Unequal

by B. E. Sanderson

  “Do you get a lot of injured people where you’re at?”

  “Not really. Every once in a while one our people gets hurt, but…” Consternation swept over Crispin’s face and then was gone.

  “But Justin’s expecting more injuries and he needs someone like me.” Her companion didn’t have to say a thing. Rue had already reasoned out where Justin’s thinking lay. He was planning a war and he needed someone to tend to the casualties.

  THIRTEEN

  For a group whose leader seemed intent on war, there was a curious lack of people inside the building. Rue had expected to see scurrying and busyness. Instead, she found an unexpected calm. She glanced at Crispin to gauge his reaction, but he looked as unruffled as ever. His constant absence of anxiety was beginning to grate against her nerves.

  “What’s wrong with you?” The words leapt from her.

  His eyebrows narrowed into a vee. “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing affects you. You’re too calm.”

  “You’re used to living in a state of emergency and you act accordingly. Personally, I think it’s a waste of energy.” He took one of her hands and caressed the back with his thumb. “Everything has its time. Justin will tell us when it’s time to panic. Until then, I’ll save my energies for when they’re needed.”

  She longed to shake her head at him, but it wouldn’t do any good. Something inside Crispin was inherently different. Of course, it was. It’s what made him Unequal.

  “Where is everyone?” she asked.

  “Upstairs.”

  They bypassed the elevator and climbed three flights of stairs. The entrance onto the third floor led them into a hallway lined with residences. The stillness was eerie. She hadn’t lived in assigned housing since the first week of her adulthood but from her brief experience, the building should be anything but quiet. Especially on a Saturday night.

  People should be going to some form of entertainment, or coming home from a meal out, or simply standing around talking to their neighbors. This place gave her the impression no one lived here and no one ever would.

  “This isn’t one of their buildings. This is ours,” he said, as if reading her mind.

  “How can you have a building in the middle of assigned housing?”

  “Everyone in this building is one of ours—assigned here at his request.” Crispin grinned. “Justin has friends in the DOH.”

  I’ll bet he does. I bet he has friends everywhere.

  The danger inherent in having an entire building dedicated not only to Unequals but to a rebel group of them, didn’t escape her. It was unfortunate the concept had eluded Justin. If he was really leading these people into a war against the DOE, they were doomed.

  “Take me to Justin and get it over with.” She was unable to keep the growing frustration from her voice. Something odd was going on. She needed to figure it out before she fell deeper into the rabbit hole.

  Crispin looked hurt. She couldn’t help him. As close as she was beginning to get to the man, she couldn’t worry about hurt feelings. This whole thing was too important.

  After a couple seconds, her companion shrugged and turned left down the hallway. At the fourth door, he knocked. Rue waited for some kind of secret password, or a hushed bark of ‘who is it’. Every novel with a scene like this had some sort of way for agents to communicate in secrecy. She had to admit to a little disappointment as the door swung open without so much as a ‘who goes there’.

  To her surprise, Bruno greeted them. “Took you long enough.”

  “We got held up by the DOE’s gassing party.” Crispin brushed past the bigger man, thumping him on the shoulder jovially. “Is Justin back yet?”

  “He arrived about twenty before you.”

  Rue wished Bruno would step back so she could enter without brushing against him. She wasn’t exactly in the habit of touching other people—unless they required medical attention and she was in her doctor guise. The whole deed seemed too familiar, and the idea made her uncomfortable. He was so big and so alien. Good thing for her, she was used to disappointment. He didn’t move a centimeter. Finally, she scurried past, feeling every bit of his broad chest against her shoulder. In fact, she could’ve sworn his shaggy beard tickled her ear.

  Thankfully, she didn’t feel the same burst of attraction for him she had for his compatriots. He was about as far from attractive as she could imagine. If a rush of heat had come from touching this man, she’d be certain they’d drugged her in some way.

