“I don’t want to get married anymore.” Claire was holding back her emotions, but felt like her world was spinning out of control.
“Why don’t you want to get married?” Her mom continued.
Claire didn’t respond, she was trying to find the right words.
“Tell them.” Jason said. “Tell them, or I will.”
“Tell us what?”
Claire glared at Jason, “That Jason is a jerk.”
“You’re just having an argument. Let’s talk this through.” Her mom said, clearly in denial. “Change is hard…”
Suddenly Claire snapped, “No, Mom! It’s not about change, it’s not about the stress of the stupid wedding, or even college! Why can’t anyone accept that I don’t want to get married!” Claire was surprised when she stopped yelling at how high her voice got.
“No.” Her father said flatly, and stood. “This is about Clay Williams, don’t you dare act like I’m blind or a fool, young lady.”
Claire stared at her father, “You know about Clay?”
Her father took a sip of his drink, “Do you think that I haven’t noticed you sneaking off without Jason? You’ve been unfaithful, and an embarrassment to this family and your fiancé.”
Claire felt her emotions go numb; she couldn’t believe what was coming out of her father’s mouth. “I haven’t embarrassed anyone!”
Her father walked up to her, “You will marry Jason, you will work this out, and you will stop speaking to Clay Williams. Jason has been good to you, I’m so disappointed in you.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Claire said, holding back tears. She looked at her mom for help, but her mom had the look of shock on her face. “I’m not going to stop seeing Clay.” Claire shot back.
“You will if you want to remain in this house!” Her father snapped. “I will kick you out, you can go upstairs, and pack everything you own. Don’t you dare jeopardize what Alan and I have built.”
Claire gasped, “That’s all you care about!”
“Kevin…” Claire’s mom tried to interject.
“I care about your damn future! It wasn’t until Clay that you wanted to quit law school.”
“You don’t want to finish law school?” Jason spoke up. She had almost forgotten he was standing there.
“You two will go to premarital counseling.” Her father waved her off. “I’ve decided.” He sat back down in his brown leather chair.
“I hate you.” She whispered to her dad, and turned to storm out of the sitting room. She picked up her purse.
“Young lady,” Her father barked. “I want your car keys.”
She squinted at him, “I’m an adult you can’t take my keys.”
Her father raised his eyebrows, “I can when it’s my name on the registration. Hand me your keys.” He held his hand out.
She pursed her lips shut, and dug into her purse to retrieve her keys. She held them in her hand, debating if she wanted to bolt out the front door. Then she dropped them on the floor, shooting her dad a look of hurt, and rushed up the stairs to her room.
Her heart felt defeated. She shut her bedroom door, and turned the lock, resting her back against it as her emotions poured out of her. She slid down to the floor, and pulled her knees to her chest as she cried.
It wasn’t the fact that her father wanted her to stay with Jason; it was the fact that he cared more about what he and Jason’s father had built together than her own happiness. He didn’t even let her confess how Jason treats her. He simply brushed it off to her and Jason having a disagreement, and then he had the audacity to tell Claire that SHE embarrassed Jason. She shook her head, resting it against the door.
“Claire, honey. It’s me.” Claire’s mom’s voice came from the other side of the door.
“Go away, Mom.” She said through her tears.
“I just want to talk to you; to understand.”
Claire closed her eyes tight, tears falling on her cheeks, “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
“I just want to understand, Claire.”
“If you have to ask, then you haven’t been paying attention.” Claire knew her mom did love her, but sometimes her mom would get so distracted with her luncheons and appearance that she became oblivious to what was really going on.
“You know your father would never kick you out.”
Claire rolled her eyes, “Where’s Dad now?”
“He’s speaking with Jason downstairs.”
Claire sighed, “Plotting my demise, I’m sure.”
“Don’t speak like that.” Her mom knocked again. “Will you let me in?”
Claire wiped her eyes, and got up off the floor. She unlocked the door, and was greeted with a sullen version of her mother. “Come here.” Her mom opened her arms, and hugged Claire tightly.
Claire pulled away, “Why won’t anyone listen to me?” She sat down on her bed.
Her mom followed, “We hear you. I just don’t think that you’re thinking clearly.”
“I love him.”
Her mom took her hand, “Who?”
“Clay.”
“Honey, I don’t think it’s love. Clay is exciting and new. Your feelings will fade, and your life will be hard. You will regret choosing Clay over Jason, I promise you.”
Claire took her hand away, “You don’t even know him, and I don’t care if life is hard. What’s the point of an easy life if you’re miserable?”
“Jason loves you.”
“I don’t love him.” Claire’s voice got high. “You don’t know how he treats me.”
“How does he treat you?”
“He…” She wanted to tell her mother that he’s aggressive with her, that he’s put bruises on her arms, and hit her in the face. This was her moment to tell the truth. “He hurts me, Mom.”
Her mom looked at her confused, “What do you mean, hurts you?”
