No Ordinary Christmas

by Talia Hunter

  Number one, Gus was only given a three-day suspension and was back at school on Monday, enjoying his notoriety as the King of Pranksters.

  And number two, a few days after The Incident and two days before prom, I arrived at school to discover Gus had gotten hold of dozens of ‘Hello My Name Is…’ name cards, written Willow on every card, and attached them to every shrub, plant, and tree in the school.

  Hundreds of Willow Bushes, everywhere I looked.

  When I saw Gus laughing while the school janitor pulled all the cards down, I realized there’d be no justice, and Gus would never stop. In spite of Mrs. Watson, I’d earned enough credits to get my diploma, so I didn’t need to stick around. And I couldn’t stomach staying if it meant I’d be Willow Bush forever.

  “This town isn’t all bad,” my sister said. She nodded at the Lennox house. “Did you happen to see any of Edward’s sons while you were snow bombing his place?”

  “I saw Mason. Luke Penn was with him.”

  “See? At least San Dante has its share of single hotties.”

  I grunted. It hardly mattered what the men in town looked like, because after The Incident, I could barely look any of them in the face.

  “I blasted them with snow,” I said. “And not a polite sprinkle, either. It was full-force.”

  “I still can’t believe there are so many people who want fake snow.”

  “That’s Vegas. It’s a good business, even if I’m sick of everything to do with Christmas.”

  “Everyone likes Christmas.”

  I snorted. Growing up, she’d endured the same strained holiday meals as I had. “There are only so many ho-ho-hos I can stand before I want to throw-throw-throw up,” I told her.

  She laughed and I grinned back. I had to admit, I liked being friends with my sister again. I’d barely spoken to her since I left town.

  “It’s a shame you can’t stick around for Christmas day,” she said, maybe thinking the same thing I was.

  “I have to get back to work.”

  “Thanks for coming to my wedding, Will.” She gave me a sincere smile, and I instantly forgave her for scheduling it at such an inconvenient time.

  “Of course I came, Hol. Wouldn’t miss it.”

  “The rehearsal dinner’s in a couple of hours. Don’t be late, okay?”

  “I won’t.” I slid out of the car. “I’ll go right back to your place to change, as soon as the flowers are gone.”

  “Almost finished,” she promised.

  I watched her drive away before turning toward my car.

  And yelped.

  Edward Lennox had appeared out of nowhere, and was standing between me and my car.

  “I’ve been waiting for you.” He stated the obvious.

  I eyed him warily. He was in his sixties, wearing baggy old-man jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, and though I was no hairdresser, I had a strong urge to get out a pair of scissors to trim his eyebrows.

  “I told you, I thought I was snow bombing Mrs. Watson’s house. She said she was having a party and wanted to decorate with snow. It’s what I do for a living.”

  “She fooled you. Don’t you want revenge?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He nodded over his shoulder at my SUV. “That’s a big car, and you have all kinds of things in there, don’t you? The back looks full.”

  “So?”

  “Don’t you want to prank her back?”

  “Not really.” Pulling my car keys out of my pocket, I went past him, heading to my driver’s door.

  “Whatever she paid you for that snow trick, I’ll match it.”

  I stopped. Thought it over. Then shook my head and took another step to the car.

  “Okay, I’ll double it.”

  I turned back to face him. I had to admit, it was getting tempting. Coming to Holly’s wedding had cost me a lot in lost bookings.

  Besides, thanks to Mrs. Watson, I’d fallen through Edward’s front door and slammed into Luke’s chest. When Luke hustled me into a patrol car, she hadn’t tried to stop him. And that barely adequate grade she’d given me was pretty much a metaphor for my entire life in San Dante. As hard as I’d worked, nothing had gone right for me here.

  “I won’t do anything bad,” I warned Edward. “Nothing that might cause damage or hurt anyone.”

  He waggled his enormous eyebrows at me, a devious grin on his face. “I’m open to suggestions.”

  I hesitated a moment longer. But hey, I owed Mrs. Watson nothing. And what did I really have to lose?

