Shameless

by Teresa Mummert

  “Henley,” he called after me, and I walked faster after Gigi. “Henley!” He grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him.

  “Ow,” I yelled, trying to pry his fingers off me.

  “I didn’t mean it.”

  “Doesn’t matter.” I pulled at his fingers, but he didn’t let up.

  “Hey, let’s not do this here.” Gigi stepped in between us, staring at Lucas. He nodded, and his hand slowly released me. I rubbed my arm but the real ache was in my chest.

  “Can we talk?” He looked passed Gigi at me, the muscles in his clenched jaw ticking below his flesh. A tear escaped my eye, and I wiped it away quickly, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

  “Maybe some other time,” I said, my voice shaking. He nodded but didn’t reply. “It was nice seeing you, Lucas.”

  Gigi and I walked back to the dorms in silence. When we finally reach the door, she spoke.

  “So... not exactly how I saw it going.” She laughed nervously.

  “Things are just too different now. I never really belonged in that crowd anyway.” I shrugged, and she nodded in agreement. “I’ll see you around.” I smiled at her as I slipped inside.

  “Yeah...” Her voice trailed off.

  I couldn’t wait to crawl under my covers. As soon as I made it inside my room, I slid down the door, pulling my knees tight against my chest and cried. I didn’t even know why. I knew now that I had made the right decision to stay away from Lucas. He was too much of a wild card. I thought about what he had said and the words stung all over again. I was the one who had ruined our friendship. He never wanted anything more.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  LUCAS

  My fingertips were smudged with charcoal as I pulled angry lines across the thick paper. It was nearly four in the morning, and I wasn’t even beginning to feel tired. All I could think about was Henley and what her boyfriend had said to me as I spoke to him at the bar. I glanced over at the portrait I’d drawn of her after she’d told me she never wanted to talk about her first time, something I wasn’t sure had even happened.

  ***

  “I need another round,” I yelled over the music to the bartender as I stood next to Rhys. He continued to slide his fingers over the onscreen keyboard of his phone, so engrossed in what he was doing, he was oblivious to my presence.

  “You want a shot, mate?”

  He glanced up at me and shook his head but didn’t say anything.

  “I’m glad you guys came out tonight. It’s good to see Henley again.” I smiled as his eyes narrowed.

  “Is it good to see her?” He asked as he stood from his stool, sarcasm evident in his tone. “Relax, man.” He patted me on the shoulder as his lips curled up into a smile. “I get it. I expected some guys to be trying to get in her pants while I was gone. It’s not like I didn’t have my share of fun. But I’m back now. You get what I’m saying?”

  “What are you saying?” I asked as the bartender sat the drinks down on the bartop in front of us and I turned to face him.

  “She’s going to be my wife.” He picked up one of the shots and drank it back without flinching.

  “You asked her to marry you?” I picked up one of the glasses and slammed it back. There was never anything between the two of us but lies and deception.

  He laughed as he ran his fingers through his dark hair. “I’m waiting for the right time. Look, anyone who knows Henley knows she only wants one thing; stability. I can give her a home, decent money, and healthcare.”

  “Sounds like every girl’s dream,” I deadpanned. I glanced over at Henley, and her eyes caught mine as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. I couldn’t help but smile as I remembered the first time I’d seen her here, dancing and letting go. She smiled back before her gaze fell.

  “I gotta run back to base. She’s gonna be pissed.”

  “You have to leave now?”

  He shrugged, rubbing his palm against the back of his neck. “You know how it is.” He laughed, and I grimaced. He pulled his phone from his pocket and answered a call from what I could only guess was another female by the way he spoke. I made my way back to Henley.

  ***

  I felt like I no longer had a home. I didn’t want to go back to London and face Amelia, and I couldn’t watch Henley run off and marry some jerk who didn’t even care about her.

  I traipsed out to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka from the cabinet. I drained as much of the contents as I could stomach before I forced to come up for air. I repeated the process twice more before I sat the bottle on the counter and stared out over the quiet living room.

  I wanted to show Henley that I cared, that she cared, but I was so pissed off that she couldn’t see through her boyfriend’s good guy routine, I fucked everything up. I’d come to the states to discover the truth about my life; about me. But I didn’t like what I’ve learned.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  HENLEY

  The next day I was late for my first class and had forgotten my notes. When the lecture was over, I walked toward the large glass doors, and I could see Lucas staring back at me. I took a deep breath and walked outside, continuing past him.

  “You’re up early,” I said as he walked a step behind me.

  “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about last night.”

  I turned to face him, and he was running his hands through his hair. My eyes fell to his muscular bicep, covered in intricate ink patterns.

  “Don’t. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I had a little too much to drink,” I replied, chewing my lower lip.

  “I shouldn’t have said...” His voice trailed off, and he took a step closer to me. I took a step back.

  “Water under the bridge,” I smiled.

  He nodded, searching me with his dark blue eyes. Rhys walked up behind me and placed his arm around my waist, oblivious to the tension in the air.

  “Hey, Lucas. Fun night last night.” He grinned, looking back and forth between us.