“It’s mostly verbal, but it’s not just that. He hit me in the face, and grabs me by the arms strong enough to…”
“No!” Her mom raised her hand, cutting her off. “You’re stretching this lie too far, Claire Elaine. We have known Jason since he was little, he has never hurt you. I won’t let you ruin Jason’s reputation just because you are infatuated with Clay.” Her mother stood, walking toward the door. “Maybe you do need to stay in here, and think about your actions.” Her mother got to the door, giving her one more look. “Goodnight.”
Claire’s bottom lip trembled; the tears returned. She covered her mouth, trying not to sob. She finally got the courage to speak the actual words that Jason abuses her, and her mother didn’t believe her. Not even a little. Claire felt her heart breaking.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Clay
Clay was laying on his couch, writing in one of his journals while he waited on Claire to call him. He knew while he sat there that she was ending things with Jason, and talking to her parents. He kept checking his phone in ten minute intervals; it wasn’t until 10:30 at night that his phone started vibrating on his coffee table.
“Hey, Beautiful,” Clay said warmly. “How did it go?”
“Fine.” Her voice was low and deflated.
He sat up, “That bad?”
“Mhmm.”
It tore him in two, hearing her sound so sad. “Why don’t you come over? We can talk about it. Or, I can just hold you until you fall asleep?”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“My father took my keys.” She sighed. “I’m emotionally drained. I don’t think I could drive if I wanted to.”
“What about Jason?” Clay felt bad for pushing what happened out of her, but he wanted to make sure that she was ok.
A few too many seconds passed before she answered. “All that matters is that it’s over; at least for me that is.”
“What does that mean?”
“Clay,” Her voice broke, he could tell she started to cry. “Can we just not talk about it? It’s hard enough to upset my
parents. I don’t want to think about Jason.”
“Of course.”
She sniffled, “I think I’m going to go to sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
They ended the call, but Clay couldn’t stop thinking about Claire crying herself to sleep alone. She didn’t want to talk about Jason, which only meant that that conversation went south. He leaned back on his sofa, annoyed that he couldn’t do anything in this situation.
Around midnight Clay found himself parked down the street from Claire’s house. He knew this could possibly be one of the worst ideas he’s ever had, but he wasn’t really thinking at the moment. All he knew was that he wanted to be there for her.
He pulled his phone out to call her.
She answered in a whisper, “Hello?”
“Were you awake?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
He leaned on his arm, staring out his windshield, “Come outside.”
“What? Are you here?”
“Yes.”
She paused, “What are you doing here?”
“Come outside, and you’ll find out.”
“Clay, you can’t be here. What if my parents wake up?”
“What are they going to do? Tell me to leave? Come outside.”
She huffed, “Ok. Give me five minutes.”
Five minutes later Claire appeared in the middle of the street, the moon shining down on her as she walked toward his truck. She was wearing a white sleep shirt with matching shorts. She smiled when she opened the passenger door, “What are you doing here?”
“Get in, and shut the door.”
She rolled her eyes, “Fine.” She hopped in, slamming the door shut.
When she turned to face him, he reached behind her neck, pulling her into a kiss. She fell into him, as they remained lip locked for a few moments. When she released, he looked into her eyes, he could tell she was fighting tears.
“What happened tonight?” He asked.
Her tears didn’t break the damn; she was holding them back pretty well. She looked down at their intertwined hands, “There was a lot of yelling from my dad and Jason. My dad said things that I don’t think he meant, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.”
“Did he accept that you didn’t want to be with Jason?”
Her eyes found his, “It doesn’t matter what he accepts. I told him the truth. I make my own decisions.”
He cupped her cheek, “You think it doesn’t matter, but I know you care about your father’s opinion.”
“Come to the end of summer ball with me.” She said, changing the subject. She clearly didn’t want to talk about it.
“At the country club? I don’t think that’s such a great idea.”
“What if I said I needed you there with me?” She smiled. “Plus, you could see me in a pretty dress.”
He smirked, “Your pretty little dress won’t last long on your body, because I’ll probably want to rip it off of you.”
“I’m ok with that.” She crawled over, mounting his lap. “I’m ok with you doing whatever you want to my body.”
Clay groaned, “Don’t play with fire, Claire. You might get fucked in this truck.” He felt himself harden from her sitting on him.
She pressed her lips to his, “I’m also ok with that.”
He laughed against her mouth, and then looked her in the eyes, “Are you sure you’re ok?”
“I am now that you’re here.” She kissed him again.
“That’s why I came.” He pushed her hair out of her face, “I couldn’t bear being away from you, knowing you were upset.”
“Let’s go see your mom this weekend.” She said.
He didn’t break eye contact with her, but he didn’t respond either. He didn’t know if he was ready to see his mom after all this time.
She spoke again, “You’ll never be truly ready. Sometimes you just have to face things. Let me be there for you, like you are here with me tonight. We can do this together.”
“How are you so perfect?” He said.
“It’s because I love you.” She smiled, kissing him with force. She rocked her hips forward, and he felt like he was going to bust out of his pants. When she reached down to unbuckle his belt; that was all he needed. He took his belt from her, quickly unlatching it. Her hands found his cheeks as she continued to kiss him. He pulled himself out, and slid her stretchy pajama pants to the side, and thrusted inside of her.
