The OP MC

by Logan Jacobs

  Did this world have shrinks? I might need to find one that would believe all the bullshit I had been through.

  I let myself stare at the dark-haired goddess for another moment or two before I turned and led the way down the passage. I didn’t even bother looking at the map this time since I knew the left room was blocked off. I was more concerned about the pit trap and figuring out how the hell we were going to get past it.

  “There should be a room here,” Mahini muttered from behind me.

  “It’s blocked,” I said without turning around. “Don’t worry about it.”

  There was a brief pause followed by what I assumed was Mahini digging at the wall. “What? How did you...? You didn’t even stop to look.”

  “I’m a god,” I said with a shrug. “I keep reminding you.”

  “Of course,” she sighed. “Sorry, Great One. It is hard to get used to.”

  “You haven’t run into many walking gods?” I snickered.

  “I’ve heard rumors of men and women who claim they are divine, and some even manage to create cults around themselves, but their reigns never last long. They are mostly charlatans.”

  “I’m the real deal,” I laughed softly.

  “I know, Great One,” the dark-haired beauty whispered. “I have seen you do the impossible. I believe you.”

  The pitfall trap was only a few feet from one of the ceiling supports, and I spotted the silvery string running the width of the tunnel when it caught the light of Mahini’s torch.

  “There you are, you little bastard,” I growled at the string, and I swung my sword down to cleave the trip-wire in two.

  The string snapped with a low twang that echoed in the tunnel. Mahini gasped behind me and came up to my side.

  “What was--” she began.

  I placed a finger to my lips and placed my right foot on the false floor. I leaned back so that nearly all of my weight was in my other leg and very carefully started applying pressure. The floor was springing underfoot, and after barely putting any weight on it, the whole thing collapsed. I stumbled slightly, but Mahini grabbed me because she thought I was about to fall.

  “How did you…” she breathed.

  “I love seeing the surprise on your beautiful face,” I snickered as I moved to reveal more of the pit. “Let’s see what we have to work with here...”

  I’d already seen part of the trap, but now that I wasn’t fixated on Mahini’s broken body, I could see that there was a gaping hole in the floor that spanned the width of the tunnel and extended about six feet across. It was about ten or eleven feet deep, and the spikes at the bottom were as thick as my legs, and about two feet long.

  “That could have killed us,” the raven-haired beauty said. “It’s lucky you saw the wire.”

  Luck had nothing to do with it.

  “We’re gonna have to jump it,” I said as I sheathed my sword. “Unless we want to spend the next three days digging through that other cave-in, it’s the only way to the big bad boss.”

  I retreated back down the passage a few yards before I turned and faced the pit once more. After giving my muscles a little shake, I sprinted for the gap. My stomach sank like a rock in the water when I made the leap, and I held my breath until I felt solid ground beneath me again.

  “Toss me the torch!” I called over to Mahini.

  The flaming stick soared through the air perfectly, and I caught it easily. The warrior woman drew back until she was a dark figure just outside of the torchlight, and I knew she was getting ready for her leap.

  Giggling pierced the silence, and when I whirled around to check the passage, I found three goblins waiting for me.

  They actually seemed just as surprised to see me as I was to see them, so I was able to drop the torch and draw my sword just in time to block a spear thrust at my face.

  “We’ve got company!” I roared as I kicked at the goblin coming in on my right and dropped the torch.

  The spear-goblin cackled and drew back its weapon. The other two surged into the newly-made gap and swung their shortswords at me at the same time. The spear-goblin made another thrust at my face over the heads of its companions.

  I lifted my left arm to catch one of the daggers on my vambrace while I deflected the second dagger with my sword. Then I dropped to one knee to avoid the spear and threw all of my weight into my left arm. When the goblin staggered back, I drew my dagger and plunged the blade into the creature’s thigh. It screamed, and I swung my sword at the spear-goblin, but the little bastard leaped back and out of my range.

