The Case of Italian Indigestion

by B R Snow

  “That’s her,” Chef Claire said.

  “Yeah, I remember Betty,” Suzy said. “She’s nice.”

  “She is,” Josie said. “The woman who died was the wife of somebody named Emerson Kingsley. He has some sort of manufacturing company on the west coast.”

  “Are the cops looking at him for it?” Suzy said.

  “I’m not sure they’re looking at anybody at the moment,” Chef Claire said. “But he did tell her this afternoon he wanted to take a break.”

  “That’s interesting,” Suzy said.

  Josie and Chef Claire frowned when they heard the familiar crinkle of foil through the phone.

  “You’re eating bite-sized Snickers, aren’t you?” Josie said.

  “Maybe.”

  “Well, since you can’t have any booze, I guess chocolate is a good fallback,” Chef Claire said. “How are you feeling?”

  “Physically, I feel good,” Suzy said. “No morning sickness to speak of. And the doctor says everything is fine. Mentally, I’m getting a little stronger every day.”

  “Just don’t overdo it,” Josie said.

  “Don’t worry. My mom is constantly hovering,” Suzy said. “Who else is at the school?”

  “You’ll never guess,” Josie said, laughing.

  “Give me a hint.”

  “Vegas. Russia. Vodka,” Josie said.

  Chef Claire and Josie waiting out a long silence.

  “Natalie?” Suzy said.

  “Yup,” Josie said.

  “I can’t believe it. What the heck is she doing at cooking school?”

  “She’s here with Georgio,” Chef Claire said.

  “Boyfriend?”

  “TBD,” Chef Claire said. “They’re definitely an odd couple.”

  “Well, we are talking about Natalie,” Suzy said. “Judging by the name, I’m gonna guess he’s Italian.”

  “He is,” Josie said. “And he’s a total womanizer who used to have a thing with the victim. Based on what we heard tonight, it sounds like they were thinking about giving it another shot.”

  “Did the husband know?” Suzy said over another loud crinkle.

  “He definitely had his suspicions,” Chef Claire said.

  “It sounds like a motive to me,” Suzy said.

  “Yeah, we thought the same thing,” Josie said. “But there was nothing wrong with the body. And she was fine all throughout dinner.”

  “Definitely strange,” Suzy said. “What does this guy Georgio do?”

  “That’s where it gets even more interesting,” Chef Claire said. “He’s an inventor.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, he invented a pasta maker you aren’t going to believe,” Chef Claire said. “Georgio gave all the students one today. So, we’ll have two at the house. It’s incredible.”

  “You and your kitchen gadgets,” Suzy said, laughing.

  “I’m not joking,” Chef Claire said, glancing at Josie. “Am I wrong?”

  “No,” Josie said. “It’s amazing.”

  “Do you think the inventor might have rigged the victim’s machine with some sort of poison?” Suzy said.

  Chef Claire and Josie looked at each other before shaking their heads.

  “No, I don’t think it’s possible,” Chef Claire said. “The pasta makers were sitting at different workstations, and we weren’t assigned spots.”

  “I agree,” Josie said. “It was totally random who got what machine.”

  “Maybe he wasn’t targeting the victim,” Suzy said. “Maybe he just wanted to see if whatever it is worked.”

  Chef Claire and Josie stared at each other again as they processed Suzy’s comment.

  “Nah,” Chef Claire said, shaking her head. “Georgio is one of the investors in the place. And he definitely has a vested interest in its success.”

  “Yeah, he wouldn’t do anything that might create bad publicity,” Josie said.

  “Okay. Makes sense,” Suzy said. “The guy invents kitchen gadgets? I guess there’s a ton of ways to make a living, huh?”

  “Apparently, kitchen gadgets aren’t the only thing he invents,” Josie said.

  “What else?” Suzy said.

  “Rumor has it he’s also involved in weapon systems,” Josie said.

  “And also using technology for, shall we say, less than moral purposes,” Chef Claire said.

  “Who did you hear this rumor from?” Suzy said.

  “Bronwyn. The victim,” Josie said.

