Part-Time Gods

by Rachel Aaron

  I was holding my breath by the time he finished. In fear or hope, though, I couldn’t say. This day had been such a roller coaster of highs and lows I didn’t know what to feel anymore. I still didn’t think Nik’s plan was going to work, but the fact that he was willing to try even after everything that had happened undid me completely. Enough to do something very selfish.

  I kissed him.

  It was more of an attack, really. There was no finesse or grace. I just lurched forward and pressed my lips to his. I definitely caught him by surprise, because Nik’s body jumped beneath mine. Then, before I could think better of my actions, he kissed me back, wrapping his arms around me as his mouth slanted open under mine in welcome.

  I responded by latching onto him like an octopus. It was a terrible, reckless idea on every count. We were both exhausted and emotionally vulnerable, not to mention we were supposed to be running, but I couldn’t stop. I’d been fighting and losing on every front for so, so long, but kissing Nik—actually kissing him, not just taking advantage while he was blitzed on magic—felt like victory. My only victory. No wonder I clung to it with everything I had, reaching down to grab the hem of his shirt with desperate, shaking hands.

  His breathing hitched in surprise when I pulled his shirt up, but he didn’t fight me as I tugged the damp cotton over his head, revealing his metal chest. I’d only been able to look at it in stolen glances through my cameras before, so now I took my time, breaking the kiss to explore the scuffed, flesh-colored metal plates.

  Nik was armored across both shoulders. His left had just a strip of metal running between his collarbone and his real arm, but the plating on the right covered his entire shoulder from the base of his neck straight down into his cyber arm. His false fingers curled just like his real ones when I stroked my hand down the metal arm to his wrist. I did it once more for good measure, and then I moved on to his chest and back. These were both completely covered in interlocking, articulated steel plates that went all the way down into the hem of his jeans. I was reaching for his fly to see just how far down they went when Nik caught my hand.

  “Not here.”

  I looked up in surprise to see him breathing hard, his face flushed but determined. “I’ve thought about this a lot,” he explained at my questioning look. “Not going to waste it on a couch.”

  Now it was my turn to blush. “Then why don’t we—”

  He stood up before I could finish, scooping me up and carrying me into his bedroom like a man on a mission. I clung to him happily, laughing with borderline-manic delight as he locked his door and set me down on his mattress, which was still on the floor since I hadn’t been able to convince him yet that beds were worth the effort of moving. I didn’t mind so much now, though. Honestly, the concrete floor felt safer when Nik knelt down beside me, his metal body crushing the soft foam mattress flat. But when he leaned forward to kiss me down to the bed, he stopped.

  “Are you sure about this?”

  “You mean do I think it’s a good idea?” I asked, grinning at him. “No. But do I want to?”

  I let my actions say the rest as I pulled my own shirt off. The cheap fabric, already ripped from my fight with the bushes, tore even more when I yanked it over my head, but I was way past caring. I was too busy pulling Nik’s mouth back to mine and kissing him until I couldn’t breathe. He kissed me just as hard, peeling off my leggings and cheap sports bra with ruthless efficiency. Determined not to be the most naked, I went in for his jeans next, undoing the button and sliding them down his legs by touch alone. When I finally broke away to see what I was in for, I stopped cold.

  “Whoa.”

  I’d known Nik had a lot of cyber up top, but I hadn’t realized that it went down as well. It wasn’t full coverage like his chest, but the armor plates on his legs still went all the way to his knees. Only on the front and back, though. The sides of his legs and what I could see of his groin under his boxer briefs were still flesh, but heavily scarred. The inner walls of his thighs in particular were a crisscross of incision marks from multiple surgeries. Painful ones from the look of it.

  “What are those from?”

  I didn’t realize how intrusive that question was until it popped out. Fortunately, Nik didn’t seem offended. “Titanium bone lacing, artificial kidney, new liver, and two fake knees,” he replied matter-of-factly, pointing to each scar as he listed them off. “My dermal plating used to stop at my hips, but people like to shoot you in the legs, and I got tired of digging slugs out, so I got it extended.”

