Book Read Free

Second Chance With Me: A With Me in Seattle Universe Novel

Page 7

by S. Moose


  I watch the thoughts in her head spin as she bites her bottom lip and looks away from me. I wish I could hear what she’s thinking. “I see that. Truly I do.” She points back at the house. “But you need to know that little boy is everything to me. You didn’t care when I found out I was pregnant, and you didn’t care enough to contact me, so what makes you think I’m going to give you a chance to get to know Alex?”

  “You have every right to keep me away. I understand the position I put you in, and I’ll regret it every day for the rest of my life. I’ve thought about you since the day you walked out.” I reach out to touch her hand, and she doesn’t pull away. “Thinking about you gave me the courage to fight so I could come back and be in your life one day. I thought about our baby. Neither of you ever left my mind. I went to the hospital, and I stood outside your door. There was a guy with you, so I thought you’d moved on. I thought you found someone who made you happy.”

  “What?”

  “You moved on, Ashley. I left thinking it was for the best.”

  She shakes her head. “I didn’t move on. That was my cousin. He’s a doctor at a nearby hospital and came by after his shift. I didn’t move on. I tried dating, but it never worked out.”

  I let out a breath of relief, and for the first time since I saw her, I’m finally able to breathe.

  “That’s hard to believe that you cared and still wanted me since you told me to take care of the problem and let me walk out of the apartment.”

  Her words hit me like a freight train. She’s right. I don’t deserve this chance, but I’m not giving up. “You’re right, Ashley. I should never have done that. I’m not going to stand here and make excuses. I was twenty-three-years-old, and my career was starting. I was selfish. I’ve grown up, and all I want is a chance to prove to you and Alex that I can be the man you need me to be.”

  She looks up when I stop talking, tears in her deep brown eyes.

  “I don’t want to make you cry anymore. I hate knowing this is causing you pain. All I want to do is make you happy and wash away the past that was us.”

  “I know.” She sighs. “I’ll call you, and we’ll talk about a good time for us to meet, talk, and when it’ll be good for you to meet Alex.”

  “I understand. Please know I am here for you.”

  She slowly nods her head. “I know you are.”

  Chapter 14

  Ashley

  Working overtime while raising an energetic five-year-old and trying to avoid your ex is not good.

  No.

  It’s exhausting.

  After Alex was born and I went back to work, I pulled long nights and signed up for overtime as much as I could. Having a baby with a single income wasn’t ideal. The bills were coming, and I refused to take money from my family. Gina offered, but I told her I was fine. I made it through endless nights. Luckily, Alex slept through the night. He was the perfect baby for my mom while she stayed with him while I worked. During the day, he napped, and I did too. My sisters were worried I wasn’t cherishing my time with Alex, but I was. I worked for him.

  For us.

  On the nights I wasn’t working, we went to the park and adventures. Everything I did was for Alex. If I started to feel we weren’t spending enough time together, I cut back on overtime and took the necessary time off.

  Nothing got in the way of us.

  Unfortunately, now, something’s in the way.

  Clayton.

  Every time I close my eyes, I could feel the ghost of his presence holding me, whispering how much he loves me, and his lips gently pressing against mine.

  Then there’s the hurt in his eyes when I tell him I need more time. Tell him I’m fine without him, and there’s no way he can be in Alex’s life.

  That look, it haunts me and makes me feel like I’m the bad guy. Deep down, I know I’m not, and I know I need to take this slow.

  Clayton and I had a relationship that ignited our souls. It was a fire, and it burned so brightly. But like fires, it gets washed and put out.

  I pick up my phone and text Gina.

  Ashley: I need to go out.

  Have you ever done something you know is a bad idea but said fuck it and did it anyway, knowing full well shit would hit the fan?

  That would be me. I’m that person.

  In a matter of two meetings, my world comes to an abrupt halt to reality. Never in a million years did I think Clayton would come to my house and want to see Alex and me.

