A Rumored Affair

by Lyn, Viki

  He walked over to his desk and picked up a pencil. He chewed at the tip and thought about how much he missed Chris and the ocean air and pungent smell of pine trees. New York City had once held him in thrall, but the bright lights of the city had dimmed. Once he’d returned home, all he’d noticed was the emptiness of his penthouse, his job, his life.

  He flipped through his desk calendar. He stabbed today’s date with the pointed end of his pencil. The page marked his dinner date with his mother. He couldn’t get out of it. Not this time. Since he’d been home, he’d avoided her and the questions that surely would be forthcoming. And she would have questions.

  He sighed. “Jillian, cancel the rest of my appointments for today. I won’t be returning to the office.”

  The interview had drained him. His feelings for Chris were too raw. The persistent ache in Graham’s heart caused his mask of confidence to slip. At home, he could mope in private before he had to face his mother and her interrogation. No matter if she supported his decisions or not, he would not back down from his new set of changes for Winter Media. If his family disapproved of his being gay and his idea of improving the business, then they could damn well fire him.

  * * *

  Graham sat in a window booth across from this mother who was impeccably dressed in a simple but expensive black sheath and a matching sweater. Graham had suggested her favorite Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side. This would at least ensure she would enjoy her meal if not the conversation.

  Once they ordered, Mrs. Winter got to the point, her sharp gaze pinning Graham to his seat. “I had to hear you’re gay from that snob, Mrs. McCarthy.”

  Graham flinched. Mrs. McCarthy was his mother’s nemesis from the country club, the two always trying to one upmanship the other. “Yeah, well that wasn’t my choice.”

  “You always have a choice, Graham.”

  Fuck, he withered a little at hearing the same sentiment that Chris had said to him. “Yeah, you’re right. I did, but I thought hiding my sexuality would help the company.”

  “Are you sure that wasn’t an excuse? That you weren’t ready to come out? What did you think we’d do, disown you?” She pursed her perfectly lined mouth. “Throw you out of the house? Your uncles might have if you were their sons, but that’s not who I am. Or your father. You didn’t trust us. And that hurts.”

  “Okay, stop. You’re making me feel like shit.” Graham brushed the tablecloth with his fingernail. “I…”

  Mrs. Winter reach over the table and patted Graham’s fidgety hand, her diamond wedding ring sparkling in the candlelight. “I know. You’re sorry, and I forgive you. Anyway, it’s hardly news that you’re gay.”

  Graham’s eyes widened at the revelation. “What? Then why didn’t you say something?”

  “You never dated a girl longer than a few months. In college, you were furtive when it came to your friends. Father and I discussed asking you, but we felt you weren’t ready and so we waited.”

  “But if you said something earlier, I wouldn’t have stuffed myself back into the closet. If I’d known I had your support it might have made a difference.”

  “It wasn’t for me to make that decision for you. You’re your own man, son.” Mrs. Winter steepled her fingers. “Enough about the past. What are your plans with this Chris Katsaros?”

  Graham was startled by his mother’s question and for once, had no sure answers. “Ah, well he’s not answering my texts or phone calls.” The more he thought about being ignored by Chris the more frustrated he became. “I could have driven my car off a cliff for all he cares.”

  “It’s not like you to give up so easily. This makes me question if you truly love him.”

  Graham hunkered down, buffering himself from the low blow. Throughout the years he’d grown a tough skin for his mother never sugarcoated her opinions. While most of the time he appreciated her candor, he sometimes wished she’d express unconditional support for his decisions.

  “I love him,” he stated with conviction, daring his mother to disagree.

  “How much are you willing to sacrifice to be with him? Your life is here, and the company. Is he willing to move? Are you?”

  “Who knows for how long I’ll have a company? The board is ready to kick my ass goodbye. Freedom Press has pulled out of the deal.”

  Mrs. Winter’s did a very uncharacteristic snort. “Let them try to oust you. I still hold the majority of the shares. Your father gave you the reins because he had faith in your abilities. Never doubt that. I’m proud of you, son.”

