Balloon Boy and the Porcupine Pals: Antihooliganism
Page 20
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Because the percentages indicated it was nearly impossible to get some food without waking up Victory, the three travelers determined they would all go and eat at the same time. They decided to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, since the bread would likely only last a few weeks. They had a tremendous supply of granola bars, ramen style noodles, and macaroni and cheese (which Tom referred to as "yellow death") for sustenance. Victory had of course packed her own food: store-bought lunch trays, instant microwave meals, and what appeared to be hundreds of chocolate bars. She had previously indicated that she was completely unwilling to share any of it.
Although initially cranky after waking from her slumber, Victory calmed down once she began shoveling food into her mouth. "Where are we?" she asked as she chewed her food.
"We're in the kitchen of a single-wide trailer, somewhere in the deep immensities of 'astro-space,'" answered Tom.
"Nice, Tom. Thank you for that," said Victory. "But I want to know if we're on track to get to this Sombrero place."
"Yup," said Balloon, confidently. "We's gonna be there right on schedule, 'bout twenty-eight 'n a half days er so yonder."
"Wow, that's a long ride," said Tom. "Longer than a drive to Disneyland; that's for sure. Hey, Victory, you got any British poetry I could read to pass the time? I've been meaning to binge on Lord Tennyson for quite a while now. I just haven't gotten around to it."
As they spoke, the light filtering through the windows of the single-wide began to dim. Russ looked through the small window of the kitchen to investigate.
"This is it. We're leaving the Milky Way. Come check it out."
Russ stepped aside to allow the others to look. Victory was last to the window, but was of course first to take in the scene. Out this "back window" of the spaceship, Victory saw the last few remaining stars move out of discernible sight. Although the Milky Way took up the entire view, it was clear to her they were leaving its outer boundaries. She then muttered something about being tired and returned to her spot on the flower couch.
After Balloon and Tom had their chance at the window, Russ motioned them toward the command center. "Let's see what we've got up ahead."
"Most likely pain and despair," said Tom.
The three travelers resumed their spots in the command center, looking through the viewing window.
"It's like somebody shut them lights off out there, like's we's in a cave er somethin'." Balloon had always been vaguely afraid of the dark. Fortunately for him, his idiot brain was typically unable to conjure up anything genuinely fearful when the lights went off. The result was a dim sense of uneasiness that usually didn't bother him. "I ain't big on caves," he said, sensing his own discomfort.
"But if you look closely," said Russ, "you can see little glints of light out there. Those must be other galaxies."
"Either that or fireflies," added Tom. "They're resilient bugs; I bet they can survive out here."
"Maybe they's some eyes starin' at us, like wolves 'n coyotes 'n what not."
"Lions, tigers, and bears? Good call, Balloon; you may be on to something," laughed Tom. "Oh crap," he said with alarm, in mock Balloon accent, "what if thems lights out there's is them space bandits? What if they's be knowin' we's outta heres and what nots, and they's come to steal our mac 'n cheese dinners?"
Russ, sensing Balloon's growing unease, interceded. "I think the space bandits, if they exist, likely wouldn't be out here. We're literally out in the middle of nowhere."
"What if we get a flat tire?" joked Tom.
"Well then I guess we'll have to hitchhike," answered Russ.