by Finn, Emilia
She squirms beneath me, and tenses so much that the muscles in her neck stand out, but she nods and exhales on an explosive burst. “Yes. I’m going to come again.”
“Okay.” I pinch her clit and grit my teeth when she explodes around me. She levitates off the bed and drags me breathlessly closer. My orgasm sits right on the edge, waiting for me to allow its release, waiting for Abigail to finish so I can pull out and jack onto the bed.
Her orgasm tears her apart. It makes her cry out in the most amazing way, and her muscles tense, but her eyes open mid-release when she realizes I’ve stopped moving.
“What are you–” Maybe she can read my mind, or maybe she can see the pain in my eyes, because somehow, she knows that I’m holding back. Pushing off the bed and sitting up, she loops a hand around the back of my head and pulls me back down until we lay against each other. “Come inside me, Spencer. It’s okay.”
“Abigail…”
Another spasm of pleasure makes her pussy clench as she traps her bottom lip between her teeth and grunts. “I promise, it’s okay. You can come.” She squeezes me tight and pulls me in until our lips clash, and my orgasm takes her word over mine.
I roar against her lips and shoot deep inside her. It’s the orgasm that never ends, the explosion that rocks my world as streams of hot come fill her up, and her whimpers turn to cries when my hands hold her hips a little too tight.
My body turns weak, spent and empty when we slow. Heavy breathing is all we hear. Racing hearts.
“You just…” I think I’m turning dizzy, and that’s never happened before. “Fuck.”
Breathlessly giggling, Abigail’s air whistles through lungs I squish, but her hands come to my hair and massage. “That wasn’t as bad as I expected.”
I snort and gather enough strength to nibble on her silky flesh. “Jesus. I should hope not. I pride myself on making sure women enjoy themselves.”
Fuck! Why did I have to say that?
“Spencer Serrano! We don’t talk about that anymore. Geez.”
“I’m sorry.” I capture her mouth, but my heart doesn’t relax until Abigail’s indignation turns to soft laughter and her lips open to accept mine. “I’m sorry. Thank you for trusting me.”
“I love you.” She says it on an adorable pout. She’s not happy about falling in love.
I can’t relate one bit.
“I love you too.” I stroke her soft cheek and smile. “Thank you for coming here.”
“Thank you for being gentle. I heard first times can be really crappy.”
Chuckling, I press one last kiss to her jaw and slowly pull back. “This is probably gonna feel gross, okay? And you might bleed. Don’t panic.”
She gives a nervous, jerky nod and loses the relaxed smile she had a moment ago.
I slowly pull back, continuing to be gentle despite the fact the deed has been done. I move with care, and just before I pull out, I look up and meet her eyes.
“Ready?”
She nods, so I pull out and watch pinkened semen follow and dribble onto the covers.
“Just a tiny bit of blood.”
“Don’t look!” She sits up and tries to shove me away. “That’s way too much looking at my personal business.”
“Oh please. I had my tongue in your personal business twenty minutes ago.”
She jolts so hard, you’d assume I slapped her face.
Laughing, I grab her hand and pull her up. “Bring your personal business and come with me.”
“Where are we going?”
I look back and study her eyes. “Shower with me?”
As predicted, her face drains white.
“I promise I won’t look at anything you don’t want me to look at. You truly have my word.”
“Spencer…” Her voice quivers. “I don’t know.”
“But you should also know, there’s nothing I haven’t seen in my life, and nothing that could change my mind about you. If you don’t want to show me anything, I won’t look. I can get you a tank top to shower in. You can leave your bra on. You can take it off and trust me not to look. The choice is yours. But I promise this isn’t as scary as you think it is.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” she whispers. “I don’t have the kind of body you’re expecting. I don’t look like Ashley Bates, or even Jess and Laine Lenaghan. I… well… I look how you said that first time. I look like a child, like Gumby. I don’t look like what you expect of a twenty-five-year-old woman.”
“Babe.” I turn back and absorb her grunt when she walks into my chest. I hold her up and wait for her eyes. “You broke me. You walked into my world and fucked everything up.”
