Donuts and Detours

by Baganz, Susan M. ;

  “It brings back happy memories. I don’t have many of them, so I cherish those. Being in a garage, working on cars, is a happy place.”

  “There’s more to the story.” Titus stared at her.

  Bethany took a deep breath and grimaced at the pain it caused. “Perhaps.”

  “I should let you rest. When do you see the doctor?”

  “Not going.”

  “Why?” He was frowning now.

  “I’ll be fine. I just need my car.”

  “I don’t want to return it until you’ve been cleared by the doctor.”

  “This is not a game you want to be playing with me,” Bethany warned.

  “Really?” Titus stood, towering over her.

  “Really. I’ll have my car within the hour without your help.”

  “I’d like to see you try.” He folded his arms across his chest.

  Adele came up that moment. “Titus. Come inside for a glass of iced tea.”

  “Thank you.” Ty scooped up Cooper and followed the older woman inside.

  Exhaustion weighed her down but she had something to prove. She walked to the garage, rolled out her scooter, put her helmet on, and took off down the road.

  Titus would have a difficult time extricating himself from Adele’s conversation before she returned.

  She reached the shop and popped the hatchback. The rear seat was already flat, and she maneuvered the scooter in. Her ribs hurt worse and her back ached, but she managed to get the door closed. She started up the car, drove home, parked, and got out.

  Titus ran down the steps.

  Cooper outpaced him to jump up on Bethany’s legs to be petted.

  She scratched the dog’s ears before standing up again. Every move was excruciating. She put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow as he came toward her. He didn’t need to know how much pain she was in.

  “That was foolish.”

  “I needed my car. You had no right to keep it from me.”

  Titus shook his head. He turned back to Adele. “Thank you for the iced-tea.” He scooped up his dog, stomped to his truck, hopped in, and took off.

  Bethany went inside, her victory hollow. He had no right to tell her what to do. She took measured steps to her apartment, swallowed a pain pill, collapsed on the bed, and was soon asleep.

  ~*~

  Titus fumed all the way home. Insufferable woman.

  Cooper whimpered and sulked.

  Getting a call for a wrecker, Ty left, grateful for the distraction.

  ~*~

  On Sunday, Titus came into the church foyer.

  Skye walked over to Titus. “How are you, Ty?”

  He grunted as Bethany slipped into the sanctuary alone as the countdown began on the screen in the lobby.

  “Go sit with her,” Skye nudged.

  “Did Dan tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  Ty stared down at her gray eyes behind the black-framed glasses. Was that a twinkle?

  “Just go.”

  “I can’t save every wounded puppy, Skye.”

  “No, but this one saved you.”

  “Dan did tell you.”

  “Tell her what?” Pastor Wink came up and put an arm around his wife.

  Skye peered up at him. “That B.J. saved him. I suggested he go sit with her, but he’s being stubborn.”

  “Is he now? Leave the man be, Skye, and today, you sit with me.”

  She gazed up at her husband and the love shared between the two only highlighted the chasm of loneliness in his own heart. She turned back to Titus. “I’ll back off. Have a good day, Ty. I’m glad you’re OK.”

  Pastor Dan led his wife away.

  Titus sighed. B.J. saved him and he was an autocratic jerk. Still. Sitting by her? If he could even find her. He stepped into the auditorium as the congregation stood for the first song. He couldn’t locate B.J. anywhere so he grabbed a seat, alone, and tried to focus on worship. His thoughts strayed. Lord, a little help here? I’m supposed to be focusing on You, not an infuriating strawberry-blonde who masquerades as a boy.

  He focused on worship and settled down to the message with his Bible open.

  Two rows ahead on the left Bethany sat, facing the front. Her head bent as she read along with Pastor Andrew. Her hair fell down hiding her face until she looked back at the stage.

  She had a cute nose. How did he miss that?

  Stop it. Focus.

