Clay’s defense went up when he saw who it was through the window; the visitor’s back was facing the door while he waited. Clay walked over, and opened the door, leaving the screen door shut. “What do you want, Jason?”
Jason spun on his heels, “Ah, I’m glad to see that you’re home.”
“Well, my truck is here, so that was a good sign I’d think.”
Jason shook his head with a small sarcastic laugh, “Have you seen Claire?”
Clay stared at him for a few seconds, “No, I haven’t. Not that I would tell you if I had.”
“Well, see her parents are looking for her. She left the house early this morning, and now she’s not answering her phone. So, I think you best not lie.”
The last time Clay talked to Claire was yesterday. He had been so busy working that he never called her today, which now brought concern that no one has talked to her. Clay pushed the screen door open, causing Jason to step back. “I said I haven’t seen her. I’m growing tired of your empty threats, so if you could get off my property that would be amazing.”
“They’re not really empty are they? Flat tires and the library are enough to tell you my threats are very real.”
“I haven’t seen her, Jason. When I do, I’ll make sure she calls her parents. Now leave.”
“Did you fuck her?” Jason asked.
Clay kept his hard gaze on him, but didn’t respond.
“You did, didn’t you?” Jason laughed. “How was that virgin pussy? I can’t believe she actually gave it up to you.” He shook his head. “Did she tell you, while you were fucking her, that we’re still together?”
Clay furrowed his eyebrows, “What are you talking about?”
A smile crept up on Jason’s face, “We’re still engaged. As far as her parents and the rest of the world are concerned.”
“Don’t fucking lie. You’re grasping for bullshit to prove a point.”
“Oh no, it is very true. She was pretty busy this week, wasn’t she? Dinner with her parents? I was there at every single dinner, as were my parents. She takes the ring I gave her off and on like it’s a costume. We have what you call an open relationship right now, but I plan on making you disappear one of these days. I just haven’t figured out how. I talked to Claire about it just last night when I was in her bed.” Jason ran his hand over his mouth. “But, by the look on your face, I see that this is all news to you.”
Clay stepped forward, balling his fists, “Get the fuck off of my property now.”
Jason laughed, and turned to walk down the steps, “If you hear from her, tell her I came looking for her.”
Clay’s anger was building fast in his chest. He watched Jason leave, and then walked back into his house slamming the door shut hard enough that a picture fell off the wall. He sat down at the foot of his bed trying to control his breathing; he couldn’t believe that she lied to him. How long had she been lying? The entire time? One of the most important things to Clay is honesty, and now he didn’t know what was true or a lie. He leaned his elbows on his knees, and ran his hands over his face a few times. “Fuck!” He yelled out.
He knew she was going to be at his house in about an hour, so he didn’t call her. He wanted her to either tell the truth, or lie to his face, either way this wasn’t going to end well.
*
Claire pulled into the driveway around 8:30. He didn’t even prep dinner because he was too distracted by his thoughts. He didn’t know what he was going to say to her. Maybe it was best to see how she acted.
He watched her from the door as she hopped out of her SUV. Just seeing her made some of his anger fade, it pained him that this conversation wasn’t going to go well.
“Hi,” She smiled brightly, and placed a kiss on his lips.
He held the door open for her, “Where have you been all day?”
She stared at him; he could tell she was confused. “What do you mean?”
“Jason stopped by looking for you. Your parents have been trying to reach you.”
“He did?”
He watched the color drain from her face, which tore him apart inside. “Tell me you’re not still with Jason.” Clay said firmly. Everything in him wanted what Jason told him to be a lie.
Claire looked at him like she had just seen a ghost, “I-I...well not technically. I can explain.”
Disappointment crossed Clay’s face, “You allowed me to turn you into the one thing I didn’t want you to become. Dishonesty does not look good on you.”
“You didn’t.” She walked up to him trying to take his hands, he pulled away. Her face was broken, “I didn’t cheat on anyone! I can explain.”
“You’re still technically engaged! That’s cheating!” His voice strained. “At least that’s what everyone believes. Who was at dinner last night, Claire? Tell me it’s a lie! Because, what it sounds like to me is that you were living a double life.”
“I don’t know how to end it with him. I’ll hurt everyone, including my parents.”
“To hell with your parents, Claire! What matters is you! He hit you for fucks sake! How can you still entertain the thought of him?”
“I know that. I was there.” Tears started to well up in her now dark blue eyes.
“You need to leave.” He said with no emotion in his voice. It pained him to say it, but he didn’t know what else to do.
“Tell me not to love you.” Claire’s voice broke, tears started to stream down her face. “Teach me how to push you away like you do to me so easily. You can’t even say you love me.” She gasped for air with a watery breath. “I’ll go back to my life, to Jason. I can do it, I’ve been pretending to be happy all my life, but I don’t know how to not love you. Just tell me how, so I can go.”
“I don’t push you away.”
“It’s what you’re doing right now.” She wiped her face. “You won’t even let me explain, you’re just writing me off.”
