The Bertrams

by Anthony Trollope

  THE BERTRAMS.

  VOLUME III.

  CHAPTER I.

  SIR LIONEL GOES TO HIS WOOING.

  Yes, they were off. All the joys of that honeymoon shall be left tothe imagination of the reader. Their first conversation, as it tookplace in the carriage which bore them from Mr. Bertram's door, hasbeen given. Those which followed were probably more or less of thesame nature. Sir Henry, no doubt, did strive to give some touch ofromance to the occasion; but in no such attempt would his wife assisthim. To every material proposition that he made, she gave a readyassent; in everything she acceded to his views; she would dine attwo, or at eight, as he pleased; she was ready to stay two weeks, oronly two days in Paris, as best suited him; she would adapt herselfto pictures, or to architecture, or to theatres, or to society, or togoing on and seeing nothing, exactly as he adapted himself. She neverfrowned, or looked black, or had headaches, or couldn't go on, orwouldn't stay still, or turned herself into a Niobean deluge, as someladies, and very nice ladies too, will sometimes do on their travels.But she would not talk of love, or hold his hand, or turn her cheekto his. She had made her bargain, and would keep to it. Of that whichshe had promised him, she would give him full measure; of that whichshe had not promised him--of which she had explained to him thatshe had nothing to give--of that she would make no attempt to giveanything.

  So they spent their Christmas and opened the new year at Nice, andmade an excursion along the Cornice road to Genoa, during which LadyHarcourt learned for the first time that the people of Italy are notso free from cold winds as is generally imagined; and then, earlyin February, they returned to their house in Eaton Square. How shesoon became immersed in society, and he in Parliament and the CountyCourts, we may also leave to the imagination of the reader. In amonth or two from that time, when the rigours of a London May shallhave commenced, we will return to them again. In the meantime, wemust go back to Hadley--the two old Bertrams, and dear Miss Baker.

  The marriage-feast, prepared by Miss Baker for the wedding guests,did not occupy very long; nor was there any great inducement forthose assembled to remain with Mr. Bertram. He and Miss Baker soonfound themselves again alone; and were no sooner alone than thebusiness of life recommenced.

  "It's a very splendid match for her," said Mr. Bertram.

  "Yes, I suppose it is," said Miss Baker. Miss Baker in her heart ofhearts had never quite approved of the marriage.

  "And now, Mary, what do you mean to do?"

  "Oh, I'll see and get these things taken away," said she.

  "Yes, yes; stop a minute; that's of course. But what I mean is,what do you mean to do with yourself? you can't go back and live atLittlebath all alone?"

  If I were to use the word "flabbergasted" as expressing Miss Baker'simmediate state of mind, I should draw down on myself the just angerof the critics, in that I had condescended to the use of slang; butwhat other word will so well express what is meant? She had fullyintended to go back to Littlebath, and had intended to do so at theearliest moment that would be possible. Was not Sir Lionel still atLittlebath? And, moreover, she fully intended to live there. That shewould have some little difficulty in the matter, she had anticipated.Her own income--that which was indefeasibly her own--was very small;by far too small to admit of her permanently keeping on those roomsin Montpellier Terrace. Hitherto their income, her own and Caroline'sput together, had been very comfortable; for Mr. Bertram had annuallypaid to her a sum which of itself would have been sufficient for herown living. But she had not known what difference Caroline's marriagemight make in this allowance. It had been given to herself withoutany specification that it had been so given for any purpose; but yetit had been an understood thing that Caroline was to live with herand be supported. And though Caroline's income had also been used, ithad gone rather in luxurious enjoyments than in necessary expenses;in the keep of a horse, for instance, in a journey to Jerusalem, in anew grand piano, and such like. Now there might naturally be a doubtwhether under altered circumstances this allowance from Mr. Bertramwould remain unaltered.

  But it had never occurred to her that she would be asked to liveat Hadley. That idea did now occur to her, and therefore she stoodbefore her uncle hesitating in her answer, and--may my inability toselect any better word be taken in excuse?--"flabbergasted" in hermind and feelings.

