Blaine

by Katie Dowe

  He drained the glass and got to his feet slowly, feeling his head spinning. He stopped and took several deep breaths before going into the kitchen to put the glass away. He realized that he'd hardly eaten for the entire day and the liquor on his empty stomach wasn't a very good idea. He sat at the counter and placed his head in his hands, his fingers digging into his hair and holding on. God, how he loved her, he thought with a longing that ripped right through his heart! He loved her and needed her so much that he didn't know what to do about it.

  *****

  “This is the third time I've invited you for dinner and you've turned me down. If your husband can't make it then you come alone. I miss talking to my niece and I have a feeling that something's wrong,” her aunt had told her firmly.

  So Skylar had decided on going over on Saturday. She was tired of sitting in the empty apartment and thinking of her husband anyway. It had been almost a week since he'd left, which meant that it was a week since she'd heard his voice and she was quietly going crazy.

  “Come, let’s go sit on the back balcony, honey. It's too nice a day to stay cooped up in the house,” she told her as soon as she came inside. She made no comment on the sad expression that Skylar knew was on her face.“I made dozens of sandwiches.”

  “I'm not really hungry.”

  “You're going to help me eat them, honey,” her aunt said firmly as she took her seat. She waited until the younger woman had plucked a sandwich from the plate before she brought it up.

  “Where's your husband?”

  “He's at work—” Skylar began and then stopped abruptly. “We're separated.”

  “I knew something was wrong,” Grace poured the lemonade and handed it to her niece. “It’s about what you said to him?”

  “I've apologized so many times, Auntie, and it only served to drive him further away from me.” Skylar picked apart her cucumber sandwich absently.

  “Then stop.”

  “I have,” she said as she looked at her aunt. “We haven't spoken to each other in over a week.”

  “And that's not good,” she said gently. “Communication is needed in a time like this.”

  “He said he needs space.”

  “He was desperate to get back control and would have probably said anything to do that,” Grace told her. “You not only hurt him honey, but you dented his pride. You probably brought back those awful memories of his childhood.”

  “You think I don’t know that?” Skylar cried in an agonized tone. “I sat there and listened to him pour his heart out to me and I did the same thing his parents did. How can I expect him to forgive me? How are we going to survive this?”

  “With time,” her aunt told her firmly. “Love has a way of making things right honey, and you and Blaine share one of the very rare kinds of love. You can fix this, and I'm not just saying that. It's going to take one of you to make the first move and I want to tell you that you should.”

  “Because I was the one who started it.”

  Grace nodded. “I'm sure he's suffering as much as you are right now. He's your husband, honey, and you have a right to go to him.”

  *****

  But before she could do that she saw him in the papers with his ex. It was a dinner that the Mayor had put on to bring forth awareness of the homeless in the downtown area and he'd been caught in the picture with her in his arms as they danced. Skylar felt the arrow going straight through her heart as she stared at the man she loved with all her heart with his arms around another woman, a woman he'd been involved with in the past! Taking a deep breath she put the paper away and went to work. It was during the day that she saw her phone ringing and when she picked it up she realized that it was him calling her. She touched the decline button and after a while she turned off the phone. She had nothing to say to him.

  *****

  “Are you sure you should be spending the night?” Deloris asked her as she sat curled into one of the chairs in the living room of her friend’s place. Devon was working late and had been glad that Deloris would not be home alone. She'd gone back to work but she wasn't able to do any heavy lifting yet.

  “You don’t want me to stay?” Skylar asked with lifted brows.

  “You know that’s not what I'm saying, honey,” she said gently. “Angela and I came down on you pretty heavily at lunch that time and you didn't deserve it.”

  “Maybe I did,” Skylar said with a shrug. “I'm thinking of getting an annulment.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “I do. I've been thinking about it and I've made up my mind.”

  “Because of what you saw in the papers?” Deloris scoffed. “They were just dancing, honey, and you said he's been calling you. He probably wants to explain.”

  “I'm tired of trying to feel better, Del. Love isn't supposed to hurt so bad and a marriage shouldn't be so much work.” She sipped her wine. “I haven't eaten a full meal since he left and I'm tired of feeling lost and alone.”

  “So sort it out with him.”

  “And say what? That I miss him and I want him to come home? I can't do that.”

  “And why not?”

  “Because I don't want to sound desperate. I want to get back to being the woman I was before I met Blaine. I want to go back to being that strong independent woman I was before him. I hate feeling like this weak woman who can't manage without a man. I

  'm not that woman.”

  “Nothing's wrong with being vulnerable, honey,” Deloris told her quietly. “Nothing's wrong with begging the man you love to come back to you.”

  Skylar stared at her friend for a moment before looking down into her glass of wine. “I can't be that woman Del,” she said as she emptied the glass.

  *****

  “Blaine Mallory?” the man asked him as he stepped out of his jeep with the intention of going into the building.

  “Yes?”

  “You've been served,” the man told him and handed him the papers. “Please sign here.”