  “Sorry ‘bout that, Miss Logan.” His words fell gently, and she could tell he meant them. He truly was sorry, but for what exactly she wasn’t sure.

  “It’s okay.” Scanning the room, she realized there wasn’t much other space for the big man to stand. Here was the crowd she’d expected upon entering the building. It was obviously the type of apartment assigned to a single individual. One bedroom door, slightly ajar, took precedence in the far wall. A tiny table was shoved underneath the window and a half-dozen people stood around it, arguing over a set of blueprints. Opposite the bedroom was an opening that, judging from the scents wafting in the air, led to a kitchen where someone was cooking.

  “It’s a bit tight in here, isn’t it? Couldn’t get a double occupancy?” Judging by the look on Bruno’s face, her joke fell flat.

  “Everything in this building is single. We can’t afford to have them jump to the conclusion we’re breeding.” Rue’s mouth fell open, but the man’s eyes twinkled. Bruno may have gotten her joke after all and made one of his own. Maybe once she knew him better, she’d be able to tell.

  “Can’t have that,” she replied, letting a smile play around her lips. Even without the getting to know you phase, she liked this man. He had a playfulness about him reminiscent of the way Uncle Howard had once been.

  Whatever happened to turn Howard into Hank wouldn’t stop her loving the man from her childhood.

  Glancing around the small space, she noticed her companion had disappeared. “Where’d Crispin go?”

  “I expect he went in there.” He nodded toward the bedroom, “to debrief and to announce your arrival. He’ll be back shortly.”

  A small cough sounded to their right and Rue was shocked to see Shiraz for the first time in full light. The entire left side of her face was covered with a mottled, raspberry mark. She would’ve been horrified to encounter such a wound. Somehow, understanding this wasn’t the result of injury made it worse. Of any of them, Shiraz was the most obviously Unequal.

  “You’re staring again,” the girl said. “One would presume, after all your vast medical training, you’d be past being shocked.”

  Rue understood Shiraz was trying to bait her. And she didn’t really blame the girl. For someone with so visible a birthmark to make it to adulthood was unheard of. So many babies haunted Rue’s memory—born a little different, born Unequal and disappeared quicker than their mothers could whisper names for them.

  “You weren’t born in a hospital.”

  “Give the doc a prize, Bruno. The freak had to be born at home in order to make it past her first breath, right?” Shiraz leaned against the wall and gave Rue a long, slow look. “You’re not nearly as smart as Justin hopes you are.” And with those words, the girl turned on her heel, heading into the kitchen.

  “I didn’t mean to—”

  “No one means to, Miss Logan. ‘Raz takes things harder than most.”

  “I don’t blame her.”

  Bruno lifted one, thick shoulder. “It’s been long enough she should let some of it go.”

  “I must’ve been wrong about the home birth. If not, then how did she survive?”

  “Justin’s predecessor got her away from the DOE before they could make her disappear. She was raised with the Unequals.” He gave a wistful look toward the kitchen. “She doesn’t really have reason to be so angry. She isn’t treated any different than anyone else.”

  Rue shook her head. She wasn’t marked, but she could understand what made Shiraz so angr
y. Being treated the same as everyone else was a DOE trick. The girl didn’t want to be treated as if the mark didn’t exist, any more than she wanted it to be the one important thing about her.

  “Miss Logan?” Bruno asked, breaking her out of her musings. “They’re ready for you.” He nodded toward the bedroom. A woman in the doorway beckoned to her.

  “Who’s that?”

  “I’m not sure. One of Justin’s agents. Go on. She won’t hurt you.” He winked at Rue. “I wouldn’t let her if she tried.”

  Caught by a sudden impulse, she wrapped her arms around the big man. “Thank you.”

  “What did I do?” he asked, his breath ruffling her hair.

  “You wouldn’t understand if I told you.” She gave him one last squeeze and headed across the room. If she tried to explain how much he reminded her of her uncle, she feared he would be offended—considering who her uncle had become. Explaining how Howard was once a better human being would take longer than any of them had.

