Defiant Heart

by Jeanie P Johnson

  He realized that Eleanor was rather inebriated and wasn’t quite aware of what was going on anyway, which made it all the better, he thought. That way she would not put up a fight. As he felt Eleanor responding to his every touch, he did feel a slight twinge of guilt, but he managed to tamp it down with the thought that she was really not the Lady she pretended to be, even though she was raised as one. After all the merchant marine was willing to take her sight unseen, and he wouldn’t discover she was not a virgin, until after he married her, and then it would be too late. Poor, Eleanor, he thought. Such a pity to be born into such circumstances. How misfortunate for her. He now understood completely why her uncle was casting her to a merchant marine. No one else in their right mine would actually take her.

  But for now, he planned to take her in another way, and he began to prepare her for what would come in the end. In her semi-slumbering state, she was rising to his touch, so eager to learn the secrets of love and pleasure. Well pleasure anyway, he thought absently, as his lips roved over her skin and his hand began to introduce her to what was before her, causing his own excitement to grow at the sound of her breath quickening, and her small murmurs as he began to introduce her to new pleasure. She wanted this as much as he did, he told himself with satisfaction. After all, she was allowing him to touch her in any way he pleased. Only when he finally took her, she cried out, and tried to push him away, but it was too late. He had passed the point of no return. Percy muffled her cries with his mouth, and continued to bring on his own pleasure. Eventually, she stopped struggling against him. When it was over, she was quiet again. He realized she had passed out from having too much wine.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “What happened?” Teddy asked, when Sir Percy, brought Eleanor to the door, wrapped in his coat, which concealed the damp dress she had put back on.

  She hadn’t actually recalled putting her dress back on, but with all the wine she had been drinking, the whole incident seemed rather fuzzy. She was starting to feel concerned, because Sir Percy seemed a little nervous now. It all seemed such a blur to her, though. She vaguely recalled telling him she was a virgin, and later crying out, which seemed odd, because it had started out feeling pleasant enough. Only once he had her pinned beneath him, there was little she could do to stop him from continuing with what he had started, and to tell the truth, she couldn’t quite recall what it was he had started. When it was over, she wasn’t even aware of it. She only remembered him shaking her, and suggesting she get dressed. The rain had let up, but there was no way they could go out to dinner now, since she was soaked, so he might as well take her home, he told her.

  There had been a certain amount of giggling as he tried to assist her in putting her clothes on, and she wondered why she had removed all her clothes in the first place? The last she remembered, she had been wearing her under things and petty-coat.

  Percy had not held her or whispered words of love, as she had dreamed he would do. They barely talked at all on the way back, and since there was really nothing to say, she just huddled next to him in his coat, falling in and out of drowsiness. Only she was certain he had offered for her, and that was all that really mattered.

  “We got caught in the storm,” Eleanor explained, her words sounding a little slurred. “And Percy was kind enough to lend me his coat, and have me drink some wine to warm me up.”

  “I can see you must have had a good share of that wine,” Teddy scoffed, eying Percy.

  Percy shrugged. “Sorry about all this,” he said quietly. “We found a barn and waited out the storm, but your cousin is now home, safe and sound,” he said to Teddy, but did not meet his eyes.

  “As long as she is truly safe and sound,” Teddy murmured, noting that Eleanor’s hair was hanging about her shoulders.

  “Yes, Teddy. I am quite all right,” Eleanor insisted, pulling free of Percy’s grasp, and twirling in a circle, landing into Teddy’s arms. “I am freezing though, so I will just go up and take a bath. Thank you so much for calling on me.” She turned to Percy. “Will you be by to speak to my uncle soon?”

  “Yes. In another week. I hope you do not come down with anything over this,” he told her.

  “I am sure I will be fine,” she assured him, as she clutched Teddy’s arm. “Will I be seeing you soon?”

  “I will let you rest for a couple of days. I fear this may have taken too much out of you,” he said, but he did not meet her eyes either. He was already feeling guilty, and there was something else that bothered him. He hated parting with her. In spite of his own motives, he wanted to be with her again, in fact, as often as possible. Only he was beginning to feel the cad.

  “Then in a couple of days,” she whispered, and started to head up the stairs, still clutching his coat around her. Only her feet didn’t seem to be working right, and she felt Teddy’s strong arms steadying her.

  “I’ll help you upstairs,” he murmured. “You are lucky my father isn’t here to see you in this condition. I’ve never seen you act like this before.”

  Eleanor smiled up at him, and tilted her head. “That’s because I have never felt like this before, Teddy. I had a wonderful time, rain and all. Even if I did drink too much wine.”

  “I’ll ring for a maid to run you a tub,” Teddy told her, “and then I want to hear about the whole thing.” Then he left her at her bedroom door.

  Eleanor lay in the warmth of the tub, thinking about all that had transpired that day. She could not believe that Percy was willing to marry her, in spite of the fact that she had no money or a true name. He wanted her in spite of it all, and now she would not have to marry the merchant marine. But she would wait until Percy talked to Uncle Hector, before she said anything to her uncle about it. She was saved, she thought. She had worried about nothing.

