The Family You Make

by Jill Shalvis

  There was the usual mob movement. The Cutler family didn’t mess around with meals. They got right to it. They might be shit at communicating with one another, but breaking bread together? That was their thing.

  Hank started to give a toast to Shirl about their anniversary, but Shirl shushed him. “Enough about us, Hank. I want to talk to Jane.”

  Jane took this all in good humor, even as everyone peppered her with questions. In fact, she gave as good as she got, asking them questions too. She asked his mom about some cat they’d been worried about at the humane society. She asked his dad about the library, wondering when he was coming back with more books. She asked Peyton about her glittery pink nail polish, and then she and Tess bonded over the latest season of something they were both marathoning that Levi had never heard of. He was amused, but also grateful and relieved, not to mention a little surprised. The Cutlers didn’t usually mess around when it came to eating, but they were interacting. And even more surprising, behaving.

  “My teacher says we’re all going to be murdered by the sun,” Peyton said out of the blue.

  Everyone stared at her.

  “It’s going to be blowed up,” she explained. “So I was thinking we should ask Santa to come early this year. I want a new bike, but I want time to ride it before we all die.”

  Everyone turned in unison to Levi for translation. “I think Peyton’s teacher probably told her class that the sun’s getting progressively brighter and hotter, which will eventually evaporate our oceans, making Earth one big desert similar to Mars. And everyone will die off.”

  “Yep.” Peyton nodded. “That’s what she said.”

  “But you’ve got plenty of time,” Levi told her. “Just over two billion years, in fact. So probably Santa doesn’t need to come early this year.”

  Peyton looked hugely disappointed, and everyone laughed. Jane gave her a sympathetic hug while his mom beamed on. Okay, Levi thought, this wasn’t so bad. His dad hadn’t even tried to pick a fight with him. Not yet anyway. And his mom hadn’t once asked him when he was going to produce a grandbaby like his sister had.

  “Pass the wine?” his mom asked him, then turned to Jane. “You’re so good with kids. Do you plan to have any of your own?”

  And there it was. “Mom.”

  “What, it’s just a question,” she said innocently.

  Jane laughed at whatever look was on his face. Probably horror.

  “Why are you laughing?” he asked her. “And seriously, why aren’t you running for the hills?”

  “Don’t pay any attention to him,” his mom said. “He’s got some drama in him. Always did, to be honest. We host a ski race for charity every year, and for years we competed as a family in the race, encouraging other families to compete with us. The year he turned ten, he announced he was refusing to be on our team.”

  “Because you were going to race in your pj’s,” Levi said.

  “And?”

  “And Dad sleeps in the buff.”

  “He was going to race in nude-colored long underwear.”

  “Yeah,” his dad said, “I’m not stupid. If I’d fallen while buck ass naked, I’d get freezer burn on my—”

  “Dad.” Tess reached over to Peyton and covered her ears.

  “Mama!” Peyton was bouncing in her seat, pointing to the peach cobbler in the center of the table. “Look, your favorite—bitches. Are we going to eat bitches?”

  “Peaches, baby.”

  “We like bitches.”

  Tess looked pained. “Peaches. And yes.”

  “So does Jasper.”

  At hearing his name, Jasper leapt up from where he’d been napping at Levi’s feet, smacking his head on the table in the process. Undeterred, he came out to blink hopefully at everyone, eyes bright, tongue lolling, tail wagging.

  “Jasper would eat anything that wouldn’t eat him first.” Tess looked at Jane. “My mom’s secret to peach cobbler is to double the butter required. It’s like crack, so I’m torn between looking good in a bathing suit or eating half the cobbler single-handedly.”

  “You shouldn’t have to choose,” Jane said. “Always eat the bitches.” She grinned at Levi, her eyes sparkling. Her entire being sparkled.

  She was having fun, and it looked good on her.

  Levi’s mom passed Jane’s breadbasket around for the second time, and just like that it was all gone.

  “It’s wonderful,” his mom said. “It’s not easy to bake at altitude.” She smiled at Peyton, who was inhaling hers. “And I bet one day, your and Levi’s kids will love baking with you.”