“Crappy speech.”
I chuckle. “I’m saying that no one has ever walked in and changed the very fabric of my being before. It doesn’t matter to me what your body looks like, because I’m already in love with it. I’m in love with your brain, your heart, the fact you visit sick kids most days, and the fact you took those expensive-ass flowers to Jess and said they were from me. I’m in love with the fact you’re so honest and unfiltered about who you truly are.”
“I’m filtered,” she murmurs. “It took me weeks to tell you about… You know.” She looks down at her chest. “I’m extremely filtered.”
“But your face, Priss. Your beauty. Your personality. You don’t allow anyone to come around and cuss if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“You still cuss.”
I grin. “I know. But I’m working really fucking hard to stop.” I bend lower and press a kiss to her lips. “Trust me with this, okay? Trust me to love you.”
“Don’t make a big deal about it, okay?” She waits for my nod.
“I promise.” I tug her hand a little. “Come on.”
I lead her through the room and into the bathroom without another word. She’s terrified, possibly more so than when she announced she wanted to make love. So I treat her the way I’d fully intended to treat her; like she’s precious, but strong. A diamond that took thousands of hard years to become as resilient and beautiful as it is today.
I pass the mirror above the vanity and lean into the shower. I keep her hand in mine and hold her close before she sprints away, and I use the other to flip the taps on.
I’m naked. She wears a bra.
The shower comes out cold for a second, then gives way to steam as I turn to Abigail and find her teeth chattering from fear.
“It’s gonna be okay, baby. I promise.”
Her eyes flicker between mine. “Eyes up here until I’m ready.” She brings a hand up and points at her face. “I’m begging you.”
I nod and wind my hands around to her back. My fingers find the bra hooks, but my eyes remain on hers. “Pinky promise. And I never break a promise.”
Swallowing, fear clouds her vision for far too long as my hands hover at her back. Finally, she gives me the nod and scrunches her eyes closed.
I unclip her bra and make no comment when it begins to fall and weighs heavy on one side. True to my word, despite the curiosity that eats at my soul, I keep my eyes on hers and drop the bra to the floor without looking. I step closer until our bare chests touch.
She’s insanely warm, soft, and so fucking perfect, I find it hard that she doubts herself.
I press close enough that she knows I can’t see, then I step backwards and bring her into the shower with me. Her breath shudders out, but when I gently stroke her back and nibble on her bottom lip, she relaxes enough to step under the shower, and smiles when the water cascades over our heads and nearly drowns us.
“That’s so warm,” she purrs. “Feels good.” She reaches up and pushes wet hair out of her face.
“Too warm?”
She shakes her head and steps onto her tiptoes. “It’s perfect.” Pressing a gentle kiss to the underside of my jaw, she steps back onto flat feet and swallows. “Okay, you can look, but don’t be weird about it.”
“I’m never weird about shit. You need to trust me more.” I paste
on a fake smile and act like this isn’t sending my heart into a tailspin.
I can barely catch my breath, but I don’t let on about the thoughts that run through my mind. I meet her eyes, though she’s stepped back far enough that I could see if only I looked with my peripherals.
“You ready?”
She stands awkwardly and tucks her hands behind her back. Biting her lip, she finally nods. “I’m ready.”
Slowly, I let my eyes wander down her narrow neck, over her delicate collarbone, the scar just below that from her old port, and then over her left breast. I know the right isn’t the same. I know, because my peripherals insist I look. But I focus on the unscarred side for a moment.
Creamy white skin, the prettiest pink nipple that begs to be tasted. A cute cluster of freckles spans the perfect skin.
But then a scar begins. It’s thick and puckered, drawing my eyes away from perfection and stopping them on flat chest.
They took it. They took her breast and left her with a crude scar that reminds me of… well… my face.
The longer I stare, the more she shakes. Her shoulders bow in defense, her swallows become audible and nervous. Her hands wring, and her knees press together as though to hide her private parts.
“Spencer…”
I bring my eyes to hers. “Can I touch?”
