Shameless

by Teresa Mummert

  “You were the truth I was searching for. I just didn’t know it then. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

  I pressed my lips against his in a feverish attempt to show him how much he meant to me and how sorry I was for everything we’d been through.

  I trailed my fingers down his stomach to the waist of his jeans, looking back up at him. I unsnapped his button on his pants with shaky fingers. He pushed me back onto the bed, falling with me. His fingers laced in mine, and he pushed them against the mattress as he kissed me harder than he had before. I raised my hips, unable to get enough of his touch.

  He pulled back, tenderly placing a kiss along my jaw, moving agonizingly slow as he made his way to my lips. His words breathed new life into me as he spoke against them. “If all of this world is a lie, let me live in its deception lying against you.”

  “You read Among the Flames?”

  “I skimmed it,” he said with a smirk as his nose skimmed along my neck.

  We melted into each other, consumed by lust and the desperate need to feel connected to someone else. Everything we’d been through was thrown away with every article of flimsy fabric that we removed from between us, leaving nothing but our bare truths. This was me. This was us.

  His hands slid behind me, and my back bowed, drawn to him as his fingers nimbly worked against the clasp of my bra. He pulled it from between us and dropped it to the floor before the palm of his hand moved roughly over my breast. Sliding my hands down his back, my nails ran along the ink, and he groaned as I left my own mark on him. My fingers found the edge of his jeans, and I pushed at them, desperate to no longer have anything between us. I felt his lips quirk up in a smile as he kissed me.

  “I want to savor every minute of this, love,” he whispered against my skin as he began to move slowly down my body as he had before, his lips and tongue mapping their own path across my flesh.

  His hot breath blew across the apex of my thighs, and I raised my bottom from the bed as his fingers gripped onto the thin fabric of my panties. Tugging at them and causing them to bite into me before yanking them down my thighs. As his eyes scanned my body, I pulled my legs together, feeling too exposed. He shook his head as he placed a hand on each of my knees and slowly pressed them apart.

  “You’re beautiful,” he whispered as my legs fell back to the bed. He backed off the edge of the bed and stood before me as he shoved down his jeans and boxer briefs in one quick motion. His hand gripped his length, slowly moving over himself as his eyes raked down my body, but I kept mine locked on his perfect face. I felt my cheeks heat and my stomach was doing flips. I ran my tongue out over my suddenly dry lips before my mouth hung open.

  “You can look, Henley,” the left side of his mouth curled up in a smirk. “I’m not embarrassed.”

  I swallowed hard as my gaze dipped just long enough to make my heart race from the size of him and the glint of metal from a barbell piercing that appeared to go directly through the tip. I suddenly felt inexperienced and sure I was going to disappoint him.

  “Whatever you’re worried about, just stop. I won’t hurt you, and we can stop at any time,” he reassured me as he bent down, placing a kiss on the inside of my knee. I gasped as his lips moved further down my inner thigh, kissing and nibbling. “I have never,” he kissed again, “wanted anyone,” another kiss, “as much as I want you right now.” As he finished his sentence, his tongue ran over my center, and all worry and fear had vanished leaving behind the primal need to show Lucas how much he meant to me.

  I laced my fingers through his hair, tugging gently and eliciting a grunt from the back of Lucas’ throat as he continued torturing me with his mouth but I couldn’t wait. The urge inside of me was all consuming. “Lucas,” I breathed, not even recognizing my own voice that sounded rough and weak. “I need you.”

  He moved his way up my body, resting his weight on his forearms as he hovered over me. “Are you sure you’re ready?” He asked.

  I nodded, unable to find my voice as he reached beside us, grabbing a foil packet from the nightstand next to the bed.

  “Oh, I’m on the pill,” I cringed. “Not because of... it was to regulate my cycle or something.”

  “That doesn’t protect against...” He closed his eyes briefly. “I get tested. I’m clean. But I thought you may still want to –”

  “I trust you.”

