Donuts and Detours

by Baganz, Susan M. ;

  “He volunteers at our garage ministry and said he works at the bakery. I thought maybe you’d know him.” Titus sipped his coffee.

  “Good kid. Hard worker.”

  “I’ve noticed that about him in the shop but know so little about him. Some people don’t like to share much.”

  Bethany nodded. “True. He doesn’t talk much at work either.”

  “The quiet ones, the deep thinkers…sometimes they are the most intriguing, right?”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “They leave a mystery.”

  “So how about you, Titus? What do you do for a living?”

  “I’m a mechanic by trade but also drive a tow truck. Guess you could say I’m in the habit of rescuing cars and their owners.”

  “Interesting that you put cars first.”

  “Sometimes they are easier to understand than people.”

  “Even with all the computerization?”

  “Even then.”

  Bethany couldn’t help but grin at that. She agreed but she wasn’t giving him any clues that might expose her secret. “I’m glad I got to meet you again, Titus.”

  “You too, Bethany.” Ty gave a mock salute and headed off to talk to other people. He glanced back at her as he walked away, and she could have sworn he winked.

  Skye arrived and introduced her to her two children, Quinn and Meghan. Soon Bethany was following the young woman to her home, parking by the curb.

  Skye ushered her in the front door. “Excuse the mess. We moved a few weeks ago after we got married. So, things are still not all unpacked.”

  Bethany Joelle wandered to a portrait above the fireplace. “This is beautiful. That’s your husband, the one who led worship?”

  “Yeah, I painted that as a wedding gift. And yes, it is true, his eyes really are that fascinating.”

  “How long ago did you meet him?”

  “We met in January.”

  “And you only just got married?”

  “Long story, but yes.”

  “So, you had kids…”

  “Right, the standard question, especially for a pastor’s wife. I was married before and divorced my drug addict husband. Met Dan, he taught me about Jesus, and I fell in love with the messenger. My kids adore having him for their father and Dan is in the process of legally adopting them. Come to the kitchen and I’ll get you something to drink. Coffee?”

  “Coffee’s fine.” Bethany followed. “So, you’re an artist?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Interesting. I can’t really draw unless it’s with icing.”

  “That’s OK. I’d probably fail at that.” Skye pushed a coffee toward her. “Cream, sugar?”

  “No. I’ve learned to drink it black. I work with sugar all day long, don’t need to eat it too.”

  “Do you get sick of the scent?”

  “I hardly notice it. But I can sniff a loaf of bread blindfolded and tell you what kind it is.”

  “Interesting party trick.”

  “Not really.” Bethany lifted her cup and took a sip.

  “You got a little choked up this morning. Why?” Skye asked as she leaned forward in her seat, nursing her own cup.

  “I’m not really sure. I tend to blend in. Hide in the background. The idea that God can see me no matter what I try to do is overwhelming.”

  “I get that. And if no one else notices you, why would God?”

  “Yeah.”

  “If it’s any consolation, most of us carry some baggage from our past. God longs to help and heal it.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s like God’s been playing hide-and-seek with me for a long time. Except I’m the one seeking and He’s hiding.”

  “Paul writes in the letter to James that if we draw near to God, He will draw near to us.”

  “I’ve read that, and in other verses, it says if we seek Him we will find Him. Can we change the topic?”

  Skye nodded. “Why baking?”

  Bethany sighed. “It’s something I started in high school as a job and it stuck. Food can make people happy, right? So, I get to be part of that in a tiny way.”

  “Because you’re not happy.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t need to. Your eyes tell me the truth. The question is, why?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Bethany Joelle sat her cup down. Her heart raced. She needed to leave.

  “It matters because you are important to God.” Skye’s hand came to rest on Bethany’s arm.

  It took everything in Bethany’s power to resist pulling away.

