Creeping Beautiful

by JA Huss

  You know where she is. He took her to the fuckin’ zoo.

  Oh, God. The zoo. That’s perfect. Take her to the fuckin’ zoo. Maybe he’ll put her in a cage and wrap a snake around her too.

  Uh… OK. Let’s talk about that for a moment. Why would Adam do something like that to Maggie? He wasn’t the one who put you in that cage, Indie. He didn’t wrap that snake around you. He saved you.

  Did he? Do I look saved?

  He brought you here. He gave you McKay and me.

  To keep me sane.

  So what? Does it matter why we’re here? We are here, right? We never left.

  You left.

  I did not. You knew where I was. You knew what I was doing. And any time you asked me to come see you, I did.

  It’s not the same.

  Well… I can’t take that back, Indie. The Company told me to become a doctor and—

  PSYOPS!

  I know that. I was there. But that’s not what I am now. You know that. You know I walked away from it as soon as the Company went down.

  And you could’ve come home after that and you didn’t. You went to LA.

  For my residency. Indie, it’s not fair. OK? I don’t live for you. None of us do. I have a life of my own.

  Well… so do I. That’s what I was doing for those two weeks. I was living my own life.

  It’s different.

  No, it’s not. You get to be you and I get to be me. And Adam gets to be Adam and McKay—

  It’s not the same and you know it. You know how I know it?

  I’d love to hear your theory.

  Look here. Do you see what’s in this bag?

  Tapes. So what?

  Your tapes, Indie. I have recorded one hundred and seventy-eight sessions with you, including this one right now. This is why it’s different. And you can play dumb all you want, but somewhere, deep in that head of yours, you know it’s different. This is just you being pissed off and making me work for the answers, that’s all. You feel in control when you fight me. You feel in control when I have to drag the answers out of you.

  …

  My point earlier was this. It’s not that we’re unhappy with your job performance, Indie—

  Oh, my God. Really? My job performance?

  —it’s the way you react after the job is over.

  I don’t understand? How do I react?

  You don’t react. That’s why we worry.

  What should I do? Cry and be depressed? How should I act after I do a job?

  It’s not really how you react after most of the jobs. Just… some of them. Like this one.

  What?

  This job you were on.

  I wasn’t on a job.

  You were, Indie. You know you were. Right now, you’re just lying to me and I don’t like it.

  So… I’m crazy because when I come back from certain jobs I don’t react right?

  Well, that’s part of it.

  Tell me the other part, Donovan. Because I’m tired.

  You don’t remember them, Indie. That’s what I’m trying to say. You don’t remember them. And I have a feeling you don’t remember these past two weeks either. And that’s why you’re acting like this. You don’t want me to know that. But we already know. We’ve practically had this same conversation half a dozen times before. And you don’t remember it. That’s why I tape them.

  …

  Do you believe me?

  Maybe you could play those tapes for me?

  No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.

  Then… then maybe you’re just lying.

  Do you remember where you were for the past two weeks?

  …

  You can’t just shake your head, Indie. This is an audio recording. And I don’t want to narrate like this is a court transcript. I want to hear you say it.

  Fine. Then yes. Some of it.

  Some of it?

  Most of it.

  Tell me… who were you with?

  Why do I have to be with someone?

  Indie. You’re making me very fuckin’ tired. I’m not messing around. I am very fuckin’ tired right now. All I need is a few very simple sentences of where you were, what you did, and who else was there. Then we can all eat dinner and relax.

  You mean pretend none of this happened? I thought that was part of my problem?

  There’s a difference between keeping secrets and pretending it never happened.

  I’m sick of secrets.

  So stop keeping them.

  All of them?

  Don’t start with me. You know which secrets I’m referring to.

  You’re gonna be mad.

  OK. I might be. But what do you think will happen if I’m mad? Do you think I will hurt you?

  Of course not.

  Do you think I will hate you?

  I don’t think so.

  Do you think I will help you, Indie? Do you think Adam, and McKay and I will protect you, no matter what you tell us?

  Yes. I know that.

  Then why are you afraid of us? That’s the better question here. Not why are we afraid of you, because we’re not. Why are you afraid of us?

  Don’t be stupid. I’m not afraid of you guys. I just…

  You just don’t remember, do you?

  I already told you, I remember some of it.

  Tell me those parts. And we can go from there.

  …

  You can sigh all you want. And did you hear that? I think Adam and Maggie are home. Don’t you want to see her? You can give her a bath. You can take a bath together. You always did love bubble baths. Come on. Tell me the rest. You know this has to happen. Why did you leave?

  Because I… I got offered a job.

  What job?

  You know. The regular kind.

