A Mother for His Twins

by Jill Weatherholt

  “What does?” Joy asked as she wiped down the stainless-steel pot with a dish towel.

  Nick slipped back into his chair and skimmed through the pages of the publication. “The newspaper... It’s been years since I’ve seen a copy. I must have pedaled my bicycle for hundreds of miles when I delivered this as a young boy.”

  She turned, wearing a smile. “I remember Mrs. Morris always yelled at you for throwing the paper in her flower garden,” Joy added.

  He’d forgotten about that and the reminder made him smile. “Yeah, my aim wasn’t the best, but I had to stay on schedule. I only had an hour to deliver through the entire town. I didn’t want to be late to school.”

  As he turned to page three, his eye caught the headline, “Whispering Slopes Former Star Quarterback Killed in Boating Accident.”

  “Joy, did you see this article?”

  She turned slightly as she loaded the silverware in the dishwasher. “No, I haven’t had a chance to look at the paper today.”

  “Remember Scotty Brammer, the star quarterback of our high school?”

  Nick flinched at the loud clattering of dishes. “You okay over there?” He stared over his shoulder and observed Joy with her hands clutched to the corner of the countertop.

  “I—I’m fine. What about him?”

  He turned his attention back to the article. “He was killed in a boating accident in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. It also says he’d been awaiting trial— This is unbelievable.”

  “What is it, Nick? What does it say?”

  “Apparently he’d been accused of assaulting a student at the school where he worked as the girls’ soccer coach.”

  Before Nick knew what was happening, Joy bolted across the room and snatched the paper from his hands.

  “Let me see!” she exclaimed and took an empty seat.

  Nick watched the blood drain from her face. Her hands shook violently as her eyes scanned the page.

  “No!” Joy screamed and shoved away from the table. She headed toward the back door and took off into the cold rain, leaving her crutches behind.

  Why on earth was she reacting this way? Had there been something personal between Joy and Scotty after he’d left town? He grabbed his coat from the foyer closet and yelled toward the family room. “Kids, I’ll be right back.” Nick slid his arms into the sleeves of his leather jacket. Outside, the inky sky released icy drops of rain that peppered his face. His feet skidded under slushy leaves as he went in search of Joy and answers.

  Chapter Ten

  Fat raindrops splattered against Joy’s face as her pace slowed to a limp. Ignoring the pain, she continued to move down the coal-black path toward the shed. The Ace bandage around her foot, now caked with mud, loosened with each step. The piercing pain shooting through her ankle couldn’t compare to how she’d felt when Nick had read the article about Scotty.

  Memories of the night Nick had left town bubbled to the surface. A young girl so scared and feeling alone in the world. Why had she gotten into the car with Scotty? She’d been angry with Nick, but was that reason enough to have such poor judgment? Hadn’t she smelled alcohol on his breath?

  Why are You allowing this to happen, Lord?

  What was she thinking? He didn’t allow this—she did. She’d made the life-changing decision that night. And now because of her reckless actions, another young girl had been attacked—maybe more. Why hadn’t she gone to the police? She could have spared this child the pain. Now the girl would endure the same everlasting shame that hung like a low-lying fog over a mountain valley...for the rest of her life.

  Joy yanked open the shed’s cedar door, entered, then pulled it closed with hopes of trapping the memories on the other side of the wall, but they were forever singed inside the layers of her brain. Reaching for the lock, she remembered it was broken—just one of a million other things on her list in need of attention. Everything had gone on the back burner until she finished up her master’s studies. Soaking wet, she dropped to the floor between the lawn mower and large sacks of potting soil. She inhaled the scent of cedar and her grandfather’s face flashed through her mind. He’d always smelled like it. Through the sounds of the howling wind, she heard Nick’s voice calling out for her.

  “Joy! Are you in there?”

  No. Don’t come in here, Nick. I’m too ashamed to share this with you.

  The doorknob turned and she wanted to disappear between the cracks of the dusty wooden floor. The door squeaked as he pushed it open and a gust of wind blasted into the room. Her world spiraled out of control. Everything she’d tried to keep secret would be exposed if he came inside. She brushed the wet matted hair away from her eyes. The swishing of his jeans sounded and then his muddy shoes stood in front of her.

  “Please... I’m begging you, Nick—go away.”

  He knelt, his face washed with concern. “Joy, tell me what’s wrong. I want to help you.” Despite the cold rain, his hand felt warm when he placed it on her cheek. Her heart gave a little leap as old feelings simmered inside, but she quickly attempted to push them away.

  “You can’t help me—no one can.” The tears streamed down her cheeks. She swallowed hard, remembering that night. “You’re too late. Don’t you see?” She wanted to turn back the clock, erase that evening from her past.

  He ran his hands through his rain-soaked hair as he studied her in search of an answer. “Late? For what?” He took a seat next to her and stared at the side of her face. “Why did you react to the article that way? Did you date Scotty after I left?”

  Her blood froze at the sound of his name. Date? “No!” The young man who’d turned her world upside down and transformed her into a woman who found it impossible to trust men. She’d never been able to have a lasting relationship, mainly because she felt unworthy—broken—used. “Nick, I’m begging you—please don’t mention him to me...ever.” Her shoulders quivered.