  When the service ended, he couldn’t remember a word. He had it bad. But what would he do about it? He strode out of the sanctuary, went to get coffee, and opted to visit with some friends. He scanned the crowd.

  “Omph!”

  His arms instinctively reached around the person he’d tripped over. He glanced down and groaned. “I’m sorry. I really need to stop running over you. Are you all right?”

  The brown eyes with flecks of gold looked up at him. “Titus. Yes. I’ll be fine, thank you.” She pulled away and kept on walking. Or was that limping? Her gait wasn’t steady, and she wrapped her arms around her Bible as if to protect from further attacks.

  Quinn and Meghan rushed through the crowd to him. He bent one knee to get down to their level. “Hey, kids.”

  “You coming over today?”

  “I can’t come over every Sunday, guys.”

  “Yeah, but that girl isn’t coming so Cooper will play with us.”

  “And your backyard isn’t a mud puddle?”

  Meghan’s smile grew wide. “More like a mud lake. Cooper would love it.”

  “I think we’ll pass today.”

  Dan came up and the kids wrapped their arms around their father.

  “Ty says he won’t come,” Quinn whined.

  The pastor grinned. “Afraid of the mud?”

  “Heard you’re starting a new trend in swimming holes,” Titus joked.

  “Yeah, but better at the back of my yard than in my basement.”

  “I’ll bet. The joys of home-ownership.”

  “Yeah. Hey, kids. Go find your mother. I need to stay here through second service and she’s your ride home.”

  “Awww.” Meghan pouted.

  Dan ruffled her curly hair. “Go.”

  The kids took off.

  “Saw Bethany Joelle leave,” Dan stated.

  “Yeah, after I almost ran over her. She’s so small I didn’t even see her.”

  “Really? Maybe you’re not into her after all.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “I’m always aware of where Skye is at church.”

  “I was distracted.”

  “Hmmm.” Dan gave Titus a shoulder tap and took off to visit with other people milling around.

  Titus headed for home, took the dog for a walk, and sulked in a chair until Will came home.

  “No plans for today?” Will asked.

  “Not really.”

  “Want to go play golf with Jace and me?”

  “I’d rather have a tooth pulled.”

  “Well, ‘Mr. Grumpypants,’ enjoy your tooth pulling. It’s too nice a day to be indoors.” Will left.

  Titus paced. He couldn’t stop thinking about Bethany. What was she doing today? He wanted to talk to her, but he didn’t even have her phone number. He reached for his keys. “Cooper, come on.” He hooked up the leash and they headed out to his truck.

  A few minutes later Titus pulled into the gravel driveway. Adele was out in her garden. He parked and opened the door.

  Cooper took off running.

  Adele stood up and walked over. “Why, hello, Titus. What a pleasure to have you visit again. Would you like something cold to drink?”

  “Sure. That’d be great. I was looking for Bethany. Her car is here.”

  “She’s in the garage tinkering with the lawnmower.”

  Cooper sat nearby watching her work on a riding mower.

  The top of the engine was open, and she leaned over it. She wore her jeans and long-sleeved shirt.

  “Aren’t you roasting
in here?”

  Bethany stopped her work to check out the intruder. “Cooler here in the shade than in the sun.”

  “So, you fix anything?”

  “If I can help, I do. I’ve been maintaining Adele’s car for her. It’s pretty old but it still runs. And this old machine still has some chops left in it. Far easier to handle this huge lawn with. Just needs a little tune-up more often.” She slammed the hood down and went to sit down on the seat. The engine turned, she nodded and turned it off. “Good.” She turned to Ty. “What can I do for you?”

  “I should apologize for the other day.” He looked around. “Where is your scooter by the way?”

  “Still in the back of my car. It hurt too much getting it in, so I haven’t had the guts to get it back out.”

  “Would you mind if I did that for you?”

  “No. I would be grateful.” She motioned to the car parked in the shade. “It’s unlocked.”

