Beasts

by Angelina Kanan

  I moved on to another station, where they were designing vibrant flower crowns. My fingers were clumsy and unpracticed as I struggled to loop the flowers around the vine in a way that made sense. People soon began to help and give me tips and pointers about what would work with distinct flower types. It took several attempts before I was able to create something that I was proud of. I placed it on my head, showing off my hard work.

  I did many things as the day passed. An older couple spent time walking me through glass sculpting, one of the guardians helped me to design my own leather thigh sheath for my blades, and I got to paint a few different designs on people. Leith was having his own fun learning, joining me every once in a while to compare our progress.

  We saw more street performers the more we wandered. Some had instruments, others magic tricks. There was a dais at the intersection of different streets, people slowly gathering around it. As we drew closer, I drew in a sharp breath. Sebastian was in the center of the dais. His eyes were closed, his body moving gently to the music being played. His pants were brown, and he was barefoot, his shoes at the edge of the dais with his shirt. Leather bracelets decorated one of his arms, tattoos covering the rest of his skin. I'd never noticed how many tattoos he had. Peace overtook his face as he glided across the floor soundlessly. He was a beast of a man, yet he moved with a grace that was mesmerizing.

  My stomach dropped as I noticed Nomi and Tasmin right next to the dais. They, too, weren’t wearing shoes. My mind wandered through every scenario. Despite what Lucian had said, my wolf still felt threatened by them. Tasmin moved away to get a drink at a nearby table. She must’ve just finished dancing. Nomi looked like she was just about to begin, stepping onto the dais behind Sebastian. She moved opposite him without needing to watch him. It was clearly well-rehearsed, something they’d done before.

  He slowed to a stop, as though he sensed she was there, and moved away from her. He turned around, eyes searching, and landed on my face. My breath caught at the look he gave me, his eyes heated. He leapt off the dais, striding toward me purposefully. I took a step back, his intensity hitting me in waves. I couldn’t tell if this was anger or something else. He stopped a little bit away from me.

  “Take off your shoes.” It was a soft request, and I did it without question.

  His eyes stayed locked onto mine, hand outstretched for me to take. His eyebrows were pulled together, and he seemed nervous I would refuse. He was pleading with me. I placed my hand on top of his, deciding to let go of my fear and join him. We made our way back onto the dais. As the music started back up, he tugged on my arm, pulling me to his body. Still looking into my eyes, his lips turned into a smile as he slowly took a step back. My body reacted on instinct, moving forward to match his step. He continued taking steps, my feet following his like they knew the dance. We were moving fluidly, his arms manipulating me where I needed to go. He swung me away, spun me around and pulled me back into the warmth of his body. One of his hands stayed on my hip, the skin from his fingertips leaving sparks on my bare midriff. Without thinking, I moved around him, instinct and feeling taking over.

  Like many times before, the world fell away in the background. All that existed was him and me. Every time one of us moved around the other, our eyes came back searching. We stayed connected; our pace matched by our breaths. My heart was hammering as I stared into his eyes. I was tingling all over, overcome with this feeling. It was like a good fight, our bodies anticipating the next movement and matching it. No one was ahead of the other, bodies coming together and away in harmony.

  My hand fit perfectly in his, my curves resting comfortably no matter where they made contact on his body. I couldn’t find enough air as I continued to get lost in his eyes, falling faster than I ever thought was possible. His arms glided up my back, reminding me he was here and wouldn’t let me get hurt; it was okay to fall.

  Emotion rose in my throat at the realization. He was here, and he had me, and he had no intention of going anywhere. Tears were threatening to gather in my eyes, but I refused to feel anything but joy. For the first time in a long time I felt that this could last. He wouldn't leave me.

  The music rose and fell in the background, commanding the energy between us. They grew in tandem, as though a cord were pulling us along, forcing us to follow. I felt my hair swaying with every spin and each turn of my head. I had made a good choice to allow my hair to stay down. The sky was darkening in the background; the moon illuminating his face. His eyes were dark, forehead glistening. As the music began to lull, we followed.

