Eben Holden: A Tale of the North Country

by Irving Bacheller

  Chapter 22

  The horse played a part of no small importance in that country. He wasthe coin of the realm, a medium of exchange, a standard of value, anexponent of moral character. The man that travelled without a horse wason his way to the poorhouse. Uncle Eb or David Brower could tell a goodhorse by the sound of his footsteps, and they brought into St LawrenceCounty the haughty Morgans from Vermont. There was more pride in theirhigh heads than in any of the good people. A Northern Yankee who was notcarried away with a fine horse had excellent self-control. Politics andthe steed were the only things that ever woke him to enthusiasm, andthere a man was known as he traded. Uncle Eb used to say that oneought always to underestimate his horse 'a leetle fer the sake of areputation'.

  We needed another horse to help with the haying, and Bob Dean, a trickytrader, who had heard of it, drove in after supper one evening, andoffered a rangy brown animal at a low figure. We looked him over, triedhim up and down the road, and then David, with some shrewd suspicion,as I divined later, said I could do as I pleased. I bought the horse andled him proudly to the stable. Next morning an Irishman, the extra manfor the haying, came in with a worried look to breakfast.

  'That new horse has a chittern' kind of a coff,' he said.

  'A cough?' said I.

  ''Tain't jist a coff, nayther,' he said, 'but a kind of toom!'

  With the last word he obligingly imitated the sound of the cough. Itthrew me into perspiration.

  'Sounds bad,' said Uncle Eb, as he looked at me and snickered.

  ''Fraid Bill ain't much of a jockey,' said David, smiling.

  'Got a grand appetite--that hoss has,' said Tip Taylor.

  After breakfast Uncle Eb and I hitched him to the light buggy andtouched him up for a short journey down the road. In five minutes he hadbegun to heave and whistle. I felt sure one could have heard him half amile away. Uncle Eb stopped him and began to laugh.

  'A whistler,' said he, 'sure's yer born. He ain't wuth a bag o' beans.But don't ye never let on. When ye git licked ye musn't never fin'fault. If anybody asks ye 'bout him tell 'em he's all ye expected.'

  We stood waiting a moment for the horse to recover himself. A team wasnearing us.

  'There's Bob Dean,' Uncle Eb whispered. 'The durn scalawag! Don't ye saya word now.

  'Good-mornin'!' said Dean, smiling as he pulled up beside us.

  'Nice pleasant mornin'!' said Uncle Eb, as he cast a glance into thesky.

  'What ye standin' here for?' Dean asked.

  Uncle Eb expectorated thoughtfully.

  'Jest a lookin' at the scenery,' said he. 'Purty country, right here!AIwus liked it.'

  'Nice lookin' hoss ye got there,' said Dean.

  'Grand hoss!' said Uncle Eb, surveying him proudly. 'Most reemarkablehoss.'

  'Good stepper, too,' said Dean soberly.

  'Splendid!' said Uncle Eb. 'Can go a mile without ketchin' his breath.'

  'Thet so?' said Dean.

  'Good deal like Lucy Purvis,' Uncle Eb added. 'She can say the hullmul'plication table an' only breathe once. Ye can learn sumthin' from ahoss like thet. He's good as a deestric' school--thet hoss is.'

  Yes, sir, thet hoss is all right,' said Dean, as he drove away.

  'Righter'n I expected,' Uncle Eb shouted, and then he covered his mouth,shaking with suppressed laughter.

  'Skunk!' he said, as we turned the animal and started to walk him home.'Don't min' bein' beat, but I don't like t' hev a man rub it in on me.I'll git even with him mebbe.'

  And he did. It came about in this way. We turned our new purchase intothe pasture, and Uncle Eb and I drove away to Potsdam for a betternag. We examined all the horses in that part of the country. At last wechanced upon one that looked like the whistler, save that he had a whitestocking on one hind foot.

  'Same age, too,' said Uncle Eb, as he looked into his mouth.

  'Can pass anything on the road,' said his owner.

  'Can he?' said Uncle Eb, who had no taste for slow going. 'Hitch him upan' le's see what he can do.'

  He carried us faster than we had ever ridden before at a trot, andcoming up behind another team the man pulled out, let the reins loose onhis back, and whistled. If anyone had hit him with a log chain the horsecould not have moved quicker. He took us by the other team like a flash,on the dead run and three in the buggy.

  'He'll do all right,' said Uncle Eb, and paid for the horse.

  It was long after dark when we started home, leading him behind, andnear midnight when we arrived.

  In the morning I found Uncle Eb in the stable showing him to the otherhelp. To my surprise the white stocking had disappeared.