  He rapped his metal knuckles against his plated thighs, and my eyes went wide. “Does it hurt?”

  “It did going in,” he said. “Now, though.” He shrugged. “It has its issues like anything else. Stuff breaks and there’s filters to replace and whatnot, but the extra protection’s worth it. I was saving up to get my skull armored next when I realized maybe I didn’t want to do a job where I got shot in the head.”

  “Prudent choice,” I said. Then my eyes dropped to his underwear. “So do you still have…”

  Nik flashed me a wicked grin. “Want to find out?”

  I grinned back and jumped him, pulling off the last of our clothes as we fell into a tangle on the mattress.

  Not gonna lie, I’d imagined sex with Nik plenty of times before. It was only natural. He’d saved my life, he was hot, and we were together all the time, so of course my mind would go there. But while my fantasies had always been as rough and fast as the rest of our lives, the reality was surprisingly sweet. I was in a rush, but Nik refused to be hurried. He stubbornly took his time, touching me as if I was wondrous, making me feel treasured in a way I never had before.

  I was the opposite. I held on to Nik like he was the only thing keeping me from falling, losing myself in the dichotomy of his body, the different temperatures of skin and metal and the heat of his breath in my ear. Eventually, I didn’t even open my eyes anymore. I just clung to him and sank in, letting the physical sensations drive away my fear and my worries and my loss until there was nothing left but this moment where everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

  When it was over, we both flopped back panting, lying splayed out and tangled on his single mattress as if we’d fallen there from orbit. “Well,” Nik said, his deep voice so content he was practically purring. “Guess I need to buy an actual bed now.”

  “Or at least a bigger mattress,” I said, rolling over on my side to grin at him. “So does this mean I don’t have to sleep on the sofa anymore?”

  “Not unless we’re both sleeping there.”

  I didn’t see how that was physically possible unless I was sleeping on top of him, but sweet nothings weren’t supposed to make sense.

  “Let me see what time it is,” Nik said, grabbing his jeans from where I’d flung them into the corner to retrieve his phone from his pocket. “Wow,” he said when he saw it. “It’s late. We should probably get moving if we want to stay ahead of your dad.”

  “Probably,” I murmured, snuggling back up against him.

  Nik made no effort to move me. Logically, I knew we needed to get up. My dad wouldn’t follow false trails forever, and Nik and I had been operating out of this place for weeks. The moment he decided to look into the city, he’d find us, but it was difficult to be properly afraid. Nik’s windowless basement bedroom felt so secret and secure. The only noises were the hum of the AC and the steady rhythm of our breaths, lulling me into thinking about things other than debts and survival.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Shoot,” Nik said.

  I propped myself up on my elbow so I could see his face. “Did you like me before, or is this—” I waved at our tangled bodies “—a recent development?”

  He shrugged. “Does it matter?”

  “Just humor my vanity.”

  Nik chuckled. “It’s definitely not new. I’ve been interested in you from the very first time I saw you at a Cleaning auction.”

  “Really?” I said, flattered. �
�Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

  “Didn’t think it’d be appreciated,” Nik said with brutal honestly. “I could tell you looked down on me.”

  “I didn’t look down on you!”

  He gave me a scathing look. “Please. I know when someone’s afraid of me. You used to flinch every time I sat next to you. You thought I was a thug.”

  I winced at the accurate assessment.

  “I’m not mad about it,” Nik went on. “You weren’t wrong. I was a criminal, and you were clearly a rich girl slumming it with the Cleaners. I didn’t hold your fear against you, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew I didn’t have a chance, so I told myself to just enjoy the view until you got bored and left. But you didn’t leave. You stuck around and stuck around, and eventually I ran out of excuses to stay away.”

  I laughed. “Are you saying you followed me to Dr. Lyle’s house with salacious intent?”

