Donuts and Detours

by Baganz, Susan M. ;

Bethany and Ty settled in at the restaurant. They were early. Bethany kept her eye on the door and when a woman walked in with soft brown, shoulder-length hair streaked with silver, she knew “Mom” had come. She waved.

  Kristi joined them, carrying a cardboard box. “Bethany Joelle.” Kristi’s hands stretched across the table to clasp hers. “You have grown into a beautiful woman. Look at you.” She turned her attention to Ty. “You must be Titus Rickmeyer. Thank you for sharing your date time with me.” Kristi placed the box on the seat.

  “She’s a hard woman to refuse,” Titus quipped.

  The waitress came, and they ordered their food.

  “I wanted to talk to you face to face, dear. When Russell became sick we still hoped to go through with the adoption. We were shocked when they pulled you out of our home and refused to allow us contact with you. We tried as best we could to fight to get you back while focusing on Russ’ treatment. He didn’t last long and didn’t suffer as much as they’d predicted. His biggest regret was that we’d failed you. He blamed himself for that.” She pulled out an envelope. “He wrote this letter to you before he died. He told me if I ever was able to find you again, to make sure you got it. Bethany, he would be so proud of the woman you’ve grown to be.”

  Bethany took the envelope and tapped it against the table. “Now?”

  “No. When you’re ready. I know what it says. I penned it for him because he was too weak.”

  The food arrived and the waitress departed.

  “Let me pray for us.” Ty reached for her hand and gave her a comforting squeeze. “Lord, thank You for this reunion between Bethany Joelle and Kristi. Guide our time here and bless this food to help us be strong for the work You’ve called us to do. Amen.”

  Kristi looked at Titus. “You remind me so much of my husband, Russell. Bethany told me you’re a mechanic?”

  Titus told her how Bethany had tricked them at the garage and how she’d saved his life when he was trying to train the “young man” on the tow truck.

  “Titus makes me more heroic than I really am. He’s helped me out a lot. But what happened to you after I left, and Russell died?”

  “I grieved two losses. Russell and you. My kids tried hard to find you and we wrote many letters to the department and got nowhere. Finally, all we could do was hope and pray that when you turned eighteen you might seek us out. Or that we’d be able to find you easier.”

  Bethany teared up. “The social worker never told me any of this. I thought you didn’t want me so I didn’t try to find you again. I left foster care at age sixteen. I’d been through too many homes and finally ended up in a group home. Every experience made me feel even worse about what I thought was you giving up on me.”

  “Oh, honey. We never gave up. We set aside that money for the adoption and it’s been earning interest. It’s probably too soon to bring up, but I’d still love to adopt you. I never stopped thinking of you as my daughter. But first. This box should have gone with you. I had hoped to go through this with you when you were a little older. You were only fourteen when you were snatched from us.”

  Kristi opened the box and pulled out a bundle of letters wrapped in blue ribbon. “These letters are from your father. He wrote these while overseas to your mother.” She pulled out a notebook. “This is your mother’s journal. Did you know that your father loved the singer, Billy Joel?”

  “The Piano Man?” Titus asked.

  “The very same. He hoped to name his son Billy Joel, but he was blessed with a daughter instead, so you were named Bethany Joelle. Your mother convinced him that naming a girl Billy, spelled the boy’s way might cause problems.” Kristi smiled. She put the letters and the journal back in the box and pulled out a stuffed puppy. “This angered me more than anything that they kept your favorite comfort toy from you. They said you didn’t need anything. That you needed to grow up fast in the system. If I hadn’t been on the phone with that case worker I’d have punched her.”

  Bethany held her hand out for the stuffed animal. It was only about half the size of Cooper but was similar in color and style of the real-life dog Titus owned. She hugged it to herself. “Thank you.”

  “You need to understand that your parents both loved you dearly. Your mother struggled for a long time and didn’t have much support after your father was killed. Read their letters and you’ll understand how cherished you were. Read Russell’s letter and realize how desperately we longed to walk that road to his grave with you by our side and you continuing on in our family as my daughter and mutual comfort.”