  “Can you die from an eye twitch?” Levi asked the room, pressing a finger to his eye. “You can, right?”

  Levi’s mom rolled her eyes, but looked at Jane. “I don’t mean to put you on the spot with the baby talk.”

  “What did you mean?” Levi asked.

  Jane put her hand on his thigh, like she was trying to comfort him, which gave his heart a pinch. Had anyone ever tried to protect him? He couldn’t remember.

  “I do see myself with kids,” Jane said. “Someday.”

  Levi looked over at her in surprise.

  She looked just as surprised at herself. “I mean . . . I’m pretty sure. I love other people’s kids.”

  “You’d be an amazing mom,” Levi told her quietly. “A kid would be lucky to have you.”

  She seemed unsure. “I don’t have a lot of experience with family. Good experience anyway.”

  Jane’s grandpa looked across the table at her, eyes soft. “And yet you’re still one of the two most amazing, warm, caring women I’ve ever met. Your grandma being the other, of course.”

  Levi’s mom smiled. “Whoever manages to win you over as the mother of their children should count their blessings.” She slid a look toward Levi.

  He shook his head at her. He’d tell her to behave, but she wasn’t programmed to behave.

  “I’m not sure what kind of a mother I’d be,” Jane said. “But I’d love to someday get a chance to be a part of a close-knit family like this one. Your son is the best man I’ve ever known. You all must be so proud of him.”

  “We are very proud,” his mom said. “He’s so smart. He always knows how to get rid of the gophers in the grass.”

  He had to laugh. What else could he do?

  “I’ve missed this,” Lloyd said. “My wife and I, we had it all, for a long time. I’ve been blessed, but I miss the family meals.”

  “How long were you married?” Levi’s mom asked.

  “Since the ice age.” He smiled. “We kept things fresh by writing love notes. I saved them all. My favorite was one she’d left for me after a fight. It said: I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn’t.”

  Everyone laughed, but no one harder than Levi’s dad.

  Levi’s mom gave him a long, hard look.

  He winked at her.

  Then she smiled.

  “Peyton, slow down on that bread or you’ll choke,” Tess said. “Remember last week when you tried to shove a whole piece in?”

  “What happened?” Jane asked.

  “I throwed up,” Peyton announced. “All over. My throwed-up ate Grandma’s new pillow.”

  “Stomach acid is strong enough to dissolve stainless steel,” Levi said.

  “Seriously?” Tess asked him. “Gross.”

  “Levi, we don’t talk about stomach acid at the table,” his mom said.

  Levi reached for his wineglass and drained it. He should have started with that.

  Jane smiled at him.

  Yep, she was having a great time.

  “Mommy says she has to walk around the block for every piece of bread she eats,” Peyton said. “She said she could’ve walked to Hawaii by now.”

  “I’m not walking my bread off,” his dad said. “I’m old. Old people don’t have to walk if they don’t want to.”

  “Amen,” Lloyd said.

  “I walk 10,000 steps a day,” Levi’s mom said proudly.
>
  “When I’m working, I get well over 20,000,” Jane said. “Yesterday I got 24,000.”

  “Wow.” Tess shook her head. “All I get from work is the occasional dick pic.”

  Levi’s mom choked. “What?”

  “Oh yes,” Tess said. “And it’s disgusting. I mean, a real man gets out there and disappoints women in person.”

  “You know you could just turn off your AirDrop, right?” Levi asked.

  Tess shrugged. “Sure, but it’s probably going to be a while until I see one in person, so . . .”

  “What’s a dix pic?” Peyton wanted to know.

  “Changing the subject now,” his mom said, looking horrified. She turned to Jane. “You work so hard. I can’t imagine all you go through on a daily basis. I always wanted to be a nurse, but I chickened out. I’d hoped one of my kids would be a nurse, but Tess loves working at the store, and Levi . . .” She looked at him like he was a puzzle she was missing a few pieces on. “He just wanted to play on the computer. How many steps did you get yesterday?”

