The Darker Side of Me (Ravana Moon Book 1)

by S. L. Perrine

  I didn’t know what he was doing to me. One minute we were arguing about his possessive nature, and the next I’m making love to him in my own bed. If I’d thought he was bad before I slept with him, it was bound to be worse after. Oh, what have I done?

  One of the reasons I’d always hooked up at the club was because I didn’t want any type of relationship. Something like that made people vulnerable and gave you a weak spot to attack. I’d also witnessed jealousy at its finest. Nothing I ever wanted to be the center of. I’d seen women torn down and beat up because their significant other thought the only way to keep their love alive was to almost kill the one they loved. I didn’t need that. I also don’t want Massimo to be a target because he was smitten with me. I suppose that was too late to change. If anything, I could finally figure out if he wanted to change for me or just because. He’d finally gotten the prize he was after, now for him to prove he wanted a different life.

  Without the formula from Emerick, Massimo wasn’t like me. He could be killed. Then I remembered the iron flakes in my red nail polish. It wouldn’t have been enough to end him, but it would have a regular vamp. Even so, he would have been slightly uncomfortable, like getting a papercut, or a slice from a scalpel. Either way, I caused him pain.

  The sun had risen, and he was sleeping. I turned the bedside light on and looked at his backside as he slept. His back was laden with scratches that were starting to heal. The iron wouldn’t mark him, but I still managed to put him in danger without even thinking about it. I couldn’t be good for him.

  Before I could stop myself, my hand caressed his back and those shallow wounds. They were healing before my eyes, but I couldn’t help feeling responsible for hurting him. His muscles tightened and relaxed at my touch. The killer in me wanted to recoil. To run away from my own bed, my room, and even my apartment. I wanted to get Emerick to give Massimo the same chance at living that he gave me.

  More than anything, I hated the fact that Emerick was right.

  Turning off the table lamp I got out of bed and headed for my bathroom. With the sun up, Massimo would be dead asleep for the next five hours at least. Nothing would wake him. A vamp not changed by Emerick’s crazy experiments would become ash in the sun. They couldn’t wake up till the sun went down. Massimo could withstand sunlight, though it was uncomfortable, and weakening, and he would wake two to three hours before the sun went down. I remembered as much from our time together when I’d been reborn.

  The shower was exhilarating. Instead of blow-drying my hair, I’d put it in a long braid. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt I dressed. One look in the mirror and I was done. My jeans snugged up over my waist, my shoulder exposed where the sweater fell, and my braid laid over my shoulder down to my waist. I slipped on a pair of heels and took one last look at Massimo as he slept. I wished I could stay and sleep the day away with him, but I needed to make sure he was safe before I got too comfortable.

  The streets of Seattle were bustling. Instead of the heel toe express, I hailed a cab. I didn’t know where to look for him, but I figured a guy like him liked to be in the limelight. I instructed the cab driver to drop me at the center of downtown. Not knowing what he looked like, or where he’d be wasn’t going to stop me. I knew if I was out in the open, he’d find me.

  After about an hour of walking around, I was about to change my mind.

  “You weren’t leaving, were you?”

  A whisper from behind made me stop. The heat of his breath touched my neck just as I felt his hand on my hip. “Maybe.”

  “Well, since you were looking for me, I think maybe you should stick around.”

  “Actually, I was looking for you.”

  “Walking around during the day? Of course, you were.” He pressed into the back of me and I turned around, putting distance between us, and finally getting a look at him.

  He was about four inches taller than my five-foot-eight. With my heels on he was eye-level with me. His dark hair was shaggy, and windswept. His eyes were the same bright green as mine and had a small lump on the bridge of his nose. He handed me a pair of sunglasses.

  “Your eyes aren’t used to the sun, Red.”

  Anger boiled inside me. “Don’t call me that,” I hissed back and snatched the glasses away from him. The clouds moved overhead, and I tossed them to the sidewalk.