  Bethany blinked back the tears. “This is too much to take.”

  An arm reached around her and drew her close to Titus’s side. He kissed her hair and hugged her tight. “I can see why they all adored you, Bethany Joelle.”

  The waitress came to collect the plates.

  Bethany had only finished half of hers.

  Titus asked for a to-go container.

  Kristi reached out to grab Bethany’s hand again. “This is a lot to process. I’ve loved you since you first came into our lives and I never stopped. Pray about it. I’d love to have you come on Labor Day to be with the family. Bring Titus if you’d like. Everyone longs to see you again.” She grabbed the check, rose, bent to give Bethany a quick hug, and was gone.

  Titus helped her out of the booth and then picked up the box Kristi had given her. He balanced the food container on top of it.

  Bethany still held the stuffed animal.

  They walked to the car in silence.

  “Where do you want to go?” Titus asked.

  “I don’t know. Surprise me.” Bethany stared out the window clutching the animal. Her mind was bursting. Her heart was overwhelmed—with grief, affection, and anger at what she’d lost because of a broken system.

  But hope rose at the possibility of finally belonging to someone. Having a family. A dream that had died so long ago, and that she thought she’d buried.

  Unfortunately, digging up the past brought up a lot of dirt and it was hard to shake it off as it tainted everything. She stared out the window.

  Titus drove in silence.

  She was thankful he was there and that she could trust him.

  The tears fell.

  The stuffed puppy absorbed them all.

  15

  On the other side of fear there is freedom!

  Unknown

  Titus drove to Lake Michigan. He didn’t know quite how to serve Bethany with what was going on inside of her. He grinned at thinking of her Army dad naming her after the pop artist. He was glad she was born a girl.

  He found a spot in a public park along the lake and went around to assist her down from the cab. “You want the box?”

  She nodded. He grabbed it and a blanket. Her leftovers wouldn’t survive the heat in the car, but Bethany was more important. He steered her to a shady spot where they could see the lake, listen to the waves, but also enjoy a little privacy. He set the box down and unfurled the blanket. “Are you OK here? I’ll go over to the concession and get us some water.”

  “I’m fine. Thanks.”

  She drew the box closer and removed the lid. The puppy was abandoned in her lap.

  How did a legacy sustain someone when the lives of two people only fit into a box, and the heart was too young to remember?

  Ty purchased the water and returned to their blanket. He dropped down next to her and placed a kiss on her hair again. Safer than her lips. Those lips were like a potent drug that shut off all his thought processes.

  She glanced at him. “A scrapbook.”

  “Cool.”

  Bethany started to page through and he couldn’t help but admire the handsome couple. Her hair looked much like her mom’s. Their rapid courtship, simple wedding, and the separations. The joy of finding out about a baby. The shower pics and the baby photos. The proud papa and beaming mother. And the newborn Bethany Joelle.

  “Oops. I’m not supposed to see you in your birthday suit unless we’re married.
”

  She giggled. Pictures of her walking. Pigtails and dresses. Riding a small bike. Attending the military funeral for the father she barely knew. Newspaper clippings. She dug back in and pulled out a smaller box. Opening it she found a purple heart.

  “Wow.” Titus admired the medal. “He was a hero.”

  Nodding she closed it back up. “My daddy. I don’t remember any of this. It’s like reading a picture book of someone else’s childhood.”

  “I’m sorry, Bethany. My dad was a deadbeat and I don’t remember much but him beating me and my mom. And then he was gone never to be seen again. I was grateful. But my mom, she was my rock. I’m sorry you didn’t have that.”

  “Thanks.” She placed everything but the dog back in the box.

  “You wanted to adopt Cooper and I beat you to it, didn’t I?”

  “It’s OK. He’s better off with you. You’re more stable financially.”

  “You rescued him, and he would have rescued you.”