  “I don’t know what that means, but I wasn’t just chasing your tail,” Nik said. “I legitimately wanted to know what the hell you were doing. I didn’t intend for it to go anywhere, but once I fell in with you, it was hard to get out.”

  “My life has been a vortex of crazy,” I agreed.

  “That has nothing to do with it,” he said, pushing up on his side to look at me. “I didn’t want to go. You were beautiful and funny and a damn good Cleaner. You worked your ass off and knew all the fancy stuff I didn’t. You were even better than I’d imagined, and I’d imagined pretty high.” His smile turned into a grin. “You were my jackpot. Why the hell would I leave?”

  I bit my lip, wiggling happily. I’d never been someone’s jackpot before. Not for myself, at least. I’d had plenty of guys go after me as a way of getting to my dad, but Nik was the only person ever who’d wanted me for what I was now. Wanted me as Opal, dragon not included.

  “Well, glad I brought something good to the table,” I said, brushing my tangled hair behind my ear to hide how giddy he’d just made me. “I was worried all you’d gotten out of this partnership was trouble.”

  “That’s okay,” he said. “I liked the trouble, too.”

  “Why?” I asked, baffled. “Are you an adrenaline junkie or something else I should know about?”

  “Not like that,” Nik said. “It’s easy enough to get in over your head in the DFZ without bringing a dragon in. I just meant that I don’t mind your complications. I like helping you. It makes me feel needed.”

  “I tried not to use you,” I said, desperate to make sure he understood.

  “I know,” he assured me. “I noticed that from the beginning, actually, but what really sealed it was when you volunteered to take my name off all the apartments when we went raiding. You didn’t have to do that. My name was on every one of those leases automatically. You could have easily left me on there and stuck me with the bill, but I didn’t even have to worry about it. You took care of every lease, every single one. You took care of me, even when I wasn’t looking. That’s when I knew I could trust you. Really trust.”

  The reverent way he said that went through me in warm tingles. I was still basking in the glow when I suddenly remembered.

  “Oh my god, the apartments!”

  Nik frowned. “What about them?”

  “They’re still in my name!” I said frantically, jumping up to grab my underwear off the doorknob where he’d thrown it. “I can’t vanish into the city! I’m about to default on four hundred units. I have to finish Cleaning them!”

  “Or what?” he asked, settling back on the mattress. “We’re about to quit Cleaning and go on the lam anyway, so it’s not like it matters if the DFZ takes your Master Key. Just let them default.”

  “I don’t want a god pissed at me,” I said, hopping on one foot as I put my pants back on. “And I still owe you three months of work for helping me. I guess I can do that anywhere, but how are we going to make money? My curse is still active, and I can’t do the gold trick anymore. How are we going to live if every job we take only pays half of what it should?”

  “Getting around the curse is easy,” he said. “We’ll just keep you from working.”

  I froze. “What?”

  Nik sat up and casually began putting his clothes back on. “During the first week we were Cleaning together, before you figured out the gold trick, I did some side jobs while you weren’t around to help make ends meet. I didn’t tell you at the time because I didn’t want you to feel bad, but the jobs I did on my own never had problems, even though I was giving the money to you.”

  My eyes were now so wide they hurt. “You gave me money that I didn’t earn?”

  “Come on,” he said. “You didn’t actually think I was selling all that stuff for double what it was worth every time, did you? I inflated the prices and made up the difference by working extra on the side to make sure you got paid.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Why would you do that?”

  “Because you were so freaked out about your curse that you couldn’t focus on anything else,” he said angrily. “You kept going on and on about how you were going to leave. I didn’t want you to leave, so I got you the money. Simple as that.”

  “There’s nothing simple about it!” I cried. “You lied to me!”

  “Not about anything important!” he snapped. “I lied about where the money came from, yeah, but the only person that lie hurt was me. If I don’t care, why should you?”

  “Because I don’t want to be your charity case!”