She pauses, as though she never expected me to ask that. “Um… Okay.”
I lower to my knees and do the very thing she asked me not to do; I make it weird. Inching closer and passing through the cascading shower to stop in front of her, I smile when, even on my knees, my eyes are higher than her chest.
I rest my hands on her hips and pull her closer. “Does it hurt still? The scar tissue?”
She gives a jerky nod. “Only on crappy days. If it’s super cold, or I’m extra tired.”
“Does it hurt right now?”
She shakes her head, so I lean forward and press a kiss right over the old stitch marks. Abigail breaks out on a sobbing cry. Surprise, maybe. But not pain.
“You don’t ever have to worry about what I think, baby. Boobs are just dangling tissue and fat, right?”
She shrugs and swipes the tears from her face. “I don’t know. I guess.”
“Do you think it’ll ever grow back?”
“Spencer!” Laughing, she smacks my shoulder and tries to turn away, only to squeal when I nuzzle the soft skin on her belly. I pull her down to straddle my legs, and when she looks at me with a smile and tears in her eyes, I pull her close until our lips touch, and her giggles turn to a groan.
“I love you, Priss. It’s not weird.”
“It won’t grow back.”
“It’s okay. I was never a titty man anyway.” I lean in and nibble on her neck.
It’s a lie, we both know it’s a lie. But now I know this new world of Abigail’s, and it just doesn’t matter to me anymore.
“I can hug a hot water bottle at night; it might feel like a couple of boobs. Or…” I draw the word out and smile. “I could hug you.” I bite her neck and draw a sweet hiss from between her lips. “I know which one I’d prefer. It’s you, Priss. Always you.” I slide my tongue over her aching skin. “Thank you for trusting me.”
22
Spence
My phone vibrates. My watch vibrates. The alarms that surround my home sound off, and drag me out of what was a deep slumber. Abigail sleeps half on top of my chest so her cheek is squished against my pec, and her hair tickles my arm. Her breath fans against my skin and cools the body heat that radiates between us, and her hand clutches my hip like she’s afraid I might run away in the middle of the night.
I couldn’t run from her if I tried. But my phone won’t stop buzzing against the bedside table.
Turning my head only, I slide one hand over Abigail’s back to keep her close, and lean a little to the side to read my texts.
Jay: Jericho!
“Fuck.” I reach across and snatch up my cell, because in mine and Jay’s world, Jericho means someone is dying for real.
Abigail stirs against me, so I hug her close and slide my thumb across the screen. Four texts in a row, all from Jay.
Jay: We’ve gotta move.
Jay: Soph has a location.
Jay: He’s too damn close.
Instead of texting back, I hit dial and wait just two seconds for him to pick up.
“Summarize.”
It’s like I can hear him moving through his home. Rushing around, packing his shit and watching everyone’s back as he moves.
“Soph has been trying to follow this guy electronically. We know he has money, he has means, he has staff. But that’s all we got so far. Which technically ain’t shit. This fucker is slick, but somebody tried to hack the Checkmate system overnight. Whoever he is has tech skills, but not as good as Soph’s.”
I frown and study the ceiling. “He got in?”
“Yeah, but only because Soph let him. She wanted to see what he was looking for, so instead of bouncing him, she let him slide in and take a peek.”
“So what was he looking for?”
Abigail’s sleepy eyes flutter open and draw my gaze down. She’s sleepy after a long night, exhausted after telling me her secrets, and physically drained after giving her body to me. But it takes her only a second to turn from sleepy to suspicious.
Her brows pull close, and her body tenses, but because I don’t want Jay to be alerted to her presence, I gently shake my head and press a kiss to her forehead.
“He took a look at the company files; address, insurance, banking, legal. It’s like he wanted a look at how long Checkmate has been running, who owns and operates it, financial turnover, client list.”
“That’s a lot of information for this guy to have. Why didn’t she bump him out?”
“Because she replaced the real data with information she thought would serve us better. A distraction. She didn’t wanna boot him straight away, because the longer he was in and browsing, the easier it was for her to track him. He’s on the border and less than a day’s drive away.”