  But her doom followed quickly on her hesitation. "Because," saidMr. Bertram, "there is plenty of room here. There can be no need oftwo houses and two establishments now; you had better send for yourthings and fix yourself here at once."

  "But I couldn't leave the rooms at Littlebath without a quarter'snotice;"--the coward's plea; a long day, my lord, a long day--"thatwas particularly understood when I got them so cheap."

  "There will be no difficulty in reletting them at this time of theyear," growled Mr. Bertram.

  "Oh, no, I suppose not; one would have to pay something, of course.But, dear me! one can hardly leave the place where one has lived solong all of a moment."

  "Why not?" demanded the tyrant.

  "Well, I don't know. I can hardly say why not; but one has so manypeople to see, and so many things to do, and so much to pack up."

  It may be easily conceived that in such an encounter Miss Bakerwould not achieve victory. She had neither spirit for the fight, norpower to use it even had the spirit been there; but she effected acompromise by the very dint of her own weakness. "Yes, certainly,"she said. "As Mr. Bertram thought it best, she would be very happyto live with him at Hadley--most happy, of course; but mightn't shego down and pack up her things, and settle with everybody, and saygood-bye to her friends?" Oh, those friends! that horrible Miss Todd!

  And thus she got a month of grace. She was to go down immediatelyafter Christmas-day, and be up again at Hadley, and fixed therepermanently, before the end of January.

  She wrote to Caroline on the subject, rather plaintively; but owningthat it was of course her duty to stay by her uncle now that he wasso infirm. It would be very dull, of course, she said; but any placewould be dull now that she, Caroline, was gone. And it would be sadgiving up her old friends. She named one or two, and among them SirLionel. "It would be a great pleasure to me," she went on to say, "ifI could be the means of reconciling the two brothers--not but whatSir Henry Harcourt will always be Mr. Bertram's favourite; I amsure of that. I don't think I shall mind leaving Miss Todd, thoughshe does pretend to be so friendly; I was never quite sure she wassincere; and then she does talk so very loud; and, in spite of allshe says, I am not sure she's not looking out for a husband."

  And then she went back to Littlebath, intent on enjoying her shortreprieve. Something might happen; she did not ask herself what.The old gentleman might not last long; but she certainly did notspeculate on his death. Or;--she had a sort of an idea that theremight be an "or," though she never allowed herself to dwell on itas a reality. But on one point she did make up her mind, that ifit should be her destiny to keep house for either of those twogentlemen, she would much rather keep house for Sir Lionel than forhis brother.

  Her absolute money-dealings had always been with Mr. Pritchett; andas she passed through town, Mr. Pritchett came to her and made herthe usual quarterly payment.

  "But, Mr. Pritchett," said she, "I am going to live with Mr. Bertramafter another month or so."

  "Oh, ma'am; yes, ma'am; that will be very proper, ma'am. I alwayssupposed it would be so when Miss Caroline was gone," said Pritchett,in a melancholy tone.

  "But will it be proper for me to have this money now?"

  "Oh, yes, ma'am. It wouldn't be my duty to stop any payments till Iget orders. Mr. Bertram never forgets anything, ma'am. If he'd meantme to stop it, he wouldn't have forgot to say so."

  "Oh, very well, Mr. Pritchett;" and Miss Baker was going away.

  "But, one word, if you please, ma'am. I don't detain you, ma'am, doI?" and you might have guessed by Pritchett's voice that he was quitewilling to let her go if she wished, even though his own death on thespot might be the instant result
.

  "Oh dear, no, Mr. Pritchett," said Miss Baker.

  "We all see how things have gone, ma'am, now;--about Miss Caroline, Imean."

  "Yes, she is Lady Harcourt now."

  "Oh, yes, I know that, ma'am," and Mr. Pritchett here sank to thelowest bathos of misery. "I know she's Lady Harcourt very well. Ididn't mean her ladyship any disrespect."

  "Oh dear, no, of course not, Mr. Pritchett. Who would think such athing of you, who's known her from a baby?"

  "Yes, I have know'd her from a babby, ma'am. That's just it; and I'veknow'd you from amost a babby too, ma'am."

  "That was a very long time ago, Mr. Pritchett."

