by Laura John
My phone starts buzzing, and I see Shae’s picture.
“What’s up, honey buns?” I ask, mouthing “Shae” to Cara.
“Karl’s cheating on me. Can the kids and I stay with you for a while?” she asks, sobbing.
“Oh, my gosh,” I say, covering my mouth for a moment, feeling tears come to my eyes. My heart is breaking for my best friend. “I am so sorry, honey. Of course you can stay with us. Do you need help moving anything?”
I don’t even hesitate to let her stay. She’s my best friend and sister, and she clearly needs me. I had my suspicions about Karl; I just hoped they weren’t true.
“No. We’re just going to pack some suitcases. We’ll be over soon.”
“See you soon,” I say before hanging up, then turn to Cara. “I can’t believe that piece of shit is cheating on her.”
“Men. They’re all the same,” she says, shaking her head.
I don’t know Cara’s full story, but I know she’s been burned. It actually gives me an idea for a song, but I’ll wait until later to try and put it into words.
“Go play, guys,” Shae says, and the three kids run off to Olivia’s room.
“So, Cara and I made up the two bedrooms in the basement for you,” I tell Shae as I pull her into my arms. “Mazie and Cage can share a bed, or Mazie can sleep with Oliva. Whatever you guys think will work the best.”
“Thank you so much. I just didn’t know what else to do,” she says. Her face is blotchy; she’s obviously been crying a lot.
“How did you find out?” Cara asks.
It’s nice seeing my new friend supporting my old friend.
“He left his phone on the kitchen counter and went to the bathroom. His other woman called, and I answered. She asked who the fuck I was. When I told her I was his wife, she lost her mind. So, needless to say, now Karl doesn’t have a wife or a girlfriend.” She has humor in her voice, but I can tell she’s broken.
“I caught my ex butt-fucking his other girlfriend,” Cara says, and my eyes go wide. She sees my reaction and waves me off. “Guys seriously aren’t worth the drama.”
“Amen,” Shae says, walking toward the kitchen and pulling out a bottle of wine. “Is it bad parenting if I get drunk tonight?”
“Hell no!” Cara says, grabbing three glasses. “I’ll just have one and watch your monsters.”
We laugh and pour the wine; tomorrow should be interesting. Wine hangovers are not my friend.
“Kids, it’s time for bed!” I yell, thankful it’s already eight at night.
“Can I call Duddy?” Olivia asks.
I sigh. I don’t say no when she asks, but I try not to talk to him myself. I have started reading the texts that he sends every day, but I don’t respond.
“Of course, honey.” I dial the phone and hand it to her.
They talk for a while, and then she hands me the phone.
“He asked for you,” she says before running away.
“What’s up?” I ask, not really wanting to talk to him.
I mean, what do you say to the man you’re hopelessly in love with, yet so deeply hurt by, but you shouldn’t be hurt by, because he really didn’t do anything wrong? What do you do when you’re just so fucked up in the head that you don’t know which way is up or down?
“I just wanted to say thank you for letting me keep my relationship with Olivia,” he says.
My heart melts.
“Of course. You’re her Duddy, and I won’t hurt her just because you and I didn’t work out.”
“Well, thanks. I hope you’re doing well.”
“I am, but the girls are over. I’ll talk to you soon.” I hang up and rest my head in my hands on the kitchen counter.
“Ugh,” I mumble.
Cara hands me a glass of wine. “No thinking of men tonight. Just drink.”
I giggle.
“Cheers, bitches!” she yells.
“Language!” Shae and I both scold at the same time, before bursting out into full belly laughs.
“Why did we think drinking that much wine was a good idea?” I ask, pouring three cups of coffee.
“Because we’re idiots,” Shae groans from the bar stool at my kitchen island.
“Can you guys keep it down a bit? Auntie Cara has a headache,” Cara says to the kids from the other bar stool.
Yeah, she did not stick to one drink. We all drank a little more than we probably should have.
I giggle and hand them each a cup of coffee.
My phone starts buzzing on the counter. I see that it’s Kyle calling me, so I pick the phone up and head to my bedroom.
“Hey, Kyle,” I answer.
It’s not really normal for Kyle to call me, and I feel like something is wrong, but I don’t know what.
“Has Dustin called you?” he asks.
“No. We talked last night around eight, but I haven’t heard from him since. Why?” I ask.
“He’s missing.”
I feel like my heart stops. It takes all my strength not to drop my phone.
“What do you mean, he’s missing?” I ask, trying to keep my breathing regular.
“We went out in Houston after the concert, and no one has seen him since. There was a bar fight and the security guards lost track of Dustin.”
He must have taken our call just before he went onstage.
“Maybe he went home with a girl?” I ask, feeling my body shake.
“Crystal, he only has eyes for you. He didn’t even want to go out last night, but it was my birthday and I insisted. I’m freaking out, and I thought maybe he reached out to you. This should never have happened.” His voice sounds panicked.
“Does he know anyone in Houston?” I ask, trying to keep my head straight.
How does someone just go missing?
Please, God, let him be okay, I pray.
“Not that I know of,” Kyle says, and his voice shakes a little.