  Graham’s face grew warm from his mother’s rare compliment. Their discussion wasn’t anywhere near what Graham had thought was going to happen. “I’ll be implementing major changes in the way we do business. Now that I’m out, I’m never stuffing myself back into the closet.”

  “Good for you.” Mrs. Winter’s tilted her head slightly, giving Graham a no-nonsense look. “You never told me how you’re going to handle the relationship with your boyfriend.”

  “Boyfriend. I like the sound of that,” then Graham frowned. “I asked if he’d stay with me but he never gave me a straight answer. He doesn’t do well with sudden change, and he’s kind of a control freak. He can get anxious when he’s put on the spot.”

  “You drive too hard, Graham. You haven’t been back that long. Give him some space. Let him come to the conclusion he needs you as much as you need him. Then you’ll know for sure this is what he wants, and he hasn’t been bullied into doing things your way.”

  This was sound advice from his mother. There were plenty of tasks that would keep him busy. He’d do as she suggested and give Chris some breathing room. “I love you,” he said, smiling at the growing pink in his mother’s cheeks.

  After dinner, Graham walked home with a bounce in his step, his fears of being out all but vanished. With his mother’s acceptance, he felt ready to take on Winter Media and the board. The changes he planned for the company would rock the foundation his father had put in place. So be it. Graham was ready to be his own man and make Chris proud.

  21

  Since the Twitter incident, the social-media fervor around Secretus had slowly fizzled out. Per Graham’s suggestion, Chris had posted his tribute to his dads on the website, and it had garnered a lot of heartfelt comments. If anything, the media attention had resulted in an increased interest in the resort, and more bookings. While Chris had kept the limited Internet policy intact, no longer could he hide from media attention. Those days were long gone.

  Josh pulled out a bar stool, and sat. “I’m glad to see you left your bolt hole. We like having you around.”

  Since the day Graham left, Chris’s world felt too small. So he’d taken to visiting the lobby bar, where he’d talk with guests and occasionally share a drink with Josh or one of the staff members. Every day he missed Graham. He tried to get over him, but some smell, sight or sound, and he’d be reminiscing about something they’d shared together, and his heart would ache again.

  Tonight was Sunday, and only a few guests sat at the bar. A big-screen TV on low volume displayed a sports network. Josh sat with his back to the counter, keeping vigil on the comings and goings in the lobby.

  Chris ordered Josh’s favorite wine. “On me.”

  “Thanks. What’s the occasion?”

  “None,” Chris said. “I’m glad you’re here, that’s all.”

  Since his dads’ deaths, he’d retreated from life and this insular behavior had to change, especially when it came to his staff. One thing that had impressed him was how much Graham knew about his employees’ families, interests, down to their favorite colors. While Chris made sure his staff had decent wages and excellent benefits, he knew next to nothing about their personal lives.

  Secretus was his family. If he’d learned anything over the last few weeks, it was how much he relied on Josh and his staff for their support. They had his back, and now he made it a point to have theirs.

  Josh twisted the gold band on his left ring fing
er.

  “You still miss him?” Josh’s partner had died five years ago. Pete and Bob had helped him through some of his darkest moments, and Josh had stayed.

  Josh stroked the stem of his wine glass. “Every day.”

  “Does it grow easier, as they say?” Chris asked, because without Graham, he felt hollow inside. Waking up in the mornings brought a fresh wave of despair when he realized Graham wasn’t by his side.

  Josh took off his ring and lifted it to eye level. “It does get better. I find myself laughing more. Enjoying my friends. But I can’t take this off. Not yet.” Josh put the ring back on. “I won’t ever love anyone else.”

  Chris had no comment to add. He couldn’t imagine Pete and Bob with different partners. Maybe it was a blessing they’d died together. And the only partner Chris could picture himself with was Graham.

  The double doors flew open. Honda dashed across the floor, waving frantically to Chris and Josh. “There you are!”

  Josh thumbed his finger at Honda. “What’s gotten into him?”

