The Case of Italian Indigestion

by B R Snow

  “But thanks to you, it didn’t,” Rosa said. “How the heck did you figure it out?”

  “We’ve studied at the foot of the master,” Josie said.

  “Yeah,” Chef Claire said. “Some of it was bound to rub off, right? Now, go talk to the Peccatis before they drive off.”

  Rosa glanced at Marco.

  “Should we talk to them right now?”

  “I don’t see why not,” Marco said. “Why don’t you take them to the office and I’ll join you in a few minutes?”

  Rosa nodded then gave Josie a hug and left the veranda with a wave. Chef Claire slid an envelope across the table to Marco.

  “What’s this?” Marco said.

  “Open it.”

  He did and flinched when he saw the check.

  “At the risk of repeating myself, what the heck is this?”

  “A little seed money to make sure the restaurant gets off to a good start,” Chef Claire said.

  “I thought you said you didn’t want to invest.”

  “I don’t,” Chef Claire said. “Pay me back when you can.”

  “I can’t take this, Chef Claire.”

  “Why not? If it weren’t for you and Rosa, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

  “I seriously doubt that,” Marco said, then glanced at the check again. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  “I am. Take the money, Marco. Don’t give it a second thought.”

  “We’ll pay you back as soon as we can.”

  “I know you will, Marco,” Chef Claire said, getting to her feet. “But take all the time you need.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” he whispered. “Thank you, Chef Claire.”

  They hugged for a long time before Chef Claire let go and looked at Josie.

  “Are you ready to hit the road?”

  “Let’s do it,” Josie said, getting up from the table. “Thanks for everything, Marco.”

  “No, thank you, Josie,” he said. “And if there’s ever anything I can do, you let me know.”

  “Actually, there is something you can do for us,” Josie said.

  “What’s that?”

  “Let your Goldens out so we can say goodbye.”

  Chapter 26

  “That was a sweet thing to do,” Josie said, digging through her bag for her phone.

  “What?” Chef Claire said, checking the rearview mirror before glancing over.

  “Loaning them money.”

  “Oh, I’m not sure I’d call it a loan.”

  “What would you call it?”

  “A gift,” Chef Claire said. “Loans are what you get from a bank. Over the years, I’ve learned the hard way. When you loan money to friends or relatives, it’s better to consider it a gift.”

  “I get that,” Josie said, nodding. “It cuts down on the bad feelings if it doesn’t get repaid.”

  “Exactly,” Chef Claire said, passing a slow-moving vehicle. “Lend money to an enemy and thou will gain him. Lend to a friend and thou will lose him.”

  “Who said that?”

  “I think it was Benjamin Franklin,” Chef Claire said.

  “Well, I guess Ben knew what he was talking about,” Josie deadpanned. “He did end up with his face on the hundred.”

  “There you go.”

  “It was still very generous.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’m sure they’ll pay you back at some point.”

  “They’re going to try,” Chef Claire said, staring out at the highway. “And that’s all that matters.”

  Josie located the stored number and set the phone on speaker.

  “Hey, how’s it going?”

  “Hey, Snoopmeister. Did we wake you up?”

  “No, I’ve been up for a while,” Suzy said. “I just finished breakfast and am already thinking about what I’m going to have for lunch. I feel like I’m eating for five.”

  “Enjoy it while you can,” Josie said.

  “What’s happening over there?”

  “Chef Claire worked her magic last night,” Josie said. “And you’ll be pleased to know she was instrumental in the capture of one of the most wanted people on the planet.”

  “I really didn’t do much,” Chef Claire said. “How are you feeling?”

  “I feel great. So far, pregnancy seems to be agreeing with me. You caught the guy red-handed?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Betty must be happy,” Suzy said.

  “She is,” Josie said. “And so is the CIA.”

  “What?”

  “Long story,” Josie said. “A very long story.”

  “A two bottles of wine story?” Suzy said, laughing.

  “At least,” Chef Claire said. “Too bad you won’t be able to drink any of it while we’re telling it to you.”

  “So, what’s the deal?” Suzy said.

  “We’ll tell you all about it when we get home,” Chef Claire said. “For now, let’s just say it was a bizarre situation that fortunately ended well.”

  “Okay,” Suzy said. “When am I going to see your next post?”

  “Probably sometime tonight,” Chef Claire said. “Josie’s going to help me out. You know, give me her perspective on the cooking school as a non-chef.”

  “I am?” Josie said, glancing at Chef Claire.

  “Oh, did I forget to mention it?”