  Although she did not know Percy all that well, he was very good looking, and the way he had touched her and made her feel…she paused… until… she was trying to remember the rest. Her head was just starting to clear up a bit, and she could recall him touching her in such a special way, but then things seemed to blur into each other. There was something about him wanting to make sure they suited, once they became married. Yes, that was it, and then he…her eyes widened a bit, as she vaguely recalled him removing his clothes and….what ever he had done, it had almost felt brutal, but what did she know about those things? She had fallen asleep in the middle of it, and since he had been attentive up until that moment, she would rather not try and remember anything beyond that point.

  She couldn’t help feeling though, that she should have held him off until he had at least offered for her officially and Uncle Hector knew of his true intentions, but the wine seemed to keep her from being firm. Why should she feel guilty though, it had been Uncle Hector who had insisted she discover if he was interested in offering for her, so he certainly could not complain, since he had only given her three weeks to find someone to take the place of the merchant marine.

  There had been so many questions she should have asked Percy, but at the time, all she could think about was how he had been kissing her, and touching her, and the fact that he wanted her in spite of everything. There would be plenty of time to learn more about him, she decided. In a couple of days he would come calling again, and then she would insist he tell her more about himself.

  Eleanor wrapped her soft wrapper around her, and tied the sash, leaving the bathroom and entering her own room. She sat down at her dressing table and stared at herself in the mirror. She did not look any different, but she certainly felt different, she thought. What ever Percy had done had changed her in some way, and she was trying to recall just what made her think that. Her thoughts were interrupted by a tap on the door, and when she answered it, Teddy was standing there, grinning down at her.

  “Apparently things went well,” he said. “Do you feel like telling me about it?” he asked.

  “I should get dressed,” she said, but he had already come in and closed the door.

  “You are wa
y too tipsy and probably tired. You look tired. You should rest, after I leave. No use having to get dressed. Just tell me what happened. Other than you getting caught in the storm.”

  “He offered for me, Teddy. I told him about not having any money or a name, and he still wanted me.”

  “Then why did he look so worried?” Teddy asked. “Most men who offer for a woman, and are accepted, look overjoyed”

  “He was worried about me,” she said hastily. “He was afraid I would get a chill and come down with something. That is why he insisted I drink more wine, and wants me to rest for a couple of days before he called again.”

  “If you say so. You seem sort of quiet, though.” Teddy looked close into her eyes. “I wish you hadn’t had so much wine. I think you are hiding something.”

  “If I am, I haven’t the foggiest of what it could be. I am just a little stunned, is all. I mean, I thought he would have to get to know me first before I could break the news to him, about my background, but he was very anxious for me to accept his offer, and I could not do it, if he did not know about me first.”

  “Then there should be no problem,” Teddy said quietly. “He did not try to…well I noticed your hair was down, and… you are rather tipsy.”

  “It got wet,” Eleanor said hastily. “I took the pins out so it could dry faster.”

  “And what did you do while you waited out the storm?” Teddy questioned.

  “We got to know each other better,” she said quietly. “He is very eager to know everything about me, you know.”

  “I can well imagine,” Teddy said gruffly. “He just seemed rather nervous, when he brought you back.

  “As he should be. After all, he had just offered for me. Our lives are going to change from this day forth. It would make anyone nervous. He will have to inform his parents, and then approach Uncle Hector, and I don’t know what Uncle Hector is going to do about the merchant marine. I hope he does not create problems for Uncle Hector, since Uncle Hector had promised me to him first.”

  “I’m sure Papa can sort all of that out,” Teddy assured her.

  “Oh, Teddy, don’t tell Uncle Hector anything until Percy gets a chance to talk to him first. It wouldn’t be right, you know.”

  “No, I won’t mention it. I just hope you do not regret this. Neither of us know Percy very well.”

  “He seems perfectly charming,” Eleanor said. “I like him. Besides, it was you who had the idea that he should offer for me.”

  “Then I guess that is all that matters, and anything that transpires could be placed at my door. He does come from a respectable family, after all,” Teddy mumbled, feeling sad that it was not him marrying Eleanor instead.

  “We shall get along famously. We already have discovered we have things in common, and he wants to take me riding. I am looking forward to it.”

  “Well then, I suppose there is nothing to complain about. I will leave you to rest then. I will tell cook to make something that can be sent up to you.”

  “Thank you Teddy. You are so kind. If you had not gone and talked to Percy, I would be having to look forward to marrying that merchant marine. I don’t know how to ever thank you.”

  “I was glad to do it,” Teddy told her, when in truth he wished he had not had to do it, but better her marrying Sir Percy than a merchant marine, he decided.

  Teddy went out and closed the door, and Eleanor put on her night dress, and turned down her covers. She wanted time to think over everything. Teddy was right. Percy did seem nervous, but maybe he felt nervous because he had persuaded her to let him touch her so intimately, and he was feeling guilty about it. Next time, she thought, it would be better, because then she would not drink so much wine, and would be able to remember how it all felt. For now, she would just fill her head with thoughts of the way he had kissed her, and touched her. He hadn’t mentioned that he loved her, but he had continued to tell her how beautiful she was and how much he wanted her, so maybe that was his way of telling her that he loved her. She had not told him she loved him either. Perhaps love came later, she thought. She certainly was attracted to him, and that was almost like love, she decided.

