A car flew by, causing Claire to jump, “Can we get off the side of the interstate now?”
Chapter Twenty Eight
Clay
Clay pulled onto the street that Claire instructed him to; his mother’s street. His heart was beating faster, his grip still tight on the steering wheel. It was a normal street, with normal houses, normal kids were playing outside. That’s when it hit Clay that she had an entire life without him. He wasn’t sure what he expected to see, but he didn’t expect it to hit him like it was.
“This is it.” Claire pointed to a blue house; a silver car was parked out front.
He parked his truck on the street in front of her house, “No one is ever ready for this, right?” He said staring at the front door.
Claire took his hand, “Right.”
“She’s inside that house right now, waiting.”
“You’re enough for me; no matter what happens.” Claire kissed him deeply.
When she released, he opened his eyes; he was met with her icy blue eyes that instantly calmed him. “Let’s go.” He said, and got out of the car.
Claire knocked on the door, and stepped back taking his hand. She squeezed it, and he smiled down at her. The front door opened, and Clay’s attention shot up. His eyes locked in on the woman standing before them. He recognized her immediately; brown curly hair, fair skin, older. Her hand went to her mouth; he thought he heard her gasp, but he couldn’t tell, because all he could hear was white noise.
“Should we go inside?” Claire spoke, since neither one of them would.
His mom looked at Claire finally, “Yes, come in, please.” She held the door open further.
They sat in her living room while she brought out a pitcher of lemonade and a few pink glasses. Clay was watching his mom intently; he still hadn’t said a word. Claire hadn’t removed her hand from his. He was sure she could feel his palms sweating.
His mom sat down across from them in a chair, “How was the drive?”
“That’s the first thing you say?” Clay snapped. “After all this time, that’s the first thing you say?”
“Clay,” Claire said firmly, clearly trying to make him stop.
His mother seemed flustered, “I-I didn’t...don’t know how to do this.”
“I’m sorry.” Claire smiled at her. “The drive was nice; he’s not normally this rude.”
Clay and his mom had yet to break eye contact even with Claire speaking to her. He let go of Claire’s hand, “You changed your name?”
“Yes.” She gave him a deflated smile. “I go by Dottie now.”
“Why did you leave?” He asked. He could feel Claire’s eyes burning into him.
“No, one is going to like you if you’re rude.” Claire said under her breath.
He shot Claire a look, “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to understand.” He looked back at his mom. “I don’t really want to beat around the bush, and waste even more of my time hoping that you would give me the answer that I want to hear.”
“What is it that you want me to say?” His mom spoke.
Clay ran his hands over his face, and leaned back on the sofa, “I don’t know anymore.” He looked back at her, “I thought you were dead. Everyone told me you were, so I believed it for a long time. Until one day I wanted you to be out there somewhere. I don’t know why, but just knowing you were somewhere in the world brought me peace. Even though you left, I wanted you to be alive.”
His mom’s eyes started to water, tears trickled down her face. Clay was surprised that he had the same broken hearted feeling for her, as he did with Claire when she cried.
His mom finally spoke, wiping her cheek, “I can’t justify why I left, and if I told you my reasons, you would hate me. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made. But, once it was done, I couldn’t see how I could turn back. When Roy found me…”
She continued talking, but he froze on when Roy found me. He felt the bottom of his world fall out from under him. “Pop found you?”
He could see Claire’s hand on her mouth out of the corner of his eye, she was surprised by this news too.
His mom nodded her head, “Yes. He never told you? It was shortly after I disappeared.”
Clay felt numb, “No, he didn’t.”
“What happened when he found you?” Claire asked the question that Clay couldn’t find the words to ask. He was too distracted by his father lying to him.
She took a breath, “We argued, he tried to get me to come back, but I told him that I couldn’t. Eventually he left, but when he did, he told me that I would never know you. That he wouldn’t allow me to hurt you anymore. I didn’t think he was serious. I thought eventually he would have told you the story, but I was clearly wrong.”
“Why would he keep something like that from me?” Clay asked, still holding her eyes.
“Because, he loved you with everything that he was, and I didn’t love you enough. I loved myself more, and that was one of the most selfish things that I have ever done.” Tears were streaming down her face. “Don’t hate your father for what he thought was right. I left you Clay, he didn’t.”
His entire body felt hot, he felt his emotions rising again, he looked away. His eyes found Claire’s, and that was all he needed to subdue his emotions. He looked back at his mom, “I could never hate my pop, but did you never want to see me?”
She placed her hand on her chest, “Clay, I left you, because I didn’t want a family. Anyone can interpret that into me not wanting you. How do you face something like that? Go to the child that I didn’t want, and say I'm ready now?”
Her words stung like salt on a wound, she just admitted that she didn’t want him back then. He clenched his jaw, “You face it by being a human being. I was owed an explanation. I wasn’t something you could put on a shelf, and take down for Christmas pictures. That’s not how this works.” Clay stood, he was ready to leave. “But, I want to thank you; you taught me that I am going to love my children fiercely. I will never abandon them.” He walked toward the door.
