Defiant Heart

by Jeanie P Johnson

  Eleanor paused, and then smiled. “Why not?” she said. “Let’s just go ahead upstairs, and I will tell Hobbs to send Dutton up, when he comes.”

  “A good idea,” Garth smiled.

  After talking to Hobbs, Eleanor led the way up the stairs, with Garth close behind. She passed by the room where she and Bernard had been shut in, because she had already seen that room. When she came to the next door, she stepped back and allowed Garth to open it for her.

  “I am sure all these rooms must have been used for the extra help, when the owners had special entertainment going on in the house,” she said idly, as they entered yet another sparse looking room. “But since no one has entertained for a very long time, no one ever bothers to go up here any longer,” she reasoned.

  “You are probably right,” Garth agreed. “By the looks of the room it could only be meant for servants. Even the bed looks uncomfortable,” he pointed out, sitting down on the bed and raising a little cloud of dust, as he did so.

  “Don’t spoil your clothes,” Eleanor said, as she pulled him back up of the bed, and started dusting him off with her hand.

  Garth smiled at her concern, and took the hand that had been patting him down, bringing it to his lips and lingering a kiss on it, until Eleanor shyly tried to pull it away.

  “You have such dainty hands, and it feels so pleasant when you touch me with them,” Garth breathed, as he held tight to her hand. “Surely, you care a little bit about me,” he insisted.

  “Of course I care about you,” Eleanor answered. “You are a true friend.”

  “I liked the way you were kissing me, that night you stayed with me,” Garth continued. “You were so happy, and attentive. Why must you always be so guarded? The way you were being so relaxed with me that night, after having a little wine, tells me that you really are fond of me, but are afraid to show it.”

  “I am too confused to think about showing affection to anyone,” Eleanor insisted. “Too much has happened. Bernard will be returning soon…”

  Garth suddenly took Eleanor’s other hand in his, and pulled her to face him. “Bernard is not the person for you, Eleanor. There is something about him that makes me suspicious. His story doesn’t seem to be…well believable. You are just eager to believe him because he looks so much like Sebastian.”

  “It is true that when I look at him, I can’t help but think of Sebastian,” Eleanor admitted.

  “Don’t let him persuade you to do anything, until you are absolutely sure his story is true. Don’t just take his word for it. Promise me.”

  Eleanor looked down at Garth’s hands holding hers. She knew that Garth was truly concerned for her welfare. He had always been there to help her, as a true friend would. Being a lawyer he was always concerned about the legality of things, as well. He was the one who helped her get the marriage certificate, and the thought bothered her, because she had to lie about being married to Sebastian, and forge a document in order to get his wealth, and she did not feel comfortable about it still. That was probably why Garth did not trust Bernard, she reasoned.

  “I really wish we had not signed that certificate,” Eleanor said, as she looked up into Garth’s eyes. “It seemed so dishonest. Even if Sebastian is dead. It is like I am cheating him in some way. He had no intentions of coming back and marrying me.”

  “So why did Bernard tell you he did?” Garth asked.

  “I don’t know. I feel so confused,” Eleanor admitted.

  “Just trust me, Eleanor,” Garth begged. “You know I want the best for you. You don’t need anything that Sebastian could leave you, even if he intended you to have it. All of this is keeping the wound open, and Bernard being around will always remind you…” Eleanor started to pull away, but Garth held her hands tighter, pulling her to him. “I want to help you, Eleanor,” he insisted, as he brought his arms down around her waist and held her against him. “Just let me help you.”

  “What can you do?” Eleanor asked.

  “You are too close to all of this. I see everything from the outside looking in, and some things just don’t add up.” Garth bent his head, as he looked down into her eyes. “You know how I feel about you. And I don’t want to see you get hurt any more than you already are. You know I would never hurt you, don’t you, Eleanor?”

  “Of course you wouldn’t,” she replied, lifting her head up to gaze back into his eyes.

