Fae Song EPUB

by Williams , Deonne

  They hooked her arms and began walking while Gwynn’s protests fell on two sets of deaf ears. She found herself being marched smartly into the palace and up to their rooms, the hem of Shae’s cote dragging the ground behind her. Lesia was waiting with a covered tray that smelled wonderful, and her stomach rumbled, reminding her how long it had been since she had eaten.

  “Sit,” Shae ordered, pulling the damp cote from her shoulders before pushing her into one of the chairs in front of the fire.

  “But—” Gwynn began.

  “Quiet,” Darion commanded, covering her legs with a blanket.

  “I—” she tried again.

  “Drink,” Shae cut her off, putting a steaming mug of mulled wine into Gwynn’s hands.

  “Damn it, I just want to take off my boots!” The words were snarled at them when Gwynn slammed her mug down on the table. “Stop acting like a pair of mother hens!”

  “My, aren’t you the fierce little creature?” Darion laughed, tousling Gwynn’s hair. She threw his hand off with a toss of her head and hurled the blanket to the floor while she reached for her boots.

  Shae’s left eyebrow rose ominously at his friend, but 229

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  the twitch in his cheek betrayed the grin he was struggling to control. “Sheath your claws, kitten,” he growled affectionately. “We are just trying to make you take care of yourself.”

  She glared at Shae for a moment while she finished kicking off her boots but relented when his words struck home. “I’m acting like a spoiled brat. I’m sorry. I just don’t like being fussed over when I feel that I should be doing the same for my father. While I honor the Ard Rhian’s wisdom greatly, Darion, I am not certain I understand what your mother was trying to tell me.”

  Darion came around Gwynn’s chair and faced her, brushing back a few stray strands of her hair. “Nothing can be solved in an instant and worrying while not taking care of yourself will not help at al . My beloved mother often converses half in riddles to all of us. I will speak with her and see if I can better understand her meaning. Now, behave, listen to Shae, and do what he tells you. Of everyone in the world, both yours and mine, he is the one with your interests most truly at heart.”

  Shae saw him out while Lesia put dinner in front of Gwynn, Darion facing him when Shae opened the door. “It has been my experience that those mortals blessed with remarkable gifts are either destined for greatness or tragedy, sometimes both. Since the night I found Gwynn as a grieving child in the hills of Inishmore, I have both hoped and feared where fitan would lead her. Gwynn has a generous heart, a wit often too fast for her own good, and the tendency to act or speak long before she thinks. I would change none of these things if offered the choice, but I have often feared where those qualities may lead her. I have great affection for her, but what I am prevents it from ever being more. I rejoice that fitan seems to have brought her someone who can protect her from the worst consequences of her actions 230

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  while allowing the best of her qualities to flourish.” Darion’s

  golden eyes sought Shae’s. “Would you look after her for me, not just to Samhayne, but wherever life carries her?”

  His question caught Shae off guard, but he realized it closely matched the thoughts that had been roiling about in his mind since they had come to Heralith. His smile caught Darion by surprise. He had seen Shae’s sardonic grins before, but his smile was dazzling. It lit up his face and turned Gwynn’s stoic cynical companion into a warrior of fierce splendor.

  Shae’s voice was fervent when he answered. “There is no need to ask that of me. I was long ago sworn to the path of a Lifeguard. I have yet to tell her or offer her a Lifeguard’s vow, but it does not change what I know to be right in my heart. No harm shall come to Gwynn as long as there is breath within me; you have my oath on it.” His words were not spoken loudly. Even a bard’s keen ears would not have heard them over the crackle of the fire, but they rang in the space between them.

  Esteem and a peculiar wistfulness showed in Darion’s face. “I thank you for your words and your oath; I leave Gwynn in your care.” He left without another word, closing the door silently behind him. Shae was puzzled by his abrupt leave-taking until he remembered Darion saying he had great affection for Gwynn. He felt a sudden pity for him . A Pathani’s love for a mortal woman, even one like Gwynn, could never be described as anything other than doomed.

  Lesia summoned Shae to the fireside then, insisting that he too needed to take care of himself, putting a mug of warm wine in his hand and a steaming bowl of stew beside him. After they finished, Lesia withdrew, leaving them alone in the firelight with another pitcher of mulled wine.

  Gwynn was tired, but her mind would not slow down; question after question ran through her head. Finally, she 231

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  brought out her Harp and began to play, hoping the music would soothe her. She placed al her trust in the Harp, letting it take control of her fingers. She began to play a tune that had a haunting familiarity to it. She always remembered the names of songs. Why did this tune evade her?

  Gwynn’s eyes grew lighter and darker while music filled the room. She knew this song. She did remember it, and she had heard it many times if only she could remember where. She repeated the intricate themes over and over but could not find a way to end it. Why in the Mother’s name can I not remember the end?

  A deep melodic voice whispered through her mind in the ancient language of the Pathani. “The end has not yet been written.” Wonder stilled Gwynn’s fingers, and the music came to an abrupt halt.

  “There is only one kind of song for which the end has not yet been written.” She wasn’t sure if she spoke aloud, but a clear reply came back.

