A Witch's Quest

by Leigh Ann Edwards

  She did not look at Danhoul as she spoke, but anxiously picked at the blades of grass unthinkingly as she spoke on of her many woes, and she continued on.

  “Conner still intends to accompany us and be our guide in Scotland. I know it tears at him to leave Mary behind. Yet he is painfully aware that should he think to actually become involved with Mary in any manner other than friendship or if he should aid in intentionally keeping her distanced from Riley, that as chieftain, Riley could most assuredly see Conner imprisoned. Having already suffered many years of imprisonment it is certain he isn’t desirous of returning to prison.”

  “I see you are most fretful about your friends’ predicament, but I sense there is another matter that does not please you this day even beyond your friends and my drinking.”

  “Aye, I’d be hard pressed to find something I am pleased with this day. I am well annoyed with the gods and their insistent toying with our lives, interfering at times, but refusing to assist us when their help would be most beneficial. I despise their unkind trials, their ludicrous and often cruel tests, and Aine has once more spoken of the trite and displeasing topic of me and my eminent journey to the future. I will not leave Killian to do the gods’ bidding, especially not in a quest that would require me to journey to the future.”

  Her tone revealed her distaste in the consideration, and then voice trembled with nervous uncertainty as she broached yet another undesirable topic.

  “Now Aine infers I suffer from an undisclosed condition that the gods may need to address, yet she was exasperatingly secretive and would not elaborate upon it. Do you know what it is she speaks of?”

  Danhoul purposely averted his gaze from her and once more stared off at the distant endless green hills.

  “Is it the cursed blade; do you sense it has left a dark blemish on my soul?” she further questioned when he did not respond to her query.

  This time he turned to face her and he stared so deeply into her eyes she felt he was searching within her soul.

  “Can it be so? With your powers of perception are you entirely blind and unaware of the truth?” Danhoul questioned even though he surely recognized her pain and uncertainty.

  This time she looked away from him and tears brimmed in her eyes. She quickly stood and began to walk away, no longer desirous of further discussion, but he came after her and gently grasped her arm.

  “It is true then, I carry a child?” she asked softly as she looked into his serious eyes.

  He did not reply, but his distress was obvious and he nodded his head.

  “As you say, why with all my abilities was I unaware of it? I have not sensed it to be true, not even for one moment!”

  “Perhaps you wouldn’t allow yourself to believe it was a possibility.”

  “Could it be because of the cursed dagger that I was left unaware I carried a child, or is it that the child has been adversely affected and filled with evil qualities from the dagger and the child’s father’s dark soul?”

  “Both, I suspect,” he admitted, and she knew he was equally relieved and saddened she was aware she didn’t carry Killian’s child.

  Alainn placed her hand to her belly and closed her eyes in an attempt to sense the child within her. When she opened her eyes she saw Danhoul stared at her with both unhidden guilt and accusation on his face. She stared back at him and waited for him to speak for he seemed to have much on his mind.

  “You lay with the feckin’ king of England; you shared his bed to save our bloody lives,” he charged, and he spoke the words as though uttering them wounded him to the core.

  Alainn had never ever heard Danhoul cuss or use any manner of foul language before, and she saw the unmistakable fury in his eyes as well.

  “No bed was involved, nor nothing that required a supine position, I assure you,” she flippantly snipped.

  “You allowed him to have you to save us.”

  Alainn held her head high in the air and her nostrils flared.

  “I previously was to blame for the death of my own precious child to save Killian’s life. Do you suppose it was such a drastic consideration to simply have a man ‘shag’ me to save Lily?”

  “To save Lily, what do you mean by that?”

  “When the demon brought Ciara to the king, but by my spell I caused her to appear displeasing, soon after Lily, who had apparently followed Conner, was captured and brought before the king. The demon seemed insistent on the king having Lily, to what end I am uncertain, perhaps only to cause grief for me. I couldn’t see her harmed when she was already in such a fragile state after being violated by the lot of despicable men when she was only a child. I couldn’t employ my powers for I’d already called upon my magic the night before in order to spend time with Killian, and the demon seemed to have created a spell to ensure that was not a possibility. I knew it was imperative I think quickly and act even quicker....and so it happened.”

  “You allowed the king to have you to save Lily?” Though not pleased with the notion, he seemed almost relieved.

  “Aye, I would do it again if I had no other recourse.”

  “It wasn’t to save Killian and me from the block?”

  “You have been filling yourself with drink to sate your guilt because you have known all this time he had me, and you thought it was to save you?” she assessed. “Do not be unduly fretful in that regard, Danhoul. Lily would have been violated and Conner would have remained imprisoned till the end of his days, and sure you and Killian as well.”

  “But it must have been a great injustice to you, Alainn to have endured it?”