  “I’m not saying that our faith is about happiness because it isn’t. It’s about holiness. And sometimes the process of being made holy hurts. Life hurts. Let me show you another portrait I painted of my husband when he was deep in grief over the loss of his first wife.” Skye escorted Bethany into a well-lit studio with lots of windows. On the inside wall hung a portrait of a grieving man. Obviously, Pastor Dan.

  Tears she fought all morning escaped their boundaries as she gazed at the portrait. A tissue was thrust into her hand.

  “What have you lost, Bethany Joelle? Why are you grieving?” Skye whispered.

  Bethany shook her head. “I’m sorry. I need to go. Thank you for inviting me over,” she gasped out between sobs. She headed to the front door and barreled into Ty.

  His hands gripped her upper arms to keep them both from tumbling over.

  “Bethany Joelle? I didn’t realize I’d find you here. We need to stop running into—” he paused as he noticed her distress. “What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head and ducked past him, practically running to her car.

  He stood in the driveway watching her go.

  God, why? Why do you keep throwing this man in my path? If he learns who I am, I’ll lose...

  3

  All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain.

  Iyanla Vanzant

  Ty had witnessed naked grief before but never had it punched him in the gut as Bethany Joelle’s did. He returned to the Wink household as Dan pulled into the driveway. Any appetite was gone.

  “You look as if someone stole your kitten,” Dan remarked as he led him into the house.

  “Hey, guys. Lunch is almost ready. Did Bethany Joelle leave?” Skye popped her head out to call to them.

  Ty nodded. “Something upset your guest. Is it even safe for her to drive?”

  “I hope so,” Skye said. “I saw her run into you and hoped you’d get her to stay. I don’t think she wanted to talk to me anymore. Her distress is my fault. Come on in. I’d call her later but I never got her number. I probably pried a little too much for having just met her. Not everyone is like Dan and can handle my poking.” Worry lines marred Skye’s forehead as she ushered them into the kitchen.

  Dan pulled her close to give her a hug. “And maybe that’s what she needed. Someone brave enough to go there. We’ll pray for her, OK?”

  “Thanks.” Skye turned to Ty. “And so you know. This was not a blind date set-up. Dan didn’t realize I’d invited her and never told me he’d invited you. Which is fine.” She gave a big smile. “I’m always glad when you come and visit.”

  “I wouldn’t have been offended if it had been a set-up, Skye. I’ve met that girl once outside her work and this morning at church. She’s cute.”

  “Someone’s finally sparked your interest?” Dan teased.

  “We all fall sometime, don’t we?”

  “And usually when we least expect it.” Dan, filled a mug with coffee, and handed it off to Ty before getting his own.

  “True.” Skye grinned but the sorrow at what had obviously gone wrong still haunted her. She went to the door to the backyard. “Quinn! Meghan! Time to eat.”

  The children tumbled in and wrapped arms around Dan before threatening to smother Ty in love and adoration. He dropped them in their chairs. “Monkey business comes after lunch, not before.”

  “Not today, Ty. Naps come after lunch.
No monkey business unless you’re around later.”

  Ty pulled a sad face and slumped his shoulders. “Not fair.”

  The kids giggled.

  Skye’s bratwurst, her husband’s favorite, was delicious, as were the burgers. The banana crème pie topped off the meal.

  The kids consented to a nap without fuss.

  Ty and Dan sat in the backyard in the shade.

  “So, this girl. Why her?” Dan prodded.

  “Not sure. She seems familiar somehow. She’s cute and she doesn’t flirt. She didn’t seem intimidated by her car issues either. She wasn’t helpless when her battery died, only needed a ride and even then, she didn’t ask. I think she’d have taken the bus or a cab before asking me for help. But, we only just met so I can’t blame her for being cautious. I suspect she held her pepper spray close just in case.”

  “You didn’t flash your big smile and give her a wink to reassure her?”

  “That probably would have sent her screaming the other way.”

  “You said you wanted to talk about The Garage ministry?”