  The woman waiting for her didn’t waste time introducing herself. She merely stepped aside. If Rue thought the rest of the apartment was crowded, she hadn’t understood what crowded was. In a seven by seven space, easily a dozen people stood, sat, or leaned against the wall. The bed had long been removed, since the carpet no longer bore any indentations of its presence. In its place was a long table. Charts and diagrams filled its surface, transporting her to a basement in her childhood.

  “This is a blueprint, Rue,” Uncle Howard had said. The strange piece of paper he’d spread out on the concrete floor was nearly larger than himself. “This is what people use to show others how to build things.”

  “Things?”

  “Houses, stores… hospitals.” He tweaked her nose. As young as five, she knew what she wanted out of her life. And he knew how much she wanted it. Before he mentioned the word hospital, she’d been vaguely interested. In an instant, he could’ve rattled on for hours with her complete attention.

  “Someday, after I’m free of the Equalization Laws, I’m going to build a hospital especially for you.”

  “And one for people who help sick kitties, too?”

  He tousled her hair. “Once we’re all free, we can have whatever pets we want and they’ll need doctors. So of course, I’ll build a hospital for pets, too. They’re called veterinary clinics.”

  “And they’d be able to save someone like Dandelion?” she said, referring to the tiny cat she found. It seemed to be in the best of health, but the idea of all the other animals with no one to care for them made her want to cry.

  Little had she known she had mere days with her kitten and months with her uncle.

  “Logan?” She shuddered away from the memory, gazing into eyes so green they had to be Justin’s. “Are you ready to find out why you’re here?”

  She shook her head and confusion clouded his features. “You don’t need to tell me why I’m here,” she said. “I’ve figured it out on my own. The question is do you want to discuss it in front of all these people?”

  He tilted his head to one side and studied her. “Nice to see I wasn’t wrong when I pegged you as someone who was smarter than most people gave her credit for.” Lifting one hand, he held it out toward the room’s one available chair. “Have a seat and explain what you’ve decided your purpose with us is.”

  Suddenly, her play for a little control seemed immensely stupid. If she was wrong about Justin’s intentions, her assumptions weren’t going to endear her to these people. Hell, if she was right, she wasn’t going to make any friends by pointing it out.

  “I’d rather we talked alone.”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, Ms. Logan,” said the woman behind her, “we’re short on private conference rooms.”

  “And we’re a little short on time,” said a man holding up the far wall.

  Okay, you asked for it. She decided to forgo the chair and took a stance in the middle of the room, where she could easily turn toward every face.

  “I’m here because you’re about to start a war, and you need someone who can put your soldiers back together after the DOE takes them apart.”

  She expected anger. She wasn’t disappointed. Both the woman who escorted her and the man against the wall turned hate filled eyes toward her. Justin, for his part, simply stood nearby wearing a curious smile.

  As he spoke, he addressed the whole room. “Didn’t I tell you she was smart?”

  “Not so smart,” came an unexpected reply. Shiraz had slipped into the room. Walking within centimeters of Rue, she continued, “The war’s already started, and we weren’t the ones who instigated a damn thing.”

  Rue stared into the girl’s eyes and was startled to find a vivid blue she hadn’t noticed before. More startling, the rabid anger those beautiful eyes were tainted with.

  “In fact,” Shiraz said, “the little gas party you crashed earlier… It was the DOE’s way of trying to flush the Unequal’s out.” She stabbed a finger into Rue’s chest. The impact was sharp enough to sting, but Rue held her ground. “You’re lucky you didn’t get picked up. If Cris wasn’t there, the DOE would’ve had you in minutes. Or did you really think shouting for the idiots to run was a good idea?”

  “Enough, Raz.”

