by Laura John
He smiles and nods. “I would love to. Holding you is my favorite way to sleep.”
My heart does a funny flip, but something in the back of my mind is telling me to be careful. But how can I be careful when a super sexy man is telling me he cares for me and loves holding me? He doesn’t pressure me for more, but maybe he will eventually.
I close my eyes and quickly push those thoughts from my head. He is not Olivia’s father; he isn’t just trying to get into my pants. Why would he want to post about us and tell the world if he was just wanting a hookup? This has to mean more to him than that. I have to mean more to him than that.
I smile at that thought; Dustin smiles back at me.
I’m allowed to be happy. I can have a life full of love and laughter. My past doesn’t define me. This can be my life.
Now just tell that to my brain, which keeps shooting me warning messages.
Climbing into bed with Dustin feels right. Our bodies fit together perfectly, kind of like we were meant to be together.
I snuggle into his chest and breathe in his scent. He smells like…home. I close my eyes.
Please let this last, I pray.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to get over it if I lose him.
Waking up with Crystal in my arms is the best way to start any day. I want to make this an everyday thing. But asking to move in with Crystal now would be too soon.
Things feel rushed, but not. Like my feelings for her. In all honesty, this has been three years in the making, so it’s not rushed at all. I know I’m falling for her and there’s no stopping it. I just hope she’ll keep her walls down and let me get further in.
I’m sick of sitting on the sidelines with her. I’m not afraid of these emotions. I just want her to let go, let me in, and stop being afraid.
Crystal rolls over and places her head on my chest.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I tell her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
“I need coffee,” she grumbles.
Note to self: she is not a morning person. I kind of already knew that though.
I smile. “You hop in the shower; I’ll go make the coffee. Remember, we’re taking that selfie and I’m telling the world about the girl I’m crazy about.”
Her hair is covering her face, but I can tell she’s blushing.
I give her one more kiss before leaving to start the coffee. I pour the grinds in to the coffee maker and press start when my phone pings a couple of times.
Blocked: I want you.
Blocked: You need to be mine.
Because the number is blocked, I can’t tell who it’s from, but I feel like this is connected to the notes and gifts I got on my tour.
I need to talk to Kyle about this, so I back out of the text and call him.
“What’s up, man?” he says by way of greeting.
“I got another text,” I tell him. “We need to change my number. I’m kind of starting to freak out. I’ve never had a stalker like this before.”
I hear him sigh. “Call the cell phone company and get your number changed. Now. I’ll call our security guys and see what they say we should do. Are you sure I can’t convince you to get security 24/7 for a little bit?”
“It will only freak Crystal out, and we’re just starting to find our footing. I don’t want her to run. I’d rather keep this between us for right now, okay?”
He grumbles something, but agrees to keep it on the down-low for now.
“More bacon pwease,” Olivia says around a mouthful of food.
I smile and kiss her cheek. “Why don’t you finish what’s on your plate first?”
She nods and shoves more food in her mouth.
“You are really amazing with kids,” Crystal says.
I look up, and my breath is taken away. Crystal has her hair curled and a soft, but smoky, makeup going on. It makes her eyes pop, but still looks very natural.
“You look amazing, baby,” I tell her, walking over to pull her in for a kiss.
She quickly pulls away, and I give her a funny look.
“Sorry,” she whispers. “I’m not sure how we should act around Olivia. She’s almost four and I don’t want to confuse her.”
“She knows I love her, and you. It’s not confusing,” I say.
Crystal’s eyes go wide.
Shit. Did I just tell her I love her?
I mean, it’s not a lie. Looking back, I’ve loved her for a long time. We’re not just friends. Honestly, I’m not sure if we’ve ever really been just friends. Friends don’t act the way we do.
“I’m sorry that wasn’t very romantic,” I tell her, grabbing her hands. “But it’s true, Crystal. I love you, and I’ve loved you for a long time. I’m not shying away from my affection for you, ever. Especially not in front of Olivia. I want her to know how much I love her and her mother. You guys are a package deal and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
She blushes and looks down.
“You don’t have to say it back.” I kiss her again. “Let’s take that selfie.”
She bites her lip, staring at me for a moment before she nods, a small smile appearing on her lips.
I grab my phone from my pocket and put my arm around her.
“Say cheese,” I tell her before snapping the picture.
We both look at it and I smile, a feeling of pure joy in my heart. “It’s perfect.”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s okay.”
She’s acting like it’s not awesome, but there is a smile teasing her lips. She loves this as much as I do.
“Happiness finds you when you least expect it. Hashtag, off the market. Hashtag, happy. Hashtag, my girlfriend. Hashtag, relationship goals.” I say what I’m writing out loud.
I put my phone back in my pocket and give Crystal a deep kiss. “It’s official, baby. I’m all yours.”
She smiles and pushes me off of her. “I need coffee.”
I laugh and go to pour her a cup.
“Do you live here now?” Olivia asks Dustin around a bite of muffin.
I choke on my coffee. Dustin shoots me a panicked look, and I honestly have no idea how to respond.
