by Anne Mercier
“Again, that’s what I said.”
I strip off my pants and boxer briefs, then my socks. I turn on the jets in the tub and get in, leaning back and closing my eyes as Sera slips from the room.
When she returns a few minutes later, she’s got a glass of scotch for me.
“Here you go, babe. I’m sorry you had a bad day.”
“Thank you, Fee.” I take a sip. “This is perfect.”
“I’ll be right back,” she tells me and leaves the room.
My wife. She’s too good to me, too good for me. I’m really glad she doesn’t think so. Coming home to her at the end of days like this makes life worth living.
She comes back with her guitar.
I lift a brow.
“I’ve been working on something. I don’t have the lyrics, but the chords are pretty much done. Just a few tweaks left.”
Fee looks vulnerable right now. I don’t like it. It means something’s wrong.
“I’d love to hear it.”
She nods. Her eyes close, and she strums the guitar. The melody is sweet, soft… hauntingly beautiful. When she finishes, a tear slides down her cheek.
“Fee…”
She puts a fake smile on and lets it fade. “I wrote that for our daughter.”
“Fee, come here,” I encourage. I want to wrap her up in my arms and hold her close.
She shakes her head. “Not yet.”
I turn off the jets and stand, wrapping a towel around my waist. If she won’t come to me, I’ll go to her. I take her hand and lead her to the sitting area in our bedroom.
“Tell me.”
She looks nervous.
“I want to remember our baby girl. I love her and wish we’d had time with her, though that might have hurt worse. I don’t know.”
“What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing bad. I promise. I just… she deserves this.”
I nod, rubbing my thumb across her wrist. “She does.”
“A week ago Monday was the day I should have gotten my shot,” her gaze meets mine.
“And you didn’t get it.” It’s not a question.
“I didn’t,” she answers.
“Fee,” I whisper, my heart soaring and aching at the same time. I pull her into my arms and hug her tightly.
“I’m afraid.”
“I know.”
“What if it happens again? What if I can’t get pregnant? What if we never have children?” she rambles, telling me all her worries.
“It won’t happen again. You can get pregnant again, and we will have children. The doctor said it might take a little longer, but that it wasn’t impossible.”
“I know, but…”
“No. Don’t do that. Don’t worry, Fee. Have faith in us,” I remind her.
She nods, her forehead against mine.
“You’re ready to try again,” I say against her lips.
“I am.”
“Then we will. Any worries, we’ll discuss.”
She nods again. “I love you, Cage.”
My heart melts. Every time she says it, I feel it in my soul. “I love you, Fee.”
She sits back and gazes at me intently. “I really am afraid.”
I nod. “I am, too. But we’re bigger than our fears, right?” I question.
“Together? Always. I don’t think I could handle this life alone,” Sera confesses.
“It’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out.”
My phone rings across the room where I set it.
“I’ll get it,” she tells me, walking across the room.
She smirks and it’s devilish. “Well, hello, Mr. Black.” She presses speaker so I can hear the exchange.
“Mrs. Nichols. How are you on this fine evening?” Damian answers, teasing as much as Fee.
“I’m quite fine, Sir. Would you like to speak to the Boss?” she asks, and I lift a brow.
“I’ll remember that later, in bed,” I murmur quietly, and her cheeks flush with arousal. I love that she’s so responsive to me.
“I would, but in person if it’s not too much trouble,” Damian replies.
I take the offered phone. “No trouble at all. You already here?”
“I am.”
“I’ll meet you in my office in five.” I hang up and Sera’s already handing me my boxer briefs. “Such a dutiful wife. What duties will you fulfill later in our bed?”
“Every single one,” she replies, her hand gripping my hardening cock. “It’s too bad you have business.” Her hand falls away.
“I won’t be long.”
“I’ll be waiting,” she replies as I pull on my jeans and t-shirt.
“I’ll be hard the entire meeting knowing I get to be wicked with you as soon as it’s finished.”
“Mmm,” she purrs. “Hurry.”
I make my way down the hallway and into my illuminated office. “Why are all the lights on?”
Damian shrugs. “It was this way when I got here.”
“Xananigans,” I mutter.
“Say what?” Damian asks.
“Sera, Xander, and Meggie were here together for nearly two hours… alone.”
Damian lifts one black eyebrow. “Xananigans, for sure.”
He looks around and I do the same.
“I don’t see anything,” Damian tells me.
Me neither. “Hmm. I’ll figure it out soon enough. How was your meeting with Mr. Richards?”
“He was resistant,” Damian answers, taking a seat across from my desk.
“And you managed to persuade him without killing him?” I question. It’s a valid question, knowing Damian as I do.
He nods. “It took a lot of restraint with the sniveling weasel talking shit about our family.”
I merely lift a brow.
“He resisted. I delivered a few hard, well-targeted punches to his stomach, he bent over retching, and I gave him our terms. He accepted.”
I smirk. “I just bet he did. I’ve been on the receiving end of those fists. There’s no room for persuasion.”
“Absolutely none.”
“Good. It won’t last long, this truce if it can be called that,” I admit.
Damian nods. “I know. I’m on it.”