  “Yes, and what kind of song is that? ”

  This time, Gwynn did speak out loud. “A life song!

  That is the only song that has no end and will remain without one until life ceases.” She hugged her Harp close, whispering against the dragon’s head, “Thank you for your wisdom, friend.” She turned a brilliant smile on Shae. “It is so simple!

  Why did I not think of it before?”

  “I have no idea what you just said, although I suspect you were using Pathani.”

  “You are right; I’m sorry.” There was so much happiness in Gwynn’s voice. Even in the common tongue, it still sounded like music. “The song I was playing; did you like it?”

  “Well, yes.” Shae was bewildered. “It seemed to move in many directions.”

  “Of course, it did; it was a life song. It is my father’s 232

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  life song, and my Harp thinks it is the key to bringing him back to us.”

  “I’m sure you will find the way, Gwynn. I know how much you love your father,” he said quietly. “I think I have known it since I heard you speak of him to Corwyn in Mazlo.

  In your heart, you have always believed you would find him, no matter what common sense told you.”

  “You know my opinions on common sense; that’s—

  ”

  “What you have me for,” he finished.

  “Precisely!” She put down her Harp and walked restlessly over to the terrace doors, peering out into the dark garden. “I thought that playing for a bit would help settle me, but it did just the opposite. I think my mind is busier now than it was before. I hate being tired and knowing rest is not possible any time soon.”

  “That is where I find myself too. I did promise you we would discuss some things while we were still with the Aeldive. Perhaps, now would be best, as neither of us is ready for sleep.”

  While Gwynn dreaded what was coming, she hated the rift that had nearly opened between them. She refilled both of their mugs before curling back into her chair by the fire. “Do you think there is anything I can tell you that will make you feel better?”

  “I’m not sure. I suppose you could start by telling me what it means to be perfect.”

  “I don’t know th
at you are,” Gwynn said thoughtfully.

  “When a child is born into the world, in most ways, they are perfect. They have no scars, physically or mentally, but as time and experience influence them, those things change.

  Skinned knees, broken bones, broken hearts, all those things take away from someone’s perfection. Suffering injustice and the loss of loved ones leave scars on a person. The process 233

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  of just living makes us a little less perfect every day. If you see it as a second beginning, rather than perfection, I think you will be more accurate.”

  “So eventually, I will become less perfect, just by living. Strangely, I can accept that more easily. Although,”

  Shae grinned mockingly, “I was kind of getting used to the idea of being perfect. I thought it might offer some advantage in my profession.”

  “I don’t know what the long-range effects of my healing may have brought you. Some things may not change.

  I knew I had saved your life, and I did it the only way I could.

  I am deeply sorry if it has upset or hurt you in any way. I don’t want you to be angry with me, although I know you have every right to be.” Gwynn’s eyes sparkled with defiance. “Now, even though I know more about what I did, I would do it again without a moment’s thought. I am glad I could heal you; you are the best friend I have ever known. I believe the world is a much better place with you in it.”

  Gwynn’s belief in his worth completed the final redemption of Shae’s heart. “I can say the same of you, Gwynn. You give a part of yourself and your gifts to everyone you meet. You have given things back to me that I believed had been forever lost, things that were once more important to me than life itself. Remember when I told you how I came to be in Hasdran in the service of the royal family? There is more to it than the simple version I gave you.” Shae took a deep drink of mulled wine and continued.

  “Little one, do you know what a Lifeguard is?”

  “Yes, of course, I do! Lifeguards are the most famous of all Southrons. There are tales and songs about them stretching back for hundreds of years.”

  “I long ago swore to walk the path of a Lifeguard, and I went to Hasdran. I became the oath bound Lifeguard of the Princess Rashelle.” She gasped, but before she could say 234

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  anything else, Shae plunged on with his story. He told Gwynn about how he and Laef had wanted to be Lifeguards from when they understood what it meant and about the rigorous training they had endured in pursuit of their goal, along with their friend Shelah. How Lifeguards usually sacrificed everything when they took an oath and that when Kane had recruited them as a group to come to Hasdran, how thrilled they had been that they could remain together while still pursuing their dreams. She listened in fascination to how each of them had ended up with the “wrong” charge, much to Kane’s chagrin.

  When he told her of Rashelle’s illness and death, Gwynn wept unashamedly for both. The black grief in Shae’s face was one of the most appalling things she had ever witnessed. The complete lack of expression in his voice while he described the final hours of Rashelle’s life told her the enormity of his loss. It was the voice of someone who had experienced something so sorrowful it had nearly shattered his soul.

  “The worst part was that her illness was not something I could defend her against. If I could have stood between her and an attacker, using every bit of myself to preserve her life, that would have been different, even if I had died trying. Losing Rashelle to something I could not fight…gods!” Shae slammed his fist onto the table, his eyes shadowed at the memory. “Even now, it haunts me. There were moments in Hasdran when I would find myself doubting my vocation as a Lifeguard. Rayna and Kane’s bond, I can’t begin to describe. There were times they seemed to share a single mind. I could see that unfolding for Laef and Shelah with their charges. Rashelle and I were never like that. I could not find that level of affinity with her. I began to believe it meant I should not be a Lifeguard, the only thing I had ever wanted for myself.” Shae left his chair 235

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  and knelt next to her, taking her hands in his. “What I find strange is that I know better now. Will you accept my oath as your Lifeguard?”