“Fuck. He’s getting closer.”
“Yeah, but he knows where we are. He knows our coordinates, so the fact he’s not up our asses is a strategic move on his part. He’s keeping his distance for a reason.”
“Because if we saw him, we’d recognize him?” I ponder. “Or we don’t know him, and he’d like to keep it that way?”
Jay gives nothing but a grunt that sounds a hell of a lot like ‘dunno.’
“What’s the plan?”
A door slams on Jay’s end, the loud crack making Abigail jump. “He has no clue we saw him slide in. He has no clue we know where he is. So we’re going to him.”
“When?”
“Now!” He slams another door and makes Abigail growl. “Today. We’re heading out today. Kane can’t come, he can’t leave Jess and the babies. And Eric can’t leave his kid, since he’s heading into surgery. We’ll grab the others and drag them along. Soph is with me, and she’s got her Romeo on stand-by.”
I hate the way my heart aches when I glance down to Abigail. For the first time in my life, I hesitate to go where ordered. I flinch at the thought of helping a brother at the cost of a girl.
“Is it recon or exterminate?”
“Recon for now. We wanna know who he is, but he hasn’t actually threatened us yet. He’s following us, he wants us to know he’s near, but an admirer isn’t a death threat until it is. We’re going to flip the script and get a look at him too. He knows what we look like, but we have no clue who he is yet. Soph’s working it on her end, tracking his internet or some shit. She might get a hit, I dunno. But while we wait, we’re hitting the road and getting closer.”
“If he knows what you and Kane look like, shouldn’t you maybe stay home? Send me, Soph, and the muscle. We can get closer, and you can stay with Bish.”
“Ha!” he barks. “Not happening. I wanna keep Kane in my pocket. You know there ain’t another man on this planet I love li
ke I love my brother, but there’s no chance in hell I’m letting Soph go without me. No way.”
My eyes drop back to Abigail’s. She can hear everything we say, she knows that I’ve just been given orders to head out, so her insecurities give her away long before the moisture in her eyes.
“Alright. I need to tie some stuff up on my end, but I’ll meet you at Kane’s at noon.”
“Noon? Motherfucker, that’s hours away. We’re not going on vacation here.”
“Noon,” I press. “Not a minute earlier. I have stuff to take care of here.”
“Soph will be watching her,” Jay whispers. “You have my word. We’re meeting the danger head-on, so you don’t have to worry about your florist.”
“Noon.” I hang up before he can say anything else.
I’m not worried about Abigail’s safety, but the fear in her eyes guts me. I’m worried about her heart more than anything else. Her feelings. Her love.
“Umm…”
“Was this an elaborate plan?” she whispers. “Like an emergency phone call to get you out of a bad date? You got everything I had, so now that it’s time for me to go, your friends call you away on a ‘secret mission’?” Her eyes swim. “You’ll pretend to leave, but you’ll actually be at your friend’s house, laughing and waiting for me to take a hint, then you’ll sneak back in a couple hours.”
“Absolutely not.” I pull her back when she tries to dash away. “Abigail, no. You know that’s not true.”
“But you admit you don’t do relationships. You don’t do connections. You don’t do virgins or feelings or people sleeping in your bed all night. I finally give in and do…it…” She stutters. “We had sex, and I told you I loved you. I showed you my chest,” she cries. “And now you’re being called away.”
“You’re feeling vulnerable right now.” I hold her so tight, I’m certain she can’t breathe. But if I let go even a little, she’s going to run. “You’re allowed to feel vulnerable; you’re allowed to feel whatever the fuck you want. But you don’t have to feel insecure about me. I’m not running from you, okay?” I press a firm kiss to her lips that she doesn’t reciprocate. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m stuck, Abigail.” I press another, softer kiss to her lips. “I’m stuck on you, and I don’t ever want to stop feeling this. I have to go away for work today. This is my life. This won’t be the last time I’m called away, but I promise I’ll be back. I just need to take care of stuff, and then I’ll be back. I said you were my girl, right? I said this is different.”