  “And Rosa also mentioned it,” Chef Claire said.

  “People know this guy is an arms dealer and he’s out walking around?”

  “Yeah,” Josie said. “Our best guess is that he might be working both sides of the street. You know, selling to everybody.”

  “Including the U.S.?”

  “Could be,” Chef Claire said.

  “Maybe nobody has been able to catch him yet,” Suzy said.

  “Who knows?” Josie said. “And I doubt if we’re going to be able to find out. I certainly don’t want to stick my nose into something like that.”

  “I guess we’re different that way,” Suzy said, laughing.

  “Touché,” Josie said, laughing along.

  “I do have one idea,” Suzy said. “It’s a longshot, but it might be worth the effort.”

  “Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?” Josie said to Chef Claire.

  “Yeah, definitely a déjà vu moment,” Chef Claire said, shaking her head. “Okay, Snoopmeister, what have you got?”

  “It would be nice if you could confirm what this guy is up to,” Suzy said.

  “I can live without knowing,” Josie said.

  “No, hang on,” Chef Claire said. “Let’s hear her out.”

  “Thank you, Chef Claire,” Suzy said. “If this guy is doing what you say he is, he must be on the government’s radar.”

  “Sure,” Josie said. “Let’s just call the Feds and ask them. I’m sure they’ll be happy to confirm it.”

  “There’s no need to get snarky,” Suzy said. “And you don’t need the whole government. All you need is one person who works in the right place.”

  “And I suppose you have someone in mind?” Josie said.

  “I do,” Suzy said. “Do you remember Agent Tompkins?”

  “The FBI agent who had the hots for Chef Claire?”

  “I remember him,” Chef Claire said, beaming. “That was back when we were dealing with the dog smuggling operation. The people involved were stealing technology, right?”

  “That’s the one,” Suzy said. “And he was totally smitten with you. The last I heard he’s been promoted. But I think he’s still involved with technology-piracy and espionage.”

  “And you think I should just call him and ask if he knows who Georgio is?” Chef Claire said.

  “Why not?” Suzy said. “It’s just a phone call. And who knows, maybe he’ll ask you out to dinner.”

  “Funny,” Chef Claire said, then glanced at Josie. “I guess it couldn’t hurt, right?”

  “As long as the phone call is as far as it goes,” Josie said. “I don’t want anything to get in the way of cooking school.”

  “I think it’s too late to start worrying about that,” Chef Claire said.

  “Yeah,” Josie said, nodding. “You might be right.”

  “You wouldn’t happen to have his number, would you?” Chef Claire said.

  “I got it right here,” Suzy said. “You got something to write with?”

  Chef Claire jotted down the number then settled back into her chair.

  “How much are you guys missing the dogs?” Suzy said.

  “It was terrible the first few days,” Josie said. “But we’re getting our daily fix now that we’re here.”

  “The owners have a dog?” Suzy said.

  “Four Goldens,” Chef Claire said.

  “Wow. That’s great,” Suzy said.

  “And the detective who was here tonight brought his Newfie with him,” Josie said.


  “He brought his dog to a murder investigation?” Suzy said. “I like this guy already.”

  “He was on his way home from the lake when he got the call,” Josie said. “The dog could be Captain’s twin.”

  “Captain isn’t going to like the fact you’re two-timing him,” Suzy said.

  “Yeah, you should probably keep it to yourself,” Josie said. “Okay, it’s way past our bedtime, and we have class in the morning.”

  “You’re still having class tomorrow?” Suzy said. “After somebody died tonight?”

  “Marco and Rosa discussed it with everyone. We decided to have class and see how it goes,” Chef Claire said. “Before he left, the detective said it looks like she died of natural causes, so nobody thought it was enough of a reason to cancel.”

  “And Marco and Rosa didn’t seem very happy about the prospect of having to refund everyone’s money,” Josie said.

  “No, they certainly didn’t,” Chef Claire said with a frown.

  “Okay, let me know how your chat with Agent Tompkins goes,” Suzy said.

