Dangers of Love

by M. S. Parker

  “Do all ex-military still make their beds like that after they’re discharged?” Her eyes were twinkling as she looked up at me.

  “All the guys I know still do,” I said, letting myself tease a bit. “Not that I’ve seen a lot of guys’ beds.”

  She laughed, her gaze moving to the dresser I’d brought from my parents’ house. I’d gotten it when I was fourteen, and once, pissed off at my parents for something, I’d carved fuck into the top of it. When Da had seen it, he hadn’t yelled. Instead, he’d told me to carve every curse word and insult I knew all over the dresser. I’d looked at him like he was crazy, but I’d done it. And I’d loved it.

  At first.

  After a couple weeks, however, seeing those words carved there made me feel uncomfortable and a little guilty, especially when my parents or siblings came into my room. Finally, two months had passed, and I’d been tired of seeing it all the time, so I’d asked Da if I could get a new dresser. He’d said no and handed me sandpaper. He’d told me that once I’d sanded the entire dresser to the point where the words couldn’t be seen, I’d be allowed to paint it.

  I’d never vandalized anything else.

  “What’s that look for?” Aline asked. “Is there a story here?”

  I chuckled and then told her what I’d been thinking about. She laughed too and stepped farther into the room, reaching out to touch one of the few things I had on my walls. A picture of my family a few months after Maggie was born. It was the last that we had of all of us together. Ma died six or seven months after it had been taken.

  “Your biological mother?” Aline’s voice was soft.

  “Shannon.” Familiar sadness went through me as I said her name.

  “That one’s you, isn’t it?” Aline pointed.

  I nodded. “Yeah, the one with the big ears.”

  She laughed, but it was a sweet sound, the kind that said she understood that while I loved this picture, it hurt me too.

  “She was beautiful.”

  “She was,” I agreed.

  I took Aline’s hand and just stood there for a moment before continuing with the tour. The master bathroom didn’t look much different since all I’d done was put out a few things and some cheap towels. Linen and stuff like that were things that I thought Aline would like to choose.

  “There’s one more thing I want to show you,” I said.

  We moved from the bedroom, and I let go of her hand to open the door to the room across the hall. My palms were sweaty, my blood rushing in my ears. This was it, the main reason I’d asked her over this evening.

  I flipped on the light and heard her gasp.

  “I didn’t do a lot because I thought we should plan it together, but the one thing I saw in my head when I pictured the nursery was a rocking chair like the one Ma had when I was a baby.”

  “Oh, Eoin.”

  I finally looked at her, and her eyes were filled with tears, but she was smiling.

  “It’s perfect,” she whispered.

  I’d needed to see how she reacted to the chair before I could know if the next part of my plan was a good idea. She loved the chair, so it was time.

  I dropped to one knee as I pulled a small box out of my pocket. A trip to the jewelry store I’d be guarding this weekend had led me to the simple but elegant engagement ring I held out to her.

  “Aline, from the moment I saw you, my life was changed. I looked into the future and saw you. Now I see you and the family we’ll have together. Will you marry me?”

  Twenty-Six

  Aline

  I was still asleep, and the stress of the last couple months was giving me strange dreams. That was the only explanation I could come up with as to why Eoin was down on one knee, a beautiful ring in a velvet box in his hand. Because there was no other possible scenario that led to him saying such sweet, romantic things and then proposing.

  Right?

  Except I remembered waking up and having breakfast with Martina before we both went to work, her for a ten-hour shift and me for five. Silverton Designs wasn’t as packed as most retail places the day before Christmas Eve, but it was busy enough for Martina to pick up some extra hours and give me something to do so I wasn’t sitting around, worrying and wondering what would happen when I finally talked to Eoin…

  Maybe that was what was happening here. I’d sat down after my shift ended, and exhausted, had dozed off. Since I’d already been thinking about Eoin and what he could have planned, my overworked brain had created the current situation.

