A Springful of Winters
Page 13
“Too many? What do you mean?”
“Six weeks before he left, my mum died.”
“Oh god.” Stephan’s face goes very pale. “That’s awful.”
“I don’t remember a great deal about those weeks. I know Harry found it very hard to deal with the fact that I was really not dealing with anything at all. So he left me to not-deal with it all by myself. If it hadn’t been for Yenta, I might have ended up homeless on the streets—in hospital, even. I think I was very close to being committed.”
“Really? You seem pretty sane to me.”
“Perhaps now. But then…” I wiggle my hand “…not so much.”
“And Harry, he never came back?”
“No. He did try to call me, but I never could hold a decent conversation on the phone. He took that to mean I didn’t want to speak to him and that I hadn’t actually felt anything for him at all in the two years we’d been together. You probably guessed that there’s a lot of things I’m not very good at. And it’s not from lack of trying. It’s just the way my brain works.”
“But there’s an equal amount of things you are very good at, Kit. In some cases, you’re an expert, judging by the content of these books.” He points to the one in his hand and gives me a rather candid look, flicking his eyebrows. “I think I need a lot more practice at some of these things, with an expert as my tutor.”
“Oh, you mean first aid, obviously,” I say with a slight smirk because I know he really means sex. He snorts.
“Er, no, not quite, but there are healing qualities to the other activities.”
He’s quiet for a little while and then he speaks again.
“I think we touched on a very heavy subject just now.”
“Weight has nothing to do with it, but yes, it is a difficult thing to talk about. Harry said he loved me, and I thought I loved him, but perhaps I didn’t, because I didn’t really miss him, once I’d got over the initial shock and the antidepressants started to work. I miss my mum, but not him. Perhaps that’s just me, not understanding any of it. Perhaps I’m not even capable of feeling the same as other people.”
“Kit, your feelings are no less relevant just because you experience them in a different way. Besides, this Harry was the emotional numpty. I’ve said this before, but it bears saying again: Harry is an arse.”
“Right.” I don’t really want to talk about Harry anymore, so I change the subject and hope he doesn’t mind. “Going back to your original question, about contingency plans. Do you think I might need one?”
“I think you might need one very soon,” he says, the spring-light hovering in his eyes as he meets my gaze.
“Oh,” I whisper, swallowing hard. “I don’t really know what to say now, because I don’t think I’m ready to say it back. It’s the wrong time, and the wrong order. There are things we need to do before either of us says anything like that.”
“I know.” He nods. “I understand now that I’ve read these.” He pats the books on his knee before turning to face me so he’s sitting sideways on the sofa. “Kit, I’m going to make you a deal.”
“I… Okay. Deals are things I understand really well since I have a degree in business studies.”
“Bloody hell, really?” His mouth opens wide in shock.
“Don’t sound so surprised.”
“I’m not surprised because you have a degree, Kit. That’s brilliant, but you and I are going to have to work on our information sharing, you know, so you don’t drop any more bombshells when I’m trying to focus on something else entirely.”
“You’re the one who mentioned some sort of deal,” I remind him. “So my statement was relevant.”
“Okay, okay.” He chuckles, holding his hands up in surrender.
I wait, but I’m not as patient as Stephan, so I speak before he’s ready. “Well, come on, then, what’s this deal?”
He regards me with narrowed eyes before taking a breath to speak.
“I won’t say that big-little word until I’m sure that you’ve got a contingency plan ready, and definitely not until I am absolutely certain, without a doubt, that I will never ever leave.”
“Right.” There he goes again, knowing just exactly what to say and telling me he’ll wait without him ever being told he has to. But how long is he willing to wait this time? “What if it takes me forever to make my plan?”
“Then I’ll wait forever, Kit. I’m not planning on doing anything else, or going anywhere. I’ll be right here waiting.”
“And what if it takes until the next time we have a springful of winters? That could be decades.”
“Then that’s how long I’ll wait, my lovely, lovely boy.” He holds out his arms for me to decide whether or not I want to be held. I do this time. Perhaps I will every time with him, because he makes it all so unconditional.