  The clashing sound of metal on metal rang out to my right, and I glanced over as Mahini blocked an attack from the other dagger-goblin. She had that under control, so I turned my focus back to my two enemies.

  I yanked my dagger free from the dagger-goblin and silenced its pained cries by plunging the blade through its eye. Black ooze sprayed the tunnel and stained the armor covering my arm. I parried another spear thrust with my sword and cut the goblin’s left hand off with my dagger. It dropped the spear and gasped, so I picked up the crusty weapon and turned the weapon on its master. The goblin’s cries dropped to a gurgle when the spear filled its throat.

  Fuck yeah. I was becoming a total badass.

  The warrior woman’s battle was already over, and she was cleaning her blade on the goblin she had just killed. Clumps of ooze slid off nicely, but the sword was still stained with dark blood.

  “Just think how satisfying it’ll be to shine it back up again,” I said as the raven-haired woman made a disgusted face.

  Mahini made no comment as she retrieved the torch from the ground. The thing was still burning happily, so at least we didn’t have to leap across the pit again. The warrior woman lit the torches on the walls nearby and then gestured for me to lead the way.

  The tunnel twisted and turned like a snake. I checked the map whenever Mahini paused to light the wall torches, and when we finally came to it, I created a new save point.

  “Which way should we go?” I asked Mahini as I looked down each path. The rooms were about the same size on the map, so I imagined they would hold the same number of enemies if any. “I don’t have a preference.”

  The warrior woman stared down each path for a few minutes before jerking her head toward the left. “This one first.”

  I wondered what her reason was, but she turned and headed down the tunnel before I could ask. I shrugged, tightened my grip on my two blades, and then trotted after her.

  The torchlight danced on the walls as we continued along the curving path, and I could see hints of greenish flecks once in a while. It must have been what was left of the waves of copper Mahini had mentioned before. The jagged edges of the rocks in the wall told the mine’s history, and I had to wonder just how many years the mine had been in production. How long did it take to carve out this much rock with just an iron pick? It must have taken dozens of years to get as far in as we stood.

  Shuffling ahead pulled me from my thoughts, and Mahini placed a finger to her lips when I caught her eye. She poked her head around the bend only to yank it back a second later. A rock exploded against the wall right where her face had been, and the impact was followed by the cackling of goblins.

  These little fuckers were going to start throwing rocks now?

  “Isn’t it way past your bedtimes?” I taunted the little beasts, and another rock sailed into the wall. “I think someone needs a time-out!”

  I raced around the corner and ducked as another rock came sailing at me. It smashed against the wall, and I was able to angle toward the group of eight smaller goblins. They were clustered together at the far end of the room with a small pile of rocks at their feet. Only the two closest to the tunnel had their weapons drawn, and these two surged forward to meet me in the middle of the room.

  One of the daggers clashed with my sword, and the other smashed against the armor of my left leg. I growled as the metal pinched against my thigh. The armor had held up in the battles so far, but it could onl
y take so much abuse. I threw all of my weight against my sword, and the goblin staggered back.

  The two goblins bellowed at me and sprang forward once again. Their timing was bad, and as I blocked the one on the left, a large rock smashed the head of the one on the right. The rock didn’t kill the goblin, and as it swayed on the spot, I shoved my dagger into its neck.

  I finished off the other goblin with a sword to the gut, and as the black ooze splashed around my feet, I charged at the rock throwers. Mahini was already hacking and slashing at them, and she narrowly dodged a rock hurled in her direction right before I pounced on the thrower and slashed my sword across its face.

  The next goblin picked up a rock, but instead of throwing it, he smashed it against the armor of my right shoulder. The impact dented the metal and caused me to drop my sword.

  “Asshole!” I snarled in pain and drove my dagger up through the roof of its mouth, and I got an oozy shower as a reward.

  Mahini killed the last of the goblins with a slice across its stomach before making her way over to me.

