Beg For You (Rocktown Ink #1)

by Sherilee Gray

  And when my father found out I knew that Chris had been using…let’s just say our relationship had never recovered. I’d spent the better part of the last ten years trying to get him to love me again.

  Turned out I’d failed.

  My cab pulled up beside me and I climbed in, quickly giving him the address, urgency riding me.

  It felt like hours, not thirty minutes.

  Finally, I was standing on the pavement outside Rocktown Ink, my heart thundering in my chest. The lights were on upstairs in Cal’s apartment, and I could also hear music. There was no way he’d hear me knocking. I pulled my phone from my clutch, and ignoring the blinking light alerting me to a voice mail from my father, I called Cal’s number.

  I heard the music being turned down from the street, then Cal’s deep, gravelly voice rumbled down the line. “Cassy?”

  “Will you let me up? I need to come up.” My voice came out almost shrill, but there was no schooling it or the urgency I felt to be with him in that moment.

  “You’re here?” More gravel in his voice, lifting goose bumps over my entire body. A shadow loomed in front of the window upstairs and I knew he was looking down on me.

  I didn’t bother answering. I knew he could see me, and I couldn’t get a word out even if I tried.

  The shadow moved away. “I’m coming down.”

  His voice sounded strained, a note to it I didn’t understand but caused an unhappy roll low in my belly. A few seconds later the shop door opened, and Cal filled the space.

  I rushed to him and yanked him down by his arm. Thankfully, he let me. I wrapped mine around his neck and climbed his tall, hard, muscular body like a tree trunk. I heard the delicate fabric of my dress tear when I spread my thighs, wrapping them around his thick waist, but didn’t care. I needed all of him against all of me.

  His big hands went to my butt, holding me up, and he cursed, dark eyes flashing with heat, but there was also something else…conflict? “Cassy…”

  I slammed my mouth against his, stopping whatever he was going to say. I didn’t want to hear it, because I knew I wouldn’t like one single word of it. His lips were firm against mine, motionless for a second.

  Please don’t turn me away. I’ll die if you turn me away.

  I held onto him tighter, my desperation for him flowing from me, washing over him. There was no way he could mistake it for anything else. I nipped his lower lip, slid my tongue over it. “Please, Cal. Please, I need you.”

  He cursed again and groaned. His mouth opened and slanted over mine, shoving my tongue back with his, taking over the kiss. His big hands squeezed my ass as he took a step back into the shop and kicked the door shut.

  My butt landed on the counter a moment later, and Cal fisted my hair. The action was rough and possessive in a way I’d craved from him.

  “What do you need from me?” he said. “What is it that you think only I can give you?”

  He was reading me, like everything inside me was being projected on the walls around us, exposing everything, every part of me. My hands moved over his chest and I realized then he wasn’t wearing a shirt. His chest was bare and there was paint streaked across his skin in different places. Some of it had gotten on my torn dress. I loved it.

  Whenever I looked at the ink he’d put on my skin, I felt marked by him. I’d always feel marked by him, and I loved that even more. I’d always be his, whether he wanted me or not, whether I was married to someone else or not. I. Would. Be. His.

  “You,” I whispered. “Touching me. Kissing me. Inside me.” I leaned forward, pressing my face against his chest, nuzzling his hot skin, begging for his touch. I tilted my head back and held his gaze. “I need to feel you moving inside me. I need to know how that feels. I need it…”

  His fingers tightened in my hair and he tilted my head back farther, the finger and thumb of his other hand gently pinching my chin so I couldn’t look away. “I’m not the man you think I am,” he choked out, eyes intense and stormy at the same time.

  “I don’t care.”

  “I think you might,” he said, gaze searching mine.

  I didn’t care who he thought he was, what secrets he was keeping. Nothing would change the way I felt about him or how much I wanted him. I felt tears filling my eyes, panic at the realization that he might turn me away, that he would deny me what could be my only chance to be with him, the only man I’d ever truly wanted.