  Nick placed his hands on her arms. “What on earth is going on? I want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t open up to me.”

  A howling wind rattled the shingles on the roof as his eyes pleaded for an answer.

  “Come on, Joy. It’s me, Nick.”

  She lifted her eyes and held his gaze. Could he help her? Her heart said yes, but would telling him shatter what was left of their relationship? The salty tears ran into the corners of her mouth. She raked the back of her hand across her lips. “That night...you were supposed to meet me.”

  “I know, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. My father picked me up after work. He had the car all packed and we headed straight for Chicago.”

  If she’d meant anything to him, he would have insisted his father bring him to the pond—if only to say goodbye. “But if you’d at least come by...he wouldn’t have...”

  “He, who? Talk. I can help.”

  Her words strangled her breath and she coughed. Shaking, she wrapped her arms around her chest, unable to tell him the events of the night. She couldn’t go down that dark road.

  “I’m not leaving until you tell.” He pressed his back against the cedar wall.

  She sucked in a deep breath and released. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “You’re so upset. Of course it does.”

  “You weren’t there for me and that’s a fact that will never change.”

  “You’re right—I wasn’t there, but I’m here now. Tell me...is this all because I left without saying goodbye?” His question echoed.

  If only it were that simple. She wiped her cheeks with the back of each hand. “We’ve got to get back inside with the children.” She had to break free from his questions.

  “They’re working a puzzle and watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. They’ll be fine.”

  She’d carried this secret for so many years, it had left her physically and mentally exhausted. Was this the reason God had brought
him back to Whispering Slopes, so she’d no longer have to carry this weight? Keeping it bottled up had only made her feel like a pressure cooker, ready to explode. “The night, at the pond, I waited for you...” Chills ran down her back as she recalled the sound of leaves crunching. Footsteps. It was her one and only love, coming to meet her, just as he’d promised. But when she’d turned, the smile she’d worn all evening had slid from her face.

  “Go on.” Nick leaned toward her.

  Bile moved up in the back of her throat. “I heard someone coming.” She recalled the thick cloud cover that hung low that evening. “It was so dark, but I assumed it was you—since you promised to meet me.”

  “Joy...who was it?”

  She hesitated, then turned away quickly before dry heaving into her hand.

  Silence consumed the cold and damp shed.

  “Scotty,” she whispered.

  “Was he meeting Lisa?”

  Joy had thought the same thing when he’d appeared out of nowhere. Lisa was the captain of the cheerleading squad and his longtime girlfriend. They’d been going together since freshman year. Of course that was who he’d be meeting—or so she’d thought.

  “Joy? Was Lisa at the pond, too?”

  She could only shake her head. The shame that weighed on her shoulders felt like she’d been treading water for years in the middle of the ocean with a life jacket made of lead. She inhaled a deep breath and released. “I’d waited for over an hour. I was angry at you for not showing up. It had started to rain when Scotty asked if I wanted to go get a slice of pizza.” Joy wiped a tear that ran down her cheek. “We walked to his car. I got inside. It was my fault.”

  Joy flinched when Nick’s hand rested on her shoulder.

  “It was only pizza, Joy. Besides, I left you waiting. I don’t blame you for going with Scotty... Just forget about it.” He got to his feet and reached for her hand. “Come on. Let’s go back to the house.”

  She jerked her hand free. “I can’t forget, Nick. I smelled the alcohol on his breath, but I still went with him.”

  Nick dropped back to his knees, and his brow crinkled. “He’d been drinking?”

  Joy shivered as she recalled how hurt she’d been. Once inside Scotty’s car, she’d buckled her seat belt, hoping Nick would show up and find her gone. “I wanted to get back at you.”

  “What happened, Joy?”

  After all these years, the sound of Scotty’s windshield wipers swishing against the window as he drove past the Pizza Shack remained fresh in her mind. “He didn’t take me out for pizza.” Her eyes peppered with more tears as she wrapped her arms around her waist, willing that horrible night from her head. “He drove to the old McAllister farm.” She remembered his cold and glassy eyes, filled with hate, as Scotty told her Lisa had broken up with him.

  “The McAllisters’? That place had been abandoned for—”

  Unable to make eye contact with Nick, Joy stared at the cedar floor, emotionless. Her only love, he’d never think the same of her again.

  With a swift movement, she was in his arms. She knew then that he’d realized what had happened to her.

  “I’m so sorry, Joy,” he sobbed.

  Nick wouldn’t let go, and for the first time since that night, she felt safe. His embrace was a balm to her wounded heart.

  His face buried into her shoulder. “I should have been there. If I had, this never would have happened.”

  She pulled away and eyed his red, splotchy face. A part of her was relieved he knew, but had she been wrong to put this guilt on him after all these years? He couldn’t have known what was going to happen. Besides, he had to go with his family. His father needed him. Joy shook her head. “No, I made the decision to get in the car with Scotty. I have only myself to blame.”

  They sat in silence for a moment as Nick ran his fingers through her damp, tangled hair.

  “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Joy.”

