by M. S. Parker
Desire gripped me with an intensity that startled me, though it shouldn’t have. Nothing with Eoin had been expected, so there’d been no reason to assume that anything else would be. I might not have been at a place where I could admit to the seriousness of my feelings, but there was something I could do to show him how much I needed him.
Ignoring the final number playing out on the massive screen, I moved to straddle Eoin’s lap. Surprise registered on his face, visible even in the dim light cast by the tree and the TV, but his hands automatically went to my hips, steadying me.
Before he could ask what I was doing, I covered his mouth with mine, pouring everything into the kiss. All the anxiety, the longing, the confusion, the gratitude. All the things that had been in my life from the moment we’d first met, the ways he made me feel. Because if all I’d had with him had been simple and good, it wouldn’t have been real. Maybe some people could have an uncomplicated relationship, but I wasn’t an uncomplicated person, and I didn’t think he was either. Those complexities were what made us who we were, and they were what would make this work…or would break us.
I wasn’t going to let myself go down that particular path, though. So even with the things that weren’t exactly positive, I channeled them into the optimistic future I saw for us and our child. A future where I love you would be frequent and direct. One where it was spoken in words and not only in actions.
And even though words had always been essential for me, for right now, action would do.
I pulled at his shirt, craving the feel of his skin against mine, and he seemed to feel the same way as his hands slid up my torso, over my ribcage, taking my shirt with them. I made an annoyed noise as we separated long enough to get our shirts off, and the sound must have amused him because he was grinning at me before I started kissing him again. The fact that I could make such a serious man who’d had such a hard year happy enough to smile like that meant more to me than I’d realized it would.
His skin was hot under my palms, muscles tense, and I couldn’t stop touching him. His hands were all over me, one fondling my breast over my bra, the other dropping to my butt to give it a squeeze. Fingers crept under the waistband of my jeans, pulling me closer, holding me in place to grind our bodies together. I was more than happy to assist him, the friction through our layers of clothes sending little jolts of pleasure through me. The feel of him hardening under me was as much a mental aphrodisiac as any of the physical contact.
“Damn.” He groaned as his lips moved to my jaw. “Sweetheart. You’re killing me here.”
I dug my nails into his shoulders, the feel of his teeth nipping at my skin sending a shiver through me. “The feeling’s…” I gasped “…mutual.”
His mouth moved down my throat, sucking on my skin in such a way that I knew I should probably be concerned about him leaving marks, but all I could really think about was how good it felt to be with him, to lose myself in the sensations, in him.
“Need you so much.” He pushed up my bra, fingers rolling my nipple, plucking it.
“Me too.” I shoved my hands between us, jerking at the button and zipper with an impatience that made Eoin chuckle, the vibration sending a new shiver through me.
“Get up.” He lifted me off his lap even as he said the words. Before I could take things the wrong way, he added, “You need to get those pants off.”
Right. My pants. Just having his pants off wasn’t going to do me much good if I stayed fully clothed.
In the time it took me to kick off my pants, he had his pushed down his thighs and his erection free. I didn’t bother with my underwear, not wanting to wait even a few seconds longer to have him inside me. I climbed back on his lap, using a hand on his shoulder to steady myself while the other pulled aside my panties.
“Easy, ea–”
I sank down on him in one continuous motion. It wasn’t fast, but I didn’t stop or slow down either. I just let him fill me, stretch me.
Complete me.
I let out a shaky moan, my head falling forward, and my eyes closing. Was it always this good? Would it continue to be this good? Every time? It didn’t seem possible.
“Fuck.” Eoin’s hands tightened convulsively on my hips. “Fuck. Aline. Sweetheart.”
His voice was gravelly, harsh, as if each word was ripped from somewhere deep inside him, and I had to open my eyes. I had to see his face. See if his feelings matched mine.
His eyes were a deep green now, darker than even the needles on our tree. They burned into mine, held my gaze. Neither of us looked away, not even once I began to move. Unfamiliar whimpering sounds fell from my mouth, and the muscles in my thighs burned as I found a rhythm that worked for us both. A roll of hips and shift of angle put the friction right where I needed it. My muscles tightening around his cock with each rise and fall made him groan, made him jerk with the sort of involuntary movements that came with struggling self-control.
“Aline…sweetheart…fuck…sweetheart…” Eoin mumbled words over and over, some comprehensible, some not.
But I didn’t need to know what each word was to understand what was happening between us. No matter how urgent, how needy we both were, we were making love.
Thirty-Three
Aline
Best. Christmas. Ever.
I woke up next to Eoin, my muscles pleasantly sore, and my stomach blessedly calm. A glance at the clock on Eoin’s side of the bed told me it wasn’t quite eight-thirty, which meant we had plenty of time for a slow morning. I was glad for that.
Eoin and I had decided to open our gifts for each other this morning – nothing big since neither of us had realized how our first Christmas together would go – and then head to my parents’ place. The few hours between now and then would give me some time to prepare myself for what was coming. It also allowed me to enjoy the holiday morning with just the two of us. That wouldn’t be something we’d experience again for quite a while.