  “At first I hoped to simply ignore the entire repulsive happening, to think only of the outcome, of being back home in Ireland, but I wasn’t successful. As the king moved behind me, in order to endure it, I thought of a much less favorable possibility...a more perilous outcome. The entire time it was happening I dared to think of how Lily would have reacted if it had been done to her, if the king had roughly pushed her against a table and lifted her skirts” Her voice cracked and she paused for but a moment before she spoke on.

  “Next, I allowed myself to think of Conner being brutally beaten to death and then Killian kneeling before the block with the executioner’s blade above him. I actually went so far as to envision his head being crudely severed with many unsuccessful blows. I imagined the tragically horrific scene in all its nearly unimaginable blood and gore, even the thud of his head hitting the ground, and of it rolling. And then I did the same with you.”

  She inhaled deeply and whispered, “So in comparison bein’ momentarily violated by a slathering, obese, unpleasant man who happens to be the king of England did not seem an unbearable hardship that I could not endure.”

  Danhoul had dropped the jug he’d been holding and they both listened as the whiskey gurgled as it spilled from the opening. She saw he grasped for words of comfort, but could find none that would suffice.

  “Do not make light of it, Alainn. It was unforgivable.”

  They stood in silence which soon became awkward for both of them.

  “I place no blame on you, Danhoul, and you should take no accountability for it. It was my decision, for I felt no other option at the time. I could not see Lily harmed,” she finally managed.

  “Aye, I damn well take the blame, well part of it at the very least. Although it was Killian who insisted on taking you to England, I possess the gifts of foresight and magic and neither one of us could protect you from the lewd and deplorable king.

  “We were to be your guardians, not only could we not protect you from that despicable man, he defiled you with only the promise of not touching Lily and that he would save our necks. It fills me with deep shame to know it’s the truth, that you needed to resort to allowing him to have you.”

  She looked at him with seriousness and spoke further.

  “You were both imprisoned within the damnable tower, there was truly no way you could have prevented it. I know well magic is often unreliable and inconsistent,
and it wasn’t as though three people suddenly disappearing wouldn’t have gone without notice or harsh consequence. Three people from Ireland. Sure he would have sent an army to our shores to search for us. But I assure you it was to protect Lily that I allowed him to ‘shag’ me!”

  She knew she was being reasonable and sensible, but she saw by both Danhoul’s pallid complexion, guilty expression, and in hearing his thoughts, he continued to hold himself much accountable.

  “The other times that we have lived this life, did this unpleasantness with the king take place then as well?” She had mostly been unwilling to discuss the topic of re-living this life, for it caused her much uneasiness, but now she seemed to need to know.

  “No, I don’t believe you were ever near the infamous king before, admittedly I do not recall every memory either. Yet with what I do remember, each time we relive this life we meet with more malaise and tragedy, and often times it is you, Alainn who sees the most heartache. Although in truth there have been many times when one or all of us have been killed...no matter the different circumstances. This has caused the gods in their supposed combined wisdom to endeavor to change the outcome by forcing us to live it over and over again.”

  “And we are helpless to simply allow it to be so?” Alainn sought to understand.

  “Not entirely at their mercy, but aye, they do seem much in control.”

  Alainn did not reply, but seemed to be considering all that they had discussed. Although there was certainly reluctance to know what lie ahead for them, Alainn was also filled with curiosity about a good many subjects.

  “And is there no debauchery and abuse, no violence toward women in the future then, Danhoul?” she questioned in a voice lacking emotion.

  He lowered his eyes and spoke in a defeated tone.

  “Unfortunately, it exists there as well, and it happens much too often.”

  “Well I suspect always there will be those who force perversity on women simply because they are either physically stronger or hold some power over them. No one can be a protector at all times and everyone encounters unpleasantness in their life.” She downplayed her experience.

  “But I failed to protect you twice, Alainn for I could not prevent the king’s disreputable actions or the cursed blade from harming you. Now you carry the child of a man with little conscience, and the child is destined to be filled with unimaginable evil from the cursed blade.”

  Alainn’s face grew unnaturally pale at that bleak revelation and dawning awareness.

  “I fear that is why I was unable to sense the child’s presence within me. If he is to be so inherently evil, the demon will surely want him, and therefore he is somehow protected from harm by the demon. He most certainly knew that if I suspected I carried a child with that level of evil within him, I would be certain to take the herbs and remedies to rid myself of the abhorrence.”

  “It is what I believe as well,” Danhoul admitted.

  “If I’d known earlier, if I’d been aware sooner, sure the possibly of ending the time with child would have been easier managed.”

  “But perhaps that was the demon’s intention from the beginning that I carry this child. Perhaps he initially would have had Ciara carry the child for she does possess dark magic.”

  “Perhaps but was it then his intention to threaten to have the king violate Lily knowing you would suffer the indecency to prevent Lily being defiled? Was it his intent you carry a child?”