  “It’s Seattle. In another twenty minutes, it might be pouring rain.”

  “Fair enough.”

  I don’t know if I changed my mind or I just started to feel bad about doing this without Massimo, but I turned away. He was quick to stay on my heels. “You just found me, are you leaving already?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe this was a bad idea.”

  “The memories coming back to you too? Let me guess, you found out your beloved left you at the altar, so you came to ask me what the truth is?”

  I turned to face him so quickly, nobody around would have been able to see the movement. “What?”

  “Massimo, or rather Liam.” He looked at me quizzically. “You didn’t get your memories yet, did you?”

  “No. Am I supposed to?”

  “He hasn’t told you, has he? That’s why you’ve come to find me. You want me to change him to be more like you.” The last part wasn’t a question. “You thought I’d help you. Don’t you see he’s trying to make you something you’re not?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He wants the woman you were before I improved you.”

  “Improved? Is that what you did? You improved me?”

  “Yes, you can be as angry as you’d like, but you know it’s true. As soon as your memories come back to you, which should be any day now, I believe you’ll see that. That’s all I’ve been waiting for. I’ve followed you…all this time. Waiting for that day. That’s how sure of it I am.”

  I hadn’t even made sure my glamour was working. I could only hope he had, as I slapped him across the face, my nails raking against his skin. Each of the cuts healed in seconds. He didn’t look at me with anger, only amusement. He wiped the blood from his face with his finger and licked it clean.

  “Sweet-heart, think of the fun we could have.”

  “You want to have fun? Is that why you made me a monster? Massimo might be trying to reclaim someone who’s gone, but that’s not nearly as bad as what you did to me. You think abandoning me, and then stalking me for a hundred years is going to make me forgive you? You’re out of your mind.” By then I was screaming at the top of my lungs, and nobody around batted an eye.

  “No, I think improving upon what you were and keeping you safe all this time shows the love I have for you. I didn’t abandon you. I’ve been with you every step of the way. Making sure you were able to spread your wings and become what you needed to be. To become who you are. Do you doubt that this version of you is better?”

  “I wouldn’t have any way to determine that. I can’t remember who I was.”

  Suddenly he was in front of me. His scent was thick and smoldering. Cedar mixed with soap. It was intoxicating to the senses. I had to take a step back. My hand going to his chest as he pushed forward.

  “I can help you with that, but you need to come with me.”

  I’d already changed my mind. I couldn’t do any of this without Massimo with me. I wouldn’t just abandon him, the same thing I’ve blamed Emerick for doing all these years, how could I? That was until Emerick told me what Massimo kept from me. Did he really know who he was before?

  “How?” the question left me before I could reconcile what I was going to do.

  “Take you back…home.”

  “How? It’s been so long, it’s bound to be different.”

  “Not in the general sense.” He walked around me as a light mist began to fall from the sky.

  The Seattle weather was the one constant in my life these days. The only thing I could pinpoint and count on.

  “My powers are vast. I have the ability to walk through your mind with you, to open the part of you
r mind that has blocked out those memories. We don’t even have to leave Seattle.”

  I cocked an eyebrow and my hip at the same time. As much as I would have loved to knock the little habit of mine, it happened as an after-thought.

  “Then I’ll meet you later. Where?”

  “No. I can only wait for you for so long, Ravana. You want me to help you, then we do this now. Leave with me. I’ll have you home before your bed cools.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? How often are you watching me?”

  “Enough to know who sleeps alone in your bed right now, but I won’t fault you for it. You come with me and see for yourself. He’s been lying to you.”

  “And, what? You think I’ll just hop in bed with you because you’re going to show me the light? I’m not so easily swayed, and I’ve hated you for a lot longer.”

  “Whatever the case may be. This is my offer.”

  I mulled it over. Taking a few steps clear of the scent of him. I needed a clear head. That’s exactly why I sought him out. I needed answers and I needed him to give me a way to help Massimo.