  “You’re not,” he said. “Charity implies pity, but I’ve never pitied you. I wanted to be with you, so I did what was necessary to make that happen. End of story.”

  “No, it’s not,” I said, furious. “I appreciate why you did it, okay? But your good intentions don’t change how I feel. I don’t want to be dependent on you!”

  “Why not?” he demanded, his voice insulted. “You don’t think I can take care of you?”

  “I don’t want anyone taking care of me! I grew up in a dragon’s house. I’ve seen how impossible it is to have a healthy relationship when one party is entirely reliant upon the other!”

  “I’m not your dad!” he yelled. “I don’t want to own you or lock you up in a vault. I just want to live with you, but living takes money, and since you can’t make that, I’ll have to. And that’s fine. I’ve always worked. I don’t mind working for you. Just let me keep you safe.”

  “But that’s just the problem,” I said desperately. “I don’t want to be kept. The whole reason I did this was so I could be free, and I can’t be that if I need someone else’s help just to make it day to day.”

  “Needing help isn’t a bad thing, Opal,” Nik said quietly, reaching out to smooth my rumpled hair. “You’ve been working yourself to death for months now, but you don’t have to do that anymore. You don’t have to fight. I can support us both. It won’t even be that hard now that we don’t have to worry about your debt. If you don’t try to make money, the curse won’t trigger, so that’s not an issue either. Just come with me. You’ll get to live in comfort and safety, and I’ll get you. It’s a win/win for both of us.”

  I smacked his hand away. “You don’t get me,” I growled. “No one gets me!”

  Nik sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Yes it is!”

  “Why are you so mad?” he demanded. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to support someone!”

  “I’m mad because you’re not listening to me!” I cried. “I told you, I don’t want to be your kept woman!”

  “What else are you going to do?” Nik yelled. “You can’t make money, can’t support yourself, can’t even go outside without your dad hunting you down. Face it, Opal, you’re done. I’m your only option. I’m trying to save you, here. Stop being stubborn and let me!”

  “You don’t get to tell me what my options are,” I snarled, backing away. “Doesn’t matter how bleak it gets, my life belongs to me. Not to my dad, not to a god, and not to you.”

&nb
sp; I turned on my heel and marched out, bashing open his door to storm into the living room. Nik caught me a second later, grabbing my arm as I bent down to snatch my bag off his couch.

  “Let me go,” I said in a cold voice.

  “I will in a second,” he said, tightening his grip. “But first you have to let me—”

  I didn’t warn him again. The next time I turned around, my hand was full with one potato’s worth of magic. I slammed the first one into his arm, knocking him off me. The next two went on his feet and stuck there, their shapes changing to match the image I was frantically imagining of two iron anvils so heavy even Nik couldn’t move them. I wasn’t sure if it had worked until Nik tried to come after me again and almost fell on his face, his feet pinned to the ground by two glowing blobs that did, indeed, look exactly like little anvils.

  “What the hell is that?” he roared, tugging at his feet.

  I looked at him, chest heaving. “Magic,” I said, my voice wondrous. For a long heartbeat, I stood and stared at the miracle I’d worked, and then I turned my back on him. “Don’t follow me.”

  “Opal!”

  But I’d already grabbed my bag and walked out of his apartment, taking the steps outside two at a time back up to the parking lot.

  Chapter 11

  The first thing I did when I reached the sidewalk was reboot Sibyl. I didn’t bring her all the way back online—my mind was still chaotic enough to trigger her emergency intervention mode, and I didn’t want to deal with it—but I turned on enough of my AR to access my bank account, or what was left of it after I’d foolishly paid my dad for nothing.

  I stared at the balance for a long time, then I hit the button to transfer everything to Nik. Not that he deserved it after that fiasco, but I wasn’t going to let him say I’d cheated him. The twenty thousand wasn’t even close to the amount I’d promised in all our various deals, but at least now I could look at myself in the mirror and know I’d given him all I could. Honesty with yourself was important, especially now that I was all I had left.