“This isn’t your fault, Kyle. I’m going to call Tia and Leah and try to see if we can get footage from security cameras to see if he left with anyone. I need you to text me everywhere you guys went together and then call all his friends to see if they’ve heard from him or know anything.”
“Okay, I’m on it,” Kyle says. “There is one more thing. He was getting a bunch of weird notes and gifts on the last tour. Also, he was getting creepy texts. That’s why he changed his number. We didn’t tell you because we didn’t think much of it, but just keep that in mind.”
He hangs up, and my head is spinning.
Dustin lied to me? He said he changed his number because a reporter got a hold of it.
I shake my head; I can’t focus on that right now. We need to find Dustin. I can give him shit for lying later. I quickly dial Tia’s number.
“Dustin’s gone missing. You and Leah need to get over here now so we can make a plan and find him,” I tell her the moment she answers, not even letting her say hello.
“On our way,” she says, and hangs up.
After I hang up, I finally break down, my body shaking with my sobs.
What if I lose him? We might not be together, but he’s still in my life. What will this do to Olivia? How do you tell a four-year-old that her best friend and father figure is no longer here and won’t ever come back?
No. That can’t happen.
I shake my head, trying to get rid of the thoughts. That is not how this story ends. I close my eyes and send up a silent prayer.
Please let him be all right.
I rub my head; it feels like someone is jackhammering my skull. Fuck, I must have had way too much to drink last night. I don’t remember most of the night. I look around the room and don’t recognize where I am. What the hell happened last night?
I go to stand up, but my arm is handcuffed to the bed frame. Seriously, what the hell is going on?
“Guys, this is the stupidest prank ever! Come unlock this stupid thing!” I yell.
There’s no response.
“Seriously, g
uys, I’ll fire all your asses if you don’t get in here now!”
Still no response.
I notice a note on the side table, and I pick it up.
Dusty baby,
I had some errands to run. I’ll be home soon. Love you lots.
Sarah
I examine the handwriting. This is the same as all the notes I was getting on the last tour.
I drop the paper, my hands shaking. I feel panic starting to take over my body and I want to throw up.
You have got to be kidding me. Grayden’s ex is crazier than I thought.
I close my eyes, forcing myself to remember last night.
“Hey, sexy,” Sarah smiles, sliding her hand up my arm.
I quickly jerk away. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I live here, silly. And you know I’m one of your biggest fans.”
I look at my bouncer, about ready to get him to take her away, when she hands me a shot. I didn’t even see them when she first came over.
“Just one shot,” she pouts.
I roll my eyes and down the shot.
Sarah struts off, and I’m confused as fuck. I haven’t seen her since the last time I drove her drunk ass home and she tried to hit on me. I am so glad Grayden dumped her.
I signal the waitress for another drink, ready to forget the night.
***
“I’m fucked up,” I slur, having a hard time standing.
“How much did you drink?” Sarah asks, coming out of nowhere.
“Just a bit,” I hiccup, laughing at the way Sarah is so much smaller than me.
Someone yells, and all of a sudden, a bar fight breaks out. There are fists flying and people screaming.
“Let’s get out of here. This doesn’t seem safe,” she says, grabbing my hand.
I want to say no, but my feet move, following her through the crowd. Her hand feels weird in mine. Kind of sweaty, and really tiny.
When we get outside, she pulls me into a cab and cuddles up to my side. I want to push her away, but my limbs feel like jelly.
How much did I drink? I’ve never felt like this before.
I stumble out of the cab, being dragged by the tiny Sarah into her apartment building. It probably looks hilarious to anyone watching. Such a small girl pulling a giant man around.
We get into Sarah’s apartment after a lot of cursing from her. She points me to the bedroom, and I collapse on the bed.
The blankets feel so soft. I pet them, feeling the plushness under my fingers.
“Soft blankie, warm blankie, little ball of plush,” I murmur and giggle. Yes, giggle. Like a little schoolgirl.
I close my eyes, feeling sleepiness calling me.
I faintly hear Sarah join me, cursing about some sort of wrong dose. It’s the last thing I hear before I pass out.
That bitch drugged me!
God, I hope she didn’t do anything to me when I was unconscious. I quickly look down at my body and let out a breath and a silent prayer of thanks when I see that my clothes are still on.
I lie down on the bed and rub my hand over my face. How the hell am I going to get out of this one?
“Did you find anything yet?” I ask, pacing my living room, a complete nervous wreck.
Leah shakes her head. “We’re waiting for the police to get the surveillance footage from the club. It wasn’t unusual for Dustin to go home with women in the past, so the police aren’t very concerned.”
“But he’s never not answered his phone before,” I say.
I’m worried. This isn’t like Dustin, even when he used to sleep around. And I believe Kyle that he isn’t sleeping around anymore.
Ever since I started reading his messages, I know he’s still in love with me. If I said yes, his lips would be on mine in a heartbeat. But I’m scared. I’m messed up, and I really think I need counseling before I start a relationship with anyone.
It’s already five in the evening, and still no word.
My phone starts buzzing, and I pick it up.