  Titus went to the car and popped the hatch. He slid the scooter out, closed the trunk, and brought the motorized bike to the garage. “I’m assuming you keep it in here?”

  “Yeah. It’s electric so I plug it in here until I need it again.”

  “Have you gone to the doctor?”

  “Are you my mother? No. I don’t like doctors. I’ll heal in time. I just need to take it easy.” She left the garage with Cooper following at her heels. She wandered to the porch, sat down, and welcomed the dog on her lap.

  “I suppose I need to apologize again. I’m concerned for you. Is that so bad?” Titus sat adjacent to her.

  “Don’t know why. I’ve only caused you trouble.”

  “By saving my life? I’m grateful for a face full of mud if it means I avoid being killed.”

  “But the garage…” B.J. slowly ran her hands over the dog’s short hair.

  “I talked to Pastor Dan and he thinks you should be able to keep working there until the management team takes up the issue in a more general sense. Your name won’t be involved.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Hey, you do good work.”

  “I try. But now you understand why I stick to myself there and avoid working closely with anyone else.”

  “Yeah. I get it.”

  Adele came outside and brought some iced tea. “Here you go, kids. Enjoy.” She scuttled back into the house leaving them alone.

  Titus suspected Adele was trying to pair them up. He’d take the ally. “When do you go back to work?”

  “Tomorrow morning. I’ll be working extra hours to make up for what I lost.”

  “I’m glad they kept the job open for you.”

  “Me, too.” She sipped her drink. Cooper was now sprawled across her lap. “I have a favor to ask.”

  “O-K—”

  “I’d like to go out on the wrecker again. Preferably in better weather.”

  “Why?”

  “So, I’m not afraid.” She avoided his eyes.

  “Kind of like getting back on the horse when you fall off?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Sure. Can it wait until you’re a little more healed up?” Titus sipped his own drink. He definitely needed to cool off sitting anywhere near this woman.

  “I suppose.” She gave a heavy sigh.

  “What was that for?”

  “It’s been hard being off work.”

  “What do you do when you take a vacation?”

  “I don’t take vacations.”

  “Ever?”

  “I don’t have anywhere to go and don’t make enough money to spend on something fun, if I even knew what that was.”

  “You don’t know how to have fun?”

  She shook her head. “Not really.”

  “So, you bake, fix cars, and that’s it?”

  “Mow the lawn, help out Adele when I can, groceries, laundry, sleep, shovel snow in winter. Bake for pay and tinker for free.”

  “You don’t hang out with friends on a Friday night?”

  “I don’t have any friends.”

  “Why?”

  “It was never safe.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Friends leave. They are fickle. They glean information to use against me. To betray me. It’s not worth the risk.”

  “I thought maybe we were becoming friends. And what about Skye?”

  “Neither of you really know me.”

  “We’d like to if you’d let us.”

  “So, you say.”

  “Will you tell me about the scars?”

  She swallowed hard and stared away. “Abusive foster home.”

  “Torture?”

  “For them it was play.”

  “I’m sorry. Are they all over or only your arms?”

  “All over. They weren’t particular.”

  “That’s why you wear long sleeves.”

  Bethany unbuttoned her shirtsleeves and rolled them up. “The scars make people uncomfortable.”

  “But it has to be so hot to wear those clothes in the summer.”

  “I’ve adapted.”

  “How long did it go on?” Titus whispered.

  “Too long.”

  He reached over and turned her wrist, so the underside of her arm showed. “These look self-inflicted.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. She made a feeble attempt to pull her arm away and he let it go. “Self-inflicted, but not desired.”

  “I don’t understand,” Ty said.

  “When someone holds a gun to my head, I tend to do what they ask and wonder, which would be worse—bleeding to death because I slit my wrists or simply having my brains blown out? There are still days when I wonder if I made the correct choice. Every time I hoped that somehow that would be the last time it would ever happen, and I wouldn’t wake up to more of the nightmare.” She shooed Cooper off her lap and rose, almost tipping the chair over. “Thanks for stopping by.” She went into the house and Titus couldn’t move.