  Levi shook his head. “I don’t know, Mom.”

  “You should look. I don’t think it’s healthy for you to sit at a computer all day.”

  “I ran five miles this morning.”

  “I’m just saying.”

  “You’re just saying what?” he asked.

  His dad pointed at him with his fork. “Don’t sass your mom. She just means you spend a lot of time making big, fancy presentations when you could be doing something else.”

  “Do you mean the PowerPoint that I created to show you what Cal had done? Because—” He was about to put a whole lot more “sass” out there, but then felt Jane’s hand on his leg again.

  “I think it was really sweet of you to make that presentation,” she said, smiling at him before turning to everyone else. “He was really worried about how to tell you all. I think it’s impressive that he was also able to lay out the proof in case of prosecution, and also to figure out a fix for you.”

  Everyone looked at Levi as if seeing him for the first time.

  “We really are so incredibly happy he brought the woman he loves home to meet us,” his mom said.

  Levi choked on his last bite of bread and nearly died, but his know-it-all sister pounded him on the back and revived him.

  Jane kissed him on the cheek, probably in thanks for not leaving her with his crazy family. “Oh, and Shirl,” she said, “you could totally be a nurse if you wanted. It’s never too late.”

  His mom nudged her husband. “You hear that, Hank? I think I should. I’m going to go back to school to be a nurse!”

  His dad looked at her. “Since when?”

  “Since now. I put my life on hold to raise the kids, and now they’re raised. One of them is even in a good relationship.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” Tess said dryly.

  Levi’s dad was staring at his mom. “If you get to go back to school, then I get to go buy that Camaro I’ve always wanted.”

  “How is that the same as going back to school to better myself?”

  “I bet my car is cheaper than your school.”

  “Are the car and nursing school free?” Levi asked. “Because as you both now know, you’re currently broke.”

  “But you’re fixing it all,” his mom said. “See? I read your whole PowerPoint and listened in at the meeting with the lawyer.”

  Levi looked at his steak knife and wondered if he could hit his own carotid artery in one try.

  “And anyway,” his mom went on, “we’re at rock bottom, right? Things can’t get worse than this, so why not dream big.”

  “I found a Camaro I want,” his dad said, bent over his phone.

  “Wait a minute,” Levi said. “You can find a car to buy online in less than two minutes, but not your own email?”

  “I have to poop!” Peyton yelled.

  “I’m pregnant,” Tess said. “Pass the peas?”

  And then she burst into tears.

  “Tess?” her mom asked, looking horrified.

  “I peed on a stick this morning and it turned b-b-blue,” Tess wailed. “And no amount of walking around the block is going to be able to hide it soon enough. So you can stop hounding Levi now, I’ve got your grandbaby number two.” She blew her nose noisily into her napkin and looked at Levi. “You’re welcome.”

  Things deteriorated pretty quickly after that. Levi had nearly had to restrain his father from leaving the house and going after Cal to “tear him apart with his bare hands,” only to be reminded by his mom that no one knew where Cal actually was. He did calm down after Levi promised that yes, they had enough evidence to put the guy away.

  His mom was surprisingly serene about the whole thing. Of course, Tess’s surprise pregnancy worked for her, giving her two grandbabies growing up right here in her house. Plus, she had Jane on backup, who’d said she’d like to be a mom someday . . .

  After dessert, he walked Jane and her grandpa out to her car. Lloyd shook Levi’s hand and thanked him for the best home meal he’d had since his wife had passed twenty years earlier. Then he got into the passenger seat of Jane’s car and shut the door, giving Levi and Jane some privacy.

  “That was fun,” Jane said.

  “You have a very odd sense of fun.”

  This made her laugh. “They’re great, Levi. And they love you so much.”

  “So . . . you’re not scarred for life?”

  “Are you kidding?” She laughed again. “That was awesome.”

  Her eyes were shining bright with good humor. Her soft, kissable lips were curved, and she was looking at him as if he was the sun and the moon, and also her heart and soul. Unable to resist, he pulled her into him, cupped her face. “I want to kiss you.”