  “Well,” I said slowly. “You know those annoying greeting cards that play a melody when you open them? They have a chip inside that’s programmed with a tune. Guaranteed to drive the recipient nuts in under ten seconds.”

  He rubbed his hands together. “I like this idea so far. Go on.”

  “I have fifteen of the chips programmed with Christmas carols. They were for a client who came to their senses and realized what a terrible idea they were as soon as I turned one on. What if I hid all fifteen of them on Mrs. Watson’s porch?”

  He chortled, his eyes twinkling. “She’s out right now, but I don’t know for how long. We’ll need to be quick.”

  “I’ll do it. You keep a lookout.”

  I got the chips out of my van. They were switch activated, and almost as small as the ones they put into greeting cards. Small enough that I could slip all fifteen into my pocket.

  Edward stood on the street, looking from left to right in a conspicuous way. “If I see Trixie coming, I’ll make a bird sound, like this. Caw! Caw!”

  Though I was already regretting it—Because seriously, how did I get myself into these situations?—I crept up Mrs. Watson’s creaking front steps. Her house wasn’t as well maintained as Edward’s. The wood under my feet felt soft, and the paint was so old it had mostly worn off. An out-of-control vine covered one side of the house.

  The general shabbiness made for lots of places to hide the chips, but I was also getting an even stronger feeling that my first instincts had been right, and I should have just driven away.

  I hid a chip inside the overgrown vine, and turned it on. The tune for We Wish You A Merry Christmas came out, sounding even worse than I’d remembered, the notes flat and electronic.

  Edward clapped his hands, chuckling gleefully. “That’s good,” he called up to me. “Nice and loud.”

  I slipped a few more of the chips into nooks and crannies around Mrs. Watson’s front porch, then looked around, searching for more hiding places. My gaze drifted up. Hiding a few on her roof would flummox her for sure.

  Climbing onto her top porch rail, I reached up to tuck a few chips into Mrs. Watson’s front gutter.

  “What are you doing?” Edward called. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

  I snorted. “This is nothing. I climb all over roofs when I’m stringing up Christmas decorations. It’s part of the job.” The porch rail was barely more than waist high, and it was a wide, safe piece of wood. Admittedly, it had seen better days. Its paint job was barely more than a faded memory, and a few nails were sticking up, but as long as the wood didn’t break I was at no risk of falling.

  A dog barked from inside Mrs. Watson’s house, and my pulse quickened.

  “She has a dog?” I hissed.

  “That’s just Xul the Destroyer.” Edward waved a hand. “Don’t worry about him.”

  “Oh, yeah, he sounds totally harmless. Xul the freaking Destroyer?”

  “Trust me, he’s old and toothless. He won’t give you any trouble.”

  I refrained from pointing out that I didn’t trust him. Edward was also old, and he was giving me plenty of trouble.

  But I only had four more chips to plant, and already the sound coming out of the speakers was setting my teeth on edge. All the chips were playing the same song, but they’d started at different times, making a cacophony of sound, like a beginner choir all trying out their recorders at once.

  “Caw!” yelled Edward suddenly. “CAW, CAW, CAAA
AW!”

  I jerked around. Mrs. Watson’s car was pulling into her driveway. Her face was angled up at me, and her eyes were wide and astonished. Bringing her phone to her ear, she gabbled into it.

  Time to run.

  I moved to jump off the handrail onto the porch, and my boot caught on one of the sticking-up nails. Lurching forward, I reached up and grabbed the gutter to steady myself. For a moment, I was safe, breathing out with relief as I found my feet. Then somehow I took a step back and found nothing but air.

  I fell with a piece of rotten plastic gutter still clutched in my hand. And I fell the wrong way. Not a short, painless drop onto the porch, but a longer and far more unpleasant drop into an overgrown bush on the other side.

  A prickly bush.

  Covering my face with my arms, I yelped as I was stabbed all over by a hundred sharp branches. Most of them were small enough to instantly snap, but a big one must have snagged me, because I heard the back of my elf dress rip.