  Except marriage hadn’t even been on my radar. At all. Yes, I’d been thinking about how Eoin and I might work things out so that he could be a regular part of our child’s life no matter what stage we were at in our relationship, but a proposal tonight hadn’t crossed my mind. Honestly, I even would’ve been surprised if he’d simply mentioned us moving in together, probably with me having my own room.

  Only seconds had passed, thoughts firing across my synapsis almost too fast to fully process. The shock I was certain showed on my face allowed me those few moments without turning things awkward, but I couldn’t stretch that out forever. I needed to respond.

  I wasn’t prepared. My head was spinning, and I wondered if I’d faint. Part of me almost wished for it. If I passed out, I could put off yet another life-altering choice. Never before had I wished so hard for the ground to open and swallow me up.

  Life was funny. I had wanted my family to treat me like an adult and respect my decisions, even if they disagreed. I’d wanted it so much that I’d walked away from them to prove that I could take care of myself.

  And since that moment, I’d been faced with the type of adult decisions I never dreamed I’d need to make at this point in my life.

  But I refused to go back to how things had been. I had something to prove, not only to my family but to myself. If I couldn’t cope with surprises, then what chance did I have to succeed on my own?

  Which brought up another question. If I accepted Eoin’s proposal, was I really still doing things on my own?

  “Aline?”

  The worry in Eoin’s voice pulled me out of my head. He looked concerned but not embarrassed, which meant he was most likely still thinking that I was too surprised to speak. He would have accounted for the initial shock, but I was on borrowed time.

  “Yes.” The word came out before I realized I’d made a decision. I hadn’t weighed the options, considered the pros and cons, but as soon as I said it, the fear that had been building up inside me vanished. I had no doubt that I’d be terrified again at some point, but at least I wouldn’t be frightened alone.

  And I hadn’t gone back to my parents or Freedom.

  Eoin was my choice, and I was his. This was our life together.

  “Yes?”

  I smiled and leaned down to give him a kiss. “Yes.”

  He slid the ring onto my finger as he stood, his smile stretched from ear to ear. My heart skipped a beat, and it had nothing to do with anxiety. It was all him. No matter how scared I was, how concerned about the future, I still wanted him, in part because of the pure physical attraction, but also for one other very specific reason.

  He made me feel safe.

  And right now, safety was a very big turn-on.

  He ran his thumb over the ring, his skin brushing against mine so lightly that I almost couldn’t feel it. A ghost of a touch. More of an awareness than a physical sensation.

  Heat rushed through me, from my center out to my extremities, every cell practically vibrating. I turned my hand over, let his fingers trace over my palm, ran my fingertips over his wrist. He caught his breath, his eyes darkening.

  “How do you…feel?” he asked, his voice rougher.

  I raised an eyebrow. “Uh, fine? Thank you?”

  One corner of his mouth tipped up in a rakish grin. He pushed some hair out of my face. “Let me clarify. Are you feeling well enough to celebrate?”

  “Oh,” I breathed as my stomach clenched.

  His e
xpression faltered slightly. “Unless you’re not…I mean…are you okay? Or you just don’t want…”

  A strong, confident man was appealing, but seeing that hint of vulnerability, that part of him that most people didn’t get to see, it twisted something inside me. This was what I saw when I looked into his eyes, what I felt when we made love. The part of himself that no one else got to see. The totality of a man who was so much more than the scars on his body or the wounds in his soul.

  “I feel fine,” I said with a soft smile. “No nausea, nothing like that.” I put a hand on his cheek. “And I definitely want to celebrate with you.”

  His lips crashed into mine, hungry, all-consuming. Fire ignited within me. Not a slow simmer, but an explosion blazing across every nerve. I clutched the front of his shirt, wrinkling the fabric. His tongue swept into my mouth, and all thoughts fled. The scent of him filled me, cedar and sandalwood, and just him.

