Dungeons & Gangsters 2

by Marco Frazetta

  Shal looked over at me real quick, then called over to the big hobgoblin’s back, “send one of the waitresses in here, my poor cousin’s dwindling before my very eyes!”

  His crew chuckled and the big guard turned back as he hustled out into the restaurant, shouting, “I’ll get one right now, boss!”

  Me and Shal looked at each other in awkward silence for a minute.

  “I need to know what the fuck happened,” Shal rumbled, being the first to break the silence.

  I looked at him pointedly. “What do you wanna know?”

  “Where’d you go? Where have you been all these years, Teek? I told you I had plans for you, for us, and the next thing I know you’re fuckin’ gone with the wind. You broke our hearts, when you left like that.” I could tell he was struggling to keep his voice level, calm.

  “After what happened with my old man...”

  “May he rest in peace and power,” Shal said solemnly, nodding.

  I nodded back, appreciating his words. “After what happened there, and after I found out it was Teddy Freeze killed my father... I had to do it, Shal. I had to off him myself. Look I may be a soft human-loving hobgoblin, but I’m still a hobgoblin. I needed the blood of my father’s killer on my own hands. You of all people understand that, don't you?”

  “Of course I understand. But why'd you run off? Why’d you lose yourself from all contact with us, total fuckin’ radio silence? Just turn your back like that?”

  “It’s complicated Shal. I didn't want to turn my back. Your old man sent me to Pittsburgh, where I was supposed to lay low for a while, until I was ready to marry this hobgoblin girl, Rosma.”

  “What?!” Shal shouted incredulously, tryin’ to absorb all this allegedly new information. But Rosma’s my wife’s sister.” Some of the crew cocked a curious eye over at our table, havin’ heard Shal raise his voice and catching some of the conversation.

  I looked at him curiously, then went on. “I guess he wanted us to be brothers-in-law as well.” I chuckled, sippin’ more of the wine. “But I couldn't hold back, Shal. I came looking for who took out my father. When I found out it was Teddy Freeze, well I did what had to be done. I knew I had forced your pops to break his word, knew I had ruined my arranged marriage with Rosma, because she didn't come from that kind of family, at least that’s what I thought. So... I couldn't take it, couldn't face it all, I just ran. I ran as far from here as I could. There was some misadventures along the way but I ended up in Los Angeles.”

  “Los Angeles. The place of all filth.”

  “Something like that.”

  The big black door swung open and the pretty hobgoblin waitress from the front strutted in. She came over to the table and smiled at me. Those long skinny legs were something to bedazzle as she put her heels together and bent over toward us. She had her hair dyed bright silver, which was the fashion with a lot of hob girls.

  “This one’s rude but he’s a looker. What can I get for ya, handsome?” She asked, lifting up a little pad of paper and a pen.

  I looked over at Shal. “What’s good here?”

  He looked back at me for a moment, then turned to the waitress. “He’ll have the brunch special.”

  “Okay, the brunch special.” She wrote it down on her little pad. “And… What would you like to drink?”

  “I’m good with the wine,” I replied, sippin’ more from my glass.

  “Okay, and how do you like your eggs?” She asked, lookin’ up from her little pad to me.

  “Fried, but a little runny.” Shal grinned, answering before I could, as though he was recallin’ it from a dream, havin’ had breakfast with me a hundred thousand times in the past. The waitress nodded, smiled at the both of us and then hurried out of the room.

  “I didn’t know about none of that.” Shal turned his eyes on me. “California, huh? What happened after that?”

  I sipped the wine some more, feelin’ a little tipsy from it. “I set up shop out there.” I lit up a cigarette, figurin’ it’d be a few ‘til that brunch got back here anyway.

  Shal’s eyes widened in surprise. “How could you even live out there, with none of your people around?”

  “It’s true, we’re a very small minority out there. Hell, I’ve only met maybe a handful of other hobs out there in ten years, most of ‘em lawyers, one a movie star.”

  “Who woulda thought…” Shal began, shaking his head. “I didn’t think you’d head all the way out to the West coast… I sent some feelers out, tryin’ to find out if anyone had come across ya or if you were layin’ low somewheres nearby, but no one had seen red hide nor hair. Nothing.”