  Bethany squeezed the stuffed animal. “Now I got this little guy back.”

  “He doesn’t give you kisses.”

  “True, but Cooper’s kisses don’t compare to his master’s.”

  “I hope that means his master is a better kisser.”

  “Definitely not as wet and sloppy.” She sipped her water. “Thanks for being with me today. And for this, being here by the lakeshore. It’s beautiful.”

  “Not compared to you.”

  “No false praise.”

  “It’s not false. I think it was something deep inside you that called out to me before I realized how beautiful you were on the outside. After all, you do specialize in hiding that.”

  “But not today?”

  “Definitely not today.” He leaned forward and brushed a kiss over her lips. “Mmmm. Dessert is served.” He bent over to kiss her more thoroughly. He sat back and stretched out on the blanket. “I’m really sorry about the other night.”

  “I think I have a better understanding of why.”

  “Probably not.”

  “Oh?”

  “When I was sixteen I was pretty full of myself. I went into a full-blown rebellion. I didn’t understand anything about God. We never went to church. Mom was too busy working and trying to keep me fed and supporting my need to be ‘cool.’ I had a girlfriend, Carly. She was flirty, hot, and she dug me. Before I realized it, she was pregnant. I didn’t want to be a deserter like my dad. I proposed we marry. She didn’t want a child, or a husband, cramping her fun. I suggested adoption. She could only see abortion as her option.

  “I fought her on it. Her parents didn’t realize she was pregnant. She stole the money and went to have the ‘procedure’ as they called it. She died two days later of complications. Her parents blamed me.”

  Bethany leaned back on one elbow. “You blame yourself too.”

  He nodded.

  “That’s why you ran. You didn’t want us ending up the same way.”

  “I haven’t been intimate with anyone since. It pushed me to find Jesus and my life was changed. I still can’t forget her.”

  “You tried to take responsibility. I’m assuming your relationship was consensual.”

  “She was after it more than I was. Found out later the baby might not have even been mine. She’d been stepping out with some other guys too, usually when I was working my part-time job.”

  “What’d your mom say about it all?”

  “She said it was a hard lesson for me to learn. She didn’t want me to marry her, said the girl would ruin my life. She also told me to ‘keep it in your pants, young man.’ I have heeded that advice ever since. I’ve not had many relationships either.”

  Bethany sighed. “I was too afraid to trust anyone to even kiss them, much less anything else. I kept getting kicked out of foster homes because I reported abuses and attempts at molestation. Not always the parents—sometimes one of the kids, especially if there were teen boys. I learned quickly how to use my knee to good effect. It always left me homeless.”

  “Except for Russell and Kristi.”

  “Yeah. There I learned about God, cars, and what a family could be like. Cancer snatched it away from me.” She leaned over, planted a kiss on his lips and moved back. “I like you, Titus Rickmeyer.”

  “Even after what I shared?”

  “Yup.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re human and you’ve grown past that even though you still blame yourself. And because you make my entire body tingle when you kiss me…”

  “That’s not good.”

  “It isn’t?”

  “Nope. It’ll never do. Tingles are dangerous.” He winked at her.

  “Really?” She leaned over and kissed him again, a lingering one. She pulled away and lay on her back. “You’re right as usual.”

  “I am? I mean, I’m usually right?” Ty asked.

  “Don’t let it go to your head, boy.”

  “Boy?” His tone was indignant.

  “Titus?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks for making this a good day—and for sharing your past with me. I’ll try to be more understanding of the need to back off. I believe I am capable of saying ‘no’ but don’t want to put you in a tough spot should it come that.”

  “I’m glad I could be here for you. Ready to head home? You have to work tomorrow, right?”

  “Yeah. Probably need to get to bed early. Too late for a nap now.”

  “Want to get some custard?”

  “Sure. Sounds good.”

  Titus rose and helped her to her feet.

  She held her puppy and took the box.