“Any news, Kyle?” I ask, praying he has something.
“Thank fuck people are always on their phones posting pictures. We found a picture of Dustin leaving the club with a girl. Her name is Sarah O’Malley. It’s Grayden’s ex.”
“Yeah, I remember her. Dustin picked her up one night when she was drunk.”
“Well, it’s really odd that he left with her, because he didn’t like her. So I called the police and they said they’re sending someone over. I’ll let you know when we find out anything else.”
“Thanks, Kyle,” I say, then hang up.
“What did he find?” Leah asks.
“Hopefully Dustin,” I say before collapsing in the chair.
I know now Dustin owns my heart. If anything happens to him, I don’t know how I’ll survive.
I’ve been lying on the bed for hours, and Sarah still hasn’t shown up. I’m kind of grateful, but how the hell am I getting out of here?
I hear banging on the front door, but I can’t make out the words. Doesn’t matter who it is. If they can get in here, maybe I can get out.
“Help! Help! Help!” I scream as loud as I can, and I don’t stop. I just keep screaming.
Please let them hear me.
Finally, I hear a bang, and three police officers come into the bedroom.
“Thank fuck,” I say, my voice feeling hoarse from all the yelling.
The one officer radios in that they found me, and I have never been more thankful to see men in uniform before.
“Can you guys uncuff me?” I ask, rattling the handcuffs.
After I’m free, they take me to the hospital for drug testing to see what she used on me.
“We found the lady who kidnapped you,” one of the officers tells me after the nurse takes my blood. “She was hit by a car a couple of blocks from her apartment. We believe that is the only reason she didn’t come back to you. She survived, but is in the hospital.”
I nod. Karma’s a fucking bitch.
“Are you wanting to press charges?” he asks me.
I’m slightly confused. “Of course.”
Why the hell wouldn’t I press charges? She fucking drugged and kidnapped me. I knew she was crazy, but I didn’t think it was this bad. I just thought she was a cheater. I don’t give a shit that she got hit by a car, if that’s what he’s implying. She fucking deserved it.
He nods and excuses himself when there is a knock at the door.
“Thank God you’re alive,” Kyle says, entering the room and giving me a hug.
He hands me my phone, and I see that I have missed a lot of calls.
“We found it at the club. I guess you dropped it on your way to being kidnapped.” He chuckles awkwardly. “I’m so sorry this happened. She actually paid a bunch of guys to start a fight so that she could get you out without security noticing.”
“Dude, it isn’t your fault. I thought you guys were playing a stupid prank on me. This is the craziest shit I’ve ever been through.”
“You should call Crystal. She’s worried sick,” he says, and sits down in a chair.
“Do you think she’ll actually talk to me?”
“Just call her,” he says, turning his attention to his own phone.
I take a deep breath and press her contact picture. It’s a picture of her sleeping in bed; she looks so goddamn beautiful.
It rings for a half a second and she answers.
“Please tell me you’re okay,” she breathes.
I smile. “I’m okay, but this is probably the most insane thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I hear her sigh. “I was so worried, Dustin. I would have died if I lost you.”
A slight sob leaves her, and I fight back my own tears.
“No, you’re the strongest woman I know,” I tell her. It’s not a lie.
“Well, even strong people need help sometimes. All of this made me realize I need to talk to someone. I pushed you out because of my own demons more than e
verything else. And if I’d lost you today, I don’t know what I would have done, knowing we left things on such awful terms. I don’t know what the future holds, but I want to be a better person.”
“I’m proud of you, Crys. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.”
What I don’t say is I hope she realizes we still would be perfect together.
“I should let you go. Get some rest. I’ll see you soon in Mexico,” she says before hanging up.
“How did that go?” Kyle asks, not even looking up from his phone.
“Fine, you eavesdropping fucker,” I say with a smile.
“Oh, I’m so glad she didn’t fuck your humor up.”
We both laugh.
“We canceled your concert for tonight, but do you want to cancel the rest of the tour?” he asks.
“Hell no! I’m not letting a crazy bitch ruin this tour. She has no power over me. I hope she rots in jail, or at least gets the mental help she clearly needs.”
He smiles and nods. “That’s my boy.”
“So, where do you want to start?” Dr. Rahn says.
Her warm smile makes me feel comfortable.
“I don’t even know. I’m so fucked up, it’s not even funny. I wish I could just be normal and not have all the weight of my past dragging me down.”
“Well, that sounds like very negative talk.”
I nod. “I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents. I was bullied at school, and I lost my virginity to a guy who didn’t care about me and threw me away once he got what he wanted. The only good thing he gave me was my daughter. She was my saving grace. Without her, I never would have met my best friend and mentor, Tia. I wouldn’t have gotten out of that abusive household, and I wouldn’t have met the love of my life. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
I tell her about the things I went through with my parents, and I tell her about Gavin. I talk for about twenty minutes, and honestly, it’s a relief to get it all off of my chest.
She nods. “You have definitely been through a lot, and it sounds like we need to help you find ways to cope with the trauma from your past so it’s not weighing you down so much. Tell me more about your daughter.”