  “Then try and trust me. Let me help you. Let me be there for you. Let me love you the way I keep dreaming of doing.”

  Eleanor stiffened. “You are the one who is going to get hurt if you try and love me,” she said. “I told you…”

  “Shhh. Don’t say anything, Eleanor. I know how you kissed me the night you stayed with me. You want someone to love you, but you are just afraid to let go again. Bernard will only bring back memories of Sebastian for you to struggle with, but if you let me…”

  “Don’t,” Eleanor whispered. “Don’t keep holding out hope.”

  “Why not? You cannot keep your heart guarded forever.”

  “You know I am not ready for anything like that,” Eleanor insisted.

  “I know. I don’t expect you to just fall into my arms. I just want you to think about it. Don’t let Bernard influence you too much. You need to make him show you documents to prove that Sebastian has left everything to you. You also need to see Sebastian’s death certificate, so you will know what Bernard tells you is true.” Garth paused, as he looked into her eyes. “Let me kiss you,” he whispered. “I just want to know how it feels when you know you are kissing me,” he begged.

  “I just don’t want to give you any false hope,” she responded, but she could not pull her eyes away from his, and she wondered why? Maybe it was because she did trust him. She trusted him more than she had trusted any other man so far.

  “Don’t worry about what I hope,” Garth whispered. “It is what I want to feel at the moment that is important to me. I want to feel your lips on mine, but I don’t want you to get angry at me.”

  “The kiss won’t mean anything,” she told him. “I mean anything more than just friendship.”

  “Then I will take that, if it is all you can give,” he smiled, as he lowered his head closer to hers.

  Eleanor did not answer, because Garth had put his mouth over hers, and was crushing her even closer to him as he did so.

  In the middle of Garth’s kiss, Eleanor pulled away breathless, because Garth had prolonged and deepened the kiss, once their lips met, and she did not believe he intended to end the kiss.

  “That is not a mere friendly kiss,” she sputtered.

  “I didn’t intend it to be,” he admitted. “I have tried to be patient, Eleanor. You don’t know how hard it is for me.”

  “Perhaps if it is so hard, we should not be doing this,” she pointed out.

  “No. Now that I have tasted your lips this way, I cannot be satisfied with just one kiss,” he informed her, as he started to capture her lips again.

  “Garth, please!” Eleanor cried, as she started to back away.

  “But I want you so much, Eleanor. You don’t know how much I want you.”

  “If this is an example of it, I think I do,” she half laughed, to keep things light.

  “Just give me a chance, Eleanor. Promise me you will consider me, if things look bad after confronting Bernard.”

  “I can’t promise you anything,” Eleanor told him. “I can’t even promise Bernard anything. I told you Sebastian is the only person I have ever truly loved, and I don’t know if my heart is capable of loving anyone else.”

  “I know you need time, but just don’t turn me away all together.”

  “You know you will always be my friend,” Eleanor promised. “Please let that be enough for now.”

  “I’m sorry if I took advantage of you,” Garth said, bowing his head. “I hope you haven’t lost trust in me.”

  “Of course I haven’t. If I loved you, the way you seem to think you love me, I would probably feel
the same way. At least you are being honest with me, and so far not many men have been honest with me.”

  “You know you can always count on me,” Garth promised.

  “Yes, I know,” Eleanor responded. “But I think we should leave now. Let’s wait until Dutton shows up.”

  “If you insist,” Garth concedes, as he opened the door, and follows her out and back downstairs.

  After about an hour, with no sign of Dutton showing up, Garth finally left, and Eleanor couldn’t help but think about how Garth seemed to want her so much. It was hard to turn him away, because she liked him so much as a friend. She did not want to ruin their friendship completely, she thought.

  Eleanor was surprised the next morning when Dutton appeared at the door. “I hope I am not too early,” he said, as the butler showed him into the sitting room.