  “Truth be told, uncle Khakkoc probably coulda found me, if he really wanted to. But maybe he just figured he’d let me be. Let me figure things out on my own.”

  Shal grew thoughtful for a moment. “How you been gettin’ by all this time? Were you with a crew out there?”

  I turned my eyes away for a second. “Nah, I was a solo act. Me and my goblin, Skreech, were pullin’ little scores, movin’ a little dope, not makin’ much noise though.” I sipped the wine, finished my cigarette, felt a little guilty not telling my cousin the whole truth. “I made it a point to fly under the radar, if you know what I mean.”

  “Fly under the radar,” Shal repeated, thinking that over. Suddenly the big black door swung open again, and the orc waitress came in with a big tray, with multiple plates on it. Roasted pork sausage links, a whole rotisserie chicken, a potato hash with a layer of fried eggs on top, thick slices of toast, sweet honey jam, butter, a hot slice of pie, and a bowl of peaches and grapes sittin’ on ice.

  “Oh, shit… The brunch special, huh…? Thank you,” I managed to stammer out, as the waitress placed the plates in front of me. Shal looked at me curiously, but he was grinnin’.

  “Enjoy, cutie!” The waitress called over her shoulder, heading out the black door. I’d barely eaten earlier when I brought the others a Dunkin Donuts spread at the apartment, and my eyes were nearly poppin’ out of my fuckin’ head seein’ all that good comfort food in front of me. I snatched up the fork and knife the waitress had rolled up in a napkin for me, and started diggin’ the fuck in. My cousin had noticed my glass of wine was empty, so he looked over at his crew, snapped his fingers twice and pointed at my glass. One of the hobgoblins over at the booth table jumped up, grabbed the carafe of the sweet red wine and hurried over to me, refilling my glass. I nodded my thanks and promptly drained nearly half the glass, shoveling the good goblin made food into my mouth, savoring it as much as I could but tryin’ to get in as much as I possibly could at the same time.

  I looked up from my plate and noticed Shal was staring at me. He was rubbin’ his chin, then stopped and asked, “good, huh? If you were alright out there, why didn’t you ever call? Why didn’t you send word?”

  I swallowed a huge lump of chomped up sausage and chicken, potatoes that had been sauced with the runny egg yolk. I cleared my throat so as not to be a complete uncouth savage. “I should have. I figured I was startin’ over, and you and your old man most likely wouldn’t be all that pleased to hear from me anyway. Maybe if I didn't show my face, uncle Khakkoc wouldn't have to deal with the hassle, and the fact that I made him break his word to keep me out of gettin’ caught up.” I lazily waved the knife in my hand in the air. “You know, in the life.”

  Shal nodded as he thought that over.

  “So as the weeks and months and years went by...” I sipped some wine. “I guess I decided it was better to let sleepin’ dogs lie.”

  He nodded again but didn’t say anything. He was lookin’ at me strangely, as if he was tryin’ to determine something, and I got the ugly feeling that he knew or at least suspected I wasn’t being completely honest with him. I decided to ask him somethin’, remembering my encounter with the guards back at the house.

  “What happened to your old man?” I asked. “I stopped at the house, I was told that the capo was locked up --”

  Shal grimaced slightly
at the words ‘the capo.’ “You went to the house?”

  “Yea.”

  “Well, they didn’t lie to you. My pop got pinched a few years back, some trumped up conspiracy charges, a load of bullshit.” He gritted his teeth. “I’ve been acting capo in his stead for the last four years now.”

  I nodded, considering this. “Any chance of him gettin’ out soon?”

  “No idea. Doubtful. You’d have to ask the District Attorney, a real hard on of an elf.” Shal shrugged his shoulders. “His trial’s comin’ up soon, but it’s not lookin’ good. Last time I went and saw ‘em, he told me he was lookin’ at a mandatory minimum of twenty five to fifty years.” He looked at me and I saw his eyes were haunted, and he went on bitterly, “the elves and the humans came up with these new laws for organized crime, they’re calling it the R.I.C.O. Act, and they’re usin’ it to take down our people, slappin’ bids on ‘em that are intolerable to even think of.”

  “What are you sayin’?” I finished up my meal, feelin’ like there was somethin’ he was leaving out.