I watched him sleep until my need for the bathroom superseded my desire to keep my eyes on him. When I came back into the bedroom, he was awake and waiting for me. We made love again before heading to the kitchen for breakfast, which we ate in the living room while we opened our gifts.
These were the memories I held onto as I dressed for the trip to my parents’ place. I still wasn’t sure how much I wanted to tell everyone today, but they needed to meet Eoin as, at the very least, my boyfriend. Mom and Dad had initially heard about him from Freedom the morning after Eoin and I had spent the night in their house, but I didn’t know what else she’d told them after I’d left.
I supposed I’d be able to gauge their reaction when we walked in together and then determine from there how much to share. If I didn’t need to do much damage control, I’d feel more comfortable giving them what would definitely be surprising news.
Movement in the mirror caught my attention, and I met Eoin’s eyes in his reflection. I held up the necklace he had given me earlier today.
“Help me?”
As I pulled my hair aside, he smiled and came over. He had large hands, but his fingers were dexterous, and he easily fastened the necklace before placing a kiss on the back of my neck.
“I’m glad you like it.” He moved my hair back over my shoulders, his touch lingering. “I’ve never bought jewelry for anyone but Mom before, and it’s definitely not the same thing.”
“No, it wouldn’t be.” I turned to face him. The expression on his face was that soft one I’d only seen a couple times before, and it’d only been when he’d told me something that I believed he didn’t share with many people.
His fingers brushed against my cheek. “It looks good on you.”
I raised up on my toes and kissed his cheek. “Maybe after we get home, I’ll wear just it and my ring.”
Heat filled his eyes instantly. “Maybe you could give me a little preview.”
“I’d like that.” Reluctantly, I stepped out of his arms. “But if we get distracted now, we’ll end up being l
ate to my parents’ and then later getting back.”
“Then let’s get going.”
I laughed and smoothed down my dress. “That sounds good to me.”
We’d been at my parents’ house for a while, and things had been a little strained, but everyone had been polite so far. Mom and Dad had been surprised that I’d brought Eoin, but the only slightly awkward thing either of them had said was when Dad had mentioned that they were glad to finally meet him. But then Mom had shifted the conversation to whether or not Eoin had any food allergies, and everything had gone fine from there.
Well, mostly fine.
Freedom might not have been outright rude to Eoin, but a coolness existed in my sister’s attitude toward him, which meant that things were even more tense between us, but neither of us addressed the issue. I assumed her reason was the same as mine: not wanting to ruin the holiday for our parents, especially after the difficult year we’d had.
Much of the small talk had centered around Eoin’s family, and since he had such a large one, my parents had been able to find enough questions to get us through the meal and to our gift exchange. I’d been pleased to find that Eoin had, unbeknownst to me, purchased gifts for both my parents and Freedom.
Since he hadn’t known them well enough to have found anything personal, he’d gone with gift baskets with various coffees and teas with a few different types of chocolate and snacks. The fact that the one he’d given my parents contained delicacies my dad could still eat with his dietary restrictions had meant as much to me as the necklace around my neck.
Now that the gifts had all been opened, the five of us were sitting in the front room with the Christmas tree and all the decorations I’d grown up with. Eoin’s arm was around my shoulders in a way that looked as casual as his tone, but he still felt stiff and unnatural in his dress slacks and shirt. The tension in him increased when Mom turned the discussion from Freedom’s recent interactions with Dr. Ipres to something that none of us had talked about yet.
“Perhaps this should have been something that we said as soon as you arrived, but Gerard and I need to thank you for what you did for Aline.” She glanced at Freedom, then at me, before turning back to Eoin. “The girls haven’t given us many details because they’re trying to protect us, but we know that the situation you put yourself into was a dangerous one. You and the other people in your group risked a lot to save our daughter, and we owe you far more thanks than we can ever say.”
Eoin’s scar stood out, a stark white against the flush of his cheeks. I was taken off-guard as much as he was, and it wasn’t as if my parents were accusing him of something, but he clearly wasn’t comfortable with their gratitude.
After a couple seconds of silence, he cleared his throat. “I really don’t know how to respond to that. You’re welcome seems corny, and not like it’s enough because I got something out of it too.” He glanced at me, our eyes locking for a single heated moment. “I’m thankful every day that I was on the team that went after her.”
I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I am too.”
He moved his arm from around me to take my hand in his. I ignored Freedom’s glare and focused my attention on our parents. This seemed like a good time to make our excuses and leave. My parents were happy, even if they weren’t completely informed of what was going on between Eoin and me, and I was unsure that Freedom could keep quiet much longer. Her disapproval was like a palpable thing pushing at me.
“It’s getting late,” I said as I stood up. Our linked hands brought Eoin up too when he didn’t let go. “I’m going to get some things from my room, and then we’ll be leaving.”
Both of my parents’ expressions fell, but they quickly recovered. I didn’t know if Eoin had even seen it.