  I blinked and a hot tear streaked down my face. “Please,” I whispered.

  His growl was vicious, wild, God…tormented. A second later his mouth slammed down on mine and he lifted me off the counter, striding through the shop. Our kiss didn’t break as he took the stairs, shoved his apartment door open, and kicked it shut.

  He stood me on my feet and started walking forward, backing me toward the bed. “I’ve tried to resist you, Princess, do the right thing in my own fucked-up way. I’m not strong enough to turn you away, to say no to you. Not now, not tonight.”

  “I don’t want you to,” I said. The backs of my legs hit the side of the bed.

  “Need you naked, Cassy. Now.”

  Strong, sure hands slid to my back and tugged at the zipper.

  “Want to taste every fucking bare inch of you.”

  The zip gave and he tugged the dress off my shoulders. It slid to the floor, leaving me in only my bra and panties. His hands went to my chest and he cupped me, fingers working my nipples through the thin lace fabric, making me whimper.

  “Off,” he gritted out. “Get this off.”

  I reached back to do as he said, but the sound of fabric tearing came before I had a chance to undo it. My bra fell to the floor with my dress then I was lifted up and Cal lowered me onto the bed. Fingers, rough-skinned and strong, cupped my breast again while his mouth dropped down, sucking one of my painfully hard nipples into his mouth. We both groaned.

  His other hand had found my waist and he tugged at my panties, tearing them down my legs. The skin of his back was smooth and hot, and I slid my hands around his sides and jammed them between us, attacking the front of his jeans. As soon as I got them open, I shoved my hand down his boxers, taking his cock in my hand. God, he was so hard, so hot.

  I dragged my hand up his length, gathered some moisture at the tip, and spread it over the wide head then back down to the root.

  Cal groaned, and his mouth came down on mine in a kiss so hungry and carnal my toes curled and I arched into him, desperate for more, more of everything. His fingers encircled my wrist, forcing me to let go of him, and he lifted both my hands, pinning them above my head.

  “I want to take this slow, play with you, work you up until you can’t take another second.” He shook his head. “But I can’t, not this time. I need inside you now, baby. I need to fuck you deep and hard, until neither of us can think straight.”

  I whimpered again. “Yes.” It was all I could say, all I was capable of saying. He shifted to his side slightly, and one of his hands dropped between my spread thighs, cupping me, middle finger sliding through the center of me. My hips thrust up seeking more.

  “Jesus fucking Christ. So wet, Princess.” His voice was rough, breathless, and his hands shook as he shoved his jeans and boxers down the rest of the way and tossed them aside.

  He covered me again, and the thick length of his cock nestled against my slick flesh, grinding, sliding over my clit, making me gasp.

  “Can’t wait to have this tight little pussy squeezing my cock. You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined what it would be like…to get inside you, baby. No fucking idea.”

  My face was flushed, my limbs trembling, my hunger for the man on top of me more than I knew what to do with. He yanked open the bedside drawer and grabbed a condom. Lifting up a little, I watched him roll it on. God, watching him do that was a serious turn-on. He dropped back down, his heavy thighs shoving mine wider.

  “Gonna fuck you now,” he said in a way that I felt down to my soul, gritty and possessive and dominant.<
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  My legs spread wider all on their own, my hips lifting to meet his.

  “Fuck,” he muttered a second before he shifted his hips, positioned himself, and slammed inside me.

  I cried out at the sensation of being so very, very full, at the small pinch of pain that came from finally having a man push inside me, the only man I ever wanted inside me. My eyes were squeezed shut, and I was sucking in breaths through my nose as my body adjusted, worked at accommodating his size.

  I loved the way he stretched me, filled me, invaded me.

  “Cassy?” he bit out, voice broken, tight.

  I forced my eyes open and his blazed down at me. He knew. I shook my head. “Don’t stop. Please, I don’t want you to stop.”