  “I know you are. But it’s all in the past. Time heals—isn’t that what they say?” She hadn’t healed. Instead, she’d become an expert at compartmentalizing. She’d placed those memories into a special box and shoved it to the far corner of her mind. She’d never sought professional help to deal with the events of that night. What was the point? She’d made the choice that would define who she was for the rest of her life.

  “Did you go to the police?”

  Pieces of the night flickered in her mind. Scotty had driven her home. Neither had spoken a word, until he pulled up to the curb in front of her house. “See you in school on Monday.” His words held no remorse. The hours that followed she had stood in the shower, fully clothed, and had desperately willed the water to wash away the horrific events of the evening. She’d scrubbed until she thought her skin would bleed, but she couldn’t make herself pure like the girl she’d been when she woke up that morning. “No, I was too ashamed.” When Joy had seen Scotty the next day in school, he’d threatened to spread rumors about her. How she’d been the one who came on to him, not the other way around. No one would believe her. He’d been the most popular kid in school. “I just wanted it all to go away.”

  He placed his hand under her chin and tilted her head. “Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you, but you’ve got to stop blaming yourself. Scotty was intoxicated. You had no way of knowing he’d be capable of something so horrific.”

  “I know it wasn’t his character. He’d been voted Best All-Around our junior year. Do you remember?”

  Nick nodded as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

  Slowly her eyes connected with his, causing her heartbeat to accelerate. “I just wish you’d come to the pond that night.”

  He paused and leaned closer. His breath warmed her cheek and he took her into his arms. “I do, too, Joy. You have no idea how bad I wanted to be there.”

  She could easily get lost in the moment and allow herself to get carried back to a happier time. But those happy memories had been buried deep. What she’d discovered after that night ran far deeper than she’d ever allow Nick to know. As much as she longed to stop time and stay in his arms forever, she tore herself from his embrace, leaving his tender touch a distant memory.

  “I’m sorry, Joy. I didn’t—”

  Springing to her feet, she raced to the door, not allowing her twisted ankle to impede her escape. She couldn’t stay with Nick another minute. No matter how much she wanted to once again feel his lips against hers, their love story had ended that night at the pond. She had learned in the worst way possible that, in life, there was no such thing as a happy ending.

  * * *

  On Sunday evening the agonizing guilt Nick had lugged around since the previous weekend, when he’d learned about the assault, felt like a suitcase filled with cement blocks. It had been magnified on Tuesday during their rehearsal when he’d realized why she had an aversion to Little Red Riding Hood. The Big Bad Wolf had been a constant reminder of Scotty. He’d asked Joy if he should speak with Mr. Jacobson about doing another play, but she’d insisted it was too late to start again—just like it was too late for them.

  He couldn’t stop thinking about what Joy had revealed to him in the shed. His failure to meet her at the pond had put her through the worst possible torture he couldn’t begin to imagine. Now he was back trying to steal her dream job. He had to make things right between the two of them. At least this was one mistake in his life there could still be time to fix. He had a plan for both of them to get what they wanted and that was the reason for their dinner tonight. He had to remind himself it wasn’t a real date, as that could lead to something more serious. He’d already learned he wasn’t marriage material.

  “Daddy, what time are Miss Kelliher and Bella coming?” Tyler asked from across the kitchen.

  “They should be here any moment, son.” When Nick had invited Joy out
for dinner, to discuss an idea he had, he wasn’t sure if she’d agree. At first she said she couldn’t because even though Faith had been discharged from the hospital, Bella was coming over for a girls’ night sleepover, but he figured that was only an excuse. He knew the night in the shed had been emotionally draining for her. For a moment, when he’d held her close, he’d felt that familiar connection. When she’d abruptly pulled away, he assumed she had as well. It had taken him by surprise—and created concern. He wasn’t good enough for her... She deserved so much better than someone like him.

  Moments later when the doorbell sounded, Nick’s heart skipped a beat in anticipation of seeing Joy. Tonight would be the first night in years they would spend alone. He had to admit, he had a few butterflies.

  The boys took off toward the front door to greet their friend. Nick trailed behind as his pulse raced.

  Tyler peeked out of the living room window and his shoulders dropped. “Oh, man, it’s only the babysitter.”

  Nick wasn’t sure about Mrs. Whipple’s age, but she’d been offering babysitting services since he’d been a young boy.

  Jordan opened the door. “Hello, ma’am.”

  Mrs. Whipple clutched her tiny pocketbook in one hand and a tote bag overflowing with yarn and knitting needles in the other. Her hair was snow-white, as it had always been. “Hello there. You’re certainly a polite young man.” She stepped inside. “I’m Mrs. Whipple and what is your name?”

  “Johdun.” He pointed to Tyler, who was climbing on the sofa. “That’s Tyluh.”

  “Oh, my, twins are such fun.” She winked at Nick.

  “Welcome to our home. Please, come inside.” Nick gazed at her full hands. “Can I take either of those for you?”

  “Yes, thank you. Your home is so beautiful, but it could use a woman’s touch,” she said as she scanned the room.

  They headed back into the kitchen and Nick stowed her things on the corner desk. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve added one more child to the mix tonight, Bella Carlson.”