  Honda flounced on the stool and shot Josh an exasperating stare. “Channel 4, now! What are you waiting for?” He clapped his hands. “Chop. Chop.”

  Josh rolled his eyes but leaned over the bar for the TV remote.

  Chris’s breath seized as the image of Graham materialized on the screen. He reached out to touch the image and retreated his hand back. Graham’s image grew blurry and Chris swiped his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, desperate to control his emotions.

  “Turn it up.” Honda snatched the remote from Josh and raised the volume. “He’s being interviewed by Gayle Hutton.”

  Ms. Hutton sat opposite of Graham in what appeared an office setting. Graham looked every inch the corporate executive in his navy suit and tie. He sported a subdued smile, enough for him to appear composed and in charge but accessible.

  Ms. Hutton kept her full attention on Graham. “You have been outed through social media. The tweets suggested a liaison with the owner of an all-gay resort called Secretus. As well as questioning Secretus’s reputation—”

  A blush heightened Graham’s cheekbones. “Let me set the record straight. Yes, I am gay. Yes, I fell in love with the owner of Secretus. And no, Secretus isn’t some male brothel.”

  The realization that Graham had admitted his love in front of millions of viewers astonished Chris followed by guilt that He had treated Graham’s love as a one-off affair.

  “I’m not ashamed of being gay or falling in love,” Graham said. “What I am ashamed of is Winter Media’s involvement in a magazine that would spread vicious lies. We are a privately owned family business, and therefore I am responsible for what Gossipy! published.”

  Ms. Hutton checked her notes. “Gossipy! published the article without your knowledge.”

  Graham chuckled darkly. “Doesn’t release me from my responsibility. They weren’t too smart to out their owner, but money talks in today’s society. The journalist was paid well for the information. The editor didn’t catch what was going on before it was too late.”

  “The tweets had some damning gossip about the nature of Secretus. And there is the saying there’s a kernel of truth in every rumor.”

  Chris frowned for it seemed Ms. Hutton wanted dirt on Secretus despite the resort’s spotless reputation.

  “Let me repeat.” Graham said, sternly. “Secretus is a five-star resort catering to gay clientele. Nothing nefarious is going on there. It was one of the first gay resorts in the 1970s. So you could imagine that secrecy was necessary during that time. The present owner believes in keeping with the previous owners’ legacy. He doesn’t advertise and avoids social media for his guests’ privacy, not because he has anything to hide.”

  Chris beamed with pride for Graham, who remained composed throughout the interview. This took guts—in more ways than stepping out of the closet.

  “What are your plans to ensure this never happens again?” Ms. Hutton asked, her last question before commercial break.

  “I’ve closed down Gossipy!. I need help in monitoring my publications and media networks. I’m stepping down as CEO but will remain president. I’m also bringing in outside help. Directors who share our creative vision.”

  “These sound like drastic changes for a family business.”

  Stunned by Graham stepping down, Chris grabbed Honda’s arm and yanked him forward. “How did you know about this interview?”

  Honda steadied himself on the stool. “Hey, watch it. I told you. I have my computer set for alerts. Graham’s name is one of them.” Honda folded his arms. “The dude loves you, man. What are you going to do about it?”

  What was he going to do?

  “I need some air,” Chris muttered as he rushed outside. The start of a panic attack had him seeing double. He stopped and took a few deep breaths, which calmed the thumping in his chest. Once he got a grip on his anxiety, he started down a path that skirted the cliffs. The sound of crashing waves traveled upward. Walking with no destination in mind, Chris let his thoughts guide him. Minutes later, he found himself at his cabin.

  The windows were open, and the night breeze rippled the papers on the table. He hadn’t cleaned up from last night’s EAN meeting. The board never mentioned Freedom Press or his affair with Graham. Honda’s doing, most likely, but Chris had been grateful.

  Graham’s public declaration needed an answer from Chris. Graham had stormed into his life and captured his heart. Loving Graham was terrifying and exciting and wonderful. And on national television, Graham had admitted he loved him without knowing if Chris would be listening. Not a self-serving gesture at all. Graham had bared his soul without caring if he would be criticized.

