Dangers of Love

by M. S. Parker

  The numbers caught up to me, and the surprise must’ve registered on my face because it prompted a question.

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  “Just surprised at how much older your parents are than mine. Da doesn’t turn sixty until next August, and Mom’s five years younger than him.”

  “They had a hard time getting pregnant,” Aline said. “Hard enough that they decided to use a surrogate. Mom was thirty-eight when Freedom was born. A few years later, they’d just started talking about adopting when, surprise, Mom gets pregnant with me.” She gave a soft smile. “I was their miracle baby, and it wasn’t an easy pregnancy. Six weeks early and both of us could’ve died.”

  And now I understood her family’s overprotectiveness much better. The death of my mother and of Mom’s first husband had made both Da and Mom worry a little more than a lot of parents would, and a couple of us had gotten in some dangerous situations, but I couldn’t imagine going through what the Merciers had gone through.

  “Do you mind if I ask about your family?”

  “Not at all.” I smiled. “But most people have to take notes because it can get a little confusing.”

  We spent the rest of the meal swapping stories about our families. Even though we’d both been born into money, we’d had very different experiences growing up. A few times, I wondered if it was a good idea, having this sort of conversation when she was at odds with her family, but except for a little wistfulness I caught once in a while, she didn’t steer us away from the subject.

  The time flew by, and before I knew it, we were in my car, heading back to the apartment she shared with Martina. I wasn’t about to just drop her off in front of the building, so I pulled into the lot and found a space to park.

  Before I could do anything more than reach for my seatbelt, Aline was reaching for me, her hands going around the back of my neck as she pulled me to her for a kiss.

  I let her have control for several seconds, just enjoying the feel of her mouth against mine, but then I took over.

  My hands in her hair, sliding down her back. The soft skin just above the waist of her pants. Lips parted, and tongues touched, explored. Territory that was familiar but still exciting.

  Blood rushed south as I grabbed her waist and pulled her onto my lap. I groaned as she settled with a leg on either side, core pressing down on my rock-hard erection. The eager little noises she made as she rocked against me had me desperate with the need for more.

  I caught her bottom lip between my teeth, lightly tugging on it, and then I slid my hands under her shirt, the heat of her skin sending a wave of warmth through my entire body. I’d never wanted a woman the way I wanted her, and though it would take some maneuvering, I knew I could be inside her within a minute. That wet heat squeezing my dick until I exploded.

  The thought came to me then that I was the only man to know what it felt like to have her like that, and something sparked deep in me. Not jealousy, exactly, but the desire to keep things that way. Me not just being her first, but her only.

  My mouth moved from her lips to her jaw and down her throat. She tossed her head back, and I kissed my way down her neck, pausing to worry at the skin over her collarbone, fighting the urge to mark her, claim her as mine. I hadn’t earned that right.

  Yet.

  It was that thought that stopped me, had me pulling my hands from under her shirt. Her fingers were between us, on the button to my pants, and I caught her wrists.

  “You don’t want…” Her words trailed off, and the flush in her cheeks deepened.

  “I want,” I assured her. “Fuck, Aline, I want so much.”

  “But?” The word was cautious, as if she was waiting to hear my answer before she reacted.

  “But as much as I want you, I want to do this right.” I closed my eyes, hardly believing what I was going to say. “I think we should take it a little slower this time.”

  I waited for her response, heart thudding against my ribcage.

  “Not because that’s what everyone else would say?”

  I opened my eyes and shook my head, relieved at her question. “I don’t give a fuck what anyone else says or thinks. This is between you and me.”

  She put her hand under my chin and lifted until I had no choice but to see her. “Good answer.”

  She brushed her lips across mine, a kiss far more chaste than the others we’d shared, and then climbed back into her seat.

  “Give me a second, and I’ll walk you up,” I said. “Don’t need anyone calling the cops on me for public indecency.”

  When she gave me a puzzled look, I gestured toward the tent in my pants. A new rush of color flooded her cheeks, tempting me to take back what I’d said just so I could try to make all of her turn that pretty shade of red.

  I kept my head on straight, though. I really did want this to work.

  Six

  Aline

  The moment I walked into the apartment, Martina was there, demanding to hear all about my date. It wasn’t late, so we shared a pint of fudge ripple ice cream, and I filled her in on everything – though I did cut back on the details of the make-out session.

  I wanted to be alone when I finally let myself think about that, which meant it wasn’t until I stepped into the shower that I allowed myself to recall each delicious moment of my night, from the delight in Eoin’s eyes when I’d agreed to go out with him, all the way up to the light kiss he’d given me outside the door to the apartment.

  Once I reached the end of my trip down recent memory lane, I was back to being as worked up as I had been when I’d first gotten out of the car. My entire body was humming with unfulfilled desire. It was strange. I’d gone through adolescence without sex and never felt like I’d missed out. I hadn’t regretted the times I’d turned down dates, ignored romantic possibilities.

  Now, I craved that physical contact. Sex. With Eoin. When I’d kissed him, that had been where I’d seen things going. To bed. With him. Again.