  “Will do,” Chef Claire said. “We’ll give you a call.”

  “And don’t play too hard to get,” Suzy said.

  “You’re really not as funny as you think you are,” Chef Claire said.

  “I think we both know that’s not true,” Suzy deadpanned. “Later.”

  She ended the call, and Josie turned her phone off then arched her back.

  “Do you buy the natural causes explanation?” Chef Claire said.

  “For now, I think I do,” Josie said. “Stuff like that happens.”

  “Sudden death,” Chef Claire said. “Like what happened to Max, right?”

  “Yeah,” Josie said, tearing up. “But she sounded good.”

  “She did,” Chef Claire said, handing Josie a box of tissues. “She’s going to be okay.”

  “I still can’t believe it,” Josie said. “Your husband gets run over by a bus on your honeymoon.”

  “She’s going to be fine, Josie,” Chef Claire said.

  “Yeah, I know. But she’s going to be a single mom.”

  “She is,” Chef Claire said, reaching for a tissue. “But she’ll never be alone.”

  “No, she certainly won’t.”

  Chapter 12

  Stifling a deep yawn, he reached for his coffee and took a long sip. Reacting to its bitterness, he got up to make a fresh pot. Since he was going to be here for at least a couple more hours, he was going to need all the help he could get. After pulling a twelve by twelve – twelve consecutive days of at least twelve hours each – he was finding it increasingly harder to muster and maintain the level of concentration he needed.

  Just as the coffeemaker began gurgling, his phone began playing a familiar song. He smiled and hummed along as he always did when he heard the ringtone; Warren Zevon’s Lawyers, Guns, and Money. The ringtone, downloaded for a buck, had been a recent gag birthday gift from his staff. The song about a young man on the run and begging his father to send lawyers, guns, and money was a funny, yet stark, reminder of what he did for a living. Either the number of people needing one or all of those three was increasing, or the explosion of technology had brought to the surface how many people were out there trying to create chaos. The answer to how many there were really didn’t matter. What did was that there were enough people like him trying to stop them. Somebody had to do it. And he had raised his hand.

  He waited for the chorus to finish then answered.

  “Agent Tompkins,” he said, not even bothering to try hiding his fatigue.

  “Hi, Agent Tompkins.”

  “Who is this?” he said, frowning.

  “It’s Chef Claire.”

  “Chef Claire? From Clay Bay?”

  “The one and only. Josie’s here with me. We have you on speaker.”

  “Wow,” Agent Tompkins said, his mood improving by the second. “It’s so good to hear from you.”

  “Are the bad guys winning?” Chef Claire said, turning coy.

  “Are we on or off the record?” he said, playing along.

  “Uh, on, I guess.”

  “Then no comment. What’s going on?”

  “Suzy gave us your number. I hope you don’t mind us calling.”

  “No, not at all,” Agent Tompkins said. “I was sorry to hear about what happened to her husband. How’s she holding up?”

  “She’s doing better,” Chef Claire said. “Hey, how did you know?”

  “I work for the FBI.”

  “Why doesn’t that make me feel better?” Josie said.

  “Relax, Josie,” he said, laughing. “I called Chief Abrams a couple of weeks ago and asked him to keep an eye out for a guy we think might be smuggling some bad stuff across the border up there.”

  “Define bad stuff,” Josie said.

  “Again, no comment. How can I help you guys?”

  “Well, this is probably going to sound a little strange,” Chef Claire said. “But we were wondering if you’re familiar with a man named Georgio Russo?”

  “Georgio Russo?” Agent Tompkins said, stunned by the question.

  “I’m going to guess from your reaction you know who he is,” Chef Claire said.

  “Yes, I’m very familiar with Inspector Psycho.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Chef Claire said.

  “It’s one of the Bureau’s nicknames for Georgio. Inspector Psycho. The Mad Inventor. General Germ. Take your pick.”

  “So, the rumors about him are true?” Josie said.

  “Hang on,” Agent Tompkins said, getting up to pour himself a cup of fresh coffee. He sat back down and stifled a yawn. “Let’s back up a bit. Why on earth are you asking about Georgio Russo?”