“Explain what, Claire? It’s all true.” He rolled his bottom lip, refraining from taking her in his arms. He hated when she cried. “I have been honest with you this entire time about how I feel, but you have been lying to me the entire time. How can I get past that?”
“Because, I love you. That’s how you move past it.”
“Stop saying that.” He wanted her to not love him, it would make this easier.
“Why?” Her voice was high. “Why are you so afraid of love? Why won’t you let anyone love you? You did it with Natasha, and now you’re doing it with me.” She took his face in her hands. “Just let me love you.”
His arms were folded across his chest, “Why are you still with him?”
Her hands dropped, “Our families are so intertwined, I don’t know how to get out. He’s threatened me that if I leave him, he’s going to make your life hell on earth.”
He dropped his arms, and ran his hands through his hair, “What the hell, Claire? That’s not for you to handle. That’s my problem not yours.”
“It’s not just that, my family will fall apart. Our fathers are business partners. I’d be breaking up two families. I’ve been waiting for the right time…”
“There’s never going to be a right time!”
She closed her mouth, her crying continuing, but she didn’t respond.
He looked into her deep blue eyes, her face wet from tears. “You need to leave.”
Her face suddenly went hard, “Do you want to know where I was all day?! Do you?!” She was yelling now.
He clenched his jaw, “Where were you?”
“I was in Lafayette.”
For a second he thought he didn’t hear her right.“Why were you there?”
“I went looking for your mom.” She took a breath. “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, but I found her. So, you can push me away all you want, but it won’t stop me from loving you. I did that for you.”
Clay felt the air disappear from his lungs; he thought the floor was shifting under him. “She’s alive?” Part of him always knew she was out
there somewhere, but this confirmed it.
“Yes.” Claire’s voice returned to normal. “I went to her house, and talked to her for a few hours.”
Clay walked over to the sofa, and sat down; putting his face into his hands, and then looked back up at her. “I don’t understand. How did you find her?”
“When your father showed me the pictures that night at dinner, there was one of you and your mom. I took it. At first I didn’t know what I was going to do with it. It wasn’t until last night; I thought maybe if I asked around enough that I would find her, but by sheer luck I ended up at a farmers market. She was there. It’s not a big city.”
Clay leaned back on the sofa, “She’s alive.”
“She changed her name to Dottie.” She sat down next to him.
He looked at her, “What’s she like?”
“You can find out for yourself. She wants to see you.”
Clay started staring at the wall again, trying to process everything. “I don’t want to see her.”
“Wait, what? You don’t want to see her? She’s alive, Clay.” She took his hand.
He laced his fingers with hers, “Thank you for finding her, but she left. She’s been alive this entire time, and hasn’t come back for me. Not even a letter or phone call. She doesn’t want us.”
Claire took in a breath, “It’s not like you went to look for her either.”
Clay met Claire’s eyes. She was right. He never even tried to find her. “I don’t think I can see her right now. I need time to wrap my head around this. What about my pop? What do I tell him?”
Claire laid her head on his shoulder, “Maybe don’t tell him until you are ready to see her.”
“What if I’m never ready?”
“Give it time.”
He looked over at her, and took her by the chin, “You have to end things with Jason. I don’t want to let you go, but I won’t share you. You have to come clean to your parents.”
Claire closed her eyes, “I know.”
“Hey,” he ran his thumb over her bottom lip, “I know you’re afraid, but I’ll be right here with you. I’ll even go with you if you want me to.”
She opened her eyes, “This is something I have to do alone.”
“You can’t be alone when you talk to Jason, or I will go with you.”
She twisted her mouth, “I won’t. I’ll do it at my house with my parents home.”
“You said that I push you away, but I could never push you away. You have my heart, my beautiful girl. You are the first thing I think about when I wake, and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. You’re even in my dreams, and you have awoken my soul.”
A small smile formed on her face, “When did you become so poetic?”
“The day that I saw you in that blue dress with your mom.”
She looked at him confused, “The first time you saw me?”
“I’ve thought about you every day since then. You might have been out of my reach, but that didn’t stop you from captivating me.”
Her face flushed a light pink, “I know I've said this before, but I hate that I didn’t meet you sooner.” She pressed her lips to his.
He kissed her back with such passion, like he was afraid to lose her. She leaned back, and he moved over top of her; their bodies entangling in each other. They made love on the sofa that night. This time was different. This time was a passionate, vulnerable kind of love. Both of their hearts were bare, as they thrusted until they reached their high. There’s something about letting all your walls come down, and letting someone in. It’s as if someone has seen who you truly are for the first time.
Chapter Twenty Six
Claire
Three days passed since Claire told Clay about his mother, and he found out about Jason. When he confronted her about the lie that she had been living, she thought her world was coming down around her. It wasn’t her family or life that she feared of losing, it was Clay. He had become everything to her. Without him she felt she could not breathe the sweet air, or feel the sun’s loving warmth.