  “I’m sayin’ that they’re makin’ guys flip on their friends.” His eyes narrowed. “This R.I.C.O. Act got organized crime guys, even guys you’d think of as real hard cases, stone cold gangsters, singin’ like birds, then they get off light, the government gives ‘em a new identity, and vengeance doesn’t even get to have her day.”

  I raised my eyebrows as I considered this. That’s some ugly news. They really go outta their way to figure out how to come down heavy on guys just tryin’ to make a decent living without runnin’ the shitty nine to five rat race. “That’s crazy,” I muttered, not knowin’ exactly what to say to that. “You think it’d be alright, if I went to visit uncle Khakkoc, pay my respects?”

  Shal nodded. “Maybe. They got him at the Newgate Prison, a little ways outside the city, out in the sticks. There’s a visitor’s list you gotta be on, I’ll see if we can get you on it.” He paused, stroked his chin, fidgeted with the gold medallion on his gold necklace for a moment. “Yea, he’d like that. It’d be one hell of a surprise for ‘em.”

  I lit up another cigarette, my belly full and the wine makin’ my head swim a bit. “I’d appreciate it, it’s been too long. What do I owe ya for the grub?”

  Shal’s huge nasal area wrinkled, the flesh looking like red dyed leather. “The hell does that mean? You’re family, your money’s no good here, it’s on the house.”

  “Hey, I didn't mean any disrespect. Just figured I’m not your favorite cousin right now.”

  “It's not about you being my favorite or not, it's about honor. What kind a hobgoblin would I be, if I charged my own family for food?”

  I thought how just moments ago he was about to put a fuckin’ bullet in my skull, but figured it wasn't worth bringing up. Family. What can you do?

  A hobgoblin ran in from the other room, looked around wildly, then, spotting Shal, hustled over to him and bent low, whispering something in his ear that I didn’t catch.

  Shal stopped him for a moment, looked into the messenger’s eyes, then asked, “you sure? That much?” And when the messenger nodded quickly, Shal nodded back and replied, “okay, do it. Give it to ‘em. But I want my twenty percent by the end of the week.”

  The messenger hobgoblin nodded. “You got it, boss! You got it! I’ll get it to ya before then!” Then he bolted back out of the door. When Shal turned back to me I raised my eyebrows slightly but didn’t say nothin’. I didn’t like to stick my beak in where the business didn’t concern me.

  “So,” Shal began, his green eyes on mine, “are you here to stay? Or you just passin’ through?”

  “I think I might stick around awhile,” I said offhandedly, smokin’ my cigarette. “Ain’t no place like home, after all.”

  Shal snorted a laugh. “Speakin’ of which, when did you get in town? Where you stayin’?”

  “I got to the city late last night, stayin’ at a place nearby,” I replied distractedly, somewhat ambiguously.

  My cousin raised an eyebrow at me. “Stayin’ at a place nearby? What? Go get your things, come stay at the house. I’ll call ahead, tell the guys to let you in.” His arms spread out wide in a welcoming gesture. “It’ll be great, like old times. There’s plenty of room.”

  I waved my hand with the end of the cigarette from side to side. “That’s alright, I already paid for a spot. I appreciate the offer though, for real.”

  Shal seemed somewhat miffed by me refusing to come stay at the family home, he turned away and looked over at the card game goin’ on at the booth table, the stakes were heatin’ up as more cash hit the table and some of his crew was gettin’ rowdy.

  Turning back to me he rumbled, “if you’re really stickin’ around and not tryin’ to stay at the house, what are you doin’ for work? You got somethin’ lined up out here already?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “Any suggestions?”

  Shal stood up. “Come walk with me,” he said, and I followed him into another room.

  Chapter 9

  As we exited the back of the building, the noon sun hit me and I blinked hard. I was followin’ Shal over to his car, which made me grin ‘cause I immediately realized it was his father’s champagne colored Cadillac, and then I remembered that one time I stole it and Shal took the heat for me, catchin’ a verbal beatin’ from his old man.

  “You know, I could barely see over the steering wheel that one time.” I laughed, pointing towards the car.

  “Yea.” Shal grinned. “What a dipshit, steals a car he can barely drive.”