  “Well, we’re sort of spending the week with him,” Chef Claire said.

  “You’re at La Bella Vita?” Agent Tompkins blurted, then kicked himself under the desk.

  He waited out a long silence.

  “How the heck did you know where we are?” Chef Claire whispered.

  “Forget I said anything,” he said.

  “Are you following us, Agent Tompkins?” Josie said, her voice rising.

  “No, of course not,” he said.

  “Then how the heck did you know we were here?” Chef Claire said, pressing the point.

  “Think it through,” he said, shaking his head at his mistake.

  He waited out another long silence.

  “You’re tracking Georgio, aren’t you?” Chef Claire said. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

  “Georgio has been on our radar for a long time,” he said eventually.

  “But if you’re following him and know he’s here at the villa, it must mean you’ve got an undercover agent here as well,” Chef Claire said.

  “I can’t comment on that,” Agent Tompkins said, realizing just how badly he needed to get some sleep. “And I shouldn’t have said anything. That was my mistake.”

  “What has this guy done?” Josie said.

  “He’s done a lot of things,” Agent Tompkins said. “Unfortunately, nobody has been able to catch him doing them.” He shook off his self-anger and forced himself to focus. “Why are you calling asking about Georgio?”

  “Somebody died at the villa tonight,” Chef Claire said. “And based on some of the things we heard about Georgio, we couldn’t help but wonder if he might have somehow been involved.”

  “Who died?” Agent Tompkins said, now all business. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his desk as he waited for the response.

  “A woman by the name of Bronwyn Kingsley,” Josie said.

  “Kingsley’s wife is dead?” he said, staring down at the phone.

  “Oh, you know who they are, too?” Chef Claire said.

  “Nothing gets past you.”

  “Shut it.”

  “How did she die?” Agent Tompkins said.

  “That’s the weird part,” Chef Claire said. “She dropped dead right after dinner tonight.”
/>   “I see,” he said. “But no one else was hurt, right?”

  “You mean like your undercover agent?” Josie said.

  “Let it go, Josie,” he snapped.

  “No, just Bronwyn,” Chef Claire said. “And it looks like the cops are leaning toward natural causes.”

  “I see,” he said. “But I have my doubts.”

  “What sort of stuff does this guy Georgio do?” Chef Claire said.

  “You mean, apart from inventing pasta makers?” he said.

  “You know about the pasta maker?” Chef Claire said. “That was fast.”

  “All it would take is one phone call from his undercover guy,” Josie said.

  “Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” Chef Claire said.

  “Josie, knock it off,” he said. “You’re lucky I can’t reach through the phone.”

  “Oh, enhanced interrogation,” Josie deadpanned. “I’m so glad you have something to fall back on.”

  “Stop,” Chef Claire said, laughing.

  Agent Tompkins took a few seconds to compose himself before continuing.

  “Just do me a favor, okay?”

  “We’ll do our best,” Chef Claire said.

  “Go to class, take in the scenery, and have a lot of good food and wine,” he said. “And that’s it. Stay out of whatever situation plays out.”

  “Are we in any danger?” Chef Claire said.

  “You two? No, not if you stay out of the way. You’d be the last people Georgio would want to hurt. Knowing what we know about him, I’m sure the things he’d like to do with you and Josie fall under a different category.”

  “Got it,” Chef Claire said.

  “How did the Kingsley woman die?”

  “Like I said, nobody knows,” Chef Claire said. “There wasn’t any blood, no visible wounds, no sign of a struggle. Nothing like that at all.”

  “Okay,” Agent Tompkins said. “Look, if there’s nothing else, I need to run.”

  “Thanks for your help,” Chef Claire said. “It was good talking to you.”

  “This call never happened,” he said. “But please promise to stay out of the way if anything else happens, okay?”

  “Will do,” Chef Claire said.

  “And if you ever find yourself in D.C., I’d love to take you to dinner.”

  “And if you’re ever in Clay Bay, I’ll be happy to cook for you,” Chef Claire said.