  "Yes, it is some years now, certainly, Miss Baker. I'm not so youngas I was; I know that." Mr. Pritchett's voice at this juncture wouldhave softened the heart of any stone that had one. "But this is whatit is, ma'am; you're going to live with the old gentleman now."

  "Yes, I believe I am."

  "Well, now; about Mr. George, ma'am."

  "Mr. George!"

  "Yes, Mr. George, Miss Baker. It ain't of course for me to sayanything of what goes on between young ladies and young gentlemen. Idon't know anything about it, and never did; and I don't suppose Inever shall now. But they two was to have been one, and now they'retwo." Mr. Pritchett could not get on any further without pausing forbreath.

  "The match was broken off, you know."

  "It was broke off. I say nothing about that, nor about them who didit. I know nothing, and therefore I say nothing; but this I do say:that it will be very hard--very hard, and very cruel if so that theold gentleman is set against Mr. George because Sir Henry Harcourthas got a handle to his name for himself."

  The conference ended in a promise on Miss Baker's part that she, atleast, would say nothing against Mr. George; but with an assurance,also, that it was impossible for her to say anything in his favour.

  "You may be sure of this, Mr. Pritchett, that my uncle will neverconsult me about his money."

  "He'll never consult any human being, ma'am. He wouldn't consultSolomon if Solomon were to go to Hadley o' purpose. But you mightslip in a word that Mr. George was not in fault; mightn't you,ma'am?"

  Miss Baker reiterated her promise that she would not at any rate sayanything evil of George Bertram.

  "He is such a foolish young man, ma'am; so like a baby about money.It's that's why I feel for him, because he is so foolish."

  And then Miss Baker prosecuted her journey, and reached Littlebath insafety.

  She had not been long there before Sir Lionel had heard all thenews. Miss Baker, without knowing that a process of pumping had beenapplied to her, soon made him understand that for the present SirHarcourt had certainly not been received into the place of heir. Itwas clear that but a very moderate amount of the old gentleman'swealth--he was usually now called the old gentleman by them all; SirLionel, Miss Baker, Mr. Pritchett, and others--had been bestowed onthe rising lawyer; and that, as far as that point was concerned, thegame was still open. But then, if it was open to him, Sir Lionel,through Miss Baker, it was also open to his son George. And itappeared from Miss Baker's testimony that, during the whole periodof these wedding doings, no word had escaped the mouth of the oldgentleman in vituperation or anger against George. Perhaps Georgeafter all might be the best card. Oh, what an excellent card might hebe if he would only consent to guide himself by the commonest rulesof decent prudence! But then, as Mr. Pritchett had truly observed,Mr. George was so foolish! Moreover, Sir Lionel was not blind tothe reflection that the old gentleman would never countenance hismarriage with Miss Baker. Whatever Mr. Bertram's good intentions MissBaker-wards might be, they would undoubtedly be frustrated by sucha marriage. If Sir Lionel decided on Miss Baker, things must be soarranged that the marriage should be postponed till that tedious oldgentleman should move himself off the scene; and the tedious oldgentleman, moreover, must not be allowed to know anything about it.

  But with Miss Todd there need be no secrecy, no drawback, nodelay--no drawback but that of doubtful reception; and afterreception, of doubtful masterdom.

  On thorough review of all the circumstances, much balancing themin his high mind, Sir Lionel at last thus resolved. He would throwhimself, his heart, and his fortune at the feet of Miss Todd. Ifthere accepted, he would struggle with every muscle of the manhoodwhich was yet within him for that supremacy in purse and power whichof law and of right belongs to the man. He thought he knew himself,and that it would not be easy for a woman to get the better of him.But if there rejected--and he could not confess but what there was adoubt--he would immediately fall back upon Miss Baker. Whatever hedid must be done immediately, for in less than a month's time, MissBaker would be out of his reach altogether. As to seeking Miss Bakerat Hadley, that would be above even his courage. All must be donewithin the next month. If on Miss Baker was to fall the honour ofbeing Lady Bertram, she must not only receive him within the month,but, having done so, must also agree to wear her vestal zone yeta little longer, till that troublesome old gentleman should havedeparted.