“Next time leave him… messier. He’ll need a reminder he won’t soon forget.”
“Messier meaning…?”
“No bullet holes.”
Damian frowns.
“Yet.”
He perks up.
“Third time, shoot but not to kill. Maim a bit.”
“Now you’re talking, Boss. I hate that little fucker. He’s … a weasel with no class. His jealousy of Ethan and Linc is pathetic. That’s where it all stems from,” Damian informs me.
“I figured. That, and he’s a bigot.”
Damian grunts, his hand forming a fist.
“You need an outlet for that rage?” I question.
“I could use one.”
“There’ve been some issues down at the docks in San Diego. I was going to put someone else on it, but if you want to take care of it, it’s yours,” I offer.
“What are we talking about here?” he asks.
I explain the hijacked shipments. He grunts.
“Sounds good.”
“Use your fists if you want, but if you use your gun, shoot to kill,” I order.
Damian nods. “Yes, Sir.”
“Take a couple men with you. This isn’t going to be a one-man hijacking.”
“I want to take Celeste, too. She’s been itching for a fight,” Damian tells me.
I nod. “Keep an eye on her. She gets caught up.”
“Will do.” Damian looks around some more. “I still don’t see anything.”
“No. We won’t until we need to. Those three.” I shake my head.
“Good luck, Boss. I’ll call with updates.”
Damian leaves and I turn off the overhead lights, leaving just my desk lamp on. It’s dark, but the light is plenty. I pour a
scotch and recline in my chair, closing my eyes. Highjacked shipments, human trafficking in our territory, drugs being smuggled through our territory. Things are getting out of hand. Gio isn’t happy. I’m not happy. Damian will put a mark out there letting them know we know, and it won’t be tolerated.
I finish my drink and look up. My lips twitch. I can’t stop the chuckle. I wonder which one of them came up with this?
On the ceiling in glow-in-the-dark yellow paint is a bat signal. It’s perfectly positioned so it looks as if it’s coming from my desk lamp.
Clever.
17
LINC
“Where the fuck have you been lately?” I ask Ben when he walks into the kitchen.
Kadi holds out her hand. “Swear jar.”
I give her a twenty. She looks at me.
“I’m going to swear a lot in the next hour or so,” I warn.
She holds her hand out again.
I lift a brow.
“You’ll need more than that for as often as you use the F word.”
I nod. “You’re right, kid. Here.” I hand her another twenty.
She pockets the cash. “That should hold you for a couple hours.”
“You’re such a little shit,” I tease, poking a finger in her side gently, making her giggle at the tickle.
“Better than being a big one… like you,” she taunts. I tickle her again. Her giggles make Ethan smile. Hell, they make me smile. The kid is great. I fell for her the first time we talked. She’s way too adult-like for someone her age.
“We had to deal with some grown-up things,” Ben replies.
Nicole’s face remains impassive as she brings Maria and Antonio to the kitchen table. It’s late for lunch, but it seems like it’s been a long day for the family.
“You okay?” Ethan asks.
Nicole nods. “Parental rights termination hearing.”
“Oh,” I reply. “How’d that go?” I look at the kids and wonder how much they should hear.
Maria perks up. “Good. Ben’s going to be our dad and Nicole’s going to be our mom.”
Antonio nods enthusiastically as he takes a bit of his banana.
“That’s so exciting!” Ethan tells them. He’s so great with kids. Maybe one day.
“Will you all be living here… or moving to your own place?” I ask.
Ben looks around. “We voted. We’ll be here for a few more years.”
Kadi claps. “Can we play?” she asks Nicole, looking at Antonio and Maria.
“Of course!” Nicole replies. “As soon as you all eat your lunch.”
“Mama Summer and Daddy are back.”
“Is that so,” Mrs. M questions, her tone not exactly kind.
Kadi nods as she chews a grape. “They just got home a little bit ago. Mama Summer’s not feeling good.”
Ethan frowns. “What’s wrong?”
Kadi looks at Ethan, her expression filled with worry. “I don’t know. She’s going to the doctor soon. I want to go, but they said no.”
“I’ll talk them into it,” Ethan tells her.
I elbow him. He looks over.
“What?”
“You sure you should do that?” I ask.
“Kadi’s my girl. I’ll always help her out,” Ethan says with a wink to her.
Jace enters the kitchen and Mrs. M starts muttering in Spanish—lots of swear words. Translation: “Run off and get married, will you? Without inviting us. Asshole. Ungrateful asshole.”
“Man, you are in so much trouble,” I tell him, nodding to my mom. “She called you an asshole, dude.”
Jace winces. “One thing at a time. Right now, I need to find Lucy. Summer’s sick.”
“Did you check the studio?” Ben asks.
Jace nods. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve got a call in to the doctor…”
“Dr. Mack?” Ethan asks.
Jace nods.
“Where you’re taking Kadi along, right?” Ethan urges.
Jace looks at Ethan. Ethan gives him a look, then looks to Kadi who’s biting her nails.
“Baby girl, you can absolutely come along. I didn’t realize… I’m sorry,” Jace tells Kadi, pulling her into a hug.