Tonight she planned to tell her parents, and confront Jason. Her stomach was in knots from worry. She paced her room waiting for 7PM to hit. That was when Jason and his parents were expected to arrive. Her plan was first to talk to Jason, and then to tell the truth to her parents.
Her head shot up to her bedroom door at the sound of the front door opening and voices; Familiar voices that she had known for years. She felt as if she were going to throw up. Clay told her that he would do this with her, and at this moment she wished he were here, but she knew she had to do this alone. “I can do this.” She said to herself, as she straightened out her dress in the mirror.
Her heart was beating hard while she walked down the stairs; Jason’s back came into view as he stood in between the sitting room and foyer. His green eyes looked up at her, his face looked kind when he gave her a welcoming smile. Flashbacks from when they first started dating came back to her; he was her first kiss, her first love, the boy who made her laugh. Her heart hurt not understanding how he changed from that boy to this man. He wasn’t the same person anymore.
She walked up next to him, “Hi.”
Jason kissed her on the cheek, “I like that dress.”
“Thanks.” She forced a smile; her hands sweating from nerves.
“Claire is here, Sweetheart. We can eat now.” Her father called out to her mom, who was in the kitchen.
They all moved into the dining room, and sat in their normal spots. She was across from Jason, avoiding making eye contact with him. The food didn’t seem appealing to her, she had no appetite. To not raise any questions, she put a little salad and chicken on her plate.
Their conversations were normal. Claire didn’t dare speak for fear of her voice shaking. She was refusing to admit that she was terrified of Jason’s impending reaction. After he slapped her, and the amount of times he had grabbed her forcefully, she couldn’t foresee his actions anymore.
Claire waited until Jason’s parents went home, and she was saying “goodnight” to Jason on the front porch. Her parents were just inside the front door in the sitting room, indulging in whiskey and wine. Claire had one glass of wine to calm her nerves, and thankfully Jason only had water.
“I’m surprised you walked me out,” Jason turned to face her with his hands in his pockets.
She was wringing her hands together, “I...wanted to talk to you.”
His calm face quickly changed, “About what?”
“I can’t do this anymore.” She felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest.
“What are you saying, Claire?” He stepped closer to her. “And think very carefully about what you say next.”
“I’m going to tell my parents. I don’t want to live this lie anymore with you. I’m tired of pretending.”
“You promised me that we would stay together until the end of summer ball which is next week.”
Claire laughed, “What did you think was going to happen after that? It was always going to end.”
“Well, I thought you would come to your senses. I thought you would get your slutty ways out of your system, and realize that you’re not a whore.”
Claire’s mouth dropped open, “You’re a pig!”
“This is about Clay isn’t it?” He ran his hand over his mouth. “You fucked him, and now you want to destroy your entire life.”
“That’s not it at all.”
“But, you did fuck him, didn’t you?” He glared at her like she was beneath him.
“He has nothing to do with my decision to leave you.”
“Then what is it, Claire?! Because, I’m having a hard time understanding why you would throw everything away for him!” Jason’s voice was booming loud. “Because I love you, and I think that's enough to stay.”
She was sure her parents could hear from inside. She bit her bottom lip, and then spoke, “You don’t love me, you love the idea of me.”
“That’s
not fucking true!”
“Yes it is!” Her voice strained. “We would be this picture perfect power couple, but on the inside we would be broken. I won’t live like that.”
He rushed up to her grabbing both her arms with the same forceful strength that he always did, “Don’t do this.” He said, staring into her eyes.
“You’re hurting me.” She whimpered, trying to pull her arms back, “Why do you always hurt me?”
“I didn’t do anything to you. Stop crying.” He let go of her arms. “How could you leave me for a piece of shit like Clay Williams?”
She clenched her teeth, “Clay is more of a man than you will ever be!”
He raised his hand as if he were to hit her, she winced closing her eyes, but the strike never came. She opened her eyes, and his hand had balled into a fist, and he dropped his arm to his side. “So, you’re going to tell your parents?” He cocked his head. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“I’m going to tell them right after this conversation is over.” She said firmly.
He narrowed his eyes at her, “I want to be present. Let’s go.” He walked toward the door, and opened it. “Mr. and Mrs. Cunningham, Claire has something she wants to say to you.”
Claire watched him walk into her house, she felt like crying now, “Fuck.”
*
This was not how she thought this conversation was going to go. She found herself standing in front of her parents in the sitting room with Jason to her right. His arms were folded across his chest as he waited for her to speak.
“What is it, Honey?” Her mom asked, sipping on her wine. Her father was staring her down, as he swirled his whiskey in his glass.
“Um,” She took in a deep breath, “We’re ending our relationship.”
Jason unfolded his arms, “There’s no we in this scenario. Don’t you let them believe that I want this.”
Both her parents were looking at them confused. “What are you talking about?” Her mother asked. Her father’s face was statuesque.
Under the Oak Tree Page 20