  Such being his month's work--he had not quite four weeks left when hecame to this resolution--he wisely resolved to commence it at once.

  So on one Monday morning he sallied out to the Paragon about twoo'clock. At that hour he knew Miss Todd would be surely at home; forat half-past one she ate her lunch. In the regularity of her eatingsand her drinkings, Miss Todd might have been taken as an exampleby all the ladies of Littlebath. Sir Lionel's personal appearancehas been already described. Considering his age, he was very wellpreserved. He was still straight; did not fumble much in his walk;and had that decent look of military decorum which, since the days ofCaesar and the duke, has been always held to accompany a hook-nose. Hehad considered much about his toilet; indeed, he did that habitually;but on this occasion he had come to the conclusion that he had bettermake no unusual sacrifice to the Graces. A touch of the curling-ironto his whiskers, or a surtout that should be absolutely fresh fromthe tailor's hands, might have an effect with Miss Baker; but ifany impression was to be made on Miss Todd, it would not be done bycurled whiskers or a new coat. She must be won, if won at all, by theunsophisticated man.

  So the unsophisticated man knocked at the door in the Paragon. Yes;Miss Todd was at home. Up he went, and found not only Miss Todd, butalso with Miss Todd the venerable Mrs. Shortpointz, settling all thedetails for a coming rubber of whist for that evening.

  "Ah, Sir Lionel; how do? Sit down. Very well, my dear,"--Miss Toddcalled everybody my dear, even Sir Lionel himself sometimes; but onthe present occasion she was addressing Mrs. Shortpointz--"I'll bethere at eight; but mind this, I won't sit down with Lady Ruth, noryet with Miss Ruff." So spoke Miss Todd, who, by dint of her suppersand voice, was becoming rather autocratic at Littlebath.

  "You shan't, Miss Todd. Lady Ruth--"

  "Very well; that's all I bargain for. And now here's Sir Lionel; howlucky! Sir Lionel, you can be so civil, and so useful. Do give Mrs.Shortpointz your arm home. Her niece was to call; but there's beensome mistake. And Mrs. Shortpointz does not like walking alone. Come,Sir Lionel."

  Sir Lionel strove against the order; but it was in vain. He had toyield; and walked away with old Mrs. Shortpointz on his arm. Itwas hard, we must acknowledge, that a man of Sir Lionel's age andstanding should be so employed at such a moment, because that flirt,Maria Shortpointz, had gone out to see young Mr. Garded ride by inhis pink coat and spattered boots. He would have let her fall andbreak her leg, only that by doing so he would have prolonged the timeof his own attendance on her. She lived half across Littlebath; andher step, ordinarily slow, was slower then usual now that she wasleaning on a knight's arm. At last she was deposited at home; and thegallant colonel, having scornfully repudiated her offer of cake andsherry, flew back to the Paragon on the wings of love--in a streetcab, for which he had to pay eighteenpence.

  But he was all too late. Miss Todd had gone out in her fly just threeminutes since; and thus a whole day was lost.

  On the
Tuesday, in proper course, he was due at Miss Baker's. But forthis turn, Miss Baker must be neglected. At the same hour he againknocked at the door of the Paragon, and was again admitted, andnow Miss Todd was all alone. She was rarely left so very long, andthe precious moments must be seized at once. Sir Lionel, with thatmilitary genius which was so peculiarly his own, determined to usehis yesterday's defeat in aid of to-day's victory. He would make evenMrs. Shortpointz serviceable.

  When gentlemen past sixty make love to ladies past forty, it maybe supposed that they are not so dilatory in their proceedingsas younger swains and younger maidens. Time is then behind them,not before them; and urges them on to quick decisions. It may bepresumed, moreover, that this pair knew their own minds.

  "How cruel you were to me yesterday!" said Sir Lionel, seatinghimself not very close to her--nor yet very far from her.

  "What! about poor Mrs. Shortpointz? Ha! ha! ha! Poor old lady; shedidn't think so, I am sure. One ought to be of use sometimes, youknow, Sir Lionel."

  "True, true, Miss Todd; quite true. But I was particularlyunfortunate yesterday. I wished that Mrs. Shortpointz washanging--anywhere except on my arm. I did, indeed."