  Chris sank in his chair and buried his face in his hands. Graham loved him. The text messages Graham had sent all but confirmed that he wanted them to stay together. Like an idiot, Chris had ignored them. Yet if he’d learned anything from Pete and Bob, it was that love mattered. Two people could have an incredible relationship and weather all the shit that life brings.

  “This is where you’re hiding.”

  Startled by Honda’s strident voice, he jerked forward. In the confused state he was in, he couldn’t take Honda ribbing him about all of his sorry-ass decisions when it came to Graham.

  “Talk to me.” Honda sat across from Chris. “Heart to heart. No bullshit.”

  No bullshit? He had been dishing out self-serving shit since he told Graham goodbye. Now there would be no turning back from what he was about to say. “I love Graham.” Like a parting of clouds during a storm, the declaration cleared any doubts in his mind about their love for each other. “I love him.”

  Honda scoffed. “That’s yesterday’s news. Tell me something new.”

  “I need to tell him?”

  “No shit. You’ve been droopy eyed since he left. Is he still texting you?”

  Fear that he might have blown it with Graham overwhelmed Chris. He hesitated before he answered, “No. Can’t blame him. I never answered back.”

  “You’re such a douche.” Honda perched his sandaled feet on the lower rung of the stool. “You need to do something romantic.”

  Chris rubbed his scarred temple, anxious that it might be too late for earning back Graham’s trust. “And I’m supposed to take advice from you? You who never dates someone for more than a week.”

  “Yeah, but I give them my full attention. Give me a minute.”

  Chris smiled at Honda, who mimicked the Great Thinker. “Is that for my benefit?” He appreciated his friend’s attempt to lighten the mood.

  “Quiet! I’m thinking.”

  “Don’t bruise that brain of yours.”

  “Whatever, smart-ass. Did you come up with anything yet?”

  “This is a guy who has everything.” Chris groaned. “He lives in a penthouse in New York, for fuck’s sake. Has a shitload of money.”

  Honda’s eyes sparkled. “Your resort is sitting on a pile of cash. I’d say you’re even. Your dads lef
t you well off.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t live Graham’s rich and famous lifestyle. He’ll get bored with me. This place…” Chris jerked his hand out, retreating back into his self-deprecating nature.

  “Fuck, stop.” Honda shouted. “This is really about your dads. Stop beating yourself up for not saving them. It wasn’t your fault.”

  Tears welled in Chris’s eyes, and he knuckled them away. “I know but…”

  “You deserve to be loved. Pete and Bob would want this for you. You’re not honoring their memories by being a sniveling coward.”

  Chris drank in Honda’s fighting words and owned them. He glanced at his friend’s sincere gaze. “Okay. I got it.”

  “Good. Pack your bags because you’re going to New York. Graham confessed his love in front of the whole fucking world. You can at least tell him face-to-face.”

  Would showing up at Graham’s office be enough? Chris scratched his head. “I need to think this through.”

  “For once in your life, just do it. If you’re worried about the distance then sell Secretus. Then you’d be free to do whatever the hell you want.”

  Sell the resort? Three years ago Chris would have jumped at the chance to get rid of the responsibility. Now he couldn’t imagine his life without Secretus. Sure. Pete and Bob were the heart and soul, but Chris liked being the custodian. Good at his job, he couldn’t walk away from Secretus, even for Graham. And he was sure Graham would not want this for him.

  “I can’t sell.” Chris stated.

  “You’re choosing Secretus over the person you love?”

  “I want both.”

  “That’s the spirit.” Honda walked over to the front door. “For once, Chris, grab on to what you want without analyzing the situation to death.”

  “You’re right. If it doesn’t work out, I need closure anyway.” Chris joined Honda, glancing at the remaining folders scattered on the desk. “I’ll clean up later.”

  “Well, fuck, dude, that’s a first.”

  Chris ignored Honda’s barb. He probably deserved it. “I’m going to New York,” he said, excitedly. There were many outcomes to consider besides the happily ever after, but for now, he would buy that plane ticket.