  Never in a million years did I think Clayton would stalk me and confront me in a parking lot.

  After telling Gina about what’s going on and how Clayton’s back, her brilliant idea was to go out drinking and dancing. I’m a sucker when it comes to my best friend. If she says we’re going out drinking and dancing, if my mom is okay with watching Alex, I’m usually there with her. It doesn’t happen often, but I take a break from mom life at least once a month to hang out with my girlfriends. Most of the time, we hang out at Gina’s house and drink some wine, eat food that’s horrible for us, and relax. It’s our getaway from reality.

  This time, Gina wanted to go big or go home. And boy, we sure did go big. How I’m feeling, level ten hungover, isn’t the only thing I’m regretting. I look over and see Gina passed out on her bed. I blame her for everything that happened.

  Reaching over, I pick up my phone from the nightstand and unlock it with my finger, immediately shutting my eyes.

  “Gina.” I groan, picking up a pillow to hit her with. “Wake up.”

  “What?” She groans and turns toward me. “How and why are you awake?”

  I cover my eyes with my hand and let out a screech. “Do you know what I did last night?”

  “Take massive amounts of shots with your best friend. It was a good night. You needed it.”

  I scoff. “Yeah, lots of shots, but I also texted Clayton.”

  “Yeah, I know,” she states matter-of-factly. “I dared you, and you did it.”

  I slump deeper into the bed, praying a dark hole will open and swallow me whole. Alex will be safe with my mom, sisters, and Gina. I can never face anyone again. Especially not what I sent him.

  “Clayton, you arrogant son of a bitch. How dare you come back into my life? How dare you think I’d want my son to get to know you? You left me when I needed you the most. What you did will always be unforgivable. You promised me you loved me, and we were going to be together no matter what. You promised me the world and you’d never turn your back. Well, ya did, ya piece of crap. I hate you so much. I hate you for leaving me and not wanting to get to know Alex. He’s perfect. The best little boy a parent could ask for. If I ever see you again, I promise I’ll come after you guns blazing. Don’t ever cast a shadow on my life again. Good day!”

  I groan and die a little more with each word Gina reads from the text I sent Clayton.

  “And another thing. You got fat and ugly!” She laughs and pushes my shoulder. “You know he didn’t.”

  She rubs the salt in a little harder. “I know.” I hate that he looks better than before.

  Hate it.

  My brain’s still processing the events from last night. Hot mess alert. This isn’t me. I’m a mom and a nurse. I care for precious kids. I’m a damn professional, and here I am, acting like some high school teenager.

  Gina tugs my arm away from my face and squeezes my hand, letting me know she’s here for me.

  “You know it’ll be okay. Right?”

  “I don’t know. What if he gets a lawyer and shows the lawyer those messages? I’ll be so screwed. I should call him and apologize or something.”

  “Maybe he’ll laugh at this and think you’re cute. You can’t stress about this right now, girl. You know damn well Clayton would never get lawyers and do anything to hurt you.

  “I can’t.” This time I bring my arm back over my face and pray to the heavens that he never got those texts.

  My attention snaps to my phone as it vibrates next to me. There are a few possibilitie
s as to who would be calling me, and I’m dreading the idea of the caller being Clayton. I shove the cell phone in Gina’s hands, then pull the pillow from under my head, and place it over my face.

  “It’s your mom.”

  “Oh.” My eyes open, and I take the pillow off my face, taking the phone. “Hi, Mom. How’s everything going?”

  “You sound hungover. Holding up okay?”

  “Nope. But it’s life. How’s Alex?” Luckily, Alex doesn’t have camp today, and Leigh’s coming over to take him to lunch. “Thank you again for watching him last night and right now.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. He’s my grandson, and I love watching him. He’s doing well. Leigh’s here, and they’re ready to go. Do you want to talk to him?”

  “Please.” I wait and hear shuffling and then Alex’s excited tone.