  “Strange,” Eleanor said. “Garth came yesterday and insisted it was the day we planned to explore the upper story, and now you show up on the day I thought it was planned in the first place.”

  “So you have already looked at it?” Dutton asked, his features falling in disappointment.

  “No, not really. We started to, but then I suggested we wait for you, and since you never showed up, Garth finally left.” Eleanor was beginning to believe that Garth came a day early on purpose, considering what had transpired when they did go up to the top floor.

  “Then why don’t we finish the job?” Dutton asked.

  Eleanor laughed. “So far, two men have gone with me, and I have only gotten to see two rooms. Maybe with you, we will get to view the whole floor,” she predicted.

  “Of course,” he promised. “I will happily go to every room with you, and even repeat it, if you wish.”

  Eleanor laughed again. “I am sure you would,” she said. “Come along then.”

  The two walked along together, and opened each room as they came to it. Eleanor came to the conclusion that she had been right. The upper floor was just a lot of small rooms, set up for extra servant quarters, except for the Attic, which was full of all sorts of things that Eleanor decided would take a long time to investigate, so she decided to leave it for another day.

  “You see?” Dutton smiled. “We got to see every room.”

  “So we did,” Eleanor laughed.

  Dutton had been courteous and not overly forward with her, so she assumed that he had turned over a new leaf. Perhaps he was a half way decent fellow after all, she was thinking.

  “So when is Bernard supposed to return?” Dutton asked, as they walked together down the hall, heading for the stairs again.

  “Actually, I don’t know. I thought I would hear from him by now, but the maid lost the letter that came from America, so I have no idea.”

  “You should dismiss her,” Dutton advised.

  “I am sure she didn’t do it on purpose. The letter may still show up.”

  “I saw one of Sebastian’s ships at the harbor the other day,” Dutton informed her.

  Eleanor turned and stared at him. “The Annie Bell?” she asked anxiously.

  “No. It was another one. I went down and talked to the captain. He told me they were returning back to America as soon as they left port. Something about some changes going on concerning the fleet.”

  “Did they know that Sebastian was dead?” Eleanor asked.

  “I didn’t ask him. I assumed he knew though. He said all the ships were being called back as soon as they finished their run.”

  “Bernard must be calling them back to inform then that the business is going to change hands, now that Sebastian has died,” Eleanor reasoned.

  “Only problem is, they were not flying the flag at half mast. When someone dies, that is usually what they do. Especially if it is someone important, the way Sebastian was to the fleet, since he owned it. I didn’t think to ask them about it. Maybe they don’t know,” he shrugged.

  “It must be hard to get those kind of messages to them,” Eleanor assumed.

  “Actually, ships are passing each other all the time, because they follow the same water routs. That way they can exchange letters, and keep abreast of what is happing along the way. If something like Sebastian’s death was not passed on by now, there are a lot of incompetent sailors out there. If you have already gotten a letter from America, since Bernard left, then any news of Sebastian’s death, would have been passed on a long time ago. After all, Bernard came to tell you about it himself, two months ago, and it seems a letter from America has arrived, since then, so it is not like it just happened yesterday. It has been several months, since his death, I am sure. That is plenty of time to spread the word, especially to his company. They would be the first to know. After all, he is the one who pays them. And the captain acted pretty cheerful. You would think he would be wearing an arm band or something to show his remorse.”

  “It does sound strange, but Bernard would know. After all he is the one who told me everything was left to me. Is the ship still in port?”

  “No, it left yesterday,” Dutton informed her.

  “I wish I could find that letter,” Eleanor sighed.

  “Well, I am sure it will turn up. I have really enjoyed being with you today,” he said, changing the subject. “It would be nice if we could do more together in the future.”

  “I am sure there will be times that we will see each other,” Eleanor assured him. “I need to come and visit Teddy and Nelly. They are probably all involved with their pending weddings.”