  “Yeah. It was a real hoot.” Lucas replied, and I choked on my own laughter at his words. He grinned out of the side of his mouth. “We were thinking of going out again tonight if you’re up for it? One last party before fall break.”

  “Yeah, sure.” He wrapped his arm unnaturally around my neck. “My girl and I will be there.” Lucas glanced my way when Rhys called me his girl.

  Rhys’ phone began to ring, and he pulled it from his pocket, frowning as he looked down at the screen.

  “I gotta take this. It’s First Sergeant.” Rhys kissed me on the cheek and waved to Lucas, who nodded his head once. I watched as he stepped away, lingering beside his car as he talked animatedly to whoever was on the other end of the line.

  “We’re going out again?” My stomach was doing summersaults.

  “Yeah, why not? Rhys seems like a nice guy.” He stared at me, no expression on his face.

  “Yeah, he is.” The silence between us grew awkward for a moment. “I should get going.”

  He nodded again. As soon as Lucas had turned his back, I pulled out my cell phone and called Gigi to tell her that he’d invited us out.

  “You’re freaking kidding me. He invited you both out?” Gigi sounded as shocked as I was. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.” For once, she agreed with me. “I mean... Rhys is kind of boring.” I could not help but let my mouth fall open.

  “He’s not boring,” I argued, but I understood what she meant. He was nothing like the rest of us. He liked to stay home, and he didn’t get in trouble. The only time Rhys and I ever had any problems was when we would drink as teenagers, so I didn’t mind him avoiding parties.

  Gigi laughed into the receiver. “Okay, Henley. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Whatever,” I hung up the phone and stalked off toward Rhys’ car.

  “Are you sure you want to go out tonight?” I asked, hoping he’d change his mind.

  “If that’s what you want to do.”

  I tried to ignore the sickening
feeling rising from my stomach. I did want to go out with my friends. I missed them. But it felt weird with Rhys by my side.

  “I have to head back to base. I’ll come back after your classes, okay?”

  I nodded as he leaned down and pressed his lips against my forehead before pulling back to look at me. I smiled, nodding as I watched him get into his car and pull away.

  ***

  I decided to skip the rest of my classes and focus on what I would wear for the night. After tearing all of the clothes from my closet, I could not find a single thing to wear. I cursed myself for giving Gigi back all of her clothing.

  After hanging everything back up, I called a cab and made my way across town to find the perfect outfit. Shopping was one of my least favorite pastimes, but I wanted to make sure everyone knew I still knew how to have fun. I tried on countless clothes in at least half a dozen stores before coming up with the perfect outfit, a bright blue strapless dress that could barely be considered anything more than a shirt. I matched it with a new pair of black heels that I had found for half price.

  I made it back to my dorm with enough time to shower and curl my hair, so it hung in large soft layers around my face. I spent the little bit of time I had left doing my makeup and convincing myself that I could summon the courage to actually go out in public.

  Rhys knocked on the door a little while later. I pulled it open slowly, biting my lip as he took in my ensemble.

  “Wow,” he said with a nervous laugh.

  “You like it?”

  “Well... It is a little revealing. You always dress like this when you go out with your friends?”

  I tugged at the bottom of my skirt and frowned. “It is a little short, but the color is really beautiful, don’t you think?” He cleared his throat and thought of how to respond. “You don’t like it?” I felt my heart sink. In a matter of seconds, I went from feeling like a princess to a piece of trash. I threw my little black clutch on my bed and stalked over to my closet. I began ripping out all of my clothing onto the floor below my feet.

  “Henley, it’s fine, really. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I rolled my eyes and continued digging. He was being too nice. It made the entire situation worse.

  “If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. Don’t say what you think I want to hear.” I don’t know why I was being so mean to him, but at that moment, I could not stand how polite and calm he was when I was about to explode.

  “Henley, stop.” He placed his hand on my arm.

  “Don’t touch me.” I whipped around, pulling back from his touch.

  “What?” He looked genuinely offended, and I immediately regretted what I had said. I wiped a stray tear from my cheek and took a deep breath.

  “I just...I spent a lot of time getting ready for you.”

  “You know you’re beautiful in whatever you wear. You didn’t have to go through all of this trouble.”

  “I wanted to.”

  Chapter Forty-Four

  LUCAS

  I paced the floor, unable to rid myself of the steady sinking feeling in my stomach.

  “You have to tell her that he’s cheating on her, Luc,” Beef called out from the kitchen as he leaned on the island.

  “She won’t believe me.” I threw my hands up. “And I don’t even really know if he is. I just have a feeling.”

  “So... give her proof.” He folded his massive arms across his chest as his one eyebrow rose.

  “How the hell am I supposed to prove to her that he’s shagging someone back home?”

  “You’re the brains, and I’m the brawn, bro. I can’t be sexy and smart. It wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the men.” He winked before walking across the room and closing the door to his bedroom behind him. I knew what I needed to do but figuring out how to do it was another story.

  I shook my head, letting out a low chuckle before my smile fell. “I need to call Payton,” I muttered to myself before rubbing my palm over my face. I was going to put the fate of my future relationship with Henley in the hands of a girl she absolutely hated, but I was running out of options.