“Not a boy, remember?” I remind him, as I snuggle into his side, feeling safer there than I ever did anywhere else. Stephan’s arms wrap tightly around me, holding me in his warm, safe cocoon. “But thank you, Stephan. I think you’re lovely too, and I think I shall enjoy this forever business.”
“Oh Kit, me too.”
The End
Well, not really the end; it’s actually just the beginning. I mean, sometimes people write ‘the end’ and they don’t mean that it’s the end of the story, just the end of what they’re willing to write.
“Kit, mate, come to bed.” Stephan calls from the bedroom, sounding uncharacteristically impatient.
“Okay Stephan, don’t have a cow.”
I don’t mean that literally. I don’t think he’s really going to have a cow if I don’t come to bed right now.
“Mate, who are you talking to?”
“No one, Stephan, just my contingency plan notebook for dealing with boyfriends who snore.”
“I do not snore.”
“You don’t have to listen to it. Believe me, you snore.”
Really The End or I do actually believe Stephan will have a cow.
Author’s Note
Kit has Asperger syndrome, which is an autism spectrum disorder. Autistic people experience the world in a very different way to other people. They have specific difficulties with social interaction and communication. They can also have some sensory processing difficulties, which means they could have higher sensitivities to smells, tastes, touch, light and noise.
There are currently around 700,000 autistic people in the UK. That is more than 1 in 100. The condition does tend to affect men more than women, although we are slowly beginning to understand that women’s autism presents in far more subtle ways than men’s.
Kit’s wish, if you will remember, was to write a manual to help people to understand him and be a little more accepting of his differences. It is the wish of most who are affected by autism that the wider world becomes more aware of the difficulties that they face every day. A little more knowledge and understanding equals a lot more acceptance.
For those of you who would like to know more about autism, or have in some way been affected by the issues explored in this book, here are some links that might be helpful.
https://www.autism.org.uk
https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum
https://www.autism-society.org
http://www.autismeurope.org
Autism charities around the world:
https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/outside-uk/round-world.aspx
Autism Network International:
https://www.autismnetworkinternational.org
Assistance dogs:
http://www.assistancedogs.org.uk
YouTube currently has a wealth of information on autism, with many people sharing their own experiences with Asperger syndrome and autism spectrum disorders through video blogs. One such ‘vlog’ is Aspie World, which, along with others, was one I watched quite a lot while writing this story, and that, along with my own experiences, both professionally and personally, helped me a great deal w
hen trying to put myself in Kit’s shoes (even though I don’t think they would actually fit me).
https://www.youtube.com/user/AspieWorld1
Seasons of Love
Love follows no rules. Like sun in winter and rain in summer, love can blossom in the most unexpected places. This richly diverse collection of stories proves that love is as universal and as varied as the seasons.
The Stories:
Tourist Season – Deven Balsam
Machete Betty and the Office Sharks – Neptune Flowers
Once Around Seven – Ofelia Gränd
Winter Blossoms – Paul Iasevoli
Year of the Guilty Soul – A.M. Leibowitz
The Great Village Bun Fight – Debbie McGowan
A Springful of Winters – Dawn Sister
Out of Season – Bob Stone
Seashell Voices – Alexis Woods
Courting Light – A. Zukowski
Available as a complete anthology (ebook/paperback)
and as individual stories (ebook + longer stories in paperback).
For more information/purchase links, visit:
www.beatentrackpublishing.com/SeasonsofLove
About Dawn Sister
Dawn is from the North East of England. Her life is spent juggling. The juggling balls are: children, husband, work (occasionally), voluntary work, professional knitting (notice she doesn’t class this as work), and writing. When she has time she actually sleeps.
The whole point of writing for Dawn is just to get it all off her chest and out of her head. If she doesn’t write it down then she ends up having long conversations with the characters out loud and her husband thinks she’s crazy.
Contact & Media
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By Dawn Sister
Dazzled By The Light
The Halloween Incident
See You Smile (Love’s Landscapes)
Merry F***cking Christmas
Eagle Man and Mr Hawk (Love is an Open Road)
Not a Word (Love is an Open Road)
Locked in the Moment (Love Unlocked)
A Springful of Winters (Seasons of Love)
Beaten Track Publishing
For more titles from Beaten Track Publishing,
please visit our website:
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Thanks for reading!