“You’re planning on continuing to stay with Martina then?” Mom asked, a forced brightness in her question.
I was just trying to decide the best way to answer the question when Freedom spoke up, and everything went to hell.
“We can pack your things in the car tonight, and then I’ll pick you up at her place tomorrow morning for us to head back to Stanford. I was going to spend tomorrow here too, but it’s been a while since you’ve been home, so we’ll leave early.”
Dammit.
“I’m not going back to Stanford,” I said, my grip on Eoin’s hand tightening. “I’ll be staying in L.A., and after the first of the year, I’ll start looking into the local school systems in the area.”
“Then why do you need your things if you’re going to be here?” Freedom practically demanded.
“I’m not staying here,” I said, fighting to keep my voice even. “I’m staying in L.A., not with Mom and Dad.”
My sister crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “I don’t want to live in L.A.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
This was not the way I’d wanted this visit to go, and I silently begged Freedom to just let things go, put off the discussion until the two of us could have a private conversation.
Instead, she let out the sort of exasperated sigh that one normally associated with children. “So, you’re just going to have some tiny room in Martina’s apartment?”
“No.”
“You’re going to get a place of your own?” She barked a bitter laugh. “You’ve never lived a day on your own.”
My control snapped. “I can take care of myself, but for your information, I won’t be alone. I’m living with Eoin.”
Double dammit.
Thirty-Four
Eoin
The moment the words came out of Aline’s mouth, I could see that she wanted to take them back. Not because she regretted accepting my proposal or didn’t want to live with me, but because blurting it out like that had been like dropping a bomb.
Now, we were just waiting for it to explode. I could read it on their faces. I read it on her face too. She realized the impact of what she’d done.
And then Freedom turned on me, her expression furious.
“What the hell did you do?!” She pointed at me, her clear blue eyes flashing. “How dare you take advantage of her when she was upset! Out on her own for the first time and vulner–”
“We’re engaged,” Aline cut her off, clearly deciding to get it all out now that things were in motion for a confrontation. “And I’m pregnant.”
Freedom’s jaw dropped, and her face went white.
Aline’s jaw tightened. “So, back off.”
“What?”
The word came out as a whisper, confirming for me that Aline had never spoken to Freedom that way before.
“Eoin is my fiancé and the father of my child.” Aline squeezed my hand but didn’t show any other sign of how difficult this was for her. “It seems like a pretty good idea for us to live in the same house.”
“I-I don’t…” Paulette shook her head, but the stunned expression on her face was still there. “You’re pregnant?”
Aline gave her mom a small smile. “I am.”
I had a feeling it was more the smile than the words that broke through to Paulette, but no matter what it was, she rallied.
“And you’re engaged?” Paulette was smiling now. Not the same full kind of smile that she should’ve had when hearing this sort of news, but considering the circumstances, I couldn’t really blame her for not jumping for joy right away.
“I am.”
“Where’s your ring?” Freedom’s question was flat, without any inflection, as blank as her face and impossible for me to read.
I was about to answer that Aline had left the ring at home, but my fiancée reached into the little pocket at the front of her purse and pulled out her engagement ring.
The fact that she’d brought her ring with her made me absurdly happy.
“We hadn’t planned to make any announcements today,” Aline said as she slid her ring into place. “Everything’s still new.”
“New?” Freedom’s laugh was brittle. “You two have been together for, what, five weeks?
Six?”
“It is a little sudden,” Gerard said. He gave me a hard look. “For all of it. Are you prepared for how this is going to change your life, young man?”
I understood the challenge, and I deserved the disbelief, but I wasn’t running from this. They needed to know from moment one that I would be there for Aline and our baby, no matter what.
“I am,” I said firmly. “I have a condo that’s big enough for a family, and I’m financially stable. I have a good job with great insurance that will cover Aline and the baby even before we get married. I will take care of my family.”
I didn’t bother to explain that my job wasn’t what gave me that financial security. I didn’t want them thinking that I was some spoiled rich kid who’d never had to work a day in his life.
“You can’t really be…” Freedom shook her head as she turned to her parents. “How can you let her do this?”
“I’m twenty-two years old,” Aline said quietly. “I have a master’s degree in an essential field. I have a wonderful fiancé with a good job and a beautiful place for us to live. We’re going to make a home for our family here in L.A.” She looked at her parents and then back at her seething sister. “We’re going to pack some things and then be back down to say our goodbyes.”
I kept my eyes on her as I followed her up the stairs. I doubted any of them were feeling friendly toward me at the moment, and I really didn’t want to see whatever was written on their faces right now. I doubted I’d be able to stop myself from saying some things I’d regret. This wasn’t how either of us had imagined things going today, and I had no doubt that Aline’s mind was racing a hundred miles an hour.
I hadn’t noticed much about her room the only other time I’d been here since I’d been more focused on taking her to bed. This time, I still didn’t take it all in. I simply scanned the room for anything she might want to take. I was surprised at how much personal stuff was here.