  He pressed his mouth against mine as he slowly rocked his hips forward, sliding effortlessly over me several times before he reached between us, gripping his length in his hand and guiding it lower.

  When he moved forward again, he entered me slowly, and I winced as my body adjusted to the foreign feeling, but it wasn’t as unpleasant and painful as I thought it would be.

  “You okay?” He asked, and I nodded, my hands clamped on his shoulders as he pressed his lips against my cheek. He moved further, and I squeezed my eyes closed as I quick burning sensation ripped through me but it only lasted a moment. He held still, and I realized I was digging my nails into his skin.

  Painfully slowly he began to move again and soon I was meeting his thrusts, my legs gripping around his hips. It wasn’t at all what I’d imagined sleeping with Lucas would be like. I expected him to be hard and rough not so gentle and concerned with how I was feeling.

  His movements became less rhythmic, and his muscles jerked and pulled beneath my fingers, and I could tell by his rapid breathing that he was on the verge of finishing. I cleared my mind and let myself enjoy this moment as pleasure washed over me in waves. I moan escaped me, and the sound unleashed something in Lucas, his own groan punctuating his finish before his sweat slicked body stilled over me.

  His mouth came down on mine in a gentle kiss before he pulled back and I winced at the sudden departure.

  Rolling beside me we both stared up at the ceiling before I giggled. Lucas glanced over at me, smiling as he propped himself up on his elbow.

  “It’s not polite to laugh at a naked man, love,” he joked, causing me to laugh even harder.

  “I can’t believe we just did that,” I whispered, afraid if I spoke too loudly I would wake up from some fever dream and discover he had never been real.

  “How do you feel?” he asked, his face marred with concern.

  “A little sore.”

  He nodded, pushing from the bed before pulling on his boxer briefs and jeans. He quickly left the room, and I grabbed my panties and bra that had been thrown in the throngs of passion and quickly pulled them on.

  He was back in a moment with a glass of water and some aspirin. I thanked him as I dumped the pills into my mouth and took a drink.

  He took the glass from my hand and began to crawl back over me, causing me to fall on my back in the mess of blankets.

  “I don’t know if I can wait for round two.”

  “Lucas?” Our bodies froze.

  I glanced toward the doorway to see a woman blocking the entrance, her body silhouetted by the hall light.

  “Harper,” Lucas yelled, the regret evident in his voice and causing his accent to thicken. I was completely mortified and suddenly felt like I was the stranger.

  Harper turned and headed down the hallway offering me a brief moment of privacy. Lucas pushed off the bed quickly buttoned his jeans and tugging on his shirt before running after her. I lay there by myself for a moment unable to process what had just happened. I had finally gotten the courage to tell him how I really feel and moments later he was chasing Harper. I swallowed against the lump in my throat and grabbed my clothing, desperate to escape his room that felt like it was closing in on me. I pulled my dress over my head and ran from the apartment. When my feet hit the pavement, my eyes darted to the street where Lucas stood, Harper right in front of him. I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth to stifle a gasp as my feet began to move.

  “Henley, wait,” Lucas called after me. I could feel the tears threatening to fall, and I needed to get as far away from him as possible.

  Chapter Forty-Six


  LUCAS

  Harper’s face was streaked with tears, her eyes puffy from what seemed like hours of crying. “What’s wrong?” I asked, grabbing her arm lightly and pulling her closer to me to comfort her.

  “I didn’t know you had someone in there. I wouldn’t have just burst in –”

  “It’s okay. Henley will understand. Just tell me why you’re crying. Did someone hurt you?”

  She swallowed hard, fresh tears gliding over the apples of her cheeks and she shook her head as if it was causing her physical pain to say the words.

  “Alex was in an accident.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

  “What?”