  “She’d going to get someone killed.” Shiraz’s eyes narrowed and disdain dripped from her mouth. “Or rather I should say ‘someone else’.” She whirled to face Justin. “You might have forgotten Margaret, but I haven’t.”

  The man’s face paled. Rue’s stomach turned. In all of this, she forgot Hubert had been a member of this group. The old nurse must’ve had friends—family even—who cared what happened to her. With the way Hubert had tried to mother Rue, she could easily imagine the woman taking Shiraz under her wing.

  “I’m so sorry,” Rue whispered over her own pain. Whatever grief she was experiencing represented a shadow of the heartache in the girl’s eyes, and she was disgusted with herself. Before anyone could stop her, she reached out and put her arms around the girl. The girl tensed, but she didn’t fight the embrace. She simply shuddered once and melted against Rue.

  There’s more than one way to heal. Every time Rue railed against her inability to help those hurt animals or the few injured people she stumbled across, her mother would hold her tight and whisper those words in her hair.

  The embrace only lasted a second before Shiraz pushed Rue away so hard, they both nearly fell. Crispin’s hands stopped the girl. Bruno’s arms caught Rue before she touched the ground.

  “You killed Margaret.” Shiraz’s accusation stung worse than a slap across the face.

  Crispin whispered into the girl’s ear, but the damage was done—on both sides. Nothing Rue did would bridge the widening gulf. And right then, she didn’t want to bridge it. Shiraz had every reason to hate her. If she hadn’t been so damn stupid—if she’d listened to Jenner/Justin in the first place, Margaret Hubert wouldn’t have died.

  Minutes passed. Crispin led Shiraz from the room. Once they were gone, Rue realized she remained in Bruno’s arms and pushed herself away. Turning her anger outward, she whirled on the person in charge of this group of misguided rebels. If he was any kind of real leader, none of this would be happening. If he was as wonderful as Crispin thought, he could’ve found a way to rescue her without allowing them to kill Hubert. As smart as he was supposed to be, he could’ve found a way around the violence. Instead, he was making plans for war.

  Shiraz may be correct about not starting this but, from what Rue could see, Justin was planning on escalating it.

  “You want me to help you?” Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides, itching to hurt rather than heal. “Come to me with a plan to stop this, and I’ll be more than happy to treat whatever casualties you incur.”

  “Rue… we can’t stop this—”

  “Then find a way to lead your people into slaughter without the safety net of a doctor who’ll sew them back together afterwards. I can’t be a party to this.”


  “If you refuse to treat our wounded…” the unknown woman said. “If you are callous enough to walk away from this fight… then you are as bad as those who inflict the damage.”

  Justin held up his hand. “No.”

  “But Justin—”

  “I said, no. If Ms. Logan cannot help us willingly, that is her choice.”

  “We could force her to help us.” The man who’d been leaning against the wall had come closer to Rue and he didn’t look as relaxed any more. In fact, she’d seen the same look on the faces of the trio at the DOE.

  “You could,” Rue told him, “but then you wouldn’t be much better than the people you’re fighting.” She stared into Justin’s emerald depths. “You have my terms. Promise me you’re working toward some kind of peaceful end to this rather than making it worse and I’ll help you. Until then, leave me out of it. I never had a chance to make the Hippocratic Oath as a real doctor, but I refuse to do harm.”

  “How will refusing to help us not harm us?”

  If she didn’t use her knowledge to help, people might die. If she didn’t at least train a few of the brighter Unequals, lives could be lost. Still, this had to be her one stand against Justin’s war. They had to understand. Surely, Justin would see the foolishness of entering into a war without someone who could save their lives afterwards. Someone had to see.

  “Maybe if you understand no one is back here waiting to save you.” She made each word as clear as she was able. “Then you’ll re-evaluate this idea of running toward danger. If getting you to do that is all I can do to save lives, I can live with it. Can you?” As she gazed from face to face, she could tell her stand had failed. In their eyes, she wasn’t saving them from themselves. She was damning them all.