  "Ha! ha! ha! Poor Mrs. Shortpointz! And she was so full of you lastnight. The beau ideal of manly beauty! that was what she called you.She did indeed. Ha! ha! ha!"

  "She was very kind."

  "And then we all quizzed her about you; and Miss Finesse called herLady Bertram. You can't think how funny we old women are when we gettogether. There wasn't a gentleman in the room--except Mr. Fuzzybell;and he never seems to make any difference. But I tell you what, SirLionel; a certain friend of yours didn't seem to like it when wecalled Mrs. Shortpointz Lady Bertram."

  "And were you that friend, Miss Todd?"

  "I! Ha! ha! ha! No; not I, but Miss Baker. And I'll tell you what,Sir Lionel," said Miss Todd, intending to do a kinder act for MissBaker than Miss Baker would have done for her. "And I'll tell youwhat; Miss Baker is the nicest-looking woman of her time of lifein Littlebath. I don't care who the other is. I never saw her lookbetter than she did last night; never." This was good-natured on thepart of Miss Todd; but it sounded in Sir Lionel's ears as though itdid not augur well for his hopes.

  "Yes; she's very nice; very nice indeed. But I know one, Miss Todd,that's much nicer." And Sir Lionel drew his chair a little nearer.

  "What, Mrs. Shortpointz, I suppose. Ha! ha! ha! Well, every man tohis taste."

  "I wonder whether I may speak to you seriously, Miss Todd, for fiveminutes?"

  "Oh laws, yes; why not? But don't tell me any secrets, Sir Lionel;for I shan't keep them."

  "I hope what I may say need not be kept a secret long. You joke withme about Miss Baker; but you cannot really believe that my affectionsare placed there? You must, I think, have guessed by this time--"

  "I am the worst hand in the world at guessing anything."

  "I am not a young man, Miss Todd--"

  "No; and she isn't a young woman. She's fifty. It would all be veryproper in that respect."

  "I'm not thinking of Miss Baker, Miss Todd."

  "Dear! well now, I really thought you were thinking of her. And I'lltell you this, Sir Lionel; if you want a wife to look after you,you couldn't do better than think of her--a nice, good-tempered,cheerful, easy, good-looking woman; with none of the Littlebathnastiness about her;--and a little money too, I've no doubt. Howcould you do better than think of her?" Would it not have softenedMiss Baker's heart towards her friend if she could have heard allthis?

  "Ah; you say this to try me. I know you do."

  "Try you! no; but I want you to try Miss Baker."

  "Well; I am going to make an attempt of that kind, certainly;certainly I am. But it is not with Miss Baker, as I cannot but thinkyou know;" and then he paused to collect his ideas, and take in ata _coup d'oeil_ the weak point to which his attack should be turned.Meanwhile, Miss Todd sat silent. She knew by this time what wascoming; and knew also, that in courtesy the gentleman should beallowed to have his say. Sir Lionel drew his chair again nearer--itwas now very near--and thus began:--

  "Dear Sarah!--" How he had found out that Miss Todd's name was Sarahit might be difficult to say. Her signature was S. Todd; and SirLionel had certainly never heard her called by her Christian name.But facts were with him. She undoubtedly had been christened Sarah.

  "Dear Sarah!--"

  "Ha! ha! ha! Ha! ha! ha!" laughed Miss Todd, with terrible loudness,with a shaking of her sides, throwing herself backwards and forwardsin the corner of her sofa. It was not civil, and so Sir Lionel felt.When you first call your lady-love by her Christian name, you do notlike to have the little liberty made a subject of ridicule--you feelit by far less if the matter be taken up seriously against you as acrime on your part.

  "Ha! ha! ha!" continued Miss Todd, roaring in her laughter louderthan ever; "I don't think, Sir Lionel, I was ever called Sarah beforesince the day I was born; and it does sound so funny. Sarah! Ha! ha!ha!"

  Sir Lionel was struck dumb. What could he say when his littletenderness was met in such a manner?

  "Call me Sally, if you like, Sir Lionel. My brothers and sisters,and uncles and aunts, and all those sort of people, always calledme Sally. But, Sarah! Ha! ha! ha! Suppose you call me Sally, SirLionel."