  You went to kill someone?

  Maybe.

  Who, Indie? I need to know who.

  No one you’d know. It was no one important.

  Then why did they need to die?

  Because they were bad people.

  How do you know they were bad?

  Because she told me.

  Who, Indie? Who told you to kill the bad people?

  …

  We’re there now, sweetie. You’re already there. One more word and we’re done here. OK? Just tell me who it was.

  Angelica.

  Who?

  You know. That little Company girl that Nick Tate came and… abducted back when I was fifteen.

  You’re… sure? It was Angelica?

  Yes. Why?

  Because Angelica lives very far away from here, Indie. Like… on the other side of the fuckin’ planet somewhere. No one even knows where that girl lives. Maybe three people in the whole world, tops. And none of them live in this house.

  So? I did jobs in lots of faraway places. And no one knows where I live either. Except you guys.

  Indie… Angelica is retired.

  Well… I think that would be news to her.

  So you’re telling me that Angelica Fenici is working? That she came to you and gave you a job? And that’s where you’ve been for the past two weeks? With Angelica?

  Yup. Can I go take a bath with Mags now?

  …

  Donovan?

  What?

  Are we done? Can I go take a bubble bath now?

  Sure, Indie. Yes. I think that sounds like a good idea. Send Adam in, will you?

  ADAM!!!! DONOVAN WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!

  I could’ve done that.

  Good night, Donovan.

  Good night, Indie.

  …

  ADAM: What’s up? What did she say?

  She’s lost her fuckin’ mind. At least… that’s the best-case scenario here. Because if what she just told me is true, then we have a very big problem.

  SESSION #178 NOTES - PRIVATE

  SESSION NOTES - PRIVATE

  I don’t think I can do this anymore. I know I’ve said it before, but this time I mean it. I can’t go through this ag
ain.

  This is the eighth time.

  Eight times Indie has gone off script.

  Eight times we had to backtrack her every move and figure out what she did.

  Eight times we told ourselves it was a one-off.

  Eight motherfucking times we played her favorite game. The one called Let’s-Pretend-That-Didn’t-Happen.

  Eight. Goddamned. Times. I’ve written a session note just like this.

  And that, right there? That’s the definition of insanity.

  I try and remember why I took this job. Why, exactly, I talked Adam into buying this girl. And I swear to God. I know I did this. I remember those words that came out of my mouth back on that island. I have the motherfucking session tapes, and notes, and private thoughts from Indie’s first year and I have read them so many times I could recite them from memory.

  But for the life of me, I cannot come to terms with what the fuck I was thinking.

  Carter is dead.

  Dead. Dead. Dead. Like everyone else. He is dead.

  He’s not out there running little girls like Indie.

  He’s not out playing Company.

  He’s gone.

  That was my father’s final job before Adam and I helped Nick, and Sasha, and James kill two hundred people in Santa Barbara.

  But I was young, I guess. So fuckin’ sure of myself. My brain, and my money, and my Untouchable status.

  I can’t do this anymore.

  CHAPTER TWENTY - ADAM

  FOUR YEARS AGO

  Indie has to be lying about Angelica. I don’t know the girl, but I know who she’s with. Just before the Company totally fell apart, while I was still in the hospital, I got a letter from the Shadow of Secrets himself. He was thanking me for being one of the ‘good guys’. Which made me pause and ponder the meaning of ‘good’ for a while. But then, when I read on, he told me he thought about our little talk down in Daphne, Alabama and decided to let Angelica live. She was with his sister, Harper, and James Fenici.

  I didn’t think much about it back then. I mean, I was on to the dude. It was only a suspicion, but in my world a good hunch is just about the same thing as the truth.

  I knew things no one else did. Even Donovan didn’t know as much about what was really going on as I did.

  But here’s the only thing that matters now.

  There is no fucking way in hell that James Fenici let his girl, Angelica, go back to work. It’s also highly improbable that Angelica took off the way Indie did. James Fenici would hunt her down, take her home, and tie her up until she came back to her senses.

  But I get the feeling that Angelica is a lot better-adjusted than Indie and thus has never lost her senses.

  This doesn’t make me feel any better though. Because that Nick shadow was right when he warned me that Indie will never be normal. She will always have that secret side that makes her dangerous. And here we are. Not even twenty years old and she’s delusional.

  Regardless, I have to find out about Angelica. This situation is serious and there is no more room for hunches.

  It takes almost a week to hunt down James and leave enough messages with various mutual acquaintances for him to notice me. And then another week before I see that dude—just as scary as I remember him from back in the day—leaning against a brick building and watching me with piercing green eyes from the corner of Royal and St. Phillip in New Orleans as I make my way over towards Misha’s little bar.