“Clay stop,” Claire called out.
With his hand on the door, he looked over his shoulder, “What?”
“You face it by being a human being, this is your turn. Don’t go.” Claire pleaded. “Just sit down, and talk to her.”
He turned to face them, “I’m done talking, Claire.” He gestured to his mom. “I got my answer, she didn’t want me.”
Claire balled her fists, and closed her eyes tightly, “Clay Williams, if you care about me at all, you will sit down, and have a conversation like an adult! I know this is hard for both of you, but neither one of you will move past this if you don’t talk.”
He knew she was right. Clay glared at Claire, as he walked back over toward her. “Fine.”
Clay sat in silence as Claire and his mother spoke. It was a rocky transition going to normal conversations, but one thing Claire was good at was people. Sometimes Clay thought she could charm her way out of any situation. He watched his mother and Claire together; they seemed like old friends after only meeting once.
“I love your collection of books.” Claire said.
His mother looked to her right at the bookshelf along the wall, “Ah, yes. I’ve collected over the years. Reading calms me.”
Claire placed her hand on his knee, “Clay did some work on the library back home. He said that you helped set it up?”
His mother glanced at him, “Yes, I did. He would sit on the steps while I organized the books. That was such a pretty building; the stained glass was my favorite.”
“That’s my favorite part too.” Claire smiled.
Clay spoke up, “I remember that. You had me go around, putting the lettered labels on the shelves, even though I messed them all up. None of them were in order.”
His mother smiled, “I couldn’t tell my five year old that he was wrong. You were so happy that you were helping me.”
Clay felt a smile forming, a small one, but it was there. “I got a splint
er from one of the shelves, and I bled onto one of the books pages. Since you couldn’t put it in the library anymore, you let me keep it.”
“It was an old book with a leather spine. I don’t remember the name, but you begged me to read it to you. Do you still have it?”
“Pop does. It’s on his shelf in his living room.”
They fell into conversation for the next hour. It still felt strange for him, Claire had to help move the conversation along at some points, but Clay was thankful that he stayed. He found out that his mother worked at a local plant nursery, while her boyfriend Benjamin was an accountant. They went to church on Sundays, and spent holidays with Benjamin's family in Tennessee.
When his mother asked about his relationship with Claire, Claire answered for him with a fluffy cotton candy version, leaving out the parts of Jason from their story.
Clay looked at his watch, and realized they had to leave now in order to be back home in time, “I think we need to leave. It’s getting late.”
“Ok, well,” His mother stood. “Thank you for coming to see me.”
Claire walked up to her, and hugged her, “I will keep in touch, and don’t forget to send me that cookie recipe.”
“You are such a lovely girl.” His mom hugged her again. “Thank you for bringing him.”
Claire walked toward the door, and it was Clay’s turn to say goodbye. He didn’t know how to act at first, and then decided to hug her. She wrapped both arms around his back, squeezing him tightly. “My sweet boy.” Her voice cracked, she was crying again.
Her hug lingered, and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. This was everything he wanted. He dreamt of the day of finding her, and this was it. “Mom, I don’t hate you.”
She pulled away, and wiped under her eyes, “You don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say that. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”
“It’s ok.” Claire walked up, and rubbed her arm.
“Will you two come back? Maybe, meet Benjamin?”
Claire looked up at Clay for the answer. It was so much to process, seeing his mom after thirteen years. He looked back and forth between the two of them, and then answered, “I think I can do that.”
*
Clay pulled into his driveway around 5:30; he passed his house and drove toward his father’s. He already dropped Claire off, and had been trying to figure out what he was going to say to his father at dinner. He didn’t want to call him a liar, but that’s how he felt. He felt that his father has lied to him for the past thirteen years.
Clay walked into the kitchen; His father was sitting at his dining room table, flipping through a cookbook. “Hey, Pop.”
His father looked up, “I thought we’d try this chicken recipe that I found.”
“Yeah, sure.” Clay leaned against the counter, staring at his father. “I need to ask you something.”
“Ok.” His father took his glasses off, and rubbed his eye with his knuckle. “What is it?”
Clay clenched his jaw, he didn’t want to argue with his father. “Did you find Mom?”
His father set his glasses on the table, “It was a long time ago, but I think you’re old enough now. Yes, I found her.”
“Why did you lie to me?”
“Clay, come take a seat. Let me explain.”
“I’ve done enough sitting and listening today, I’d prefer to stand.”
His father sighed, “You were eleven when she left, and you were my first priority. When I found her, she didn’t want our family. You were so upset that she disappeared, I couldn’t break you all over again, telling you that your own mother didn’t want us; you. It would have destroyed you. You had nightmares for months after she disappeared.”
Clay stared at his father; what he didn’t know is that Clay still had nightmares up until Claire came into his life. Anytime that it would storm, he would lay awake until the sun came up.
“But, you lied to me. You could have told me when I was older.”
“You never asked, Clay. It was like you blocked that part of your life out.”