  He slid out and thrust back in. “I can’t,” he said on a rough growl. “I can’t fucking stop.”

  I tightened my arms around him while he drove into me over and over again. It wasn’t long before any pain I’d experienced completely vanished and I felt my orgasm building.

  My toes curled as it built higher. “Oh God, I’m…I’m going to…”

  Cal’s head lifted and his dark eyes burned down at me as I came apart around him, clawing at his back, begging him to fuck me harder, chanting his name.

  When I went slack, he gathered me in his arms and started fucking me harder, faster, wilder. “What have you done?” he groaned. “Jesus, what the fuck have you done to me?” He shoved his face against the side of my throat, his grunts filling my head as my body lit up again.

  He started coming and I went with him, screaming as he pulsed deep inside me and his roar filled the room.

  Finally, he collapsed on top of me.

  We lay there for a while, no one saying anything.

  Finally, he sat up, removed his condom, wrapped it in a tissue, and tossed it in the trash by the bed. Then he came back to me, half on me and half on his side, face still buried against my throat. I trailed my hand over his wide muscled back, up to his neck, over his cropped hair. I felt the scars there under my fingers. I didn’t want to think about what had brought me here tonight, what my future might look like, or the tight ache behind my ribs when I thought of never seeing Cal again.

  I traced a scar with my finger. “What happened?” I said into the silence.

  His body stiffened, knowing exactly what I was asking him. He more than likely knew I was trying to avoid the big stomping elephant in the room, the fact that I’d been a virgin when I’d walked into his apartment…and now wasn’t.

  He lifted to his elbows. “Cassy—”

  “Don’t. Please.” My hand was at the back of his head. There was more scar tissue there. “How did you get these scars?” I asked.

  “We need to talk about what just happened…about a lot of things…”

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to.” I bit my lips when emotion rushed through me, and I swallowed it back down. “Just tell me about you.” I met his eyes. “Please.”

  He stared at me for what felt like forever, and going by the look in his eyes, he wasn’t happy about my refusal to talk about what had brought me here and why I didn’t tell him I’d never had sex before. But he must have seen something in my eyes as well, because he let out a sharp breath and rolled to his side, taking me with him. He held my leg by the knee, wrapped around his waist. He was pressed against my tender flesh, and I could feel him growing hard and thick again.

  I wriggled my hips and sucked in a breath at the delicious sensations that caused.

  “I was in an accident,” he said, surprising me.

  “An accident?”

  “A car accident,” he said and held my eyes, a weariness to them that made my belly roll. He more than likely expected me to flip out at just the mention of a car accident.

  “It must have been bad.”

  He dipped his chin. “The driver was fucked up, drugs, alcohol…refused to slow down or stop when I told him to. He died and I suffered a traumatic brain injury. Speech has been a…problem…getting words straight in my head. I’m a lot b-better now, but that’s why I…stumble over my words sometimes.” He shook his head, jaw getting tight, color darkening his cheeks. “As I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

  He was embarrassed that he’d just done exactly what he described. I’d never seen Cal blush once and knowing it was because of something he had no control over made my heart ache.

  His accident was so similar to Chris’s.

  I cupped his cheek. “I’m sorry. That must have been so tough.”

  He didn’t answer, just stared at me in that way he had when I first walked into his shop, like he expected me to know the punchline to some secret joke. Something I should know but didn’t.

  His cheeks still looked flushed.

  I hated that he was embarrassed. “To go through what must have been a long and painful recovery,” I said and shook my head. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing.”

  The muscle in his jaw jumped again, and his eyes bore into mine. “I wish that were true,” he said cryptically.

  “Cal—”

  “Why?” he bit out suddenly. “Why me?”

  I knew exactly what he was asking me. Why had I chosen him to sleep with? Why hadn’t I told him I was a virgin?