  “Yeah, nothing major. I got a kid working there. Name of B.J. Says he can’t always make it to church because he often works on Sundays. He keeps to himself and does good work. This past week he actually gave me a little lip when I offered to help with a grunge job cleaning a stinky trunk. Said he prefers to work alone.”

  “Good kid. Works well independently and doesn’t seek your approval. Do you think he is resistant to learning and growth? Or is it because he doesn’t tell you how wonderful you are?”

  “Neither. I gave him a new task and he did it without assistance and went above and beyond to look up all the parts I would need to fix the problems on the car. He left notes on issues he thought would be problems down the line and could be preventatively fixed.”

  Dan’s eyebrows raised. “Kid knows his cars, then.”

  “Yeah. He doesn’t fight doing the messy jobs at all.”

  “But he lacks personal connection. A loner.”

  “So how do I reach him? He’s stated he knows Jesus and has a relationship, but where is he connecting and able to grow?”

  “Does he come Thursday nights?”

  “I’m pretty regular but I’ve not seen him.”

  “Do you have time in your schedule to take him under your wing for discipleship? Or perhaps have someone else in mind who might do it? Coffee once a week to talk or something like that?”

  “I could try. I suspect he might refuse me.”

  “So be persistent. Keep asking.”

  “I guess. Or I could see if Will or one of the other guys could do it.”

  “There. Problem solved. Do we need to work on the girl issue now?”

  Titus grinned. “Nah, I think I can manage that on my own.”

  “So, says you. I’ll be here waiting.” Dan gave him a grin before they started to talk about the early draft picks for the Green Bay Packers.

  ~*~

  Monday on his lunch break, Ty headed to the shelter to check on the abused dog. He was able to sit and hold the animal and give the little guy some loving. It only took moments to fill out the adoption papers. He was approved after a background check. He decided to get the dog after work, so he could have time to collect the various items the puppy would need. B.J. would probably be glad to hear the dog had a good home. Ty went through the rest of his day with a spring in his step.

  ~*~

  Bethany Joelle scraped together enough spare cash to purchase a new collar and leash to pick up the dog. Her application and a check made out for the adoption fee were filled out. She fully anticipated going home with the animal.

  “The rescued dog?” the caretaker asked.

  “Yeah, brought in last week, found in the trunk of a car.” Bethany waited.

  “Oh, he was adopted earlier today. The owner will be picking him up at five.”

  “Adopted? Can you say who?”

  “No. But we have many other dogs who need a loving home. Would you like to see them?”

  “Could I at least see that dog one last time?”

  The worker nodded. “Sure.”

  The dog jumped up next to her and put his coned head in her lap. Bethany crooned softly as she petted him, avoiding his wounds. “I hope you got a good owner who will love you and take good care of you.” She gave the pooch a hug and left, fighting the tears. She called the garage to say she wasn’t coming in and went home.

  The dog couldn’t be hers. Neither could a family. A mom and a dad who would love her. And no man would want her either.

  Sometimes she wondered what the point of it all was. Work, eat, sleep, and volunteer. All alone. She mowed the lawn for Adele, showered, and crashed for the night. What else could she do with a bruised and battered heart?

  ~*~

  When he got to the garage that evening there was a message left from B.J. saying he wouldn’t be in. No explanation. Ty frowned as he petted the shorn and stitched up Maltese mix that came with the name Shazam. Silly name for a dog. He’d think of something better. The dog napped in his office while he worked on the cars and then they went home. One thing he was extremely grateful for…the pooch was potty-trained.

  ~*~

  Bethany shuffled through the next few days and didn’t go into The Garage. She finally went on Thursday night, knowing that most of the younger men would be at the Thursday night group. She was surprised to run into Titus.

  “Hey, sprout, missed seeing you the past few days. You doin’ OK?”

  B.J. shrugged. “I’m doin’.”

  “Remember that dog you rescued? I adopted him. He’s doing well. I bring him by sometimes and he hangs out in the office. Kind of The Garage mascot. I’m sorry you missed him. I only stopped in for a few minutes, so he isn’t with me tonight.” Ty looked around the garage. “Are you the only one here?”