  “Hey, I drove it some.”

  Shal laughed, batted a red hand in the air at me. “Drove it some, he says! You drove it down the street on your way to get some pussy, then when you nearly crashed into the poor girl’s house, waking up her whole family and the neighbors, you turned right around and floored it back to our house!”

  “At least the mission was righteous,” I said somewhat abashedly, lookin’ down for a moment.

  “True.” Shal nodded. “But then again, every fuck mission is righteous,” he tried to say seriously, but roared with laughter. I joined in the laughter with him, it felt good havin’ a laugh with my cousin after all this time, then after a few moments, I looked at him intently.

  “Thank you, for tellin’ your pops it was you.” I turned away from his eyes briefly, feelin’ a little embarrassed. “I don’t think I even thought to say that before, but thank you.”

  Shal put a meaty red hand on my shoulder. “You know why I did that? Because we’re blood. Blood, Teek. Hobgoblins first, goblinoids second, everyone else dead last.” He pointed a thumb at the Cadillac, openin’ the driver’s side door. I was feelin’ so good about how it was goin’ with Shal that I nearly forgot my car was parked out front, across the street, and I had to stop myself from jumpin’ in the Caddy with him.

  “I parked across the street, where we goin’?”

  Shal looked at me, tryin’ to keep a neutral face. “Let’s go up to the house, we’ll talk there.”

  “Alright, I’ll follow you over.”

  “You don’t wanna roll with?” Shal looked from me to the Cadillac and back to me, surprised at another refusal.

  “I gotta dip out in a little while, I got a date tonight.” I lied.

  “You’re in Philly less than one fuckin’ day, and you got a date already? What the hell is this, Teek? First things first. Family, work, then whores.”

  “Yea, you’re right. Well, let’s just say the date isn't all pleasure. Business too.” It didn't feel all that great lying to my cousin, but I didn't feel like going through a whole other argument and lecture about family honor and all of that. I just wanted to make peace, then get my own affairs in order, as they say. I knew it wasn't the hobgoblin way to ask too much about another man’s business if he wasn't forthcoming, so he seemed to leave it at that. I walked passed him towards the street. “I’ll see ya over there.”

  “Alright.” He nodded, sittin’ in the Cadillac, start
ing it up.

  I jogged over to my car as he pulled out into the middle of the street and waited, other cars giving him a wide berth. I hopped in the Mustang and pulled it around behind him, and we headed on over to the house, where, as soon as the Cadillac hit the cul-de-sac, the wrought iron driveway gates were thrown wide open, and I followed behind him up the long snaking driveway. The two jerk off guards from earlier looked on in muted, confused surprise as I followed behind Shal. I smirked and couldn’t help but think, told ya so, assholes. Shal parked the Cadillac in front of the garage and I parked behind him. I jumped outta the Mustang and came over to the driver’s side of the Caddy.

  “Those two give you a hard time when you came by earlier?” He asked as he got out of the car, shuttin’ the door hard behind him.

  “Yea, a bit,” I replied, remembering the rude treatment from earlier. “But it is what it is, they were just doin’ what they’re supposed to do. They didn’t know who I was, probably thought I was some whack job fiend from up around the way or somethin’.”

  “That’s right. If anything they probably should’ve shot you.” Shal headed over to the edge of the driveway, where it met the manicured, be-statued lawn, and called out, “you two, over there! This hobgoblin right here, he’s family, he’s my cousin, Teek! He never gets denied access to the house again, or you’ll deal with me directly!”

  The two nodded quickly, yelled back a subdued “okay, boss!”

  Shal nodded back to them, then turned to me and and made a ‘follow me’ motion with a hand, the rings on his fingers shining and glittering as the sun light caught the jewels and the gold. I looked downwards a bit ‘cause somethin’ else shining caught my eye, and I saw that big revolver tucked into his waistband, the one he pulled on me back at the restaurant, a fuckin’ hand cannon with gold and silver detail along the grip, the barrel. I couldn’t help but grin when I saw it, I remembered him sayin’ way back in the day how he always wanted a gun just like that, a big cowboy lookin’ piece that he had a goldsmith put his magic touch on. He’s armed to the teeth. That was the hobgoblin way, old school.