  “Please do.”

  He did just that, sweet enough not to insult her grandpa, deep enough to pleasure them both before he pulled reluctantly back. “Jane, about tonight.”

  She smiled. “I think we pulled it off, don’t you?”

  He froze because that wasn’t what he’d wanted to talk about. He wanted to ask if it’d been real for her, but he managed a smile. “Yes,” he said, his voice soft. “We definitely pulled it off.”

  Chapter 22

  Charlotte didn’t do idle well. She liked to keep busy so her mind couldn’t get the better of her. It was one of the many reasons she loved being a doctor. Personal time, aka too much thinking time, was rare.

  But today she’d actually had the day off and, for once, no errands to run, her laundry could wait, and she was caught up on her shows. She’d hung out with Jane until she’d left to have dinner at Levi’s, and then, bored with herself, she’d made a Thanksgiving dinner. In the middle of winter. She’d done it because she hadn’t gone home to Atlanta for Thanksgiving, and sometimes a girl just needed a big, carb-loaded comfort meal.

  There was no one home to share it with. Zoe and Mariella were at work. And Jane was out, probably somewhere with Levi. There was no one else she’d want to spend time with.

  No, that was a lie. Mateo had called her yesterday. She’d been in the shower, but she hadn’t called him back. She didn’t know why.

  That was another lie, of course.

  His message had stated—in his low, sexy voice—that he was going to his mom’s for dinner and the Head in Charge of Everything was invited.

  She was a big chicken.

  She looked at the gorgeous meal in front of her and . . . packed it up. Because what she really needed was a brownie. Soft and warm and delicious. The problem was, baking had always eluded her. So she pointed at her oven. “We’re going to do this, and it’s going to be good.”

  Two hours later, she was covered in flour and on her fourth batch of brownies. The first batch had sunk. The second and third batches had burned on the bottom. “This is it,” she told the dough. “I’m outta flour after this. You’re my last shot.” She put it into the oven and sat on the floor, watching them through the small oven window.

  When t
he brownies began to rise, she pumped a fist. “Yes!”

  Her phone buzzed. The scheduled OR doc was going home sick and she was up. She looked into the oven at the brownies. “So close . . .” With a sigh, she turned off the oven and headed to the hospital.

  Hours later, she was in a corner of the hospital cafeteria in between patients, taking a rare break. They’d been beyond busy. Four cars had piled up on the summit because the roads had become ice sheets and people were always in a hurry. Two deaths. And then there’d been a crash of a different sort when a duo of skiers had thought it smart to sneak up High Alpine and ski down the ungroomed, blocked-off back side—by moonlight. Only problem, there was no moonlight tonight. They’d hit each other at over twenty miles an hour.

  Neither had survived.

  All needless deaths, and yet having had her hands on each of them, she felt the weight of their passing as if it’d been her fault. She didn’t know why sometimes the chaos and trauma she saw hit her harder than others, but tonight was one of those times. Looking around the cafeteria at the groups of people talking and comforting each other, she reached for her phone. Craving the comfort only her mom could supply, she called home.

  “Hey, baby,” her mom answered softly, sleepily. “Are you okay?”

  Horrified, she looked at the time. It was ten P.M. Which was one A.M. for her parents. “Oh my God, I forgot how late it was for you. Go back to sleep.”

  “No, I’m so glad it’s you.” Her mom’s voice was more alert now, and there was a soft rustling, as if she was sitting up in bed. “I was hoping to hear from you this week. Are you okay? Is anything wrong? When are you coming home?”

  “Mom.” Charlotte couldn’t have stopped the emotion in her voice if she’d tried. “I’m so sorry I woke you.”

  “Enough about that. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Nothing really.” She cleared her throat, but the emotion couldn’t be budged. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

  “Ah, honey. Tough night?”

  “Yeah.” She closed her eyes and let her mom’s voice wash over her. She missed her. Missed the big old kitchen, where her mom had never had a problem baking. The whole house was always scented with something delicious.