  The maid tapped on her door, and then came in with her tray, and Eleanor sat at her dressing table nibbling on the food Jane had left for her. But she was too excited to eat, and finally she crawled under the covers and tried to rest.

  ********************

  From the looks of the bright morning sky, it was hard to imagine that it had been so stormy the day before. Eleanor rose in a happy mood. Her head was filled with all the plans that would have to be made once Percy spoke to her uncle. She did not know how she would be able to wait for two more days before seeing him again. She timidly thought of how he had looked, after he had removed his clothes, and the way his muscles rippled over his body in such an enticing way. She wondered if he would expect her to always be as intimate with him when they were alone. Deep down inside, she hoped he would, because she loved the way he had brought her alive with his caressing touch.

  Eleanor sat bolt upright in bed. Suddenly things were coming back to her. Things she didn’t think she should even be thinking about, let alone actually remembering they had happened to her. She had allowed him more than just touching her intimately. She had let him… The thought frightened her. She was no longer a virgin!

  She tried to calm herself. He was going to marry her. No one need ever know. It was expected he should want to get pleasure from her, in the same way he had been giving her pleasure, she reasoned. The brief thought made her shiver all over again. Maybe he would miss her and come sooner than a couple of days, she hoped. She needed to talk to him about what happened in the barn, to make sure she was remembering it right. She got up and rang for her maid to help her dress.

  The maid had just left when Nelly came to her door. She put her head in and then pushed the door open. “I heard about your outing with Sir Percy,” she said as she came into the room. “I am so anxious to discover what happened.”

  “We had a picnic, but it was ruined by the storm, so we had to take shelter in a very leaky barn. We were in an open carriage, which meant we had to wait in the barn until the rain let up. It gave us an opportunity to get to know each other better, though.” She thought how much they had learned to know each other better and tried to keep from blushing.

  “And that is all?” Nelly sounded a little disappointed.

  “He will come calling in another two days. He is giving me a chance to rest up, incase I got a chill from getting caught in the rain.” She glanced over to his coat that she had thrown over a chair. “I will have to remember to give him his coat back when he comes. Maybe I should have someone clean it for him first,” she said a little idly.

  “It all sounds so romantic. Him giving you his coat to keep you warm,” Nelly awed.

  “Yes, it was rather romantic. I will let you know what happens when he calls again.”

  “Oh, do, I can’t wait to hear. Are you coming down to eat?”

  “Yes, I will be there as soon as I take his coat to the laundry,” Eleanor said, and Nelly left the room, while Eleanor went to where his coat was resting over the back of the chair. She had better remove everything from the pockets, she thought, as she lifted the coat from the back of the chair, and she put her hand into the inner breast pocket. Her hand felt his wallet and she drew it out in surprise. He could not go two days without his wallet, she thought. Maybe she could use it as an excuse to see him sooner, she thought with a gleeful smile. Then she could get everything straight about the incident in the barn. She checked the other pockets as well. A handkerchief, some ticket stubs, a pair of gloves, and an envelope, was discovered. She laid them all out on her dressing table, then put the coat over her arm and left the room.

  *********************

  “I feel like a cad, Dutton,” Percy lamented with a scowl on his face. “It all started out as a delightful game. I could dally with the most sought after woman in this area, and play her
heart strings. Once I had my fill of her, I would take on the responsibility of my debts and marry Glenda, but something changed the moment I took her into my arms. She has no money, no name, but her sweetness and trust is starting to turn my heart inside out. I was just going to entertain myself. After all, there is a merchant marine who has agreed to marry her, but now if she goes to him, she is no longer a virgin, and he may be a cruel man who would punish her for that little discrepancy. There is only one thing to do.” Percy paused, without saying what that one thing happened to be, and took in his breath. Then he strode across the floor and looked at himself in the mirror. “I even hate looking at myself,” he said under his breath.

  “So what do you propose?” Dutton asked idly. None of this really interested him, considering all the trouble Eleanor had caused him.

  “I am going to break it off with Glenda, since nothing is official yet, and then beg my Uncle Milton to advance me my inheritance, so I can marry Eleanor, or at least give me enough to pay off my debts and have something to live on until he dies and leaves me the estate,” Percy said all in one long breath.

  “Do you think that is wise? You would give up Glenda’s wealth in order to marry that little nobody. Wait until the ton hears about her,” he said slyly.

  Percy turned, and grabbed Dutton by the lapels of his coat. “I am warning you, Dutton. You do not breath a word of this about her or me. I have already done her a misdeed and will not have my future wife smeared. Do you understand?” He gave Dutton a shake, before Dutton managed to shrug out of his hold.

  “Mercy, Percy, I have never seen you like this before. What has come over you, man?”

  “Maybe you could call it love.” he said quietly.

  “Or total loss of your scruples,” Dutton accused. “Is the girl really worth it? I know she is beautiful, but in the dark, all women feel the same.”