  “Both madly in love, I might add,” Dutton laughed. “I am sorry about all that business before. I hope you can forgive me for the rude way I had treated you back then,” Dutton’s voice lowered. “I was a real cad, and I hope you are able to overlook it.”

  “I never think of it,” Eleanor told him.

  “Good,” Dutton breathed, and they continue down the stairs together.

  “I am expecting Bernard to show up any time now,” Eleanor mentioned. “If you see him when he lands, maybe you can ask him about the flags not being at half mast.”

  “I think I will do that,” Dutton smiled. “I’ll let you know what he says, but then you could probably ask him yourself.”

  “Garth does not trust him,” Eleanor told him. “This makes me concerned.”

  “It was probably nothing. Maybe they already put the flags at half mast, and they only do it for a certain amount of time after someone’s death,” Dutton offered.

  “Perhaps you are right,” Eleanor agreed. “When Bernard gets back, I will get answers to several questions that have been plaguing me lately.”

  “I’m sure you will,” Dutton supported. They had reached the front door, and Dutton took Eleanor’s hand in his, and brought it to his lips. “I will be looking forward to seeing you again soon,” he said, and then he departed, leaving Eleanor to watch after him and puzzle over the things he had informed her of.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Bernard frowned, as he looked down at the notes in his hand. He hadn’t gotten as much from his holdings as he had expected, and as soon as his creditors discovered he was liquidating everything, they were right there, demanding payment of his debts. This troubled him, because the Annie Bell was still in dry dock, and though other ships belonging to Sebastian were coming into port, Sebastian was not allowing them to leave. He claimed he wanted to have his accountants go over all the books, and take a full accounting of his assets, and discover how much money needed to go back into the ships to keep them in good repair.

  Bernard knew Sebastian was doing this on purpose to keep him from returning to England and back into Eleanor’s arms. Sebastian was hoping to return with him, Bernard thought, and that would spoil all of his plans. He would just have to work his way over on another ship, but then what would he tell Eleanor? She expected him to take over the shipping business once he returned, and coming back on another ship would seem strange. But then Eleanor was not familiar with all of Sebastian’s ships. She had only seen the Annie Bell. He could just tell her that t
he ship he arrived on was one of Sebastian’s and it was on its way to another port, as soon as it lifted anchor.

  Deciding this was his best bet, he made arrangements to work as one of the crew on an outgoing ship. Seeing as how he was Sebastian’s cousin, and many knew that Sebastian owned a fleet of ships, the captain did not question his abilities, considering he assumed Bernard would know as much about sailing as Sebastian did.

  When Sebastian heard that Bernard had sailed off on his own, he was sure he would be losing Eleanor forever, because Sebastian was not healthy enough to sail himself, and he did not know how long it would take for him to recover completely enough to make the voyage. He just hoped that Eleanor received his letter before Bernard returned. It was too early to expect any reply from her, so he had no idea if she had received the letter or not.

  As Bernard left the ship, making his way up the docks, once he arrived, he was surprised to see Dutton coming towards him. He remembered him from the dinner he attended when he first met Eleanor, and had never liked the man. “Well, I see you have returned,” Dutton called, as he held out his hand.

  “Yes. It took some time, but I have finally arrived.” Bernard tried to act civil to the man who had doted on Eleanor during the dinner.

  “Eleanor told me to keep an eye out for you. The letter you sent her got lost, and she wasn’t sure when you were arriving,” Dutton explained.

  “The letter I sent?” Bernard asked? “He had not sent any letter. He hadn’t even sent the letter Sebastian had asked him to post.”

  “Yes. She said she received a letter from America and was sure it was from you, but the maid misplaced it, and she was not able to read it.”

  Bernard took in a sigh of relief. Sebastian must have sent a letter on his own, and luckily Eleanor had not been able to read it.

  “Such a shame,” Bernard said. “Well, she will know soon enough that I have arrived. I am looking forward to seeing her again,” Bernard announced.