, from these feelings he shouldn’t have.

  He fled the claustrophobic hall. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, and he pressed his hand to his painful chest trying to catch his breath. Once out in the courtyard, the brisk temperature cooled his face. He shoved his trembling hands into his pants pockets, looking down at his feet.

  Chris steeled himself against what would come next. He played out the scene in his head, Graham telling him that he wanted to go home, the thick silence between them in the car, and eventually, Graham finding someone else to entertain him.

  Graham came up from behind but kept his distance. “Are you okay? It’s crowded in there. Let’s take a walk. Get some fresh air. I know I can use it.”

  Chris dug his hands deeper into his jeans pockets. “Give me a minute.”

  After some time went by, Graham rested his hand on Chris’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s walk.”

  Chris didn’t turn around, not able to face Graham yet. “What about the sea otters?”

  “You just want to check it off your list, don’t you?” Graham teased. “I see plenty from your balcony.”

  Chris turned around, practically into Graham’s arms. “You must think I’m a pain in the ass.”

  Graham looked surprised. “No way. I’m having a great time. Hey, was it something I did that caused you to run? If so, tell me.”

  Guilt rose in Chris at the concern in Graham’s eyes. “Look, it’s not you. Well, it’s you, but…shit.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I’ve been this way since…the fire. I haven’t got a handle on my nerves. Sometimes I get panic attacks for no reason.”

  “Did I scare you?”

  “You being nice scares me.”

  Graham frowned, but his eyes twinkled. “You’re not into that S&M shit, are you?”

  Chris’s laugh vibrated in his chest chasing out the last of his stress. “Fuck, no. I prefer sex without leather straps.”

  “I better hide my handcuffs, then.” Graham closed the gap between them. He squeezed Chris’s hand. “Let’s take that walk. I saw a path along the ocean.”

  They took a trail along the coast. The breeze had kicked up the fog that lazily rolled in. The gray mist engulfed the rugged coastline.

  “The weather changes fast here.” Graham buttoned his leather coat. “Sure is beautiful though. You lived here long?”

  “The best thing that ever happened to me was when Pete and Bob took me in. I was a foster kid, and they were my last chance before the authorities stuck me in an institution.”

  Graham looked him over, his brows knitted in thought. “Wow, that had to be tough. What happened to your birth parents?”

  “My mom was a meth addict, and my dad died in a car accident. The happiest day of my life was when Pete and Bob adopted me. Before that, I was in foster homes, not all good.”

  A shiver crossed Chris’s heart as he kept at bay the terrible memories of some of those homes. He had learned a hard lesson that adults took advantage of broken kids. Maybe that was why he needed to help the disenfranchised.

  “So how was it being raised by gay parents? Did you know you were gay back then?”

  “I knew I was different. Gay? Not until I hit puberty and had wet dreams over my English teacher. Mr. Friedman.”

  Graham laughed. “Yeah. Me too. What is it with teachers? Mine was my history teacher. He ended up marrying one of his past students. I was crushed.” Graham grew pensive. “Tell me about your dads. They sound like great guys.”

  “They were very patient with me. They taught me it was okay to be myself. Encouraged me to find out who I was and not what others wanted me to be. Having two people who supported me was hard at first.”

  “Why hard?”

  “Because I had no excuses anymore. I couldn’t blame my foster parents or the system for my problems. I had to take responsibility for my actions.” Chris crossed his arms as he looked out onto the ocean. “Sorry. Suddenly I have diarrhea of the mouth. I’m never this—”

  “Talkative?”

  “Oh no, I can talk, just not about them. It hurts too much.”

  What was with his loose tongue? Even Honda never went too deep into Chris’s past, backing off when Chris scowled at him. “I can talk to you. I wonder why that is?”

  Graham wrapped his arm around Chris’s waist. “That makes me feel good. I bet you were a gift to them too. Smart. Beautiful.”

  Chris smirked. “Shit. I know I’m smart. Beautiful? That’s flirting.”

  Graham threw up his hands in mock surrender. “Guilty as charged. Look, I want to get to know you. On your terms. Your pace.”

  Keeping his emotions in check was Chris’s way of protecting himself. It was never good to give information to someone who hadn’t earned his trust. And he hadn’t been in Graham’s company long enough to trust him completely, especially with his fragile heart.
r />   Chris turned to walk back to the aquarium. “Let’s go back. We can still catch the otter show.”

  Graham stopped Chris with a hand on his arm. “Why do you do this? Stiffen up when someone tries to get close to you? Don’t take this wrong, but you seem lonely even among friends. It’s like you keep a part of yourself locked away from others. What are you afraid of?”

  “That’s crap.” Graham knew nothing about Chris’s past and why being careful about relationships protected him from impossible expectations.

  Graham moved in and crossed his arms. “Just an observation.”

  Chris leaned against the railing post and mimicked Graham’s crossed arms. “And my observation is you have too many friends, none of which like you for yourself but for your position and money. That’s another kind of loneliness.”

  A pained expression flashed in Graham’s eyes. “You know nothing about my life. You aren’t even curious to ask. Why is that?”

  Because asking is too intimate. Chrissy, what did we show you?

  Love. That’s what his dads showed him every day of their lives.

  Chris turned away, hiding his tears. A dense gray wall of fog hung on the horizon. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He didn’t want to get closer to someone, because that meant stepping out from his lists and routines, the very things that kept him going. The organized existence held back the memories of his past and the fire and the profound loss tucked in a dark corner of his heart.

  “Okay, I summed you up as well.” Graham sighed almost in Chris’s ear. “Let’s start over. I enjoyed today. I don’t want it to end on a sour note.”

  Chris’s breath hitched at how close Graham stood behind him. There was no room to back up from the railing. He turned, and Graham looked hopeful with his uncertain smile.

  “Why did you kiss me in the parking lot?” Chris asked.

  “You looked…” Graham brushed back Chris’s curls. “Irresistible. Like now.”

  Chris shivered. “My pace, remember.”

  “I told you we’d go slow, so let’s see where this goes.” Graham gently wiped his thumb across Chris’s mouth. “I’m not going anywhere.”