  “Fine. We can do this your way, but when I leave to go back to my bed, you’ll give me what I need.”

  “For him? You want me to swear to it before you know all the truth?”

  “Yes, because regardless of what you say is true, you did this to him too, and he deserves to have the same chance we do.”

  He raised an eyebrow at me and raked a hand through his hair then rubbed the side of his neck. “Fine. He can have it. I offered it to him before, and he refused. He may refuse this time as well, but I will send you home with it.”

  “I have your word? How do I know you can be trusted?”

  “I’ve been by your side, every day. From the moment you left my estate, to the blood bank in Monterey. I’ve traveled far from home to be by your side at every step. You have my word, my heart, my love, and my life if you should so want it.”

  I nodded and let him take me by the hand. He kept the glamour wrapped tightly around us. Now that I was paying attention, I could feel it against my nerve endings. I would follow him, release my memories as I’d always wanted, and I would help Massimo. The rest would have to fall into place all on its own.

  Rustling in the living room woke me. I moved my arm across the bed and stretched. Then it struck me that the bed was empty. I smelled soap from the bathroom. So, she must have showered already. I rolled onto my back and flung the blankets to the side. A shower sounded like a great idea. I could hear movements from the other room, and voices. The walls must have been laden with iron or something to have soundproofed it. I could let the girls discuss business since I knew everything Red would have to catch Delia up on.

  The water inside the shower coating the wall was cold. I stored that away for future information. If she was an early riser, I’d have to try to wake up with her to get a little fun in before she got ready for her day. I thought about how she touched every last inch of me, and how I took my time savoring her in every way possible. The next time I would take even more.

  The shower woke me. The heat felt good against my skin. I could more than expect another cold and rainy night while we searched the city for more clues. I would have to visit Nunzio and his mate in their new housing and see if Nunz was able to find out anything.

  By the time I dressed in my Jeans and t-shirt from the day before I was ready for a blood bag and a change of clothes. Red wouldn’t mind if I snuck downstairs while she and Delia discussed work. The girls were over by Ravana’s desk when I emerged from the room. Red liked to check her email first thing while she had her coffee and pastry. That much I’d learned since arriving.

  My floor was hopping with activity. A few new residents were on the other side of the silver-plated walls. I listened as I made my way through to my own apartment. The gold handle turned easily and when I entered the main room I found I wasn’t alone. Two men wearing PCI jackets were moving around my apartment like they owned the place.

  “Excuse me, but this unit is occupied.”

  “Sir, are you Massimo?”

  “Yes, who are you? Why are you in my place?”

  “We’re looking for Ms. Moon. She’s been MIA since early this morning.”

  I looked at the clock. It was just pushing six in the evening. “I don’t get it. She was just upstairs when I left her place.”

  “I’m pretty sure you’re mistaken. Her Keeper, Delia called us when she saw Ms. Moon leaving the building at around seven this morning. Where were you coming from just now?”

  “I was up in her bedroom. When I woke, she was in the kitchen with Delia. She was just upstairs.”

  “And what were you doing in her bedroom?”

  “What do you think I was doing?” I walked into my room and removed my shirt from last night. I moved back out to the living area as I pulled a clean shirt over my head. “This is ridiculous. She’s upstairs. You people are so overly dramatic.”

  I turned to leave the room and the man grabbed me by the arm. I looked down at his hand like I’d love to snap his little human fingers and he moved from my side. “We’ll need to take you in for questioning.”

  “Try.” I blurred from the room. The hallway was filling with more PCI jackets. I blurred into the elevator that was occupied by four more agents. I rounded them up and hit the button just before I threw them into the hall.

  The top floor came into view when the doors opened into Red’s apartment. “Ravana?” I called through the room and headed to where I heard her earlier. “I just went to get a change of clothes, love. My floor is full of …” I stopped in my tracks. A PCI jacket was standing over Ravana’s computer next to Kelly and Delia. Ravana was nowhere to be seen. “Where is she?”

