Eternity

by Jude Deveraux

  He imagined Carrie handing his father his sandwich and then his father saying that the sandwich was so good that he’d love Carrie forever, then he’d ask her to stay with them for always. Carrie would say yes, and then they’d become a family. And Carrie would make his father laugh as he once did, and everyone would be happy. The only problem that Tem could see was what to do about the dirty dishes that Carrie didn’t want to do, and then, too, there was her cooking that could stand a great deal of improvement. Tem had no idea what to do about those things. In fact, the thought of Carrie’s cooking made the dream a little less rosy.

  The dream lost all its rosiness when Carrie saw the three fields that Josh worked on all day. Tem had seen his Uncle Hiram’s fields and knew that they looked like something out of a storybook, but Tem was proud of his father no matter what he did and had given no thought to the fact that his father’s fields were full of bugs and weeds and that some of the corn was tall and some short.

  After one look at the fields, Carrie started laughing. Tem was already used to the idea that Carrie seemed to find humor in everything, but Josh didn’t seem to understand that. Tem saw his father get very angry when Carrie laughed, and he got angrier when Carrie said that Josh was as bad a farmer as she was a housewife. Considering the way Carrie had left the house and the sight of his father’s cornfield, Tem thought she was telling the truth.

  But his father didn’t seem to see any truth or humor in what Carrie was saying. In fact, the more Carrie laughed, the angrier his father became. He only laughed, when he bit into Carrie’s sandwich and crunched down on a big wad of eggshell. He seemed to think that was very funny.

  Carrie turned around and walked away, Choo-choo barking furiously at Josh, as though he knew that Josh had made his mistress angry, and now Carrie was as angry as his father had been.

  The children stood still for a moment, not knowing whether to stay with their father or go with Carrie, but Josh told the children to go with Carrie. “You seem to like her better than me now, so go with her.” He stomped back into the fields.

  Dallas burst into tears, so Tem picked her up and carried her back to the house.

  Thank heaven that when they got to the house Mrs. Emmerling was there cleaning and cooking. Carrie went to the bedroom and slammed the door, and the children were sure they could hear her crying.

  Tem sat down on the rocking chair in front of the fireplace while Dallas took her new doll and Choo-choo and went outside to play. Mrs. Emmerling bustled about the kitchen, then swept and dusted while Tem sat on the chair and thought. After a while Mrs. Emmerling sat on the opposite rocker and began to sew up some of the holes in Josh’s shirts.

  “You look as though you have a very serious problem,” Mrs. Emmerling said. “Anything I can help you with?”

  Tem didn’t know this woman, but he liked her. She was nice and fat, and her face and hands were red. He shook his head no.

  “Are you sure? I have eight kids of my own so I’m used to listening to problems.”

  “What makes people love each other?” Tem blurted out.

  Mrs. Emmerling sewed for a moment. “Why would you want to know that?”

  Tem blinked rapidly. He didn’t want to cry. He wasn’t going to cry. “Carrie won’t stay unless Papa loves her, and Papa won’t love her because Carrie can’t cook. Could you teach her how to cook?”

  Mrs. Emmerling smiled. “Cooking doesn’t have to do with love. Being a good cook helps make a marriage a more pleasant place, but I doubt if a man ever gave a thought to cooking before he asked a woman to marry him. And if he did, he’s not the type of man a woman would want. She’d want a man who wanted her, not her apple pies.”

  This helped Tem none at all, and his face showed his continued confusion.

  “If your father isn’t in love with a lovely lass like Carrie, then there’s something else wrong. Why don’t you tell me what’s been going on?”

  Tem told her as best he could, but he didn’t really understand it himself. He said that his father had wanted to marry someone who could do farm things, but Carrie had come instead and it had made him angry.

  “Your father wanted someone to help him take care of you kids,” Mrs. Emmerling said softly.

  “Yes,” Tem said brightly. “And Carrie does take care of us. She tells us stories and makes us laugh, and she can fish real good. But—” Tem looked down at his shoe toe.