  “Saboteur! Vandal! Thief!” yelled Mrs. Watson, climbing out of her car. “Stay right where you are. The police are on their way.”

  I landed in a tangle of broken twigs and lay groaning. Mrs. Watson loomed over me, berating me loudly as I ran my hands over my poor, scratched skin, amazed not to find any blood.

  Where was Edward Lennox? Had he fled? He wasn’t rushing to help me, the traitor.

  I was just thinking about pulling myself off the ground and trying to explain myself to Mrs. Watson, when I heard the approaching siren of a police car.

  Chapter Four

  Luke

  Reckless. Careless. Impulsive.

  Willow was all of those things.

  Peering through the window of the interview room, I saw her sitting at the table. Her elf costume was even more dishevelled than before and her long hair was tangled. There were holes in her striped leggings and a dark smudge of dirt across her cheek. But her chin was jutting at a defiant angle and the glint in her eyes reminded me of a lit fuse fizzing its way up to an explosive powder keg.

  On a scale of how dangerous she was to be around, I’d rank spending time with her only slightly below having to shut down a wild gang party at three in the morning.

  At least she wouldn’t be in San Dante for long. She’d blast through town leaving chaos in her wake, and after she was gone, I’d have to forget her all over again.

  This time, I’d make sure it was easy.

  But when I walked into the interview room, she was so beautiful my heart stuttered. She was so beautiful that even the death glare she was giving me didn’t make her less attractive.

  She tapped a single fingernail on the table, the tiny movement signalling an irritation bigger than mere words could express.

  “Luke, what are you doing here?” Her tone was curt, but her gaze ran down my body, lingering over my uniform.

  I closed the door behind me and sat on the other side of the table in the small, windowless room. Though these rooms were all air-conditioned, they usually smelled stale from having so many desperate people sweat in them over the years. But all I could smell was Willow’s perfume, an enticing vanilla scent. Very nice, and just like her not to go for something floral.

  “I heard about the arrest, and figured I could help. But there’s not much I can do about the charges against you, now you’ve been booked.” I’d finished for the day and had been heading home to change. Instead I’d turned around and come running.

  “They’re seriously charging me?” She sounded incredulous.

  I nodded. “The arresting officer already wrote up the incident. Did he explain the charges?”

  “Oh, he was very informative.” She rolled her eyes. “If you can’t get me off the hook, how exactly did you figure you could help?”

  “I could give you a lift out of here.”

  “Police wages are so bad, you’re doubling as an Uber driver?”

  “If you stay here any longer, you’ll be late for your sister’s wedding rehearsal.”

  Willow let out a heartfelt groan, scrunching her cute nose. “The wedding rehearsal. I forgot. What time is it?”

  “Just after five. If we leave now, we’ll almost make it in time.”

  Her brow creased. “I have to change.”

  “Stopping at your place will take too long. Isn’t it better to be on time and wearing an elf dress, rather than late and wearing…?”

  She stood up and turned around, and I forgot how to form words. Her dress was torn up the back and gaping open. Her shapely behind was clad only in red striped leggings that lovingly cupped her butt cheeks in a snug fit.

  Turning back to face me, she put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows.

  I cleared my suddenly bone-dry throat, and stood up. “Okay. Sure. We’ll stop at your place.”

  She sucked in a breath and her shoulders drooped a little, some of her anger easing. “Thanks for offering to drive. And sorry for snapping at you. I’m angry with myself for getting dragged into the Trixie versus Edward feud all over again. It’s been the worst day ever.”

  “So you’re not enjoying being back in San Dante?” I asked jokingly, holding the door open for her.

  As she went past me into the hallway that led to the lobby, she gave a derisive snort. “Arrested twice? Elf costume ruined? About to be berated by Holly for being late to her rehearsal? So far, San Dante’s been a blast.”

  “Hey,” said a man’s voice from behind us. “Look at that, it’s Willow Bush. Hey, Willow Bush! Remember me? What happened to your dress?”