  He folded up the blanket. They walked back to the car and he helped her in. He stopped for a second before entering the truck. Her acceptance left him with a lighter heart. Her grace freed him, and he desired her all the more for it.

  ~*~

  On Monday, Titus met Dan at Culver’s for lunch and accountability.

  “How is Bethany Joelle?”

  Titus grinned. “She’s doing OK.” He’d emailed about the accident and that the men knew who she was.

  “Miles was arrested,” Dan added.

  “I’d heard. I’m glad he won’t be after her again. I’m sure he’s even angrier realizing it was her after their botched date.”

  “They found a date rape drug in his car.”

  “I’d wondered.” Titus bit into his double cheese butter burger.

  “How are you doing? I saw you guys holding hands on Sunday. Way to stake a claim.”

  Heat infused Ty’s face. “Yeah, guess so. The guys at the garage already suspected I was attracted to her. Figured I didn’t need to hide it.”

  “Is she receptive to your attention?”

  Titus nodded. “She even invited me to her reunion with the foster mom who almost adopted her. She’s praying about whether she wants to allow that to proceed even now.”

  “But she’s an adult.”

  “With no family. No roots. No one in her corner. I can’t imagine that. I have not only my mom but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins… Bethany has no one to call her own family. I hope she does it. Kristi seemed like a sweet woman. What little Bethany tells me about her time there sounded healthy.”

  “I’m glad. Where do you see your relationship going with her?”

  Titus chewed slowly. “I want to be her family.” He sipped his soda.

  “Kind of thought so. Any plan?”

  “Not yet. So much is going on in her life. She’s blossoming before my eyes and I’m afraid if I force things I’ll hinder some of what God is doing. I don’t want to scare her off.”

  “But you physically desire her.”

  “Guess I’ll be doing more jogging with Cooper.”

  “That little dog can’t keep up with the kind of jogging you’ll need.”

  Ty laughed. “True. I’d be carrying him most of the way. Maybe a stroller?”

  “Now that I’d like to see.”
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br />   “Just so you know, your message yesterday affected her powerfully.”

  “How so?”

  “I’m not really sure. We didn’t have time to talk but God was doing something in her heart.”

  “Thanks for telling me. Sometimes I wonder if anyone really listens or if the message sinks home. Often I suspect they walk out of church and couldn’t share even one thing I taught.”

  “Sorry. I know you pour a lot of energy into teaching and you don’t get to do it often, but I know you’ve challenged me more than once from the stage, even during worship.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  “How’s the newlywed life coming?”

  Dan grinned. “It’s great. The kids are wonderful. Sometimes I still miss Sharon and feel guilty enjoying my new marriage and kids.”

  “Still not able to eat apple pie?”

  “Not a normal pie. Skye came up with these mini ones. Tastes the same but small. I can eat those now. Banana crème has become the new favorite. The kids like the banana song. Every time Skye makes that pie, it’s greeted with that.”

  “Sounds like you’re making fun new memories.”

  “I am. It was a rough patch there after Sharon died and when I was on sabbatical to grieve and heal. I’m grateful Andrew pushed me to that. I might never have learned to have fun, to play, or fallen in love with Skye.”

  “Funny how hard things can end up producing beautiful results down the line.”

  “Like when B.J. saved your life?”

  “Yeah. My mom met her now too and likes her.”

  “That says a lot.”

  “It does. She’s got a keen sense about people. I was glad to get her vote of confidence.”

  “Good. So…how’s your walk with God?”

  Titus wiped his mouth off with the napkin, making sure nothing was caught in his beard. “I’ve been praying as I walk Cooper. I’ve not been as faithful about reading my Bible. Trying to listen to it on my mp3 player in the car or when I’m off to tow a truck. Sometimes my drives can be long. I’m praying more during the day too, but mostly for Bethany Joelle as she’s on my mind a lot.”

  “What’s He been teaching you?”

  “To wait. To bide my time. Part of me wants to get a ring and propose and move on to happily wedded bliss, but I don’t sense peace in my spirit about rushing that.”