  “Aye, for sure he wouldn’t have wanted Lily to carry the king’s child when she possesses no magical abilities.”

  “But if she were impregnated by the king and then suffered the cursed blade then sure the child would have some dark abilities, and Lily in her fragile state would simply be a vessel to carry the child, for she wouldn’t have offered any resistance to the demon or to Odhran, but gone wherever they’d taken her.”

  “Then I shall simply be relieved it is not Lily who carries this evil within her.” She sighed and meant every word. “But we must find a way to see it terminated.”

  Danhoul knew how difficult this entire discussion must be for Alainn for he sensed how greatly she wanted to become a mother and how her heart still grieved in losing her wee son. He knew how she ached to hold a child in her arms even now.

  He also was well aware she was never entirely in favor of anyone ending a time with child, for she believed there was most certainly an intended purpose for every child ever conceived. She had come to understand the reasoning and that sometimes it was the best course for the mother and perhaps at times even for the child, and yet he realized how sometimes long after the potent herbs had been delivered to the women and the unborn child had long since been expelled from the womb, Alainn often dwelled on what the babe might have become or accomplished in their life. Danhoul saw she remained awaiting his response.

  “It was apparently hoped the many abilities you possess, the abundant magical powers you claim and your natural goodness would simply diminish the evil from within the child and that it would eventually grow to be filled with white magic and innocent purity. It was thought perhaps your good countenance and benevolent soul would overtake the evil, but now it is feared the cursed dagger weakened that ability and strengthened the child. Now it is assumed because the poison from the cursed dagger entered the fetus when it was being formed, the demon has now found a way to offer a powerful protection to the child as it develops.”

  Alainn continued to grow paler still as they spoke and her hand often went to her belly, but then she would pull it away as though she were being burned by the sensation and the knowledge that such level of evil was growing within her.

  “The gods fear that should this child be carried to term and be allowed to be born, should it inherit even a portion of your great magical powers, the darkness of the father and the evil of the cursed blade, then possibly we will all be in peril. If the battle between good and evil takes place when he grows to be a man and in allegiance with the powers of the dark side, then the battle will surely be lost and the world may cease to exist.”

  “You must assist me in seeing my time with child ended, Danhoul, and Killian must never ever learn of this. Not ever,” she avowed and he saw her eyes held much certainty in what must be done.

  “Aye, the sooner it is attended to, the better it will be for you, Alainn.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Because they would need to make the lengthy journey northward to Larne where they would take a ship and cross to Scotland, Alainn packed lightly, only a few unadorned gowns. Conner had explained the journey through Scotland would surely be difficult and they may need to spend much time on horseback or on foot.

  Alainn adored riding so that consideration was not a hardship to her, although she bore some reluctance knowing how queasy her stomach had become since she had begun ingesting the herbal concoctions she had created in hopes of expelling the evil that grew within her. She had hoped to distance her thoughts from the dark cloud that overtook her whenever she dwelled on the malevolent child she carried. She intended to simply dwell on the task at hand, their quest in locating her father, but with every movement she felt the nausea overtake her and the knowledge of the vileness within her creep into her thoughts and linger unpleasantly.

  Since they would be leaving on the morrow at dawn’s first light, Alainn had said her farewells to Diadra and Shylie assuring them both she would be cautious on her journey and during their time in Scotland. Diadra wished her well and said she believed Alainn would find her father and then whatever hardships she might need to endure on the path to finding him would surely be worth the effort. Because Diadra even as a spirit maintained the gift of foresight, their conversation had left her feeling ominous.

  Although Alainn had been reasonably certain Diadra knew of the evil child she carried within her, she did mention it, and of that Alainn was most grateful.

  Alainn had also gone to the kitchen to speak to Lily and to Cookson. She smiled at the two of them as she recogniz
ed lately they only had eyes for one another. She also noted how frequently they touched one another as they worked in the kitchen together. Alainn recognized this new fond closeness and intimacy and knew since they’d become betrothed, they had also become lovers.

  Alainn wasn’t confident Maisie would have discussed such personal matters with her young daughter especially since she had been brutally attacked when she was a young girl. Alainn did not wish to act the part of a mother and scold or berate the girl for not waiting till the wedding to begin the intimate relations which would have of course been entirely hypocritical for she and Killian had been lovers long before they’d exchanged their vows. Alainn was truly pleased for both of them. She was delighted that they had found happiness, and that Lily was obviously deriving pleasure from the physical relationship with Cookson. She knew that was often not the way of it when a woman was raped especially at such a young age. Often the dark memories and deep scars made it impossible to share a healthy intimacy with a man no matter how much time had passed since the violence occurred. She knew Lily was an intelligent young woman, but also knew many women knew very little regarding intimacy. She’d known several women who did not know what to expect on their wedding night and even those already married who hadn’t actually known how they had become with child.