  Sir Lionel tried, but he could not call her Sally; his lips at thatmoment would not form the sound.

  But the subject had now been introduced. If he should ever be able toclaim her as his own, he might then call her Sarah, or Sally, or useany other term of endearment which the tenderness of the moment mightsuggest. When that day should come, perhaps he might have his ownlittle joke; but, in the meantime, the plunge had been taken, and hecould now swim on.

  "Miss Todd, you now know what my feelings are, and I hope that youwill at any rate not disapprove of them. We have known each otherfor some time, and have, I hope, enjoyed and valued each other'ssociety." Miss Todd here made a little bow, but she said nothing. Shehad a just perception that Sir Lionel should be permitted to have hissay, and that, as matters had become serious, it would be well forher to wait till he had done, and then she might have her say. So shemerely bowed, by way of giving a civil acquiescence in Sir Lionel'slast little suggestion.

  "I have hoped so, dear Miss Todd"--he had taken a moment to consider,and thought that he had better drop the Sarah altogether for thepresent. "In myself, I can safely say that it has been so. With you,I feel that I am happy, and at my ease. Your modes of thought andway of life are all such as I admire and approve,"--Miss Todd againbowed--"and--and--what I mean is, that I think we both live very muchafter the same fashion."

  Miss Todd, who knew everything that went on in Littlebath, and was_au fait_ at every bit of scandal and tittle-tattle in the place,had probably heard more of the fashion of Sir Lionel's life than hewas aware. In places such as Littlebath, ladies such as Miss Todd dohave sources of information which are almost miraculous. But stillshe said nothing. She merely thought that Sir Lionel was a good dealmistaken in the opinion which he had last expressed.

  "I am not a young man," continued Sir Lionel. "My brother, you know,is a very old man, and there are but fifteen years' differencebetween us." This was a mistake of Sir Lionel's; the real differencebeing ten years. "And you, I know, are hardly yet past your youth."

  "I was forty-five last Guy Fawkes' day," said Miss Todd.

  "Then there are fifteen years difference between us." The reader willplease to read "twenty." "Can you look over that difference, and takeme, old as I am, for your companion for life? Shall we not both behappier if we have such a companion? As to money--"

  "Oh, Sir Lionel, don't trouble about that; nor yet about your age.If I wanted to marry, I'd as lief have an old man as a young one;perhaps liefer: and as to money, I've got enough for myself, and Ihave no doubt you have too"--nevertheless, Miss Todd did know of thatheavy over-due bill at the livery stables, and had heard that thevery natty groom who never left Sir Lionel's phaeton for a moment wasa sworn baili
ff; sworn to bring the carriage and horses back to thelivery-stable yard--"but the fact is, I don't want to marry."

  "Do you mean, Miss Todd, that you will prefer to live in solitude forever?"

  "Oh, as for solitude, I'm not much of a Robinson Crusoe, nor yet anAlexander Selkirk. I never found any of its charms. But, Lord blessyou, Sir Lionel, people never leave me in solitude. I'm never alone.My sister Patty has fifteen children. I could have half of them tolive with me if I liked it." This view of the case did throw somecold water on Sir Lionel's ardour.

  "And you are quite resolved on this?" he said, with a dash ofexpiring sentiment in his tone.

  "What! to have Patty's children? No, I find it more convenient to payfor their schooling."

  "But you are quite resolved to--to--to give me no other, no morefavourable answer?"

  "Oh! about marrying. On that subject, Sir Lionel, my mind isaltogether made up. Miss Todd I am, and Miss Todd I mean to remain.To tell the truth plainly, I like to be number one in my own house.Lady Bertram, I am quite sure, will be a fortunate and happy woman;but then, she'll be number two, I take it. Eh, Sir Lionel?"

  Sir Lionel smiled and laughed, and looked at the ground, and thenlooked up again; but he did not deny the imputation. "Well," said he,"I trust we shall still remain friends."

  "Oh, certainly; why not?" replied Miss Todd.

  And so they parted. Sir Lionel took his hat and stick, and went hisway.