  “Guess so. Just wanted to do some oil changes.”

  Titus shook his head. “Sorry, kid. The policy is that there needs to be at least two people here at all times. A safety thing.”

  “Fine. I’ll leave.” She pulled off her gloves and shoved them in her back pocket.

  “Why don’t you head to the adult group at church?”

  “Not tonight. Not feelin’ very social.”

  “Do you ever?”

  “What?”

  “Feel social? Do you ever hang out with people and talk or enjoy yourself?”

  “Not really.”

  “Why not?”

  She shrugged. “Long story no one really wants to hear.”

  “I’d listen.” Titus offered as he leaned against the workbench.

  B.J. considered the man before her. He was one of the good guys. At least she thought he was. Too bad. He was one of the few she felt relatively safe around, even when she was dressed as a woman.

  “Thanks. I’ll pass. Good night, Ty.” She gave a little wave and went to where her scooter sat at the side of the building. After he had seen her car, she knew she couldn’t be driving it to the garage. Thankfully, she didn’t live that far away. For now, with the weather being good, the scooter would suffice. She made a quick switch from her hat to her helmet, shoving the baseball hat in her storage compartment. Maybe she’d come in Saturday after work. Except the dog might be there. Could she deal with seeing him every time she came in?

  Why did she torture herself like this anyway?

  She knew the answer. It was Russell’s fault.

  The wind whipped her face clearing off the tears that seemed to keep coming since the dam broke on Sunday. Maybe she needed to see a doctor. Get an anti-depressant. Right. She’d seen how dangerous those could be.

  She took a detour to the graveyard. Could she even find the headstone? It’d been years since she came out here and often wondered at the wisdom of doing so. She parked the bike and hiked along the rows of stone etched with names and dates separated by dashes. Their lives had been too brief and hers too long. She finally came to her parents’ gravesite.
Dad’s showed the military honors he’d received. She wished she could remember him.

  He’d been gone so much doing the behind the scenes dirty work of after-war Iraq. When he’d died, the joy left their home. Bethany Joelle’s mother eventually ended her own life.

  She had heard it was a good thing that she hadn’t killed her daughter in the accident but sometimes Bethany wondered if her mother intended for them both to die. Her hip still ached from the broken bones after the car crash. Once thrust into foster care, getting decent medical follow-up hadn’t happened. She did well enough in spite of it.

  She didn’t remember the accident. Only that she awoke in the hospital in Madison and had no family. No one to claim her. No one to love her. Her dad couldn’t do anything about the bomb that took his life, but her mom…she shouldn’t have taken all the pills at once. They hadn’t had a chance to even work and combined with the other medications…

  Bethany trembled.

  And now a dog. She’d saved it and Titus adopted him. She should be glad. The pup had been tossed away, battered and bruised much as she was. Ty would give the dog a good home. Too bad no one provided the same for her.

  Except for Russell and Kristi. Russell was the one who helped her learn to fix cars while Kristi taught her to bake. Their own children were grown. Bethany hoped and dreamed that they would be her forever family. She had been with that family longer than any other. Two full years. But cancer attacked Russell, and Kristi had all she could do to keep a job and help her husband. Bethany Joelle was abandoned once again.

  Bethany stomped her foot. “It’s not fair!” She looked up into the sky and screamed at the clouds floating by. “God? Can you hear me? It’s just not fair! You keep taking people I love away from me.” She strode to her scooter and left for home. She parked it in the shed and headed for her room, but Adele caught her.

  “Bethany, dear. Are you unwell?”

  B.J. shook out her hair and sighed. “Physically I’m fine. Emotionally, not so much. Someone else adopted the dog.”

  “Oh? I’m sorry you’re disappointed. Are you considering another at the shelter?”

  “Not right now. I need to get a shower and head to bed. Early morning again.”

  “I understand. Sleep well. I’ll be praying for you, that you’ll feel better.”