  I was pulled close to him again, our bodies moving directly against each other like they had at the beginning. Our hips came together and away, followed by a tightening in my stomach. His hand came up, brushing my hair away from my neck. His face moved down by mine, his breath warm against my face as his lips ghosted past mine. He dipped me low, my back leaning against his immense strength. His eyes had me captivated as he held me there. He kept my gaze, bringing me back up to face him as the music slowed to a stop.

  We stood there, drowning in each other’s eyes, not wanting to go back to reality. Our breathing was quick and shallow, both of us sweaty and smiling. In that exact moment, I remembered what it felt like to be overcome with nothing but love. It was unending, a blanket of comfort and light. I felt together and whole and at peace. He was meant for me, and I would do whatever it took to keep him.

  He blinked slowly, and I followed, remembering we had an audience. I had forgotten Nomi had been dancing with him. He hadn’t even noticed her, his focus entirely on me. We were so caught up in each other, the clapping didn’t reach my ears until now. His smile grew as he looked around at his people. Their joy was contagious. They loved seeing him like this. We stepped off the dais, both of us putting our shoes on. I stole his shirt before he could put it back on, smirking at him as I made my way to where I had left Leith.

  Leith had both of his eyebrows raised as I came over, “What, and who, was that?” He laughed. I laughed with him, not having an answer.

  Sebastian didn’t take long to catch up, placing an arm around my shoulders and bringing me to his side, lips teasing my ears. “Can I have my shirt back, please?”

  “I don’t think so…” I bit my lip, giggling playfully.

  He didn’t respond, turning to Leith. “Your turn?”

  “After that little show? Hell no.”

  “What?” Sebastian laughed and turned to me. “Don’t let him fool you, he’s a better dancer than I am.” The three of us laughed, thinking about Leith dancing.

  “No one is going to be dancing after that show tonight.” Tasmin’s voice cut through our laughter. Nomi was at her side as the three of us turned to look at them. “Sebastian has always been a wonderful dancer, but that was magic.” She looked at me when she spoke, a genuine smile reaching her eyes. “You will make a beautiful queen and a powerful couple.”

  “Should you finish the Hunt.” Nomi finished for her, not looking as happy as Tasmin.

  I smiled at her, no longer feeling threatened. She meant nothing to Sebastian, and I felt embarrassed that I hadn’t believed that from the beginning. “I will, and I can’t wait to show anyone who thinks otherwise.” Her eyes narrowed slightly, but she turned and walked away without another word.

  Tasmin rolled her eyes, “Forgive her. Her loyalty is hard to win, but once you’ve got it, she’s yours for life.”

  CHAPTER 31

  We stayed out a little longer so we could all eat. Some of the warriors who’d come to Old Moon came and joined us, introducing me to their families and mates. The food never stopped amazing me, although it made sense when they explained it. This was centuries of learning being displayed. Everyone wanted to put their best out there in celebration of the moon goddess.

  Tasmin had stayed to eat with us. Her, Leith and Sebastian were so at ease, telling stories and teasing. It was nice to see my mate so relaxed compared to his usual serious composure. They didn’t fail to make me feel includ
ed, and I got along with them like they were longtime friends of mine.

  Sebastian and I walked around a little after, not wanting the night to end. He was holding my hand lightly and glanced over at me. “That was something else today.”

  I smiled at him, “Yeah, I’ve never really danced before, so I’ve never experienced anything like that.”

  He shook his head, a smile coming on his face. He was quiet, replaying it in his head as I had done all night. “I’ve danced a lot, but that was different. The goddess was there with us, our bond was strong.”

  We were walking away from the streets, heading out toward the forest. “I felt that, too.”

  A comfortable silence fell over us and I thought of all the feelings I’d experienced today. This was the life I never knew I wanted. His voice cut through the air, “I’d like to ask you something.”

