A Mother for His Twins

by Jill Weatherholt

  “But what if it is?” It was certainly too late for him and his wife. How would Joy react if she found out the truth...that his own children had known their mother was sick, but he hadn’t? Or had he chosen to ignore it? How pathetic.

  Nick flinched when he felt the tender touch of her hand on his own.

  “Please, don’t do this to yourself, Nick. You can’t change the past, but moving forward, you can do things differently.”

  He fought back the tears attempting to release. “I don’t even know where to begin. Sometimes when I see the boys watching their friends with their mothers, the pain in their eyes makes me feel like the worst father in the world.” This was exactly the reason why he had to get the job of principal—all of his time invested back in Chicago, studying and pushing himself at the expense of his family, would have been for nothing if he couldn’t advance his career.

  “You can begin by just talking to them and reminiscing about your wife. When I was their age, I loved when my grandmother and grandfather would tell me and Faith stories about our parents. It made the pain of losing them more bearable. Plus, since we’d been so young when they died, hearing about them made my mother and father more real...if that makes sense.”

  The two sat in silence for a few minutes as they watched Bella and the boys dancing around on the stage.

  “Yes, it does.” Nick cleared his throat and turned toward Joy. “I apologize for dumping all of that on you, but I think I’m beginning to see your point.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “Well, I feel a little better talking with you, so maybe if I try it with Jordan and Tyler, they’ll start to feel good, too.”

  Joy laughed. “I promise you, it will help, but as for an apology, it’s not necessary. You’ve suffered a tremendous loss and raising children on your own can’t be easy.”

  It was the hardest thing he’d ever done apart from burying his wife. “Well, I won’t lie—it’s not, but having good friends helps. Jordan and I would really like for you to go ahead with the lessons.”

  A smile parted her lips. “I’d like that, too. It’s nice to see a child interested in music at such a young age.”

  “His interest is all Michelle’s doing. She loved the piano and encouraged both boys to play. Tyler just didn’t have any interest. He prefers any sport that involves a ball over music.” Nick smiled.

  “When I become principal, I’d really like to expand the music department,” Joy said. “I think it supports all learning. I’ve read studies that indicate musical training can physically develop the left portion of the brain. That’s the side involved with processing language.” She removed her glasses from her head and slid them on when her phone pinged.

  Nick wasn’t sure if he’d heard her clearly or not. “What? You’re interviewing for the position?”

  Joy forced a laughed. “Of course I am. I had assumed you already knew. In fact, according to Mr. Jacobson, I’m your only competition. It’s been my dream to fill my father’s shoes by becoming principal. I’ve been preparing for this job for years. Plus, it won’t be long before I have my master’s degree.”

  “Well, I already have a master’s.” Nick pushed his shoulders back.

  “That’s a nonissue.”

  He shook his head. “Probably not to the school board when they’re determining who is better qualified to hold the job.”

  “I’ll have it before the end of May,” she declared as she sprang to her feet with a face the color of a summertime cherry. “I think we’re done here. I’ve got to get Bella home for dinner.” She hugged her purse close to her stomach.

  Nick sat in the chair as he watched Joy march down the aisle of the auditorium. Taking the steps two at a time, she reached for Bella’s hand and exited the platform faster than an actor with stage fright.

  He shook his head. He should have known better and kept his mouth shut. A few minutes earlier, he thought maybe they could be friends again and move on from the past. If he was honest with himself, there was nothing he wanted more. But that ship had sailed long ago. Actually...sunk was more like it. But he’d come back to Whispering Slopes for a new start for him and his boys. One way or another, he’d eventually right this ship, but in the meantime, he knew there’d be plenty of choppy waters ahead, especially with both competing for the principal position. One thing he knew for sure: he was determined to get this job. Otherwise, all of the long hours and hard work he’d put into obtaining his advanced degree would have been for nothing. But then again, getting this job wouldn’t change the past and bring back Michelle.

  Chapter Four

  Late Thursday afternoon, Joy lit the cinnamon-scented candle resting on the countertop and resumed pacing the travertine tile of her kitchen floor. Anticipating the arrival of her guests, her eyes were glued on the front window. Earlier this morning, when she’d asked Nick what he and the boys were contributing to the school bake sale tomorrow and his face had gone blank, she’d known he’d missed the email. Feeling sorry for him, she’d extended the invitation to him and the twins to come over so they could all bake together. She had to admit, at first a sense of excitement had fluttered in her heart, but now her stomach felt like rubber balls were bouncing inside—maybe because her only contender for the principal job happened to be the most handsome man she’d ever known and the only one who ever made her feel safe.

  The past two days, rehearsing with Nick had proved to be more of a challenge than she had anticipated and the choice of plays certainly wasn’t helping. When Mr. Jacobson suggested Little Red Riding Hood, a shiver had run down Joy’s spine. As a child, she’d been frightened by this fairy tale. After her grandmother had read the story to her and Faith for the first time, she’d checked underneath her bed every night for weeks. Eventually, she told Mamaw she’d rather not hear the story again. Now, as an adult, she had her own real-life “big bad wolf” who continued to haunt her dreams, so many years later. Scotty—the star quarterback. Although she hadn’t seen him since graduation, he’d taken up a permanent space in her memory. She had a feeling Nick had sensed something from her during rehearsal on Tuesday and today. She’d have to make an extra effort to keep her emotions under wraps, otherwise her secret could blow wide-open.