  It took her a moment to find her voice. She was overwhelmed by his words; there were few whom a Lifeguard found worthy of offering their oath. However, for once, Gwynn tried to be practical. “I could imagine nothing I would love more than to know I would always have you at my side. You are my best friend. When you’re not around, I feel like half of me is lost.”

  “That is exactly as it should be.”

  She could not meet his eyes while she continued. “I just don’t believe I can accept your generous offer. I-” Her voice trailed off.

  “What?” The thought that she would not accept his oath had never occurred to Shae, and his eyes began to flare dangerously. “Why?”

  Gwynn squirmed in her chair, trying to wrest her hands from Shae’s iron grasp while her cheeks flushed in mortification. “Do you really think I can afford the services of a Lifeguard? I know what that means, and I know what the costs are to both the Lifeguard and their charge. I’m not wealthy or highborn; I’m just a bard who follows the road.

  In my whole life, I will never earn enough to pay your wergild, let alone pay you what you are truly worth. No wonder you said I was insulting you in Rathgarven when we negotiated your contract.”

  “Harkir’s Forge, bards always do what you least expect!” Shae laughed. His sense of irony touched at Gwynn’s reason for the refusal of his oath. “Little one, I have already received a Lifeguard’s wergild. What would I do with another? Truth be told, I’m probably wealthier than you will ever be. I promise this Lifeguard is one you can afford. Now, what say you to my offer?”

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  “Yes please! I was already dreading the moment that I would have to say goodbye to you when we reached Samhayne. This way, I get to keep you forever!” The glow of happiness in Gwynn’s face made her more beautiful than Shae had ever seen her.

  “More than forever.” He tightened his grip on Gwynn’s hands. Shae’s next words were in Southron, and Gwynn felt the power in them created by generations of Lifeguards swearing their life to the preservation of another.

  “Gwynn ferch Gryffyn of Inishmore, I, Shae, Brashaen’s son, offer unto you the service of my blade, the strength of my arm, and the resource of my wit until death comes for me or the world ends. By my own oath, I offer my life for yours.”

  Gwynn answered back in the same tongue, grateful that her bard’s memory supplied the formal response without prompting. “I, Gwynn ferch Gryffyn, accept your oath, Shae, Brashaen’s son. May I always be worthy of it and your gifts.

  So shall we be bound, until death comes for us or the world ends.”

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  The sun had barely cleared the horizon when Gwynn slipped silently through the marbled halls in search of her father, the whispers of his life song guiding her to his side.

  Shae was on her left. The early light caught the silver vambraces on his forearms, making bright spots of light bounce off the wal s. A door carved with an elegant representation of a fëanulia tree drew her. She knocked once, and Syrus opened the door, beckoning them inside. “Good morning, Tiarna,” he said in a low voice.

  She returned his greeting absently, her eyes seeking her father. Gryffyn sat in a finely carved chair in front of a window and stared at the garden with the remains of a meal beside him on a low table. “He has eaten?”

  “Yes, I had only to ask him. He did not seem to care what he consumed, but he did eat. He also lay down in bed last night when asked, but he did not appear to sleep.”

  “Thank you, Syrus.” Her voice was warm with appreciation for his care of her father. “I am sure you did not sleep either. Please, seek some rest; I will look after my father.” Syrus accepted Gwynn’s offer with a smile, leaving them. Pulling another cha
ir near him, Gwynn sat across from her father. “Oh Da,” she sighed, “how shall we bring you home?” She cupped her hand around the curve of his cheek and, at her touch, Gryffyn’s eyes focused on her for a moment. A soft light flickered in his gaze while something 238

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  close to a smile ran across his face and then faded. Gwynn caught her breath in pure joy; there was the man she recognized! “Did you see that?”

  “I did. What are you planning? You said you had an idea last night, but you said little more.”

  “Remember how I explained a life song?”

  “Aye.”

  “When I listen to my father’s life song, I can barely hear it. Not because it’s fading like yours that night, but it seems muffled, as if I am hearing it from a great distance. I believe Aere’s magic is powerful enough to somehow contain a life song to the extent that only enough of it remains to keep her collection in thrall; they have enough of a life song to live, but not enough to command their own will. I believe, if I can make his song return to its natural volume, he will be himself again. At least that is what I must hope. He told me once that hope and love are the strongest things in the world; they are mightier than war, plague, disaster, or hate. That is what I am depending on to make this right, hope and love, mine for him and his for me.”

  “He sounds like a man of insight. I hope to know him as himself soon enough. I am certain that if anyone can do it, you can. You like defeat no more than I do. Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “I don’t believe so, but you will be the first to know if I need you.” Gwynn lifted her Harp and tuned it by rote, far away before she finished the tuning chords; her father’s life song was so familiar to her that the notes found their way from the strings without thought. The question was how to bring it from a whisper to a reverberating refrain once more.