  “But what?”

  “But she laughed at Papa’s farm fields.”

  Mrs. Emmerling had to hide a smile. So did everyone else in town laugh at Josh’s fields, but they didn’t let him hear their laughter. No one in Eternity had ever seen anyone try harder at farming than Josh with so little success. He so much wanted to make a good home for his children.

  Mrs. Emmerling looked about the house that a day ago had been a disgrace and now was downright pretty. No doubt Josh’s pride had been severely hurt by Carrie. She had come into town and done in a day what Josh had been struggling for months to do—and he had failed at it miserably.

  Personally, Mrs. Emmerling didn’t see any hope for Josh and Carrie’s staying together. It was her experience that men didn’t like women who bested them in anything. She gave Tem a sad look. Everyone in Eternity felt sorry for these poor, motherless children, and every unmarried woman had at one time or another tried to get her hooks into the handsome Josh, but all of them had failed. It was as though he’d developed an aversion to women—or at least to women who wanted to marry him.

  So now, Josh was married to the lively, laughing Miss Carrie, and she was laughing at his fields.

  “You see, Tem,” Mrs. Emmerling began, “when two people marry, they have to think that each other’s the greatest person on earth. They may be very ordinary people in reality, but they have to think that the other one can…well, can move mountains, can make the sun rise and set, that sort of thing.”

  Tem looked at her as though she were daft, not understanding a word she was saying.

  “Your father wants Carrie to think that he’s wonderful, that he’s the best and bravest and finest man on earth. He wants her—”

  “But he is! My father is the best.”

  Mrs. Emmerling smiled. “Yes, he is, but Carrie doesn’t see that. All she sees is that, well, your father isn’t as good a farmer as, say, your Uncle Hiram.”

  “Nobody can farm as good as he can,” Tem muttered. If Uncle Hiram was an example of what a man should be, then he was glad his father was so bad at farming.

  “Exactly. I’m afraid Carrie sees that your father’s not a very good farmer, and your father sees that she sees.”

  “You think Carrie will fall in love with Uncle Hiram?”

  “I doubt that,” Mrs. Emmerling said, chuckling.

  Tem still didn’t understand. “But Carrie didn’t like Papa before she saw his fields. I think Carrie liked Papa at first, but Papa didn’t like her. He said she couldn’t feed us or wash clothes.”

  “But that’s the same thing, isn’t it? Your father doesn’t think that Carrie is the greatest person on earth, just as she doesn’t think that about him. If they don’t start thinking that about each other, they’ll never love each other.”

  Tem was silent for a moment. “What about the dirty dishes?”

  Mrs. Emmerling laughed. “If your father falls in love with Carrie, I think that your father may start washing the dishes himself. And he’ll honestly think that whatever she cooks is delicious.”

  “Even her eggs?” There was absolute disbelief in Tem’s voice.

  “Especially her eggs.” Mrs. Emmerling watched the boy for a while longer, then got up to finish cleaning. For herself, she was glad Carrie didn’t know how to clean, since she and her family needed the money Carrie paid her.

  After a while Tem got up, left the house, and went outside. Dallas was sitting under the shade of a tree at the edge of the woods and jabbering away to her doll. When Choo-choo saw Tem, he left Dallas’s side and ran to him. As Tem sat down on the e
dge of the porch, stroking the little dog, he thought about what Mrs. Emmerling had told him.

  If Carrie left, he was sure that his father would let the roses she’d had planted die. And both he and Dallas would have to spend all day in the fields with their father. Josh didn’t too often make Dallas do things in the fields, but she had to stay within his sight, and she got awfully bored sometimes.

  If Carrie left, everything would go back to the way it was, and right now that looked like a hideous prospect to Tem.

  “What can I do?” Tem whispered to Choo-choo. “How can I make Papa and Carrie think that each other is great?”

  Tem tried. He knew that if he never did anything else in his life, at least he’d tried to show Carrie and his father how great the other one was. But by the time he went to bed, he was past unhappiness.