  “Then ask.” Grass was tickling my ankles as we went further away from the kingdom. There was so much freedom here.

  He halted, taking a deep breath. “I heard Lucian took you on a tour of the castle yesterday.”

  I nudged his arm lightly, “That’s not really a question, is it?”

  “What did he show you?” He looked concerned.

  “A room with a bunch of silver chains in it.”

  He nodded, “He told you about Drakov.”

  It wasn’t a question, yet his eyes searched mine for an answer. “Yes.”

  He turned away and continued walking further into the forest. “You must have questions for me.”

  “No, I don’t.” I didn’t want to make him talk about a subject he avoided. There was a reason I heard about it through Lucian. It wasn’t necessary for me to find out more.

  “You may ask me 3 questions. I can’t do more than that tonight, or I feel it’ll spoil my happiness.”

  “Sebastian, really. It’s fine.”

  He sighed, “I know you’re curious, and I want to be able to clear up anything Lucian might not have.”

  “Fine, but if I ask a question and you don’t want to answer it, don’t, okay?” I didn’t want to push him too far or bring up something he wasn’t ready to talk about.

  He squeezed my hand, “Okay.”

  I took a deep breath, thinking carefully. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

  “That’s your question?” He laughed, surprised. “Selene, I don’t want to talk about any of it. I wish it didn’t happen; that I could forget I ever had to go through it.”

  “I’m sorry, that’s not how I meant it. I just was wondering if there might be something you’d never been able to talk about, unprompted.” That was a feeling I could relate to. It never felt right to bring up Gabby, not wanting to burden people with my grief.

  He stilled, his breathing stopping. His head turned to the sky, and he stayed unmoving. I watched in fear that I had pushed too far already. “I’ve never told anyone about my time in questioning. It wasn’t something that ever came up in conversation. Nomi and Tasmin shared when they returned to us, but I wasn’t given the same opportunity. By the time I was released, they had been put back on the mainland.”

  Lucian had said Sebastian was gone for years. I couldn’t imagine what he had gone through in such a long time. “They ran out of ways to torture you after a while. I’m sure Lucian mentioned the popular ones- whippings, silver injections, starvation. The longer you were there, the more creative they had to be. Starvation was almost never ending. They would give you as little as possible for as long as they wanted; just enough to keep you alive. You were alone, robbed of any sounds or light. After a while, you forget things. Day and night don’t exist; days feel like weeks; you begin to go mad.” I didn’t realize we were walking again, weaving through trees. He had a destination in mind, and he was determined to get there. “I got moved around a lot, lucky enough to experience many of his unique torture rooms. I remember heat and cold, both water and ice, fire and steel. My body was pain, my mind trying desperately to escape its prison. Everything blended for so long, I can’t separate anything. Except the reapers. They were my last tormentors.”

  My stomach was swirling, much like it had when Lucian told me the story. This was all incredibly sad; I couldn’t believe there were people capable of doing this to their children-or anyone, for that matter. “The reapers caused pain beyond your imagination. They could get into your mind and control your wolf in ways that had you wishing and pleading for death. I felt my wolf get ripped apart and put back together. I went ages without feeling him, thinking I was truly alone for good. Without him, I wouldn’t even have a mate.”

  I stopped this time, tugging him close. I reached for his face to be sure he was looking at me, “You won’t ever be alone again.” He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against mine. He steadied his breathing, matching mine.

  “He would laugh, Selene.” Pain laced every shaky word. “My father… Lord Drakov would laugh. It brought him entertainment.” I ran my fingers through his hair, willing him to find some comfort from me. Sebastian had his arms around my back, holding himself steady. The coolness from the night was a stark contrast against the warmth of his body.

  “We’re almost there,” he mumbled. “Ask me another question.” Chills took over when he stepped away, his hand finding mine again.