  Blaine did so automatically and took the papers from him. He didn't look inside the envelope until he got into the building and when he did he almost swayed with shock as he stared at the divorce papers. It had been two days since he'd attended the dance and had his picture taken with Glenna and he'd been trying to call his wife but she wasn't picking up. He dug into his pocket and took out his phone to call her. He got her voicemail. “This is Skylar, you know what to do.” He waited until the beep sounded and left a message. “Skylar please call me back, baby. You're not thinking straight. Please call me back.”

  He hung up and stared at the papers in his hands again. He'd driven her to this and he couldn't forgive himself. He would not be giving her a divorce and he was certainly going to let her know that as soon as his meeting was over. He would drive straight to her store and she wouldn't be able to avoid meeting with him and talking. He would stay there even if it took the entire day and she couldn't ignore him. Jesus! What had he done?

  *****

  “Mrs. Mallory?” the strange male voice sounded in her ear. She frowned and wondered if it was his attorney calling her.

  “Yes?”

  “We found your number in your husband’s emergency contact. There's been an accident.”

  Skylar felt her heart stop beating for a moment and then start back up. “What happened to my husband?”

  “An accident at the site of the apartment building ma’am. A scaffolding collapsed and he fell.”

  “Where is he?”

  “He's been rushed into surgery,” the man told her.

  Skylar couldn't move for a moment and then she dialed Deloris’ number and told her.

  “I'll be by to get you honey,” her friend told her.

  ******************************

  “Mrs. Mallory?” The doctor came forward and took her hand. “It’s Michael Mc—”

  “I remember you,” Blaine said numbly. “How is he?”

  “He's still in surgery. I'm his regular physician but he g
ot hit on the head and I understand there's swelling in the brain. He also sustained injuries to his upper body and his left leg was broken.”

  Skylar took a deep breath to stop the tremors. “Is he—” She couldn't continue.

  “We're going to have to wait and see,” he told her sympathetically. “They have the best surgeons here and your husband sits on the board of the hospital. He has contributed quite a bit to the pediatrics ward.”

  Skylar stared at the man. “I didn't know that.”

  Michael smiled. “I'm not surprised. Your husband prefers anonymity in whatever he does. I will keep you posted.” He squeezed her hands and left the room.

  “Honey, why don’t you sit?” Deloris said to her.

  “I can’t.” She clasped her hands together. “I served him divorce papers this morning.”

  “Oh, honey.” Deloris stared at her friend sadly.

  “That was probably the last thing he looked at before—” She shook her head. “He called me and I didn't pick up and I later listened to his message. I served him divorce papers and I might never—”

  “Stop!” Deloris said firmly. “You're not going to do that to yourself.”

  She looked up as Bradley and Leesa came hurrying in. Skylar ran into the man’s arms and he held her tight while Leesa placed a hand on her shoulder.

  She stepped away suddenly. “I'm sorry.”

  “For what?” Brad demanded as he took her arm and lead her to one of the seats, with Leesa following.

  “I'm scared,” she said with a shaky laugh.

  They said hi to Deloris before sitting on either side of Skylar.

  “Nothing wrong with that,” Leesa assured her. “We're here darling and I've called the others. Some of the guys will be coming in tomorrow as well as the wives.”

  Skylar looked at the woman in surprise. “We take care of our own, darling,” she said with a smile.

  “Listen to me,” Brad told her. “He's going to be okay.”

  “He has swelling in the brain and contusions and a broken leg,” she supplied, wobbly.

  “And he's going to be fine,” Bradley insisted. “I checked out the doctors and he has the best.”

  “He has to make it. We left things badly.” She gripped his hands. “I was going to divorce him.” She bit her lip and blinked the tears away.

  “And he wouldn't have allowed you to.” Bradley told her gently. “He loved you. I saw him some weeks ago and he was frightened by how much he did.”

  “He spoke to you?”

  “We're friends, as much as you can be friends with Blaine considering what he went through. He told me how much he was concerned at overwhelming you with what he felt.”

  “I told him some awful things,” she whispered. She stared at Leesa. “If I lose him—”

  “And you're not going to,” the woman told her firmly. “He's going to be fine and you two are going to talk things over,” She smiled slightly. “The kind of love we have for the men in our lives and the one they have for us can be hard to deal with sometimes.” She looked at her husband. “It took some time for Brad to understand it too.”

  “But when I realized it there was no turning back for me.” His eyes met those of his wife and for a moment it seemed like he forgot who else was in the room. He turned to look at Skylar and smiled. “He's going to make it.”

  *****

  “The operation went well but the next twenty-four hours will tell,” Doctor Manning said as he came into the room. It had been almost five hours since he'd been in surgery which meant it had been a lifetime of agony for Skylar as she waited to hear. Friends, especially the members of the club he belonged to, had come and gone and Deloris had left, urging her to call as soon as she heard anything. Brad and Leesa had stayed, much to her relief. “He's still out of it. We did get the swelling down.”

  “I need to see him,” Skylar told him.

  “Of course,” the man nodded. “Good to see you, Brad and Leesa.”