  “The little shit caved in my shoulder,” I growled as I glared at the dent in my armor.

  I wasn’t about to let that be the attempt I saved over.

  Chime.

  “We are going this way. Careful, they are throwing rocks and shit.” I marched down the path to the left room, and made sure to duck when the first rock was hurled in my direction. Mahini let out a little gasp from behind me, but I was already charging into the group of rock-throwing fuckers. The two with weapons drawn fell quickly enough, and when the little bastard picked up the rock to bash my shoulder guard, I sliced his hand off with my sword. The way his hand spiraled through the air spraying blood all over the place was morbidly satisfying.

  The group didn’t stand a chance, and I created a new save point before I returned the dropped torch to Mahini.

  “Easy, right?” I asked my warrior woman.

  “Yes…” she said as she glanced at the group of goblins I’d killed before she could really even walk into the room.

  “On to the next battle.” I grabbed my sword, and we headed out of the room once more.

  Only to be met with another group of goblins at the intersection.

  There were six little bastards standing in a line with two more standing behind them. These two sneered when they saw us, and the one on the right lifted a sword that looked like it was coated in some kind of green slime. The other lifted a long pale rod that made the air crackle when it was swung.

  Great. More shamans.

  “Bring it on!” I shouted as I rushed the line.

  The first goblin fell easily to my sword, and its blood coated the next beast in the line. I stopped its attack with my sword and drove my dagger through its face. I then turned to the shaman with the slimy green sword and swung my own sword at it. The beast dodged and swung at me, and when I blocked with my dagger, my blade started to disintegrate.

  “What the--” I exclaimed and dropped my dagger in alarm as the whole thing started smoking. “This guy has some kind of acid bullshit on his blade!”

  I don’t know if the acid-goblin could understand me, but its sneer got even wider when I shouted at Mahini. It swung its sword at me, and I shuffled backward to avoid the attack. Blocking would result in a melted blade, so how the fuck was I supposed to kill it?

  A ball of ice smashed into my left arm, and when I looked down in surprise, the acid-sword sliced across my right thigh. The armor melted as quickly as the dagger had, and the searing pain of the acid started eating away at my flesh and muscle.

  Well, fuck.

  Chime.

  “This is gonna be a bitch,” I said to Mahini before handing her the dropped torch again.

  “A bitch?” Mahini echoed with a puzzled look.

  “We’ve got company waiting for us back there,” I told her as I pointed to the exit. “Another one of those ice-shamans, and one that has some kind of acid magic or something.”

  “But how--” The desert warrior cut herself off. “You’re a god. Right.”

  “Now you are getting it.” I grinned before I led the way to the intersection where our new friends were waiting to meet us.

  It took us more attempts than the two rooms on the left half of the mine combined. The two shamans worked very well together with the ice bastard hurling his snowballs from a distance and the acid guy melting everything his sword touched. Even when we managed to whittle the room down to just the two shamans, it only made the battle more difficult. The ice guy would just freeze us if we got too close, and the acid guy would disarm us by melting our blades.

  If I could somehow get the ice guy to freeze his acid buddy, that might turn the battle in our favor. But since the acid could melt metal, what was to say it couldn’t melt ice as well? There was only one way to find out, but getting the bastards to do what I wanted was tricky.

  The first time I tried it got me far too close to the acid guy and his blade melted through my armor like it was made of butter.

  Chime.

  The second time one of the little goblins got in the line of fire instead, and the acid guy slipped up behind me when my back was turned.

  Chime.

  The third time Mahini had killed the ice guy because I had forgotten to tell her about my plan. Whoops.

  Chime.

  Seven more attempts, and we had made some progress. It always came down to the acid guy in the end, and when he was disarmed, he got his hands on Mahini. I thought his weapon was the source of his magic, but it turned out he could summon the acid wherever he needed, and her shrieks of agony were probably going to haunt my dreams from then on.

  Chime.