  Throughout dinner he had pointed out every good quality he could think of about each of them. He told his father how pretty Carrie was. He talked about her trunks full of wonderful things and how, if Carrie stayed, she could bring them into the house for Josh to see. This had made his father say some unpleasant things about Carrie’s brothers who he said spoiled her, which made Carrie say that her brothers were a great deal nicer than Josh was.

  Tem told Carrie about his father’s taking care of them. Tem very much wanted to tell Carrie about the past, but he couldn’t because talking about the past was forbidden. His father had said, “That part of my life is done, and there’s no use speaking of it ever again.”

  Dallas seemed to sense her brother’s frustration, so she said, “Papa gives speeches. He gives good speeches, and the ladies like him.”

  Josh gave his daughter a look that silenced her.

  Carrie, however, showed great interest in what Dallas had said and asked several questions, but Josh wouldn’t answer her or allow the children to answer her.

  Tem sighed and tried again, trying to think of things for the two of them to do together. He suggested they go fishing together, but Josh snorted at that, saying he had to work for a living. Tem suggested that Carrie help his father debug the corn plants.

  “Sorry, but she only does things that Daddy’s money can buy.”

  At that, Dallas had started crying at the tone of voice her father was using. When Josh pulled his daughter into his arms, he said that Carrie had made Dallas cry.

  “Your rudeness, not to mention your intractability, has made her cry.”

  Tem didn’t know that word, but his father seemed to.

  Josh got very angry and opened his mouth to say something to Carrie, but she jumped up from the table and went to the bedroom. “You can clear the table yourself, since it seems to mean so much to you,” she said before slamming the bedroom door.

  Tem and his sister kissed their father goodnight, but he didn’t seem to notice them as he stood in front of the fireplace and stared into it.

  When he came up the ladder to try to sleep in Dallas’s bed, Tem was still awake. He had been thinking a great deal.

  “Papa?”

  “You should be asleep.”

  “Do you think that Carrie is wonderful?”

  “I think that Carrie has never been anything but adored in her life. She’s never had to work; she’s never been denied anything in her life.” Josh turned and knelt by his son’s bed. “I know that you like her. I know that she’s cheerful, and, Lord knows, you children deserve some laughter in your life after what you’ve been through in the last couple of years, but you’re going to have to trust me on this. Carrie is not the mother for you children.”

  Tem sat up on his elbows. “Is she the wife for you? If you didn’t have us, would you marry her?”

  Josh smiled. “I might just be fool enough to do so. But you children have made me wise, much too wise to stay with a butterfly like Carrie. Now, go to sleep. A month after she’s gone, you won’t even remember her.” He kissed his son’s forehead and began to undress.

  But Tem didn’t go to sleep as he lay back on the bed and looked at the attic ceiling. It was his fault that his father and Carrie didn’t love each other. His and Dallas’s fault.

  Chapter Eight

  The next day, Carrie and Josh didn’t find out that Tem was missing until Josh came home from the fields. Since Josh was still smarting under the hurt of Carrie’s laughing at his fields and the desertion of his children, he didn’t return to the house until nearly nine o’clock at night.

  The scene that greeted him upon opening the door should have made him happy, but instead, it made him even more angry than he already was. Dallas was standing on a stool, and Carrie was pinning up the hem of a new dress for her—a dress that Josh could not afford to buy for his daughter. The little house was cheerful and redolent of good smells, and Carrie, his wife who was not his wife, looked lovely. More than anything in the world Josh wanted to shout that he was home and have his wife and child run to his open arms.

  As it was, he walked in quietly and hung his hat on the peg by the door.

  “Papa!” Dallas cried and started to leap down from the stool, but Carrie helped her.

  His warm, clean daughter flew into his arms and snuggled into his neck. This was what made the fields bearable, he thought, this was what made his unhappiness worth something.

  “We have roast beef for dinner and Mrs. Emmerling made cookies and I think my doll’s hair is growing.”