It’s been a little over a week since Dustin made his official post about our relationship. Girls around the world are crying.
He’s been here pretty much every night. Neither one of us wants to sleep alone. It just feels better together. But we haven’t had a conversation about him moving in.
“Not really, but maybe one day. Would you like it if I lived here?” he asks her.
That was a much better response than I probably would have come up with. I do feel like it’s definitely something she should have a say in.
She nods with a big smile. “I like seeing you all the time.”
She turns her attention back to the TV, and I smile, glad the conversation is over for now. I know Dustin and I will have to talk about this now. I just wanted to live in our happy little bubble for the time being. Why do things have to move so fast?
“I want to see a weal monkey,” Olivia says, pointing to the monkey on the TV.
“Why don’t we go to the zoo?” Dustin says.
I freeze.
“Mommy, mommy, pwease!” Olivia whines.
I shoot Dustin a glare. Seriously? Why in the hell did he have to bring that up? Now Olivia wants to go, and her stupid puppy dog eyes have a hold on me. It’s not that I hate the zoo, but this will be our first outing together since Dustin and I made things official.
I don’t know if I want Olivia in the public eye, but if Dustin is going to be a part of our lives, I guess that’s going to happen sooner or later.
“Fine,” I finally concede.
I have to get over it sometime. Let’s see how this goes.
“Monkey!” Olivia shrieks.
I smile. I was nervous about being in public with Olivia and Dustin, but the day has been perfect. The weather is amazing: not too hot, but not cold. And so far, no meltdowns from Olivia.
My
feet are going to be tired at the end of the day, but from the giant smile on Olivia’s face, it will be worth it.
We saw the bears and zebras first, then moved on to birds. Next, we saw the hippo, which Olivia thought was so cool. Now, we are at the exhibit she wanted to see the most: the monkeys.
We feel like a regular family just on a day out. There are people chattering all around us, and it’s like we belong. So far, no one has stopped Dustin to ask for an autograph or picture. They either don’t recognize him or they are giving us our space.
Olivia jumps up and down, trying to get a good look at the monkeys swinging in the trees. Dustin sees, so he leans down to pick her up so she can see better. She giggles when he places her on his shoulders.
“I so tall!” Olivia exclaims with pure joy.
I feel my heart wanting to explode from my chest. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this happy.
I feel like I should be nervous with Olivia up so high, but I’m not. First of all, Dustin is so strong, he could probably hold me on his shoulders. Second, I know he would never hurt Oliva. He really does love her.
Speaking of love…I still haven’t told Dustin I love him back. I was so shocked when he told me that I couldn’t think straight.
I know that I love him. But am I in love with him? Probably. But I want to tell him when it’s right.
“Say cheese,” I tell them, taking a picture. Both of their smiles are so bright. I look at my phone and smile too.
“Let’s go get ice cream,” Dustin says, and Olivia lets out another joyous squeal.
He is so amazing with her. Always knowing what to do to make her smile, and in return make me smile.
Today is perfect.
Olivia is finally asleep. Today has really been a great day.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out.
I see that it’s a text from Nina, so I delete it. I’ve already said my piece. I don’t really need to hear anything else from her. I must have accidently sent her my new number when I sent out the mass text telling my friends that I needed to change it.
I told Crystal that it was because a reporter got my number and wouldn’t leave me alone. I hate lying to her, but I also don’t want to have her worrying about me. And I definitely don’t want to scare her away over this.
“The princess is asleep,” I tell Crystal as I come down the hall.
“Thank you for doing bedtime. She really loves you.”
Crystal’s smile is the best thing to see every day.
“And I love her.” I sit down next to her on the couch and pull her into my side. “It was a pretty awesome day.”
“It really was. The way Livvy’s face lit up at the monkeys. I wish I would have taken a picture of that. It was pure joy.” She smiles, leaning into me.
Crystal’s phone starts buzzing, and she grabs it from the couch.
I look over her shoulder and silently curse.
A picture of the three of us is on TMZ. It’s a great picture, and honestly, the headline isn’t that bad.
Dustin Maxx now a stepdad?
It was clearly taken some point earlier today at the zoo.
“Can’t people just mind their own business?” Crystal mumbles.
“Hey, it’s not a bad picture. Honestly, it could have been worse,” I tell her.
She shoots me daggers. “Easy for you to say. She’s not your daughter. You don’t have to worry about her well-being. She was already asking questions. Now what’s going to happen when kids at her preschool ask her about this?”
“I may not have donated the sperm to make her, but she is my fucking daughter, Crystal!” I get up from the couch, needing to move. “I have loved her since she was an infant. I have been there for everything. Her first words. The first time she crawled. Her first steps. Everything. She may not be my flesh and blood, but she is mine! I won’t treat her like a stepchild, because in my mind, she isn’t one. And how dare you say I don’t worry about her well-being? You know I would never do anything to purposely put her in danger. I’m sorry that someone took her picture, but you know this is a part of my life.” I run a hand over my face, frustrated and angry. “If you don’t want this, then tell me now, Crystal. I’ve been waiting on the edge for you for years, and I can’t wait anymore. Either let me in or let me go.”