  “What’s the matter, Aunt Joy?” Bella tugged on Joy’s silk crepe blouse and gazed up with doe-like eyes that never failed to melt her heart.

  No. She wouldn’t let her mind wander down that road—not now when she was expecting company. She had to keep her focus and not allow any of those old memories to take hold and ruin everyone’s evening.

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  Bella giggled. “You’ve been looking out that window forever.”

  “I want to make sure I hear our guests when they arrive.”

  “Won’t they ring the doorbell?”

  Her shoulders relaxed, but only for a second. “You’re right—they will.” She’d been relieved when Bella had asked if they could bake together since her mother usually burned the cookies. Her niece and the twins would serve as a good buffer between her and Nick tonight. “What do you say we do a few pieces of the jigsaw puzzle I started on the dining room table?”

  Bella skipped toward the other room. “I love puzzles. Maybe Tyler and Jordan will want to help.”

  “Maybe.” Joy took another peek before joining her niece.

  Ten minutes later the bell rang. Joy’s stomach rolled over like a dog hoping for a good belly scratch.

  “They’re here, they’re here.” Bella sprang from her chair and raced toward the front door.

  Joy followed behind, straightening her hair with one hand and then the other and questioning why she’d ever extended the invitation. She sucked in a deep breath—it was too late now.

  Bella jerked the door open and Joy’s heart raced when she saw Nick and his boys on the porch, holding a bunch of forget-me-nots. Her favorite flower and
the first he’d ever given her when they were thirteen years old. Nick’s father had driven her and his son on their first of many dates to One More Scoop. That night, two nervous teenagers had shared their first kiss.

  “Hi, Bella! Hi, Miss Kelliher!” the boys sang out as they stepped into the foyer.

  “Look what my daddy bwought for you.” Jordan smiled.

  Bella turned to her aunt. “Those are your favorite.”

  Nick handed his cluster to Joy. His face reddened. “I remembered.”

  A fiery heat prickled the back of her neck. How did he remember? It had been so long ago. Her heart ached for a second until she recalled how their story had ended. She reached out for the flowers. “How thoughtful—thank you.” She accepted all three clusters and walked down the hallway toward the kitchen pantry. “Please, come in and make yourself comfortable. I’m going to put these in some water.”

  “I’ll take your coats,” Bella offered. “Do you want to help with our jigsaw puzzle before we start baking?”

  “Sure!” the twins answered.

  “Come on, Daddy.” The boys tugged on their father’s arm.

  The two adults eyed each other.

  “You go ahead, kids. I’ll be in in just a couple of minutes,” Nick said as the children scurried from the room, giggling and whispering.

  With a shaky hand, Joy turned on the faucet and slid the vase underneath the stream of water. The sound of footsteps on the hardwood approached from behind.

  “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

  She gripped the brushed copper handle, shut off the water and turned to face him. “What do you mean?”

  “The flowers—I remembered how happy they’d made you the first time I gave them to you. I just thought... Well, maybe it was a bad idea.”

  Joy’s emotions swirled like fresh snowflakes caught up in a gusty breeze. “I can’t do this, Nick.”

  “What?”

  She ran her hands down the front of her jeans. “I can’t take a trip down memory lane with you.” She needed to keep her memories at bay. Going down that road would lead her to the night she’d tried so hard to forget. Now, fourteen years later, the event flashed through her mind as though it were yesterday, and she was standing in her kitchen with the only person who could have saved her that horrible night.

  A look of disappointment blanketed his face. “There’s no motive behind me buying flowers for you and Bella. It’s just a thank-you for helping me and the boys out—you know, with the baking. I’m sorry if it upset you.”

  If only bringing her wildflowers could erase the past, but that only happened in fairy tales. “Let’s forget it. We’re here for the children. We don’t want to ruin the evening for them by dredging up the past.”

  Three hours and eight dozen cookies later, both the kitchen floor and the children were a mess. Joy had decided to forgo her obsession with neatness. She wanted the kids to have a little fun. In the end, a battle broke out with handfuls of flour tossed in every direction. Even she and Nick had joined in. She couldn’t remember the last time her house had been filled with so much laughter. Who was she kidding? Without a family of her own to fill the rooms, her house was typically silent. Several times she’d caught Nick staring at her with the dreamy smile that had first captured her heart.

  “Don’t worry—I’ll help you clean up this mess. I remember how you like everything in order.” Nick’s lips parted into an easy smile, causing Joy’s heart to beat a tiny bit faster.

  “Are you saying I’m a neat freak?”

  He laughed. “You said it... I didn’t.”

  With the cookies baked and wrapped up for the sale tomorrow, the children had gone back to the jigsaw puzzle in the other room. Joy busied herself wiping down the granite countertops with a warm dishcloth.