  As Josh stroked his daughter’s hair, he thought that it was good to see her clean again. In the months that he had been running the farm, he hadn’t had time to see to the cleanliness of his children. He had too much to do in trying to feed and clothe them. “Her hair’s growing, is it?” Josh asked, smiling. He hadn’t even been able to give his daughter a doll.

  Standing behind them, Carrie was smiling, and Josh knew he’d never seen a prettier female in his life, with her trim little waist and her blonde hair—and her body that wasn’t his.

  “Good evening,” Josh said stiffly. “I take it the woman you hired has prepared dinner.”

  Carrie turned away, the smile gone. “Yes, she did.” She looked back at Josh. “Where’s Tem?”

  “He’s with you,” Josh said quickly as though she were too dumb to know that she’d had Tem all day.

  Carrie stood there blinking for a moment, then began to turn a bit pale. She went into the bedroom and returned with a note from Tem saying that he was going to spend the day with his father.

  Without a word, Josh reached inside his shirt pocket and withdrew another note from Tem. This one said that Tem was going to spend the day with Carrie.

  “Maybe he wanted to go fishing,” Carrie said, but she didn’t believe that. Without a doubt, she knew that wherever Tem was and whatever he was doing had something to do with her and Josh.

  Josh was across the room in seconds as he grabbed Carrie’s shoulders. “Where is he? Where is my son?” he shouted into her face.

  “I don’t know,” Carrie answered. “I thought he was with you all day.”

  Josh gave her a shake. “Where is he?” he yelled, as though the very loudness of his voice would make her remember something she didn’t know.

  “Don’t hurt Carrie,” Dallas cried, clutching her father’s legs. “Tem will be back. He said he would.”

  Both Carrie and Josh turned to look at her, then Josh dropped to one knee. “Where is your brother?” he asked softly.

  Dallas backed into the safety of Carrie’s skirt. “He made me swear not to tell. He said something bad would happen to me if I told.”

  “Something bad will—” Josh began, but Carrie picked Dallas up and set her on the table.

  “What time was Tem supposed to be back?”

  Dallas looked as though she was going to cry. “He said he’d be home before Papa.”

  Carrie looked over the head of the child to Josh, then back at Dallas. “He’s very late, isn’t he?”

  Josh stepped between the two of them. “Dallas, you have to tell me where Tem went. You have to—” He broke off when Dallas
began to cry.

  Pushing Josh aside, Carrie bent down to Dallas. “But you can’t tell, can you? And not just because Tem said you couldn’t tell. You can’t tell because it’s a point of honor, isn’t it? You know what honor is, don’t you, Dallas?”

  “No,” the child sniffed.

  “Honor is when someone tells you a secret and you’ll die before you tell that secret.”

  “For God’s sake!” Josh said. “That was thunder. I think there may be a storm coming.”

  Carrie put her face close to Dallas’s. “But sometimes honor and helping someone fight each other. Like right now. If you tell, you won’t be honorable, but if you don’t tell, Tem might be in trouble.”

  Dallas nodded and glanced nervously at her father.

  “So,” Carrie said, “let’s see if we can’t find out about Tem and keep your honor too. Suppose you tell me a story, like I tell you a story every night?”

  “For the love of—” Josh said, but was cut off by a flash of lightning followed by a loud clap of thunder.

  Dallas squealed, and Choo-choo hid under the table.

  “Once upon a time there was a young prince who was very unhappy,” Carrie began. “Let’s say that the king and queen were having problems, and the prince wanted to do something about those problems. What do you think the prince would do?”

  “Look for a rattlesnake,” Dallas said firmly.

  Carrie straightened. “What would he do with the rattlesnake?” she asked in barely more than a whisper.

  “He’d put it in your—I mean the queen’s—bed, then when she was afraid, the king could save her and she’d know he was great. Then they’d love each other forever.”

  Slowly, Carrie turned to look at Josh, wondering if she was as pale as he was. Already, she could feel herself beginning to shake.