  “Why?” I squeezed my eyes closed for a second and took a steadying breath. “Because for once…I wanted something for me, that I chose for me, without guilt or regret or fear that I’d let someone down. The day I walked into your shop was the day I made the first step to finally living my own life.” I slid my hand up his bare chest, along his strong stubbled jaw. “I wanted—no, needed something real, and you gave me that. You don’t care where I come from. You don’t want to be with me for what I can give you, and I’m not here because you’re holding something over me.” I pressed a kiss to the edge of his mouth. “You are real, Cal, and you have no idea how much I needed that, how much I needed you. I’ve never wanted another man the way I want you, and there isn’t anyone else I’ve ever wanted to take this step with but you.”

  I’d just bared my soul to him, exposed myself in a way I never thought I would. I’d more than likely said too much, but I wanted him to know. There was something between us, something big and beautiful and important. And Cal felt it, too. I knew he did.

  He was still, silent beside me. “Cal?”

  “Cassy…” The note to his voice made my belly squirm uncomfortably.

  God, that probably sounded like some kind of declaration, that I expected something more from him. I loved Cal, there was no denying that. I’d fallen for him hard, but I’d never expected anything from him in return.

  “Please, I’m not asking for more than this. I just…I wanted to tell you how I felt, that’s all. That I had no reservations about sleeping with you.” I forced a laugh, attempting to lighten the moment. “I’m not expecting hearts and flowers or…or a marriage proposal.”

  And you just keep on digging that hole deeper. Why the hell did you say that?

  I held my breath.

  Suddenly Cal cursed long and low, his hot breath ruffling my hair a second before he rolled me to my back and took my mouth. A short time later he had on a fresh condom and was thrusting into me again, with deep, slow strokes that made me forget what we were talking about.

  So I didn’t think. I let Cal light up my world. I let him take me away from the shitty reality of my life, just for a little while longer.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Cassandra

  Soft yet firm lips pressed against mine, pulling me from sleep.

  I let my lids flutter open to find Cal gazing down at me. I smiled up at him.

  He looked troubled.

  “Hey,” I said, instead of all the other things that instantly filled my head.

  There was something wrong. I’d felt it all night. In between Cal making me scream his name, he held me tight. What he didn’t do was talk. Whenever I tried to question what was going on with him, he distracted me with his mouth, his fingers, or hi
s cock. As distractions went, his tactic worked exceedingly well.

  “Okay?” he asked, voice gentle.

  “I’m fine.” That’s when I noticed he was dressed and not in the bed with me but sitting on the edge. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing.” Guilt flashed through his dark eyes and his throat worked. “I just have to get downstairs. I have a client booked.” He brushed his thumb over my cheek. “Stay here and rest if you like. There’s no hurry, just come down when you’re ready.”

  “Will I…will I see you later?” I didn’t want this to be over, whatever I’d said to Cal last night. I wanted more of this, more time with him.

  My stomach tightened. I thought he might even be worth the risk of throwing my world into chaos over. In fact, I knew he was worth it. I just didn’t know if he felt the same way about me.

  His eyes burned into mine. “I shouldn’t. Jesus, Cassy, I should let you walk out of here and stay the hell away from you, but I’m not sure I can do that.”

  I blinked up at him. “Why? What’s…what’s going on?”

  He stood abruptly and paced to the other side of the room and back, and when he turned to me his gaze moved over me, slow, intense.

  I lifted to my elbows.

  “Christ, you’re beautiful,” he rasped. “Perfect.”

  He said that a lot, and the tone of his voice was strange. “I’m not perfect.”

  “Where you come from”—he shook his head—“we couldn’t be more different. You know that as well as I do…and you don’t know me, not really. I need to tell you—”

  Someone banged on the door. “Cal, you in there?” Dane called through the door.

  Cal cursed. “What?”

  “Your nine o’clock’s here,” Dane said.

  Cal’s hands went to his hips, his eyes aimed at the floor, and I could see his chest was rising and falling rapidly. He didn’t just look troubled anymore, he looked frustrated, worried…angry. Guilty.

  “Cal?” Dane called again.