  “It seems obvious, but I’ve always wondered. Do you regret killing him?”

  He paused, “No one’s ever cared to ask me that.”

  I had a hard time believing no one cared. “They’re probably just afraid.” Of his answer, of how he’d react. I was, but I’d spent my entire life wondering.

  “Would it scare you if I said no?”

  A few weeks ago, it would’ve. While everyone knew Sebastian had acted in the best interests of everyone, werewolves were very loyal to their alphas. It was frowned upon that Sebastian betrayed his own father. Without knowing his full story, I had drawn connections between him and my father. Being able to kill your own family was a kind of heartless I didn’t understand. Now I knew he had no other choice. “It wouldn’t scare me. I know you did what you had to.”

  “I don’t regret it, but I still wish there had been another way.” We had reached a wide clearing between the trees, slowing to a stop. “This is where the Hunt will end. You and I will meet up here, and the pack will send us off.”

  I blinked at him, “You couldn’t have said that earlier?” I was frantic. “I didn’t pay attention on how to get here!”

  He chuckled, “You won’t need to.” A dagger was pulled out of his belt, and he made a gash along his palm. He took his time rubbing his blood on some of the surrounding trees. “That should do the trick, yes?” He smiled proudly, one of his eyebrows raised. I rolled my eyes in response.

  “I can take you back to the castle now. Last question?”

  My mind had gone through several questions. I was curious if he had been satisfied with the outcome, or if he had been angry like Lucian. I wondered how he got things under control; how long it took, how many people they lost? There were questions about how the exile was organized; how many people chose to leave behind their mates or families? How many chose to stay and were killed? How many unaccounted for? I had so many unimportant questions, things I could find out some other time. There was one that meant more to me. “When was the first time you felt safe and at peace after the war ended?”

  “Hm. You’re really making me think tonight.” I could practically hear his mind racing through memories, trying to find an answer for me. “It was the second festival after we had settled everything. It was the first time I had danced in like 40 years or something. Every table was new and scattered. Festival had stopped during the war. The first festival had been disorganized as hell,” He laughed. “I didn’t know what I was doing, and everyone was out of practice. But the next year, people were more prepared. I danced like we did earlier, alone. I finally felt like I was coming back to myself.”

  CHAPTER 32

  I expected to be nervous, but this was ex
hilarating. I was in my wolf form, a blend of different brown shades. The sun was fading out of view, yet my eyes had no difficulty seeing. There were many wolves hidden in the trees, some of them had jumped out to block my path half-heartedly. It was obvious they were obstacles for the sake of tradition.

  I had the scent of Sebastian’s blood urging me forward, so I let my mind wander. I had dreamed of Gabby again. She had been a teenager this time and hadn’t brought up being sent to me to help.

  Her laugh filled my thoughts, “Your mate suits you, Selly.” I groaned, not missing her ridiculous nickname for me. “He’s everything you always wanted; he can challenge you, pushing you where you need to go.”

  She was right. I had always been worried I’d mate with a werewolf who stood no chance against my lycan strength. I’d have been miserable if my mate couldn’t handle a fight, enjoying them more than an alpha’s child was supposed to. “He’s more than that, Gabby.” Growing up, I never would’ve imagined I needed someone who understood the kind of pain most people never experienced. I’d grown up without a parent to trust and had gotten so much stolen by him. Sebastian knew a thing or two about poisonous parents. He had compassion and empathy and a sense of understanding I was unlikely to find anywhere else.

  “I know. I keep an eye on you.” I blinked back tears and reached out to hug her. She hugged me back, for the first time in 10 years. “I can’t wait to see you happy again. Remind Eli what that feels like for me.”

  I shook my head, pulling myself back to reality. She was with me everywhere I went. But not in the way I wanted or needed. I didn’t have her anymore, and I hated that my mind was doing this to me. We had hung out in my dream, back at the pool of water like in the first one. We laughed and talked, and I never wanted to leave.