  “I don’t know. Where were you?” Delia asked in an accusatory tone.

  “I was asleep.”

  “Your apartment was empty. We’d thought you were gone as well.” Kelly stepped in.

  “Did you bother checking Ravana’s? Cause that’s where I was. I fell asleep with her in my arms.”

  Kelly and the PCI agent turned their backs to me, shifting their focus back to the computer. “Delia, he’d have been dead to the world once the sun came up. He’s not going to be any help.”

  Delia’s big blue eyes looked like they would spill over at a moment’s notice. “I know where she is then.”

  Kelly looked back to the Keeper. Her hand caressing the blonde’s face. “Where?”

  Delia looked at Kelly, a single tear escaped her eye. “She went to Emerick, to get a cure for him.” The way her eyebrows arched at me made my heart plummet to the pit of my stomach.

  The way she spoke was acid on her tongue. She was blaming me for Ravana’s disappearing act. She would have gone after Emerick to free me of my ailment. To make me like her. To fix me. If she hadn’t found him, she’d have been back by now. If she had found him, she would do whatever he asked to get what she wanted.

  My heart, that thing that shouldn’t be beating, thudded against my chest. I could feel all the blood in my body as it beat against my temples. How could I have been so stupid? I should have told her all of it. He’s no doubt going to use it against me to hold her hostage or try to turn her against me. It wasn’t that I didn’t have faith in her. It was just they were too evenly matched, but Emerick was older and stronger. He was also smart enough to lie to her to get his own way.

  Think. I had to think. I knew where he’d been staying. I visited once a few years ago. His little-hidden castle in the city of darkness. The light was always better the higher you went. Up above the clouds.

  “I know where he has her.” I moved to the elevator. I needed to visit a room downstairs before I left.

  “Wait.” The PCI agent grabbed me by the arm. Again, another human thought too rashly for their own good. She thought better of it, like her co-worker from downstairs and released me. “You should tell us where and let us handle it. We’ve been after him for a long time. I can’t let you go
alone.”

  “I’d like to see you stop me.”

  “I might not be a vamp, but we do employ more than the two of you.”

  “I don’t give a rat’s ass, lady. He’s too strong for anyone you have up your thinly insulated sleeves. Whoever you send will only come out in a body bag, or rather as a pile of ash.”

  “That doesn’t stop the fact that we are sending someone. So, you can either let him tag along or you can be detained.”

  “If you detain me, how will you find him? And what’s all this him shit anyway? The whole point of this is to save Red.”

  “I’m not nearly as interested in your girlfriend as I am in getting to the Ancient One.”

  “So, you’d risk her life?” I glared wide-eyed at Kelly and Delia while talking to the agent.

  “In a word…yes.”

  In a flash of movement, I never even caught, Kelly pulled a taser and shot the agent. The woman jerked and twitched, her flesh starting to smell like it was being charbroiled before Kelly let go of the trigger.

  “What the hell was that?”

  “Always be aware of your surroundings.” She yanked on the taser, which left holes in the agent’s lower back.

  “I guess so,” was all I could muster.

  Delia looked at me wide-eyed. “Well, what are you waiting for? Go get our girl.”

  “You got it.” I blurred to the elevator and pressed the button. The damn thing moved too slow, and I had to stop myself from pounding a fist through the wall. Red wouldn’t be happy with me when she got back if I defaced her building. So, I drummed my fingers against my thigh as the metal box moved downward.

  Glamour would work outside, but in a hall full of silver I didn’t think it would set right. I used it anyway. Trying to keep the agents off my back once the elevator opened up. I moved slow, even though I wanted to blur through. Glamour would let them see one of their own walking around. If I used my speed, they’d know it was me. When I got in front of that last door on the left I turned my back to it with my hand on the handle. It turned easily, and I pushed back with my body until I was all the way in the apartment turned armory.