  “What do I need to do?”

  “Just talk,” Chef Claire said. “We’ll record the conversation, and I’ll just type it up later.”

  “I can do that,” Josie said, nodding. “Will there be food?”

  “We can find a quiet restaurant and do it there,” Chef Claire said. “What do you feel like having for lunch?”

  “Actually, I’m a little burned out on Italian food,” Josie said.

  “Unbelievable,” Chef Claire said, laughing.

  “No, I’m serious. I’m in the mood for Chinese. There must some Chinese restaurants in Milan, right?”

  “Well, since several million people live there, I like our chances.”

  “Perfect,” Josie said. “Chinese it is. Something really spicy.”

  “How are the dogs doing?” Chef Claire said.

  “Fantastic,” Suzy said. “You want to say hi?”

  “No, it would only confuse them,” Chef Claire said. “Just give them a hug and a kiss from me.”

  “Will do,” Suzy said. “Where are you guys headed next?”

  “We’re going to spend a few days touring wineries,” Chef Claire said. “I think it’s time we expanded our wine list at the restaurant.”

  “Good call,” Suzy said. “Have you come up with any new dishes?”

  “I’ve got a bunch of ideas,” Chef Claire said. “And you won’t believe the bread I want to start serving.”

  “It’s incredible,” Josie said.

  “I can’t wait,” Suzy said. “Okay, have fun, but be safe. Love you.”

  “Love you too,” Josie said, ending the call.

  She sat back in her seat and stared out the window with a small smile fixed on her face.

  “Dreaming of Kung Pao chicken?”

  “No, I was just thinking about something,” Josie said. “We come all this way and spend our time surrounded by all sorts of amazing food.”

  “It was kind of the point, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it was. But what’s funny is, after all that, the thing you’re most excited about is a loaf of bread.”

  “Bread’s important,” Chef Claire said. “It’s essential to a good life.”

  “One of the staples, right?”

  “Yeah, most definitely. If you’ve got good bread, you’re off to a great start. It’s one of those foundational things we’re always talking about.”

  “Like having enough money to live on?”

  “Yup.”

  “Good health.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Family?”

  “Of course.”

  “And the nurturing and preservation
of close friendships?” Josie said, glancing over. “Like Marco and Rosa?”

  Chef Claire stared out at the highway and a small smile emerged. She nodded as she glanced over at Josie.

  “Yeah, that too.”

  Musings While I Wander

  Italy in October – 4

  Josie and I are sitting, as strange as it might sound, in a Chinese restaurant in Milan. But the food is good and a nice change of pace. After a week and a half of delicious Italian food, we found ourselves craving something different, yet, at the same time, something familiar. This post is the final one dealing with our week at cooking school; a week we will never forget for a host of reasons. And I’ve invited Josie to participate in this post to give her the chance to share her thoughts on the experience from a non-chef perspective. And as soon as she stops shoveling Kung Pao chicken down her gullet, we’ll get started.

  Josie – Funny.

  Chef Claire – So, what was your biggest takeaway from our week at cooking school?

  Josie – Apart from the need to exercise extreme caution when taking selfies?

  Chef Claire – Yeah, apart from that.

  Josie – You mean from a cooking perspective?

  Chef Claire – Well, this is a food blog. So, let’s start from there and see where it goes.

  Josie – Okay, the biggest thing I learned is just how few ingredients are used in most dishes. Marco and Rosa kept emphasizing it’s not the number of ingredients, it’s the quality and freshness that counts.

  Chef Claire – You were paying attention in class. Well done.

  Josie – It was a little hard to miss.

  Chef Claire – What else did you learn?

  Josie – Probably the biggest no-no I learned was not to order a cappuccino after dinner. All the Italians looked at me like I was from another planet.

  Chef Claire – Well, I’m sure you can understand their confusion.

  Josie – Just so we don’t get off track, I’m going to take that as a compliment.

  Chef Claire - You can ask for a cappuccino at the end of a meal, but as you found out, most Italians don’t. Cappuccino is something you usually have in the morning.

  Josie – There are so many rules.

  Chef Claire – Actually, the Italians call them traditions.

  Josie – Tomato, tomahto. But I guess it makes sense. Cappuccino is pretty heavy, especially after a big meal. One of the other things I learned is there are over 350 different types of pasta. It’s a lot more than just spaghetti and lasagna noodles, huh?

  Chef Claire – Indeed. And our new pasta maker handles all of them.

  Josie – Thank you, Georgio. May you rot in hell.