  Was this normal? I knew there were men who didn’t want to be a girl’s first because they feared she’d misconstrue pleasure for love. I’d always believed that if I went into all sexual experiences without expectation of any connection beyond the physical, I wouldn’t fall into that trap. Now, I was starting to wonder if the stereotype of the clingy virgin had some scientific basis. Would another man have made me feel the same way if he’d been my first?

  Or was it just Eoin?

  I could picture him, every inch of that amazing body of his, and not just how he looked either. I could recall the texture of the hair on his legs, the thin trail down his torso. I knew the lines that defined his muscles and the scars that were as much a part of him as everything else.

  My hand slid down my stomach, and I imagined it was his long fingers delving between my legs and slipping over my clit. A shiver ran through me, and I closed my eyes. A quick circle over that bundle of nerves brought back everything that had built up inside me while Eoin and I had been kissing, when his hands had been on me.

  I let those feelings, those memories, that pressure, bubble up, fill me with more and more pleasure until I finally exploded, gasping his name as I came. My breath came in ragged gasps, and I leaned my forehead against the wall, waiting for my body to come back to itself.

  Maybe I’d actually be able to sleep tonight.

  Seven

  Aline

  I woke up with a smile on my face and lazily stretched my arms above my head. Martina had to open the boutique today, so I already knew that I was the only one in the apartment. She never made demands of me, and she wasn’t a noisy roommate, but the entire time I’d been here, I’d felt the need to be up and moving around if she was. Today, though, I could take my time because I didn’t go back to work until tomorrow.

  The only thing I had to do today was call my parents. I’d put it off long enough. I knew staying out of touch was causing them stress, and I hated it, but keeping quiet for the past week was the only way I’d been able to think
of to get through to them that I was serious. I’d also needed the time to get my head together and figure out what I wanted to say when I did finally talk to them.

  Now, I was as ready as I’d ever be.

  Well, I would be, once I had breakfast.

  I considered procrastinating a little longer after I’d finished eating, but I forced myself to take care of my dishes and then made the call. I used my old phone since my parents never answered numbers they didn’t recognize, but I deleted all the voicemails and texts I’d gotten while I’d kept it off unheard and unread.

  They’d all been from my parents and Freedom, anyway.

  “Aline?!” Mom’s voice was frantic, and a stab of guilt shot through me.

  I couldn’t let that distract me or make me reconsider what I had to say. “Hi, Mom. Is Dad nearby? I’d like to talk to you both at the same time.”

  “Oh, yes, just a minute.”

  I could hear her calling for my dad, and then, about half a minute later, Mom put the call on speaker. I imagined they were sitting in the front room, enjoying their usual after-breakfast cups of tea and coffee.

  “We’re both here, dear,” Mom said finally.

  “What’s wrong? Are you in trouble?”

  Dad’s questions had me closing my eyes and counting to five. Of course, that would be exactly where his mind went. Another time, I could’ve written it off as completely natural concern, but taken in context, it was just another part of the whole problem.

  “I’m not in trouble,” I said calmly. “I needed time to think before we talked, and we need to talk.”

  “Is Freedom with you?” Mom asked.

  Another count of five.

  “No, Mom. I’m staying with Martina, and I haven’t talked to Freedom yet.”

  “Martina? Martina Chavez?” Mom sounded surprised.

  I wondered if that surprise was because they hadn’t thought to reach out to her or if they hadn’t realized that Martina and I had maintained our friendship this long. They’d always liked her, so it wasn’t an issue of that, but I suspected they’d never really given any thought or consideration to any relationships I’d formed on my own.

  “Yes. I’m staying in her guestroom right now.” My stomach churned as I forced myself to bring up the main reason I’d called rather than just sending a text to let them know I was okay. “We need to talk about why I left, and this isn’t easy for me, but it needs to be said.”

  There was a long pause, and I imagined them looking at each other in concern. Dad finally broke the silence. “All right. We’re listening.”

  My teeth grated together. I wished I could be certain that it was only my imagination that he was speaking with the same indulgent tone he’d used when I was a child, but there was a good chance that it wasn’t in my head.

  “I love you both, I want you to know that. You’ve always given me everything I needed, and you’ve always had my best interests at heart.” Emotion threatened to choke me, but I swallowed it down. “But I’ve been suffocating slowly. I thought when I turned eighteen, the same age Freedom was when she went to college, things would change, that you’d start treating me like an adult. And I thought the same thing when I turned twenty-one. Then again when I graduated from college. But all of you still treat me like a child. Like I can’t take care of myself.”

  I took a slow breath and released it.

  Before either of them could speak, I plowed on. “And part of it is my fault. I never told you how I felt. I just let it happen. Maybe I thought everything would magically straighten out on its own. Maybe a part of me liked not having to think about adult issues. Either way, this isn’t all on any of you.”

  “We-we never knew.” Mom’s voice didn’t sound as steady as it normally did. “We just want you to be safe.”

  “I know.” I paced over to the window. “And I should’ve brought it up sooner. This never should’ve come out the way it did. That’s on me. But Freedom completely overstepped her bounds when she interfered in my private life.”