  Willow’s walk sped up. I turned to scowl at Gus. He’d emerged from another of the interview rooms, an irritating smirk on his face.

  “Shut your mouth, Gus,” I growled. “You’re not in high school anymore. You can’t get away with that shit.”

  His eyes were still on Willow. Specifically, on her gorgeous butt as she speed-walked toward the lobby. Her dress was flapping, her striped leggings highlighting the movement of her buttocks.

  “Show me your green…” Gus started. Then he abruptly stopped talking.

  I was up in his face, my nose all but hitting him between the eyes.

  “I told you to shut up, Gus.” I pitched my voice low. “One more word, and you and me will have a big problem.”

  He swallowed, taking a step back. Working alongside him hadn’t made me like Gus any better than I had when we were at school. He was a blowhard and a bully. And judging by his expression, the dislike in my eyes was probably obvious.

  “Never call her that again,” I ordered. “In fact, don’t ever speak to her again.” I glowered at him a moment longer, watching him realize how serious I was.

  When he started to stammer something that was more likely to be an excuse than an apology, I turned and went after Willow.

  She was already outside, halfway down the front steps, and I caught her arm to slow her down.

  “You okay?” I asked. “Want something to tie around your waist?”

  She shook her head, the breeze whipping her long curls around her face. “Don’t bother. I just want to get out of here.”

  “Car’s over here.” I led her to my Ford and she slid into the passenger seat.

  “At least I get to ride up front this time,” she muttered.

  “Sorry about Gus.”

  “Oh no, it was great to see him. He’s just as delightful as he was at school. I missed him.”

  I gave her a little smile as I started the car and pulled away. It was hard not to let my gaze linger on her instead of the road. I liked looking at her. I liked studying her cute exclamation-point nose, the rounded curve of her cheeks, and the wild way her hair curled around her face. Her eyes were light brown, and when they weren’t sparking, they usually looked innocent. At least compared to most people I arrested.

  “I hate this town,” she said after a while.

  “San Dante?” I couldn’t keep the surprise from my voice. What wasn’t to like about a small town on the Californian coast with a gorgeo
us white beach, tropical weather, and great cafés? Tourists flocked to the place, driving the price of real estate through the roof, though there were few enough of us year-round locals that we mostly knew each other.

  “Nobody knows me in Vegas.” She picked at one of the holes in her leggings. “Sometimes I even go entire days without being insulted, humiliated, or arrested.”

  “Running into Gus was bad luck.” I turned the corner, heading toward her place. “He’s an asshole.”

  “A giant, pus-filled asshole with blistering sores.”

  “No argument from me. But most people in town are decent.”

  She gave a disbelieving grunt.

  “You have to admit that people in Vegas aren’t as friendly as they are here,” I said, not even sure why I was trying to change her opinion of our home town. “I’ve been working a local beat for six years and I still think this town is the best place in the world.”

  “Really? Then how come neither Mrs. Watson nor Edward Lennox tried to stop me getting arrested?”

  I grimaced, conceding the point. “The town has its quirks, and they’re two of the quirkiest. But they’re usually harmless. Gus is the only one with real personality issues.”

  She shot me a sideways look. “But you both became cops together?”

  “Not together. He only became a cop a couple of years ago, and we joined for different reasons. He doesn’t want to help anyone, he just gets off on telling people what to do.”

  “And you want to help people.” She said it like it was the hokiest thing in the world. No need to physically roll her eyes again, because her voice was dripping with the verbal equivalent of a thousand-megawatt eye-roll.

  “Is that really so bad?” I asked mildly.

  “Didn’t you basically raise your younger sister? I’d have thought you’d have had enough of looking after people.”

  I kept my gaze on the road, but I was surprised she remembered my sister, or knew that I’d taken care of her after our mother died.

  Before I’d asked Willow to prom, we hadn’t known each other that well. We were in different classes at school, and I was pretty sure she hadn’t noticed me watching her run laps with the track team. She wasn’t built like a runner and her legs weren’t long enough to be really competitive, but it was obvious she enjoyed running, even if she trailed the other runners.