  Chef Claire – Josie’s reference to Georgio isn’t worth going into here, but if you’d like to know more, just keep a close eye on the news the next few weeks. What else?

  Josie – Well, let’s see. Oh, I know. Risotto and pasta are not considered side dishes. They are usually served as standalone items.

  Chef Claire – Yes, they are. While we serve pasta as a side dish all the time, in Italy it can be a bit of a no-no.

  Josie – So, I learned.

  Chef Claire (laughing) – Yes, you did, didn’t you?

  Josie – Rosa didn’t need to smack my hand with a spoon.

  Chef Claire – Don’t mess with mama. Especially after she’s put together a multi-course meal.

  Josie – That was amazing. How often do Italians eat that way?

  Chef Claire – I think the full-form is done on holidays and special family celebrations. I sure wouldn’t want to have to cook like that on a daily basis. Or eat like that for that matter.

  Josie – Lightweight. Let me see if I can remember the order the courses come in. The first is the aperitivo, which is basically the cocktail hour. You know, drinks and a little snack.

  Chef Claire – Close enough.

  Josie – Then comes the antipasto which is similar to what we’re familiar with.

  Chef Claire – It is. Usually served cold. Cheeses, vegetables, cold cuts, some sort of bread. Some or all of the usual suspects.

  Josie – I loved that bruschetta Rosa made. After that comes the first course. What’s it called again?

  Chef Claire – Primir. Or Primi Piatti. Which means first plate. Generally non-meat and where the pasta, risotto, or polenta are served. Or soup. It’s served hot and not as heavy as the second course, but more substantial than the antipasto.

  Josie – The second course is the secondi.

  Chef Claire – Well done. There’s no third course per se, but if there were, it would probably be called the Josie.

  Josie – You’re on fire today. The secondi is usually meat or fish accompanied by the contorno, a side dish of some sort of vegetable or salad, right?

  Chef Claire – Yes. But the contorno is served on a different plate from the secondi. Another lesson you learned the hard way.

  Josie – I was just trying to make some room at the table. It all ends up in the same place, so I don’t see what the big deal was.

  Chef Claire – Let’s call it another of those pesky traditions. After the secondi, comes the insalata, or salad.

  Josie – But if the contorno had a lot of leafy vegetables, this course might be skipped. After that comes a plate of fruit and cheese.

  Chef Claire – Yes, formaggi e frutta. Regional cheeses and in-season fruit whenever possible.

  Josie – Then finally we get to eat dessert. Dolce, right?

  Chef Claire – Our favorite. Followed by coffee and a digestivo.

  Josie – I didn’t like the grappa. But the limoncello was fantastic.

  Chef Claire – Grappa’s not my favorite either. Hey, you did pretty good.

  Josie – Thanks. And thanks again for bringing me along. It was an amazing experience.

  Chef Claire – In more ways than one. Now, we tour some wineries before heading to Naples. The birthplace of pizza.

  Josie – Do you really think your pizza can be improved?

  Chef Claire – Without a doubt. And I’m looking forward to it. Two days working with one of the masters.

  Josie (laughing) – Oh, no, not the briar patch. So, what was your biggest takeaway from cooking school?

  Chef Claire – Actually, I got a lot out of it. But the best thing was learning how to make that bread.

  Josie – You and your damn bread. Of all the great things you make, I still can’t believe a simple loaf of bread is what gets your motor running.

  Chef Claire – You’ll understand it at some point.

  Josie – Maybe. There was one other thing I learned.

  Chef Claire – What’s that?

  Josie – It’s something I’ve suspected for a long time, but last week confirmed it.

  Chef Claire – Do tell.

  Josie – You truly are a world-class chef.

  Chef Claire – Aren’t you sweet.

  Josie – No, I’m serious. You could be cooking in any restaurant anywhere on earth. But you choose to stay in Clay Bay.

  Chef Claire – I’m happy there.

  Josie – Yeah, I get that. But still, don’t you ever wonder what you might be missing out on?

  Chef Claire – I did for a while. But not anymore. In fact, I’m beginning to think a month is too long to be away. I miss the dogs.

  Josie – Me too. But they’re in good hands.

  Chef Claire – I know. And don’t get me wrong, as much as I love your company, it’s just not the same without having Al and Dente around.

  Josie – Maybe I can help.

  Chef Claire – How are you going to do that?

  Josie – Woof.

  Chef Claire (laughing) – Not bad. Can you do a Newfie?

  Josie – Only in Italian.

 

 

 
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