“I’ll find Lucy,” she tells him, pulling away.
“Is Miss Summer okay? Is the baby okay?” Mrs. M asks, when Kadi leaves the room.
“I think so,” Jace replies. “She just not been feeling well the last couple of days.”
“Could it be something she ate?” I ask.
“It’s possible,” Jace admits.
“Dude, Dr. Mackenzie will give it to you straight up,” Ben informs Jace. “There’ll be no guessing.”
Jace breathes out a relieved breath. “I hope it’s just a virus or something.”
“Summer viruses are common,” Lucy says as she enters the kitchen holding Kadi’s hand. “Take me to her?”
Jace nods, taking Kadi’s other hand and they all exit the kitchen.
“Christ,” I mutter, worried about Summer and the baby.
“Never a dull moment around here,” Ben informs me.
“So I’ve learned.”
“She’ll be okay, babe,” Ethan reassures me. “She has to be.”
I nod, taking in Ethan’s worry. Fucking hell. Will we ever catch a break?
After my work out, I go to find Ethan in the studio. He’s lost in the rhythm of his bass, Xander banging on the drums. These two, they work so well together. Without them, the band would suck. That’s no lie. Without the rhythm, the songs fall flat.
I take a seat next to Damian who’s observing.
“What’s up man?” I ask.
“Just taking a breather,” Damian answers. “I’ll be gone a couple days. I wanted to see what’s going on with the band. I know they have the charity concert next weekend.”
I wince. Fuck. That’s the night of my underground fight in New York.
“Where’s the concert again?”
“Here, in L.A.” He’s eyeing me. “What’s up?”
“I’ve got a fight in New York that Saturday, so I’ll be gone Friday until Sunday. I didn’t want to miss this show.”
“I hear the worry, but rest assured man, there’s going to be so much security no one will be able to fart without someone knowing about it,” Damian says.
I nod. I’d still feel better being there for my boy. “If anything happens to him…” I trail off.
Damian levels his stare.
“I don’t give a fuck if you’ve got a gun,” I seethe.
Damian nods. “I can respect that. We’re doing everything humanly possible.”
It’s my turn to nod. “I can respect that.”
“Good.”
I exit the studio and confirm I’m set for the fight. The drama surrounding Ethan’s and my coming out has started to hit the fighting scene. More than one opponent has vocalized their disdain either on camera during an interview, on social media, or in print.
The world is filled with intolerant assholes… I wonder what kind of secrets these people have. Would ours be the worst or would theirs? I can’t imagine being gay is worse than being a bigot. You just know with someone who’s so easy to hate what they don’t understand, there’s plenty of skeletons in their closets.
I need to keep this as far away from Ethan as I can. He’s got enough to deal with. I hope Joan can help him work through this because I know it’s weighing him down—even if he isn’t talking about it much.
18
ETHAN
After jamming with Xan in the studio, I’m at another therapy session with Joan. This one I need.
“Ethan,” Joan begins. “You look stressed.”
I nod, leaning forward, resting my elbows on my knees, hands clasped loosely together, head hanging.
“What’s been going on?”
“The media insanity, for one. It’s getting more extensive and intense,” I reply.
“I’ll admit, I saw a few of the tabloid articles.”
I nod. “I don’t mind those really. Eventually someone else will hit the spotlight.”
“Then what’s your concern?” she asks.
“Mostly the stuff on Twitter. There’s a lot of hate and gay shaming.”
“Those are the ignorant and intolerant. You know better than to let that get to you, Ethan. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
I look up at her. “Don’t I? I really don’t care about the things that are just aimed at me and Linc, but what gets to me are the comments regarding the band.”
“Such as?”
“The so-called fans who vow not to be fans anymore because I’m gay. It’s just starting for Linc in the fighting social media. This is going to get bad for him,” I tell her. And that’s my biggest fear. “What could happen to Linc because of this… if they don’t accept it…”
“Haven’t there been others?” Joan asks.
I nod. “I think so. Some didn’t last long.”
“But you know Lincoln is made of stronger stuff than that. He won’t give up because of something someone says.”
“I know that. That’s where the problems might begin. What if… what if something happens to him because of this… within the ring or out? What if the fighters band against him?” I finally voice my greatest fear. The fighters ganging up on Lincoln and beating the hell out of him. He could take on two or three at once, but what if it’s more? A whole lot more?
“Do you really think something like this will happen?”
I nod.
“Are you concerned something like this could happen to you? I know you worry about others before yourself, but if you’re worried for Lincoln…”
“It’s possible, but our security is tight. When Linc’s at a fight, he doesn’t have the coverage we have. He insists on it being light. I’ve tried to talk to him about it,” I admit. “I’m going to try again.”
“Communication, Ethan. It’s the only way to be able to tone down the worries. Lincoln wouldn’t like hearing this.”
“I know. I do. I just… sometimes I think I have so much baggage, one day he’s going to walk away. I don’t think I’d survive that,” I confess.
“Ethan,” Joan begins. “Lincoln loves you. He loves every single thing about you. Don’t doubt that because of what’s going on out there,” she advises, pointing at the window. “Believe what’s in here.” She points to her heart.