  I stop short and just look at him, trying to decide if I should back away or keep going and have the conversation I asked for.

  A horn honks and I realize I’m standing in the middle of the street. So I continue crossing St Phillip just as he pushes off the wall and meets me at the curb.

  He points to Misha’s bar, just a few storefronts up. “Let’s have a drink, Adam.”

  I don’t say anything. Just follow him. This meeting is no accident, obviously. If you mention James Fenici’s name enough times to the right people, he will appear like a conjuring at the least convenient time.

  I was going to Misha’s anyway, but I wasn’t planning on introducing her to the most infamous Company assassin to ever walk this earth.

  He opens the door for me and a small bell jingles above our heads as we enter. It’s early afternoon, but inside it’s dim, and the shadows play against the walls.

  I flash two fingers to Misha, who is behind the bar and watching me curiously, then point to a table in the back. James follows me, and for a moment we nearly fight over the chair that faces the door.

  I put my hands up and back off, taking the chair with the next-best view.

  James leans his forearms on the table, hands together, his green eyes smiling along with his mouth. He stares at me for a moment as Misha appears with two glasses of whiskey. James glances up at her, says, “Thanks, Misha,” and then downs it in one gulp and says, “No more for me, thanks.”

  I catch Misha raising one eyebrow at me. But I send her a look that says, Don’t ask. And she takes the hint and leaves without a word.

  “Would you consider her a good friend? An acquaintance? Or just a booty call?”

  I glance at Misha, who has returned to her spot behind the bar, but with her back to us now. “Good friend, I guess.”

  “You might want to rethink that.”

  “Oh?” I look at him, not sure what to make of that statement.

  “She sold you out once.”

  “Once? When?”

  “More than once. Few years back. Before everything went down.”

  “Well, I’m still here. Must not have been too serious.”

  “That’s how she bought this bar, you know.”

  “Did you come here to warn me about Misha? Or because I spoke your name to the right people?”

  “Both, I guess. I’ve been waiting for you to get rid of her. Thought I’d speed that up a little. Seeing as how you’re starting to settle in here.”

  Is he… has he been watching me? I’m not afraid of James. He’s old now. Early forties, at least. I’m in my prime. And I don’t know what he’s been doing for the past five years since the Company fell, but I’ve been busy running shit. Some might even refer to what I’ve put together as a mini-Company—minus all the political connections because pretty much all those people are dead now. And James Fenici might even be one of those people who see things that way. I might not be off-the-rails insane like he is, but I can do damage if I have to.

  Still. The thought of him keeping track of me is… unsettling.

  “I wasn’t really in the market for some personal advice, James—”

  “What kind of market are you in, then?”

  “I have a question for you about Angelica.”

  And that. That right there. That look in his eyes. Yeah. My stomach clenches up. Because there is something deeply wrong with this man and he might be able to hide it most of the time, but just uttering Angelica’s name brings up the animal lurking beneath the surface.

  His eyes are narrowed down into very thin slits. “What about her?”

  “Let me just explain that the reason I’m asking is because Indie has told me some things and she brought up Angelica’s name. That’s it. That’s the only reason I’m asking. OK?”

  “So ask.”

  “Is she working?”

  His eyes open wide again. “Angelica?” He laughs. “No, brother. And she’s not for hire, either.”

  Both of my hands go up in defense. “I’m not looking to hire her. It’s just… Indie. She’s… she said that Angelica came to her with a job. She said they’re working together.”

  James leans back in his seat. His whole posture changes, becomes more relaxed. “She’s mistaken. Angelica lives at home still. She just turned eighteen a few weeks ago and she might have big dreams about all the possibilities her new adult status might bring, but…” He chuckles a little. “Yeah. That’s not gonna happen. She’s about as normal a girl can be after spending her childhood being trained by the Company.�
��

  I let out a long breath. “OK.”

  James nods. “That it?”

  “Yeah. That’s it.”

  “You having some kind of trouble with Indie I should be aware of?”

  “Nothing we can’t handle.”

  “Well, excuse me for saying so, but you don’t seem too sure about that, Adam.”

  “We have a system and it’s been working… OK. So far. But she took off for two weeks and we didn’t know where she was. Then she fed me this story about Angelica and I just… I already knew it was bullshit but I had to hear it from you. You understand, right?”

  “Believe me, I get it. Not a single fucking day goes by that I’m not looking at Angelica with a critical eye. Is she being aggressive? Did she just look at that person funny? I have to know where she is every minute of the day or I go insane. And if she disappeared for two weeks…” He shakes his head. “No. I would not deal with that very well. Did you try to trace her?”