  “Paul, is he going to be okay?” Brad asked.

  He hesitated and looked at Skylar. “We're hoping for the best.”

  Skylar turned to Leesa and Brad. “I'm staying the night. Thanks, and I will call as soon as anything changes.”

  “We'll keep in touch, darling,” Leesa promised her as she squeezed her hands.

  “Call us any time and we will be here,” Brad told her.

  She nodded and hurried from the waiting room to follow the doctor. He stepped aside and let her enter the very nice private room they'd put him in after the surgery. Her heart somersaulted inside her chest as she stared at him lying in the bed. His left leg was in a cast and was elevated. She could also see the swathe of bandages around his chest. She walked over and stood by the bed, her eyes going over his handsome face, filled with scratches and bruises along the jawline. She brushed back tendrils of his ash blonde hair tenderly. He needed a haircut, she thought absently. She pulled up a chair and sat near to the bed, taking his hand in hers and kissing it softly.

  “I didn't mean those things I said to you,” she whispered. “I really wish you could hear me, darling. I wasn't used to the kind of love that you showed me and I became scared, but I miss you, babes. I miss the way you hold me after we make love. I miss the way we cuddle in the mornings and the way I pretended that I had to leave or else I was going to be late for work. I miss you talking to me and telling me about your day. I miss looking at your solid muscled body and the way you didn't care about coming from the bathroom absolutely naked and giving me a show.

  I miss cooking for you, Blaine, and miss you telling me how good it tastes no matter what I cooked. I even miss picking up after you. I promise that if you wake up and come back home to me I will never complain about you leaving your wet towels all over the bathroom floor.” She paused and placed her head on his hand. “Maybe I will complain a little because let’s face it, babes: you are messy! But I don’t care! All I want is for you to come back home to me, please come back home to me. Please wake up, baby, and come back home to me.” She bit her lip and took a deep breath to steady herself.

  “We could go on that cruise, an extended one. We could go to several Caribbean islands. Jamaica and Barbados are definitely in the running. I hear they have fantastic beaches. We could take time off and travel the world and see beautiful sights. I've never been to Paris! Can you believe it? I want to see the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower. I want to eat French cuisine with you and drink wine and do all the exciting things one does in that city of love and lights.

  “I love you Blaine, and I was so stupid and selfish to say those things to you. When I said them I wanted to take them back immediately. I am blessed to be loved by you and I promise that from now on I won't take you for granted. Just please wake up and tell me that we're okay. And so you know it: I'm not agreeing to us living separate lives. That is ridiculous! We're married and we're still in the honeymoon stage of our marriage. I think we will always be in that stage in our lives!”

  She stopped talking and kissed the back of his hand. He had some bruises on his arm as well and she ran her fingers over them gently. She looked at his face and smiled at the length of his pale lashes. She'd never noticed how long they were before. “Please wake up baby,” she whispered as she stared at him. “Just wake up and look at me. Be mad at me, I don’t care as long as you wake up.”

  She sat there staring at him for a long time until she felt her phone vibrating inside her jacket. She put his hand down and went into the corner of the room to answer. “Hi Aunt Grace. No, he's still out of it. I'm at the hospital.” She listened for a moment. “I'm staying the night. Would you say a word of prayer for him?” She closed her eyes as she listened. “I messed up pretty badly, Auntie, and I want to make it right. I can't call Mother now, could you please tell her the status? Thank you. I'll call you as soon as he wakes up.” She hung up the phone and walked over to sit by his side. She took his hand in hers again and rubbed it slowly as if willing him to recognize her touch and wake up
. “I'm here, babes. I'm here for you.”

  Chapter 15

  But he didn't wake up through the night. She'd been provided with a cot to sleep on and she'd finally fallen asleep around midnight. She woke up to see two nurses checking on him and, glancing at her watch, she saw that it was almost seven.

  “His vitals are stable,” one of them said to her.

  Skylar nodded as she got to her feet. She looked up as Michael came into the room. “You should go and get some coffee, Skylar,” he suggested.

  “I think I will.” She walked over to look at her husband. “I keep thinking that he should have woken up during the night.”

  “He will wake up,” he assured her. “Go on, I'll be here until you get back.”

  Skylar went to the bathroom first to dash some cold water on her face. Her hair was a mess but she couldn't worry about that now. She tore off a few paper towels and dabbed at her face before dumping them into the trash can. Her jacket was impossibly wrinkled so she took it off and noticed that the wine red silk blouse she'd worn was a little better. She walked swiftly into the cafeteria and got coffee, going over to an empty table to sip it. She grimaced at the taste of it but drank it down just the same. It was early morning and the place was virtually empty. Her eyes drifted over to a couple seated a few tables away from her. The woman had her head on the man’s shoulder and there was a bleak look of defeat on his face. She wondered who was here for them and what uncertainties they were facing. She finished the coffee and dumped the cup, feeling the sudden urge to see her husband. She stopped as she reached the doorway, her heart fluttering as she realized that his eyes were open and that he was talking to Michael.