  'Didn't jes' like that white stockin',' he said, as I came in. 'Wonderedhow he'd look without it.'

  They all agreed this horse and the whistler were as much alike as twopeas in appearance. Breakfast over Uncle Eb asked the Irishman to hitchhim up.

  'Come Bill,' said he, 'le's take a ride. Dean'll be comm' 'long bym byeon his way t' town with that trotter o' his'n. 'Druther like to meethim.'

  I had only a faint idea of his purpose. He let the horse step along attop speed going up the road and when we turned about he was breathingheavily. We jogged him back down the road a mile or so, and when Isaw the blazed face of Dean's mare, in the distance, we pulled up andshortly stopped him. Dean came along in a moment.

  'Nice mornin'!' said he.

  'Grand!' said Uncle Eb.

  'Lookin' at the lan'scape ag'in?'

  'Yes; I've jes' begun t' see what a putty country this is,' said UncleEb.

  'How's the boss?'

  'Splendid! Gives ye time t' think an' see what yer passin'. Like t' set'n think once in a while. We don't do enough thinkin' here in this parto' the country.'

  'Yd orter buy this mare an learn how t' ride fast,' said Dean.

  'Thet one,' said Uncle Eb, squinting at the mare, 'why she can't go fast'nough.'

  'She can't, hey?' said Dean, bridling with injured pride. 'I don't thinkthere's anything in this town can head her.'

  'Thunder!' said Uncle Eb, 'I can go by her with this ol' plug easy'twixt here an' our gate. Ye didn't know what ye was sellin'.'

  'If ye pass her once I'll give her to ye,' said he.

  'Mean it?' said Uncle Eb.

  'Sartin,' said he, a little redder in the face.

  'An' if I don't I'll give ye the whistler,' said Uncle Eb as he turnedabout.

  The mare went away, under the whip, before we had fairly started. Shewas going a fifty shot but in a moment we were lapping upon her hindwheel. Dean threw a startled glance over his shoulder. Then he shoutedto the mare. She quickened her pace a little but we kept our position.Uncle Eb was leaning over the dasher his white locks flying. He hadsomething up his sleeve, as they say, and was not yet ready to use it.Then Dean began to shear over to cut us off--a nasty trick of the lowhorseman. I saw Uncle Eb glance at the ditch ahead. I knew what wascoming and took a firm hold of the seat. The ditch was a bit rough, butUncle Eb had no lack of courage. He turned the horse's head, let up onthe reins and whistled. I have never felt such a thrill as then. Ourhorse leaped into the deep grass running like a wild deer.

  'Hi there! hi there!' Uncle Eb shouted, bouncing in his seat, as we wentover stones and hummocks going like the wind.

  'Go, ye brown devil!' he yelled, his hat flying off as he shook thereins.

  The mare lost her stride; we flashed by and came up into the road.Looking back I saw her jumping up and down a long way behind us and Deanwhipping her. Uncle Eb, his hands over the dasher, had pulled down toa trot Ahead of us we could see our folks--men and women--at the gatelooking down the road at us waving hats and handkerchiefs. They hadheard the noise of the battle. Uncle Eb let up on the reins and lookedback snorting with amusement. In a moment we pulled up at our gate. Deancame along slowly.

  'Thet's a putty good mare,' said Uncle Eb.

  'Yer welcome to her,' said Dean sullenly.

  'Wouldn't hev her,' said Uncle Eb.

  'Why not?' s
aid the trader a look of relief coming over his face.

  'Can't go fast enough for my use,' Uncle Eb answered. 'Ye can jest hitchher in here awhile an' the first day ye come over with a hundred dollarsye can hev her 'n the whistler, both on 'em. Thet whistler's a grandhoss! Can hold his breath longer'n any hoss I ever knew!'

  The sum named was that we had paid him for the highly accomplishedanimal. Dean had the manhood to pay up then and there and said he wouldsend for the other horse, which he never did.

  'Guess he won't bother us any more when we stop t' look at the scenery,'said Uncle Eb, laughing as Dean drove away. 'Kind o' resky businessbuyin' hosses,' he added. 'Got t' jedge the owner as well as the hoss.If there's anything the matter with his conscience it'll come out inthe hoss somewhere every time. Never knew a mean man t' own a good hoss.Remember, boy, 's a lame soul thet drives a limpin' hoss.'

  'No use talkin'; Bill ain' no jedge uv a hoss' said David Brower. 'He'llhev t' hev an education er he'll git t' the poorhouse someday sartin.'

  'Wall he's a good jedge o' gals anyway,' said Uncle Eb.

  As for myself I was now hopelessly confirmed in my dislike of farmingand I never traded horses again.