  She fell into my arms, and I held her against me as sobs began to roll through her. “He was on his motorcycle and a trucker ran a stop sign.” Pulling back she rubbed her face with the palm of her hand. Her body began to tremble. “He told me... He told me he is your father.”

  I clenched my jaw, wanting to say something in return but in the moment it didn’t feel like any words would suffice. “Where is... he now? Which hospital?”

  “They flew him to Savannah General.”

  I felt myself going numb inside. I’d spent so many years hating this man that I didn’t even know and I’d finally gotten up the courage to confront him only to have that tie severed violently. I didn’t know what to think or how to feel.

  “We should go,” I mumbled, rubbing my palm against my jaw.

  “You can’t drive. I’ll take you if that’s okay.”

  All I could do is nod. “I should grab my things,” the words left my mouth, but it didn’t even feel like I was the one saying them.

  I hurried back upstairs, grabbing my cell phone and a book bag. I shoved some clothing inside and slid the strap over my shoulder.

  “What’s going on?” Beef asked from the doorway as I stepped back out into the main living area. My eyes went to Harper, and I shook my head once.

  “I just have to get out of here,” I replied, stalking by him and toward the front door. I knew what it would look like. I ended the night with Henley, and now I was leaving with Harper without so much as a reason. But I wasn’t ready to spill all the details of what was going on in my life.

  “Gigi is pissed,” he called after me.

  I wanted to stop and tell him I was sorry for dragging him into all of this but she would get over the fact that Payton was his ex and I had much more pressing things on my mind.

  “I told her.”

  I stopped walking as the implications of his words hit me.

  “I told her what we did... the whole plan to catch Rhys. That you went behind my back and got Payton in on your little scheme.”

  “I don’t blame you.”

  “She told me something interesting too,” his voice rose, and I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eye. I knew what was coming, but the crushing blow to our friendship was more than I could take at the moment. “I know how all of this started. I know about you and Gigi.” He inhaled deeply before shaking his head. If he wanted to hit me, I’d let him. I deserved everything I had coming to me. “I think maybe it’s time you found your own place.”

  I glanced back at him and nodded once. That was it. We were even. He would get the girl, and I would be the one left holding my broken heart. There was no doubt in my mind Gigi would tell Henley. After all, they had gone through to teach me a lesson, it didn’t take long to figure out that it was Gigi pulling the strings since I’d slighted her.

  I couldn’t blame Beef for looking out for himself after things had gone so wrong with Payton and although I was unsuspecting, I was anything but innocent.

  “Come on,” I called over my shoulder to Harper. She followed behind me down the stairs and back out into the night air.

  My eyes scanned the road, looking for a vehicle.

  “It’s this way,” she said as she rushed by me, clicking a button on a key fob and causing a small car to unlock. I pulled open the passenger door, tossing my bag on the back seat before sliding inside.

  “Let’s go,” I called out as she slipped in next to me, pushing a button on the dash and causing the engine to come to life with a low hum.

  It felt like I’d had my life figured out just a mere twenty minutes ago and now I had no idea what was happening.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  HENLEY

  By the time I made it to my dorm, I had looked like something that had crawled out of a gutter. My cheeks were smeared with mascara and my hair was wild and knotted. Luckily, the elevator was empty, and I rode up to my room as sobs racked my body. As the doors popped open, my urge to flee vanished, and my feet were unable to move as my eyes landed on the figure sitting outside of my door.

  Rhys was slumped, sleeping against the wall, his phone in his hand. I tiptoed toward him and slowly opened the door beside him, sliding inside like the coward I was. I didn’t want to speak to him after betraying him with Lucas and just the thought of him with Payton made my stomach turn. I crawled into my bed and curled up in a ball, wishing I could disappear.

  ***

  The next morning I awoke feeling worse than the night before. I sat alone in my room for hours listening to Élégie by Faure as my phone rang off the hook, but I was too humiliated to answer. Rhys banged on my door for nearly an hour until he finally took the hint and left. I couldn’t face him.