  Who would do such things? This was the stuff of movies. Fiction. Not real life. He longed to ask her more but he’d already crossed a line.

  Adele emerged from the house. “Titus, you’re still here. Did you want more iced tea?”

  He stood. “No, thank you. Was Bethany Joelle going to mow your lawn today?”

  Adele looked to the garage. “I thought she was, but she has to work tomorrow. She’ll be heading to bed soon.”

  “I took up too much of her time. Would you mind if I did it for her?”

  Adele shook her head. “Not at all, young man. And if you decide to do it shirtless I won’t mind.” She winked at him as she whisked the pitcher back into the house.

  Ty finished his drink, took the glass inside to set by the sink, and went to mow the huge lawn. It was the least he could do after upsetting B.J. with such painful memories she was reluctant to share.

  But she did share.

  He wasn’t too sure what to make of it all. He grinned as he pulled off his t-shirt. He could use more vitamin D and since Adele said she didn’t mind…

  8

  The only circle of trust you should have is a donut.

  Anonymous

  August 2014

  A month passed before B.J. returned to her routine of work and tinkering at the garage.

  Titus gave her wide berth. He would greet her but beyond that, he left her alone.

  The other men didn’t bother her either.

  Titus made no mention of their conversation.

  She’d run because he’d ripped open a painful memory and she didn’t know what else to do. The subsequent nights were restless with nightmares. Buried memories rose up to haunt and victimize her all over again. She’d often wondered why God let her live through all that. What was the point?

  Bethany Joelle returned to church and sat down but her peace was shattered as a man in dress pants, suit coat, and tie sat next to her. She stared forward and tried to ignore the presence, even keeping her elbow close to her body instead of resting on the armrest between the two
chairs. Others occupied the seats around them, but it was this one man whose closeness drove her anxiety to new heights. They stood as the service began and she struggled to sing through her heightened inner panic.

  The worship leader made the fateful suggestion—”Please turn and greet your neighbor before you are seated.”

  Bethany shook the hands of everyone around her until she came to him.

  The man reached out with a grin on his clean-shaven face. “Hi.”

  “Good morning,” she responded as she sat, holding her Bible close.

  After the announcements, they stood again, and his broad shoulders invaded her space, hedged in on the other side by a squirrelly six-year-old who bounced and clapped to the music.

  Finally, they sat and she opened her Bible to the passage Pastor Andrew would be speaking from.

  The man leaned closer. “I forgot my Bible this morning. Do you mind if I share yours?”

  Bethany couldn’t find the passage. Her fingers couldn’t seem to get the pages to move.

  “Mind if I try?”

  She handed him her Bible and he expertly flipped to Psalm 139.

  The pastor started to read the first twelve verses.

  “There.” He handed it back to her.

  “Thanks,” she whispered as she struggled to focus on the words.

  This man smelled fresh and clean, so opposite of the sweat and grease of The Garage, which were comfortable scents for her. Of course, Ty hadn’t carried that scent when she’d gone on the date with him. She shook her head. Why did it always come back to him? He wasn’t interested in her. Not after she had shocked him with the truth.

  She wasn’t worthy of any man’s attentions.

  Pastor Andrew spoke about God’s power to know and find her. Why would the God of the universe want to be intimately acquainted with her? The very fact that there was no way she could hide from Him terrified her. Especially when He still seemed so remote and hidden.

  “Where can I flee from Your presence?” the psalmist asked in verse seven.

  She didn’t want to flee. Didn’t God realize that? Why did he stay away?

  The service ended, and she mulled over the words swimming before her on the pages of her Bible.

  A strong hand leaned over to close the book and they stood to sing another song.

  The pastor dismissed them and the man next to her turned her way.

  She couldn’t escape as the family on the other side of her hadn’t moved yet.