  I stared off at Beef’s door for a moment. Even if all of this goes the way I hope, I could be putting the final nail in the coffin of our friendship.

  I slipped into my bedroom and pulled out my mobile to call her. It had ringed several times before she answered, sounding irritated.

  “If you’re drunk, it’s not my day to babysit you.”

  “Good to know you guys worked out a schedule,” I deadpanned as I paced my bedroom floor. “I need a favor.”

  “You’re kidding, right? Last time I did you a favor you kicked me out like I’d done something wrong.”

  I groaned, my eyes landing on the charcoal drawings that hung on my walls. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sure,” she laughed, but her curiosity got the best of her. “What is it you want?”

  “There’s this guy who is a serious arsehole –”

  “Are you doing that thing where you talk about yourself but pretend you’re getting advice for a friend?”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I guess I deserved that one. It’s actually Henley’s boyfriend.”

  “Wow, didn’t see that one coming,” she deadpanned.

  “I need help proving to her that she deserves better.”

  “You mean, deserves you.”

  “What’s so wrong with me?” I had snapped before my eyes shot to my door when I heard the water begin to run in the bathroom.

  “Does Beef know you’re calling me with this plan? He didn’t exactly seem happy to see me when I helped you home.”

  “It was his idea.” Technically it was his idea for me to prove to Henley that Rhys wasn’t any good for her. “And it isn’t like you paid me for that last tattoo.”

  She was silent for a moment before groaning. “What do you have in mind?”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  HENLEY

  By the time we made it to the club, I had smoothed things over with Rhys. I felt incredibly guilty for being so short with him, and I was not even sure why I was so upset. I had wanted a conservative and trustworthy boyfriend, and that was exactly who he was. I couldn’t blame him for not wanting me out wearing next to nothing. I glanced down at my blue dress and back to him. I should have changed. I shouldn’t have made him agree to go out like this if he was uncomfortable and I had no idea why I felt so conflicted. We ordered a round of drinks and waited by the bar for everyone else to arrive.

  “You want to dance?” I asked as Wild Ones played over the speakers. He shook his head.

  “You know I don’t really like to dance.” He groaned as he glanced around at the couples grinding their hips into one another on the dance floor. “Shit. I have to take this.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned away from me, disappearing into the crowd.

  “I’ll dance with you,” Lucas said into my ear from behind me. I turned around, nearly spilling my drink. “Henley?” Lucas asked as his eyes skimmed down over my body, taking in my outfit.

  “Sure,” I muttered. Lucas took my hand and pulled me through the sea of people.

  He wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling my body flush against his. I stood frozen for a moment, worried that Rhys might get upset at our close proximity but he was so consumed with whoever he was talking to that he didn’t even notice.

  “One song,” I warned, causing Lucas’ smile to broaden like he took it as a challenge.

  Our bodies swayed together like everything about us was in sync with the other, even the way our breathing grew ragged and his heartbeat pulsed under my fingertips. But it didn’t feel like we were just being friendly anymore. My body stiffened slightly and even though the movement was minuscule, Lucas noticed.

  “He’s fine.” Lucas motioned toward Rhys, who was busy downing a drink with the rest of the group, and they were yelling and cheering as they ordered more. I relaxed and moved my hips to the music against Lucas. I slid my hands up his chest, coming t
o rest on the sides of his neck as his moved lower causing goosebumps to erupt beneath his touch. “You look beautiful tonight,” he whispered in my ear as one of his hands brushed over my bottom, holding me firmly against him. The feel of his breath on my ear sent a shiver down my spine. Our cheeks were resting against each other’s as we moved together to the music.

  “I’m immune to your bullshit, remember?”

  “Are you sure?” He pulled back to look at me with a smirk playing on his lips but there was no humor in his words, and I got the feeling he was asking much more than if I could resist his charm. The song ended, and a new more upbeat one began. I pushed back from him slightly, but his hands clung tightly to my body.

  “I should get back to Rhys,” I said, realizing how lost in the moment I had become.

  “He’s having fun. So are we.” Lucas smirked, but it felt more like a challenge. “Unless you feel guilty about something.”

  “Of course not. We’re friends. Rhys isn’t the jealous type,” I added.

  Lucas rolled his eyes at my comment and pulled me back against him. My eyes fell closed as I pressed my cheek against his chest. The hammering of his heart seemed to cloud my mind, drowning out the heavy bass of the music. I became lost in his touch, his smell, the gentle vibration of his chest as he sang lowly along with the song about being addicted to someone. When had the song changed?

  I pulled back from his grasp, panic consuming me as I was brought back to reality. My eyes snapped over to our friends. Rhys was nowhere in sight. Oh, God. Had he left? Did he get the wrong idea of me dancing with Lucas?

  “Where’s Rhys?” I asked. Lucas rubbed his thumb up and down my back slowly as he looked to our friends. Beef held up his bottle of beer, a drunken smirk on his face.

  “I’m sure he just went to the bathroom or something. Relax.”

  “Come on. Let’s get a drink.” I pushed back, and he finally released his grip, allowing me to step back. I tucked my hair behind my ear and made my way back to the bar. Lucas’ hand grabbed mine, but I pulled away, not wanting to hold it.