  After I was sure I was alone, I made my way down the hall to take a nice long hot shower. I couldn’t get my mind off Lucas. As hard as I tried to be just friends with him, my heart wanted more. I decided I needed to take some time away from this place and get my head straight. After my shower, I packed a bag of belongings and called my mother. I told her I was homesick and needed a break from my work. I made myself something to eat and sat in the dark, replaying last night over and over in my head. A knock came at the door, and I sat quiet, afraid to breathe.

  “Henley?” Gigi called. “I know you’re in there. I just want to talk.” I reluctantly unlocked the door. “You look like shit,” she said as she slid passed me. I locked the door behind her.

  “Thanks.” I rolled my eyes and plopped back down on my bed.

  “Lucas –”

  “Don’t,” I cut her off, glaring at her. She put up her hands conceding her argument.

  “Fair enough.” She sighed, and we sat in silence for a few minutes as I ate my soup. “What’s with the bag?” She nodded to my luggage at the foot of my bed.

  “I’m going home for a few days,” I said, not meeting her stare.

  “Henley, you can’t just leave.”

  “I can. I am,” I replied, taking another bite. “I just need some time to think, and it’s fall break. What else am I supposed to do?”

  “You’re not even going to talk to him?”

  “Nothing to talk about.” I rolled my eyes, and she sighed dramatically.

  “So after all of this, you are just giving up and going back home.”

  “I don’t expect you to understand, Gigi.”

  “Understand what? You think these little games you and Lucas have been playing haven’t been causing trouble for the rest of us?”

  My jaw dropped at her snotty attitude. “Last time I checked, it was you who wanted to mess with Lucas in the first place. What the hell was that about anyway? Were you jealous that he was giving me attention and not you?”

  She scoffed loudly as her nostrils flared. She pointed her finger at me as she bit out every word of her angry retort. “You are such a jerk! You pretend you’re this perfect little shy girl who is too good for everyone else. The truth is, Henley, I could have had Lucas.”

  “What?”

  She nodded her head as her lips curled up in a smirk. “Yeah... right here in your room.” She laughed, but there was nothing funny about what she was saying. “Remember that guy I told you puked on your bed, and Tanner had to clean it up? Well, it was me, and I was here with him that night.”

  “What?” I could barely push out the word with the lump f
orming in my throat. Tears clouded my vision, and I wanted to break down and sob. “Why wouldn’t you tell me that? I thought we were friends!”

  “Why didn’t he tell you? Why didn’t you tell me Payton was Beef’s ex? Don’t you think I deserved to know that?”

  I laughed, shaking my head as I struggled not to scream. “Like you care about Beef anyway. Like you care about anyone but yourself.” The tears were openly flowing now, but I felt more rage than anything.

  “You’re one to talk,” she snapped, folding her arms across her chest. “But we might as well get the truth out in the open now, shouldn’t we? Like how I told Beef you were just messing with Lucas this entire time. He knows about the whole game, Henley. He knew for a while now and was messing with you too. You’re just getting what you have coming to you.”

  “Is that true?”

  “And I spent the entire night fighting with Beef after that little stunt they pulled last night because of you.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “They set you up, Henley. Lucas and Beef planned to get Rhys drunk and alone with Payton so he could cheat on you right in front of your stupid face, but you’re so wrapped up in your own damn bullshit that you didn’t even notice.”

  I lunged from the bed. “You’re lying,” I screamed. “Why would he do that?”

  Her eyes were full of tears as she continued on. “Maybe he was tired of you making him feel like he was never good enough for you. Can’t blame him there.” Her chin quivered, and now my anger was all that were keeping me from crashing to the ground.

  “Yeah, well, you missed the best part. The coup de grâce. He left me naked in his bed as he ran off with Harper last night, so I don’t really care about any of this anymore. Just let me leave.” A sob wracked my body, and she shook her head.

  “Jesus... he did that to you?”