I finally look at Crystal again, and she’s crying. I feel like a piece of shit.
“I’m scared!” Crystal shouts. “I know you love her. I’m sorry I implied that you don’t. But this is difficult, okay?”
I sit down and pull her into my arms. “This is my life. Photographers and paparazzi taking my picture without my knowledge are part of it. I don’t like it, but I can’t change it. I will do everything I can to protect her, but there will be times when her photo gets out. I can’t prevent that. But I can promise you that she’ll never be in danger.”
She nods into my chest. “I believe you; I don’t want to let you go. I’m sorry I’m difficult. Please don’t give up on me.”
I kiss her head. “I will never give up on you.”
“So, have you done the deed yet?” Maribelle asks, setting a coffee on my desk.
I smile and shake my head, picking up the cup. “Thank you for this. This morning was a bit hectic and I didn’t have time to grab one. That new country artist is supposed to be in soon and I wanted to show her around.”
She gives me a mischievous smile.
“What?” I ask after taking a sip of the precious liquid.
“Couldn’t get out of bed, huh?” She wiggles her eyebrows at me, making me groan.
“No. We haven’t even, um, done that.” I stutter over my words.
She gasps.
I roll my eyes. “I’m not like you and just jump in the sack with any guy.”
“But he’s not any guy. He’s your boyfriend. You’ve been dating for, what, almost a month? And you guys have been playing this ‘we’re just friends’ game for over three years.”
I sigh. She’s not wrong, and it’s not that I don’t want to. God, I do. When he’s holding me at night, caressing my sides, it’s like heaven. I’ve had to change my panties every morning because he turns me on so much. But he’s a gentleman and he’s waiting for me to give him the green light. And I don’t want to disappoint him.
I also think that I still have an underlying fear that once I sleep with him, he’s going to leave me just like Gavin did.
“Well, he’s waited this long. What’s a little bit longer?” I joke. “Tell me when Cara gets in, please.”
She nods and walks out, and I open my emails, hoping to get a little work done before Cara gets in.
I’m almost done checking my emails when Maribelle knocks on the door. “Cara is here.”
“Thank you. I’ll be right out.”
I walk out and see a stunningly gorgeous woman. Her hair is long, glossy, and chestnut brown. I have some serious hair envy.
She smiles at me, and her gorgeous green eyes light up. If I was into women, she would most definitely be my type.
She pulls me in for a hug as soon as I get close enough.
“Sorry,” she apologizes as soon as she lets me go. “I’m a hugger.”
I smile. “It’s totally okay. Thanks for coming in today. I’m so glad you’re joining the team. You’re our first country artist, but honestly, I can tell already you are going to be a perfect fit here.”
She smiles some more. I don’t know how she can smile so much, but it’s almost contagious.
“I’m so excited you guys accepted me. I’m really close friends with Tyler, the drummer from the Broken Hearts, and now Outspoken Chaos, and he raved about everyone here.”
I smile. Tyler is a sweetheart, and good friends with Tia. But I’m not that close with him. Maybe it’s the age gap? Or maybe it’s that he is so quiet.
“So, I’m going to show you around the office, even though you probably won’t be here a lot, and then I’ll introduce you to your personal team.”
“I’m so excited!” she beams.
I can’t help but feel the same.
“And here is the meeting room. I’ll call for your PR rep, talent manager, and Tia to join us.”
As I walk out of the room, Maribelle is standing there looking worried. “Tia wants to see you in her office. It’s an emergency.”
I nod. “Can you please get Abby to join Cara so they can start chatting? I’ll be back shortly. Hopefully.”
She nods, and I walk off to Tia’s office. When I get there, I’m a little confused to find that Leah is there as well.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on maternity leave?” I ask her, peeking in on Edward, who is asleep in a little bouncy chair.
“Yes, but this is important. You are going to want to sit.”
I nod and sit down. “So, what’s going on?”
“First, I want to tell you that I have told Tia some information that you told me and Johnny when you came over a while back.”
I freeze, feeling a course of anger shooting through my body. Why would she do that? I told her that in confidence.
“Before you get angry, let me explain. I never would have told her anything had we not received a very concerning email.”
I stare at her with a blank face. What does she mean, a very concerning email?
“As you know, there have been lot of pictures of you and Dustin floating around. By the way, you guys make a very cute couple. I’m sorry to say your mother has seen these pictures and has emailed Dustin asking for money,” Tia says
The blood in my body turns cold. Oh, no. No. This is bad. Very bad.
“All emails sent to Dustin’s public account go through me first, and…well, did you know your mother took some…” She pauses for a second, closing her eyes. “Some horrendous videos of you?”
I feel the tears falling down my face as I nod. I think I’m going to throw up.
“Has Dustin seen them?” I ask, embarrassed.
“No. I called Leah first so we could start legal proceedings, and then you.”