  Nick slowly approached the opposite side of the island and placed his hand over hers. She wanted to pull away, but it was like a magnetic force. That was the way their relationship had always been. They could never spend a moment apart from one another—until they were left with no choice.

  “I wanted to apologize for how I acted on Tuesday, after rehearsal.” His crystal eyes shimmered under the pendant lighting. “My comment to you about not having children was completely out of line and totally insensitive.”

  Finally breaking their connection, she pulled her hand away and stuffed it into the pocket of her jeans, safe from his warm touch. The subject of children was off-limits, as it would only result in Nick learning the truth of why she didn’t have any of her own. And then what? His pity... That was the last thing she needed or wanted. “It’s already been forgotten.” She squirmed at her own fib.

  Nick mauled his unshaven chin with his hand. “Since losing Michelle, trying to do what’s best for the boys has been my number one priority, but many times I think I’ve been putting myself first by not talking to them about their mother. It’s easier to brush my own mistakes under the rug by avoiding the topic altogether.”

  Joy completely understood how Nick felt when it came to talking about his wife with the boys. After all, she was the queen of brushing issues under the carpet. Even so, despite all that had happened in their past, her heart ached for his situation. Some of her previous students had fathers raising children on their own, so she knew the challenges. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can.”

  Outside, a coyote’s howl broke the silence that hung in the air.

  “I haven’t heard that sound in years. We didn’t have a lot of coyotes in Chicago.”

  “Do you miss it—the city?” Joy couldn’t imagine living in a large metropolitan area. Whispering Slopes cradled her like a safe cocoon.

  Nick shook his head. “Not in the least. My heart has always belonged to the Shenandoah Valley. After I married Michelle I tried to talk her into moving back here, but she was a city girl...born and raised.”

  Joy was relieved he hadn’t come back with his new wife. Back then, she never would have been strong enough to witness Nick with another woman. Not to mention seeing him start a family. Even now, with so many years behind them, watching him with children was a perpetual reminder of what could have been and a more scorching pain of what would never be.

  * * *

  Nick observed Joy as she busied herself at the kitchen sink. She looked as beautiful as he remembered, except an ever-present sadness in her eyes had replaced the sparkle that was once there. Since he’d returned to Whispering Slopes, he couldn’t help but wonder what his life—their life together—would have been like if he hadn’t been forced to leave. He knew he couldn’t keep torturing himself with the what-ifs. It is what it is. Wasn’t that what everyone said? Personally, he never liked that saying.

  “I suppose we should order the pizza now.”

  Joy’s words pulled him back into the moment.

  “Sounds good—I’m starved. I might have to talk with Faith and Joshua about hiring out Bella. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the boys this quiet.” His chair scratched along the hardwood floor as he rose from the table.

  Joy wiped her hand on a checkered dish towel and flung it onto the kitchen counter. “We’d better go check on them.”

  As the adults entered the dining room, the children had their heads buried in the scattered puzzle pieces.

  “Come see how much we’ve done, Daddy,” Jordan said, tearing his eyes away from their masterpiece, but only for a second.

  Joy took a seat next to her niece while Nick slipped into the last empty chair in between Bella and Tyler. Outside, a gust of wind rattled the windowpanes.

  “You kids work well together.” Nick smiled, happy to see his sons enjoying themselves.

  “Hey, we should be a team for the snowman making at the winter festival,” Bella chirped.

  “What’s that?” Tyler looked up from the puzzle.

 
Joy glanced at Nick. “You’ve seen the emails, haven’t you?”

  Since his first day, he’s been scrolling through page upon page of messages sent through the school’s email system. He couldn’t recall receiving this many back in Chicago. Truth be told, he was having a difficult time keeping up with all of them. Obviously he needed to do a better job at that. Never big on some of the advances in technology, he preferred face-to-face conversations and handwritten letters over email. “I don’t think I have.”

  “Well, the winter festival is mandatory for all teachers. They expect our attendance since it’s sponsored by the school. It’s a good way for the teachers to show the kids they know how to have fun, too,” Joy explained. “It’s a week from this Saturday.”

  “Don’t worry, Mr. Nick—you’ll have fun. It’s at our inn, the Black Bear. There’s going to be pony rides, downhill ski races, sleigh rides...everything!” Bella turned toward the twins. “So do you want to pair up? Every team gets to pick a charity and Buser’s General Store is going to donate five thousand dollars for the winning team. I think Mrs. Buser is rich.” Bella giggled. “We picked the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation for our donations because of Sherida.”

  The twins’ heads pivoted toward Nick. “Can we go, Daddy? Please...”

  Before Michelle had gotten sick, he’d never heard of the disease. Now someone close to Joy was living with it. Was this God’s way of making sure he didn’t forget what a bad husband he’d been? Nick looked toward his excited boys then turned to Joy. “Who’s Sherida?”

  “She’s Faith and Joshua’s marketing director and their first official hire when they opened the inn. She’s been living with Crohn’s disease for the past four years. She recently started a new medication and is responding quite well.” Joy smiled.

  Nick’s shoulders tensed. Hearing that this woman was living a normal and productive life with the disease sent a shock wave through his body.