  His hands slid down to my butt, and he lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, both of us groaning as his erection pressed against my core. Layers of fabric were between us, but the friction still sent a shiver of pleasure through me. I dug my fingers into his hair, nails scratching his scalp as his hands flexed on my ass. I was vaguely aware that we were moving, but it was an undercurrent of knowledge, not close enough to the surface for me to really care.

  Then I was on a bed, Eoin’s body covering mine, the weight of him pleasant. I ran my hands up his arms and across his shoulders, over his back, enjoying the feel of his muscles flexing under my palms. Knowing what was underneath his clothes, I pulled at his shirt, wanting to see, to touch.

  He pushed himself up onto his knees and pulled his shirt over the back of his head with one hand before tossing it off the bed. It was one of the hottest things I’d ever seen. I sat up, running my hands over his torso, familiar territory with each dip and ridge, each scar. When I pressed my lips to the skin just above his belly button, he sucked in a breath.

  “Aline.” My name was a prayer, a warning, a blessing.

  “Eoin.” I smiled against his stomach and hooked my fingers into his waistband. My tongue traced a scar, then his belly button, moved down the trail of hair until it disappeared into his pants.

  His hands caught mine, fingers curling around my wrists. He lifted our hands before kissing my fingers, kissing the ring. Our mouths found each other’s again, and we tumbled back on the bed together. Hands tugged at clothes, found buttons, and zippers. Newly bared skin practically sparked with each point of contact, radiating out until the spaces between us crackled with electricity.

  His lips trailed down my throat, kissed the hollow there. I tipped my head back, eyes closing. A hand covered my breast, fingers plucked at my nipple, teased it. His erection was hot against my hip, the skin soft but the muscle hard. Teeth scraped against my collarbone, and I moaned, losing myself in the sensations.

  A hand between my legs had me arching my back, pushing my hips toward him. His finger slid over my clit, and I gasped at the jolt of pleasure that went through me. He chuckled, the vibration adding to everything I was feeling.

  “So wet for me,” he murmured.

  “Yes,” I agreed. “For you.”

  A single digit slipped inside me, the heel of his palm pressing against my clit. With single-minded deliberation, he worked his hand over me, his finger inside me, pushing me toward climax. When his lips latched onto my nipple, I cried out, my nails digging into his arms. He sucked hard, a faint edge of pain to the pleasure his mouth was giving me.

  “Come for me,” he whispered a moment before he took that sensitive flesh between his teeth and bit down.

  The shock drove me over the edge, and a sound that I could only describe as a keen came out of my mouth. The orgasm ripped through me, turning everything into the sort of blinding, powerful ecstasy that wiped out the rest of the world.

  When I came down, Eoin was on his side, looking at me while stroking himself with his free hand. The pleased expression on his face made me smile, and the sight of how turned on I’d made him brought my own arousal flooding back. Then he did something that made my heart ache in a different way.

  He leaned over and kissed my stomach. The soft look in his eyes left no doubt as to the reason for his gentle gesture. If I’d had any doubt about his feelings toward our very unplanned child, that would have eliminated them altogether.

  I reached for him, and we kissed, something unhurried and sweet that had as much fire as previous ones, just slower burning. I leaned into him, running my hand down his chest to his stomach and lower. Just before I reached my goal, he stopped me and rolled me onto my back again.

  “Not yet.” He kissed down my body, spreading my legs apart before settling between them. “I want to make you come with my mouth at least once before I’m inside you.”

  As he lowered his head, I fisted the comforter and the ring – my ring – pinched my finger, reminding me of its presence. Reminding me of what it meant. That he was mine as much as I was his. That this beautiful, amazing man – the father of my child – belonged to me.

  Things might not have gone according to plan, but I couldn’t regret any of it. Not when it had led me here.

  Twenty-Seven

  Eoin

  The scent of peaches woke me up, and it took a moment for me to remember why my bed smelled like fruit. Aline. My eyes opened, my need to reassure myself that she really was here greater than me wanting to sleep a little longer. Once I saw her, I couldn’t look away.