  I didn’t explain that it wasn’t the first time she’d put herself between Eoin and me. I also didn’t share that she’d gone to him after I’d left to blame him for me walking out. Those were things that I’d need to discuss with her at some point. But not any time soon. I wasn’t even close to being ready for that discussion.

  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Mom said quietly. “We’ve only ever wanted to protect you. And that’s not an excuse. We should have done better.”

  “We will do better,” Dad said. “I just ask that you be patient with us. It’s not an easy thing, letting a child go.”

  I swallowed hard around the lump forming in my throat. I’d hoped that the conversation would go well, but I honestly hadn’t known how my parents would react to all I was feeling.

  “Of course.” Relief wrapped itself around me like a warm blanket. This was going better than I’d expected. “I know you’ve always had my best interest at heart, and the last thing I want to do is cause you more stress, especially after what I put you through with the kidnapping and–”

  “You were not responsible for what happened.” Dad’s voice was sharp. “Do not take that on yourself.”

  “Thank you.” I cleared my throat, blinking back some unexpected tears. “Thank you for saying that and for listening to me. Seeing where I’m coming from.”

  After a few seconds of silence, Mom asked, “Will you be coming home for Christmas?”

  I appreciated that she’d only asked about the holidays, not if I’d come back now that we’d talked, but I wasn’t ready to promise anything yet. “Probably.”

  “And your sister?” The hesitation in Dad’s voice was clear.

  “I don’t want her to worry. You can tell her that I talked to you and that I’m okay, but I don’t want her knowing where I am.” I hated myself for saying it, but it was the truth. “I don’t know if she’ll respect my wishes to give me space.”

  The fact that they didn’t immediately defend her and say that she’d do as I asked told me that I wasn’t off base in my assessment.

  “Would you mind…” Mom sniffed, and I hated to be the one to make her sad. “Would it be okay for us to call you sometimes? Just to check in.”

  I smiled, even though they couldn’t see it. “I’d like that.”

  “You know if you need to come home, you can come back anytime, right?” Dad’s voice was gruff with emotion. “I’m not asking you to, don’t get me wrong. I just want to make sure you know that it’s always an option.”

  “I know, Dad. And if I need to, I will, but right now, I’m good.”

  We talked for a few more minutes, with me telling them about working with Martina and them telling me about the neighbor’s new dog. When we hung up, I felt better. Sort of, anyway.

  I’d been nauseous the last couple days, the stress of the last few weeks finally catching up to me, but I’d hoped talking to my parents today would make it better. Instead, my queasy stomach was still taking its time in settling down despite the toast I’d eaten.

  Maybe I needed to go to the doctor, I thought as I pulled up my calendar on my phone to check my schedule. It wasn’t until I saw a reminder that I’d missed. A reminder that I’d promised Freedom I’d make an appointment to see Dr. Rhimes, my gynecologist.

  Dammit.

  What twenty-two-year-old woman couldn’t remember to schedule an appointment with their gynecologist after having sex for the first time?

  I sighed and pulled up the number on my phone. It wasn’t an emergency, but I did need to go. Not to keep a promise to Freedom, but because that’s what a responsible woman should do.

  Eight

  Eoin

  So far, so good.

  It’d been a week and a half since Aline and I had gone to The Mar Vista and then made out in my car like a couple horny teenagers. We’d talked every day since then and had seen each other every other day, even if it’d just been fifteen or twenty minutes at lunch. We’d fooled around a
bit but hadn’t had sex. In the past ten days, I’d taken more cold showers and jacked off more than I had since I was a teenager.

  The crazy thing was, I’d enjoyed all of it, even with pretty much non-stop blue balls. I still wanted her like crazy, but I didn’t feel like everything else was only emotional foreplay to get her into bed. I liked talking to her, spending time with her.

  On the surface, we seemed like complete opposites, but the more we talked, the more we saw that our differences complemented each other. Better, the things we had in common were the important ones. We both loved our families but appreciated being independent too. We liked the idea of traveling but wanted to have a stable home to come back to.

  We’d had the travel conversation yesterday, which had gotten me thinking about us maybe going away for a weekend. With Christmas being a Wednesday this year, we could make it a long weekend, leaving Friday and coming–

  “Head’s up.” Cain knocked on the office door. “Conference room. We’ve got a job.”

  My plans for between Christmas and New Year’s would have to wait. Maybe that was for the best since I didn’t know what either of our work schedules would be over the holidays. Besides, a surprise might not be the best idea. With my recent luck, I’d plan a trip to somewhere Aline hated.

  I sat down next to Dez and pushed everything else to the back of my mind. I knew I’d been lucky that Cain hadn’t flat-out fired me after he found out that I’d slept with Aline. And he’d been great about reworking things with the bodyguard job I’d missed while I’d been with Israel and Nana Naz. I wasn’t about to give him anything less than a hundred and ten percent.

  “All right, we’ve been hired as extra security for Edwin Moss,” Cain began.

  “The actor?” Bruce lifted an eyebrow. “Did someone give his latest movie a bad review?”

  “Since he came out two months ago, he’s apparently been getting death threats. Someone decided to step it up, though, and broke into his hotel room in Vegas. He’s there doing a charity poker tournament and is then heading to San Diego to spend Christmas with his boyfriend.”