  “Okay, there are two shamans in here,” I told Mahini for the hundredth time. Her brow furrowed, but she didn’t question how I knew, and I went on. “The guy on the right can use acid, and the one on the left is another ice guy. We need to get the ice guy to freeze the acid guy.”

  “Is it just the shamans?” she asked.

  “Six little guys, too,” I replied. “I’m going to deal with the two shamans, so I need you to take care of the little guys for me. Move to the right of me. If you get the one with the weird eye to stand on the left of the one with the underbite, they’ll take care of each other for you. Once they are dead, move behind me and then cover my left flank. The ice shaman is going to toss a globe at you, so you’ll need to roll back behind me and then spring back up and jump back to my left side.”

  “But how--”

  “The one with the torn ear swings his dagger way too much,” I continued on without letting her finish. “So, just knock it out of his hand and stab him in the face or something. The other three will just need a little back and forth before you can get your sword through them. Drop the torch, you are going to need both hands. Understand?”

  “Yes, Great One.” Her eyes were wide, but she gave a hearty nod anyway as she dropped the torch.

  The moment we stepped out of the tunnel, the ice shaman hurled a ball of ice at us. I dodged it easily and shouldered my way past the smaller goblins lined up in front of him. I swung my sword at the shaman, but it blocked with its rod of ice. At least it couldn’t melt my blade like the acid guy, and I was able to shove the ice shaman further into the room.

  As I anticipated, the acid shaman rushed to the ice asshole’s defense. He was closing in rapidly on my right, and when he was within striking distance, I leaped away from the ice shaman.

  “Grrrragh!” the acid goblin bellowed as he shifted to avoid colliding with his friend.

  “Oh, come on!” I laughed. “I bet he wanted a hug!”

  The sound of clashing metal rang from the entrance where Mahini was battling the smaller goblins. I didn’t dare look back to check her body count in case the acid guy sprang at me. I kept all my weight on the balls of my feet and bounced my focus between the two shamans. They stood close enough together that any attack would get me too close to the acid goblin, but I had to keep them occup
ied to buy Mahini some time.

  “Come and get me!” I yelled as I lunged for the acid shaman’s left side.

  It shifted to meet me halfway, and I danced around its slimy green blade. The shaman let out another bellow of outrage and came barreling toward me. The ice goblin hurled a ball of ice in my direction at the same time, and I tried to line up the acid guy with the shot. The ball of ice hit the ground an instant before the acid shaman reached it.

  “Could you be a worse shot, man?” I asked the ice shaman. He roared some response and hurled another ball at me. “Not at me! At him!”

  I danced around the acid shaman as he came charging at me, and when he blundered past I brought my armored elbow down on his right shoulder. The goblin let out a shriek as the sword clattered to the ground. The slime on the blade made it slide easily across the room.

  But I knew that the goblin didn’t need a weapon to spit acid at me. He roared as he turned and came in for another charge. The ice shaman readied another ice ball, and when he hurled it, I held my ground. At the very last second, I rolled out of the way.

  The acid goblin let out a strangled cry just before the ice froze its chest. I sprang to my feet and plunged my sword through the statue, and I let out a whoop as the whole thing shattered.

  The ice shaman had another ice ball ready, but Mahini swooped in and drove her sword through the back of its neck. Black ooze sprayed the ground between us as the ice shaman slumped to the ground.

  Fucking finally.

  “Good job,” I said as I smiled at the warrior woman.

  “You… are amazing, Great One,” she whispered, and her mouth hung open as she stared at me.

  “Team effort,” I snickered, “but, yeah. You are starting to understand my greatness.”

  “Yes…” she whispered even softer, but I just played it cool, turned away from her, cleaned my sword on the ice goblin’s leather armor, and made my way over to the acid goblin’s blade which was no longer covered in green slime. It looked like a knight’s blade in terms of its shape, but it was crafted with a much shorter blade to suit the goblins, and when I picked it up, it was like holding a wisp of cloud.