  We were both on our sides, her back to my front. Her body was curled up, making her look even smaller than she was, and a surge of protectiveness went through me. I slid my hand from her hip to her stomach, wondering when I’d be able to feel the changes to her body, when the baby would start to move, how big it was right now.

  Was it a boy or girl? Would Aline want to know before or have it be a surprise? When would we be able to tell?

  I had a lot of research to do, I realized. I wanted to do this right, and that meant not leaving everything up to Aline. Some of the questions colliding together in my brain were the kind that she and I could talk about. I could find the answers for all the others myself. Show her that I meant everything I’d said. That she and the baby were my future, my family.

  My chest tightened with the intensity of my feelings. I had parents and siblings I loved, a niece I would do anything for, even if I wasn’t the sort of person who showed or talked about that kind of thing, but this was something else. Like my center of gravity had shifted.

  I honestly didn’t even have the words to explain it. I just knew that every choice I made from here on out would be based on what was best for Aline and the baby. I would protect them both, no matter the cost to me or anyone else.

  As my thoughts kept going on that path, I suddenly remembered that the paperwork I’d gotten from Cain about my health and life insurance through the agency was still sitting on my desk at work.

  Dammit.

  I needed to make Aline the beneficiary for my life insurance and add her and the baby to my health insurance. I hadn’t told Cain why I’d needed that information so soon after I’d filled it out originally, even though I’d already been planning the proposal when I’d talked to him. I hadn’t wanted to risk him telling Freedom and spoiling the surprise for Aline. If the sisters were even talking. It’d been the distraction of what I’d been planning that’d made me forget the papers.

  I supposed I could have waited until I went back to the office, but I didn’t want to delay, especially with the holidays possibly slowing down the process. If the loss of my mother and Leo had taught me anything, it was that everything could change in an instant.

  I sighed. I’d wanted to stay in all day with Aline, but I wouldn’t be able to relax or enjoy myself if I didn’t go get the papers.

  It took some maneuvering, but I managed to get out of the bed without waking her. She needed more rest than she was getting. While I didn’t think Martina was pressuring Aline
to work at the boutique, I doubted Martina was discouraging it either, though that could change now that Martina knew that Aline was pregnant.

  In the end, it wasn’t Martina’s responsibility. Aline was my fiancée, carrying my child. I’d take care of her now, and I’d start by letting her sleep while I dealt with the insurance business.

  Not wanting her to wake up alone and not know where I was, I wrote a quick note and hung it on the fridge. Maybe I’d stop to pick up something special for us to have for lunch too.

  With that in mind, I headed out. I’d barely gone a block before I realized how absolutely stupid it was for me to go somewhere today. It was Christmas Eve, which meant all the last-minute shoppers were out and about. As I inched forward, I was glad that I’d done all my shopping online and had even paid extra for gift wrapping.

  Yeah, that meant I hadn’t actually seen any of the presents I’d be giving out, so if someone fucked things up, it’d be as much of a surprise to me as it would be to the person opening it, but it definitely was worth the risk, especially since I’d had to arrange for Rome to take my gifts to San Ramon.

  I had some ideas about what we could do today and tomorrow, but Aline and I hadn’t discussed it yet, so I’d decided to send my presents just in case she and I made other plans. Mom and Da might be disappointed if I missed my first Christmas back home, but once they heard about the engagement and the baby, I was pretty confident they’d understand.

  The drive time to the office basically doubled, and by the time I parked, I was seriously regretting having left my place at all. Maybe if our offices hadn’t been so close to a couple shopping centers, it wouldn’t have been as bad, but I vowed that, next year, if Aline and I were in L.A. for Christmas, we’d have her family come to us so we weren’t dealing with this traffic with a baby in the car.

  To my surprise, I wasn’t the only one here from the agency. Cain’s car was in its usual spot. The accountants in the building on the other side of the parking lot must’ve been here too because I saw the Firebird and the Ford Focus that two of them drove. I didn’t see them, so I assumed they were holed up in their offices.