  “Hey, Mom. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, honey. Of course, I am. Sorry, I slept over at Aunt Gina’s. I heard you had fun with Grandma, and now you’re going out with Aunt Leigh?”

  “Yep. Aunt Leigh got me cool toys. I didn’t open any. I know you like to be here when I do.”

  I smile. My little boy’s the sweetest. “You’re sweet to wait for me. When you get back, I’ll be there waiting for you. I hope you have a lot of fun today. I love you, Alex.”

  “I love you too, Mama. Bye!”

  “Bye.” I wait for the call to disconnect before reopening the text messages. In horror, I see the read status under the message. “He read it. He read it!”

  “Oh, shit.” Gina laughs hysterically.

  There’s no humor behind this. Clayton’s going to use this against me somehow, and I need to find a way to stop him. I have to.

  When I get home, Alex is still out with Leigh, and my mom’s most likely running errands. The quietness inside is welcoming. I slump on the couch, remembering the way Clayton looked at me.

  Clayton was always handsome. There was no doubt about it. His eyes were dark brown with specks of honey, and I always got lost when I looked at them. There were times I caught him staring at me, and I melted. His eyes always captured me. I felt everything when he looked at me. I felt his love with one look and knew he was the man I wanted.

  Not wanting to sit around in the quiet house, I grab my phone from my back pocket and play a song. I need something to distract me so I don’t fall apart again.

  Chapter 15

  Clayton

  Slumping against the back of my chair, I re-read the text messages from last night. My girl can’t hold her liquor. It’s comical, and I had a good laugh last night.

  Seeing her again after the years we spent apart does something to me. All I can see is her beautiful dark brown eyes and smile.

  It’s all slow motion.

  Her eyes pierced into mine the way it did when we first met. When I was back with my family, it was her eyes that kept me alive. Remembering the way she looked at me, loving me for who I was, and then her letter. Her words scorched my heart, and I carried it with me. I spent many nights wondering how she was doing and what would happen if we saw each other.

  I never expected to come face-to-face with my son.

  My son.

  “Hey, man. What’s going on?” I turn, looking at Nolan as he walks through the door. “You look like shit. You good?”

  Nolan’s my younger brother, and we decided to start our own business here in Seattle. It’s been long days and nights but worth every moment. We have something good. As much as I miss being a physical therapist, this is my calling—to work with my brother and build this business.

  “Yeah.” I toss him my cell phone and watch his shit-eating grin. He’s holding his stomach, laughing his ass off.

  “She said that to you?”

  “Yep.”

  “Man, she has a mouth. Damn, I can’t wait to meet her. Have you talked to her since?”

  “No. Not yet.” He tosses the phone my way. “If I know her the way I think I do, she’ll be here sometime today.”

  “Do you need me to stick around and protect your ass?”

  “I got this.” I smile, thinking about her fiery dark brown eyes glaring at me and trying to stay angry. “She’s going to be mad and upset I’m around. I need to show her I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Can’t believe you have a son, and I’m an uncle. Damn. Have you talked to Mom and Dad yet?”

  “I know.” I blow out a breath and take a seat at my desk. Moving my mouse around, I refresh my email inbox. “I missed out on too damn much. I won’t let her walk away and take my son. I need to figure out what I want to say to them. They’re coming home from Italy in a few weeks, so I figure I’ll make things right with Ashley and get to know Alex.”

  As much as I want this to go my way, I’m praying my plan will lead me to happiness and back to the woman I love.

  To the woman I never forgot.

  I scrub my hand down my face. The image of fear and shock in Ashley’s eyes feels like a freight train slammed into my chest. “I need to do what’s right by her. All I can think about is getting to know her again and meeting my son.”

  “Do you think Ashley will try to make it work?”

  I nod. “I think so. She’s going to be protective and weary, but I don’t blame her. I’ve done a lot of shitty things to her, so I don’t expect things to work out in my favor anytime soon. Whatever I have to do, I’ll do. She’s worth it. My family’s worth it.” I proudly smile, imagining my son standing, looking at me, and the way I felt when I watched him. “It broke me when she shut the door.”