“Oh, Clay,” She moaned against his mouth. “I want you to fuck me.”
He thrusted up, bottoming out, “Touch yourself, Baby.”
Her blue eyes opened focusing on him, “I…”
“It’s ok.” He took her hand, and placed it down her shorts. “I want to watch you please yourself.”
She took in a breath, and he watched her move her hand in circular motions, while he thrusted up into her. The sight alone was enough to make him finish. Her face was flushing red, her eyes closed tight, her mouth agape. He knew she was going to reach her peak quickly, and he wanted to meet her there.
She whimpered, nearing her climax.
“That’s it, Baby. Faster.” He growled.
He felt her clench around him, the warmth of her climax coming down his shaft, and her head fell back as she cried out. Three more thrusts and he met her right where he wanted to. He pulled her into a deep passionate kiss as they painted against each other.
“I love you, Clay Williams.” She whimpered. “I know you’re afraid to say it, but I love you so much it hurts.”
*
That Saturday Clay and Claire made plans to drive to Lafayette to see his mother. Clay would never admit it, but he was nervous. Especially since he hadn’t spoken to his father about Claire finding his mom. Claire’s parents were at the country club preparing for next weekend's ball. Her mother had given her keys back a few days after they took them, so it wouldn’t be strange to not find her home whenever they got back.
“You’re sure she knows we’re coming?” Clay asked, staring at the road, as he drove onto the interstate.
“I talked to her this morning. She knows, and I think she’s just as nervous as you.”
Clay tightened his grip on the steering wheel, “And she’s married?”
“No, not married. She’s had a boyfriend for the past ten years, though.”
“What was his name? Will he be there?”
Claire laughed, “His name is Benjamin, and no he will not be there.” She placed her hand on his arm. “You’ve got to stop with the twenty questions; she will tell you all you want to know.”
He glanced over at her; the icy blue eyes that always calmed him stared back at him. He gave her a weak smile, “I just want to know what I’m walking into.”
“It’s going to be fine.” She reached over and rubbed his shoulder. “She’s very nice.”
He wanted to believe her; he wanted to believe that his mother was a kind person. But, what Claire didn’t know was that every bad outcome was running through his mind. He had waited thirteen years for this day, and he wasn’t sure he was brave enough to do it. His mother lived in his nightmares; she was the reason he lay awake at night. That stormy night would play over and over again like a broken record, the lightning crackling, his father’s broken voice calling out her name, the emptiness of her never coming home.
Suddenly Clay veered off to the side of the road, and stopped the truck with an abrupt jerk.
“What’s happening?” Claire sounded worried. “Are you ok?”
Clay didn’t respond; he jumped out of the car, and ran his hands through his hair as he stormed away. He walked around the truck, and bent over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
Claire followed. Other cars whizzed by on the interstate. She placed her hand on his back, “Are you ok?”
“No, I’m not ok!” He snapped, standing up. He didn’t mean too, he just couldn’t calm himself down.
She backed away, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought…”
&n
bsp; Clay spun around, storming up to her, “That’s just it, you didn’t think. You didn’t think at all! I’m not broken. I don’t need to be fixed!”
She stared back at him with shock on her face, “I know you’re not broken.”
“Do you?! Because it doesn’t seem like it!”
“I know you're not broken, stop saying that. I don’t understand what’s happening. Just tell me what is going through your mind right now, because you look like you’re freaking out.”
“Of course I’m freaking out!” He was still yelling, but more so because of the noise of the cars on the interstate. “You want to know what’s going through my mind? That night. The night that she left. The lightning flashing, the howling wind, my dad. What if she still doesn’t want me? What if she gets to know me, and I’m still not good enough? I’ve lived the past thirteen years without her; I’m a good person, and I became that way without her. She never wanted me, Claire.” He felt his emotions rising; he had never been this vulnerable with anyone before. He always kept things bottled up. “I know it’s hard for you to understand, but it fucking sucks when a parent doesn’t want you. It really fucking sucks.”
Claire didn’t speak for a few seconds, and then walked up to him taking his broken face in her hands, “I don’t know what it’s like, you’re right. But, I do know you might regret never trying.” She took a breath. “And, if she doesn’t want a relationship still? At least you tried. Would you want to live your entire life wondering what if?”
His posture softened; Regret filled him; He shouldn’t have yelled. He stepped forward, taking Claire into his arms. “I’m sorry for yelling.” He rested his chin on the top of her head. “Do you remember when you told me you didn’t want to label your father an alcoholic, so that his perfect image could remain in your head? It’s like that. If I meet her, and she’s nothing like the image in my head, all the good memories I have of her will disappear. It’s hard knowing you weren’t wanted. That you weren’t enough.”
She pulled away a little, and looked up at him, “You’re enough for me.”
He kissed her lips, “And, you’re too good for me.”
Under the Oak Tree Page 21