It was true, he did block out thoughts of his mother as much as he could. “I found her. Well, Claire found her, but I went to see her today.”
“I knew you would one day. It had to be on your terms, or hers; no one else’s.”
“She changed her name.” Clay walked over, and sat down at the table across from his dad. “It was a rough conversation.”
“What did she say?”
“She admitted everything. That she didn’t want me; that she was too afraid to come back for me when she wanted to; that leaving was her biggest regret.” Clay drummed his fingers. “She wants to see me again.”
“Do you want to see her?”
“Maybe. I told her I would.”
Silence fell over them. Clay was still processing his day. He knew the truth, and didn’t have to wonder anymore.
“Claire is good for you.” His father spoke. “You hold tight to that one. Girls like that don’t come around twice.”
A smile formed in the corner of Clay’s mouth, “She’s pretty great.”
His father picked up the cookbook, “Now about this chicken, it calls for lemons.”
“Ok, I’ll make it, Pop.” Clay laughed, taking the book from his father.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Claire
The end of summer ball was an event put on by the wealthy families of their town. Each family would donate money to finance the ball. At the end of the night they would pick a charity to donate the money that was left over. Claire hated attending; she always thought that it was just another excuse to one up the next person that you supposedly considered a friend.
Each year the ball would honor a couple that was up and coming in their town; a couple who would follow in their parents footsteps, and keep their beloved town’s traditions alive. The town is supposed to vote, but the important families made sure to see that it was rigged. The couple was always pre chosen before the ballots made it to the table. The honor this year is to be bestowed on Claire and Jason. Something Claire has protested since she found out. Her parents helped organize the entire ball, putting forth the second most donation out of all the families, right behind Jason’s.
The days since Claire’s argument with her father and Jason were daunting, her father acted as if their conversations didn’t even happen. He still speaks to Claire like they are on the right track to his version of success. He still addresses Claire and Jason as if nothing at all has gone wrong. The one thing he did recognize from their argument was that he found a therapist for Claire and Jason to attend together.
Claire was dressed in a long black strappy dress that hugged her body. Her long blonde hair was styled in old movie style curls, paired with a red lip. As she stared in the mirror, her stomach filled with butterflies from the anticipation of Clay seeing her like this.
Claire’s father was keeping close watch over her since their argument, and wasn’t allowing her to drive herself to the ball. She was thankful that he didn’t force her to ride with Jason. They hadn’t really talked since that night. He stopped by a few times, but Claire told him to leave each time that he showed up.
“Are you ready, Honey?” Her mom called from downstairs.
Claire looked at herself one more time in the mirror, “I’ll be right down.” She grabbed her clutch, and threw her phone in it. She had a pit of worry in her stomach since Clay was coming. Her father could pretend that her feelings for him weren’t real, but after tonight the whole town was going to know. It wasn’t her best idea, but she thought it was her only option.
“Well, you look beautiful.” Her mother smiled at her as she walked down the stairs.
“Thanks, Mom.” Claire stopped on the bottom step. “Where’s Dad?”
“I’m here.” Her father’s voice came from the top of the stairs. He was wearing a black and white tux. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
Claire laughed to herself, because it was indeed
a show.
*
The country club was dimly lit, the tables had black feather centerpieces in gold vases, the table cloths were glittering gold; warm white up lighting shined on the walls. Claire wasn’t really sure of the theme, except that it reminded her of a Gatsby party. Her eyes scanned the room for Clay, but she hadn’t spotted him. She did however see Jason across the dance floor wearing a black and white tux and tie.
Her parents dispersed, and she was left alone. She tried to not make eye contact with Jason, and walked over to the bar.
“Champagne, please.” She told the bartender.
“Are you avoiding me?” Jason whispered in her ear from behind.
Claire kept her gaze on the wall of liquor bottles, “No, I’m getting a drink.”
“Here you are, Miss. Cunningham.” The bartender said, setting a champagne glass in front of her. She was used to people she didn’t know knowing her name.
She smiled, and nodded, “Thank you.”
He rubbed the back of her arm, making her skin crawl. “You look quite beautiful in this dress; I’d like to take it off of you. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind since you already gave yourself away.” He stepped closer pressing himself up against her, her anxiety was rising.
Her eyes glanced at the bartender, but he was pretending he didn’t see or hear anything. She turned to face Jason, “We’re not here together, no matter what you think.”
Jason reached up brushing her hair behind her ear, “Sweetheart, I love you. But, you don’t get to decide that anymore. If you learned anything from your father’s reaction the other night, you know that there is no easy way out of this.”
Claire shrugged his touch off of her, “Please, don’t touch me.”
He leaned forward to whisper in her ear again, “I will kill Clay Williams if you try my patience again.”
She narrowed her eyebrows looking at him, “You’re pathetic, you would no such thing.” She pushed passed him, walking away from the bar.
“Do you want to find out?” Jason said loud enough for her to hear, but still low.
Under the Oak Tree Page 22