  “You’ve got to take it slow. You’ve been gone for a long time, man.”

  “I know.” I shake my head in agreement. “I don’t want to scare her away, but I also don’t want to miss more time. I need to get to know my son and see where Ashley’s head’s at.”

  “Solid plan. I can’t wait to see how this turns out. It’s a damn good soap opera.” Nolan says, standing. “Hit me up whenever you need me, man. I’m serious.”

  “Thanks,” I respond and stand, rounding my desk to shake his hand. “Appreciate it.”

  I watch Nolan head out of my office and take out my phone, hoping she texted me, but there’s nothing from her. Looking at the clock, I realize I have about twenty minutes before my next meeting, so I give her a call.

  “Hi.” Her whisper of a breath brings back the way she sounded when we made love.

  Fuck. I miss her.

  “Hey. Sorry if I’m waking you up. How are you?”

  She clears her throat, and I hear movement on the other end. “I wanted to say sorry for the text messages and to know if you have a lawyer?”

  “A lawyer?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why would I need a lawyer, Ashley?”

  There’s silence, and I’m waiting to hear what she has to say.

  “Because of my text messages. You can’t take away my son. He’s my son. I carried him and gave birth to him. I’ve been there since day one.” She’s holding back her tears, and it’s gutting me inside.

  “I don’t have a lawyer, Ashley. I’m not going to take him away from you. You’ve raised our son, and I want a chance to get to know him. Get to know you again.”

  “Can we meet, please?”

  “Of course.” I rattle off my address, and a time for her to come by tonight. “I can make dinner—”

  She interrupts me. “No. No dinner. I’ll be there.”

  Before I can say anything, the call disconnects, and I toss my cell on my desk. Rubbing my face with my hands, I rest my elbows on top of my thighs.

  Fuck.

  I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, and she would fight back, but lawyers? She thought I was going to take him away from her.

  “I’ll never hurt you again, Ashley,” I whisper under my breath. “Never.”

  Chapter 16

  Ashley

  I take a deep breath as I get out of my car and walk toward Clayton’s apartment. His door’s on the outside, so I don’t
need to walk through the building. Before I can knock on the door, it swings open and facing me is Clayton.

  Clayton Turner.

  “Hi.” I nervously say. “I know I’m a little early.”

  He smiles, opening the door wider to let me in. “No worries. Come in and sit down.” I do as he says and find a single cushion chair and sit. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

  I shake my head. “No. I’m fine.” I watch him walk a few steps to the couch, and he sits down, turning his body so he can face me. “How are you?”

  “Doing well. I hope you are too.”

  “Managing. I guess. So, ah, I know you have questions.” He nods his head but doesn’t respond. “Alex. Our son’s name is Alexander, but obviously Alex for short. He turned five in March, and he’s going to start kindergarten when school starts back up.” I reach into my purse and pull out a photo album I made today and hand it to Clayton. “I made that for you. Alex helped.”

  When Clayton’s fingers brush mine, the familiar electric shock comes back, bringing me to how I first felt when we met.

  My eyes don’t leave his hand as it stills, gripping the album and touching my skin. The emotions I buried long ago begin to surface, catching me off guard and pushing me out of my comfort zone.

  There was a time I was angry with the world. Angry with everyone in my life. When the numbness came, I held it close until I hit rock bottom. I was afraid of losing myself to myself. The pregnancy was getting harder, and at one point, I wanted to give up. The door to the clinic was a few feet away. The memory of that day etched itself in my mind. It was a reminder of my weakest moment. I vowed I never would go down that path, and once I let go of the anger and numbness, things got easier.

  I didn’t need or want pity.

  Gina was there for me and stayed by my side. I knew I had to take care of myself, so I took it upon myself to get the help I knew I needed. I went to support groups and read books to encourage the strength within. It helped. As cheesy as it sounded, it helped.

 

‹ Prev